Bringing negative posts to the top

Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

December 17th, 2002, 11:30 pm #11

Sorry Rick, I edited my post above while you were responding to it. I had some pretty bad sentence structure in one part. Actually there were a few parts that were not structured well but I let the others go. I think you were responding to this post so your reply here may seem a little out of sequence.
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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

December 29th, 2002, 2:04 am #12

Its sometimes tricky running a board such as ours. Some past strings have great content and using them for an example or a point of reference can be a great benefit for new readers. But as this post covers, sometimes the title is the only thing that a lot of people are going to read and that message alone can start a chain reaction of negative postings or just leaving a person looking in thinking that a person or various people are in trouble of having a harder time than is actually occurring.

Today we had the post God I Want a Cigarette!!!! brought up. It is in fact a great string illustrating how a person who in the early days of a quit and sounding and feeling that quitting is impossible can develop into a strong and secure ex-smoker who very rarely if ever experiences any such moments months or years into his or her quit. To some degree this illustrates an almost universal experience to most ex-smokers.

But again, when it is brought to the top the string poses a problem. The best way to avoid this complication and still use benefit from use of the string is to keep the original string down by not attaching any new posts to it, and using a new string linking over to it and saying how that string serves as a great example of how a person will become stronger over time.

Here is an example illustrating what I mean, using the exact post that was utilized this morning.

Start a new string with a title like:

"It really gets better over time," or "An example of how it gets better over time."

Then in the body write something to the effect:

"When people are first quitting smoking they often feel that quitting smoking is impossible and life will be a constant battle of trying to stay smoke free. But this is not how it will be for the vast majority of people. Even if you are having an absolutely terrible time now, know that this is temporary and it will soon be much better.

A good case in point can be seen by reading the post, God I Want a Cigarette!!!! Just a notice of caution, please do read this post but do not reply to it. If you do it will elevate it to the top and give the board that the person who wrote it is currently in trouble which is clearly not the case. (see the string Bringing negative posts to the top that discusses this issue)

In that post you will see how a person who sounded as if she were on the verge and likely feeling that she was going to lose a quit has become one of our many multi-year success story."

By using a technique like this, you will still get the value of the original string without leaving anyone quickly reading the board thinking that there is a crisis happening. By putting in the link to Bringing negative posts to the top you are even educating anyone reading on how to be careful not to respond and create a similar negative post himself or herself when reading the suggested link.

We have a great wealth of experience and information in our past posts and want people to feel free in being able to utilize these strings. Lets do it in a way that keeps our board being as positive as it deserves to be. Quitting smoking is a good and positive thing and nobody should ever have the impression that being an ex-smoker was a bad choice. Becoming an ex-smoker is one of the greatest decisions and one of the greatest accomplishments that all of our members and all successful ex-smokers have ever pulled off. We want everyone here to always recognize this fact and to always stay happy, strong and resolute in his or her decision to never take another puff!

Joel
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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:58 pm

January 21st, 2003, 10:29 pm #13

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Joined: January 10th, 2009, 12:14 am

January 21st, 2003, 11:09 pm #14

This message has been deleted by the author.
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Joined: January 10th, 2009, 12:14 am

January 21st, 2003, 11:11 pm #15

Hi Joel

Im a little confused as to what all these mails actually mean?? It could have been me that didnt respond? and this whole concept of mails to the top.. the top of what.. sorry I dont follow any of what you have said nor what anyone else has said in this posting (or is it called a thread). Is there a link somewhere that I need to read to understand what we need to know to use this forum? Does this explain why the post "where are you from" was at the top (assuming the top is the top of the page) yesterday? If I open a post does it bring it to the top.. the top of my screen or the top of everyones? When can I write something: anytime just to share progress or only in an emergency? What sort of info do we want to bring to the top? And last who decides that the posting or thread should and must be at the top (what ever the top is)?
Please enlighten me. Sorry Joel I even got confused writing this!

Luke
Quit now for 2W 16H 57M
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Joined: December 19th, 2008, 12:00 am

January 21st, 2003, 11:27 pm #16



here you go, Luke.....it's all explained here

Our Courtesies
How to Post
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Joined: January 7th, 2009, 7:53 pm

January 21st, 2003, 11:44 pm #17

Thanks Joel and Mrs Grumpy for bringing this to the top.The last couple of days has got me down seeing the same post at the top every time I looked or so it seemed.Thank you again Mrs. Grumpy for making my day brighter and not having to look at the same post over and over.

Winnie
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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

January 22nd, 2003, 3:05 am #18

Hello Luke:

It's all pretty simple. If you reply to a post you bring it to the top. So by me replying to this one now it is now brought up. I am not sure what you are referring to in thinking you were the man who had not responded. The original person to who this article was referring to was written back in mid-December. In fact, I was not the person to bring this one to the top today, it was another member who was seeing that a similar episode was being repeated. This was a somewhat tricky concept to bring out without hurting people's feelings and I spent quite a bit of time in the latter posts trying to clarify the reasoning behind the concept. If you read the entire string above though I think it will really help you to understand the importance of the original post. We are just trying not to create an artificially appearance of negativity to the board as a whole. Negative posts are addressed and we try to bring the member posting around to see the positives of not smoking. Hopefully that will help him or her move on to a more positive state that will be much more conducive to helping him or her and every one else reading here to stay happily committed to never take another puff!

Joel
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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

February 8th, 2003, 4:36 am #19

I just deleted a string that was brought up to the top. When a manager writes that we want to let a string drop down because of the issues discussed here we ask all members to honor that request. If the person who was having a specific problem wants to bring up the string because they are still having the problem, that might be a legitmate reason to raise it again. But for another member to raise it because they want to congratulate the person of a milestone or to add additional comments, it is doing exactly what this post is talking about.

The string got deleted today precisely because this is what a member did. Where back on January 21 a manager put up the message that it was time to let this string drop, now two weeks later a member raised it saying that he or she knew it was against the rules but he or she was going to do it anyway. It resulted in the loss of the entire string.

Generally we don't like to delete strings if we can help it, but it is the one way that we can enforce policies that we have in place. Please honor our courtesy and rules here at Freedom, they are here to make this site the most effective it can be, for new members and old members alike. To stay a member with posting privileges stick within our proper code of conduct which is spelled out in our Courtesy and Rules thread. To stay a member of the race of living and healthy human beings no longer being controlled by a chemical substance always remember to never take another puff!

Joel
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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:59 pm

February 8th, 2003, 4:44 am #20

mea culpa
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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

March 21st, 2003, 8:53 pm #21

We have a lot of new members. I thought it would be a good idea to help people see how we try to structure the board and posts so that we can get an accurate portrayal of what quitting is like without making it appear that staying off is as bad as many people think that it is going to be over the long-term. The post below title of posts is a good case in point. I was actually thinking a good string to have brought up to see how things improve with time was the one titled, "God I Want a Cigarette!!!!," but as you will see from the comment below I prefer to get the message of that one string out on the board without bringing the title up to do it.
From: Joel. Sent: 12/28/2002 12:04 PM
Its sometimes tricky running a board such as ours. Some past strings have great content and using them for an example or a point of reference can be a great benefit for new readers. But as this post covers, sometimes the title is the only thing that a lot of people are going to read and that message alone can start a chain reaction of negative postings or just leaving a person looking in thinking that a person or various people are in trouble of having a harder time than is actually occurring.

Today we had the post God I Want a Cigarette!!!! brought up. It is in fact a great string illustrating how a person who in the early days of a quit and sounding and feeling that quitting is impossible can develop into a strong and secure ex-smoker who very rarely if ever experiences any such moments months or years into his or her quit. To some degree this illustrates an almost universal experience to most ex-smokers.

But again, when it is brought to the top the string poses a problem. The best way to avoid this complication and still use benefit from use of the string is to keep the original string down by not attaching any new posts to it, and using a new string linking over to it and saying how that string serves as a great example of how a person will become stronger over time.

Here is an example illustrating what I mean, using the exact post that was utilized this morning.

Start a new string with a title like:

"It really gets better over time," or "An example of how it gets better over time."

Then in the body write something to the effect:

"When people are first quitting smoking they often feel that quitting smoking is impossible and life will be a constant battle of trying to stay smoke free. But this is not how it will be for the vast majority of people. Even if you are having an absolutely terrible time now, know that this is temporary and it will soon be much better.

A good case in point can be seen by reading the post, God I Want a Cigarette!!!! Just a notice of caution, please do read this post but do not reply to it. If you do it will elevate it to the top and give the board that the person who wrote it is currently in trouble which is clearly not the case. (see the string Bringing negative posts to the top that discusses this issue)

In that post you will see how a person who sounded as if she were on the verge and likely feeling that she was going to lose a quit has become one of our many multi-year success story."

By using a technique like this, you will still get the value of the original string without leaving anyone quickly reading the board thinking that there is a crisis happening. By putting in the link to Bringing negative posts to the top you are even educating anyone reading on how to be careful not to respond and create a similar negative post himself or herself when reading the suggested link.

We have a great wealth of experience and information in our past posts and want people to feel free in being able to utilize these strings. Lets do it in a way that keeps our board being as positive as it deserves to be. Quitting smoking is a good and positive thing and nobody should ever have the impression that being an ex-smoker was a bad choice. Becoming an ex-smoker is one of the greatest decisions and one of the greatest accomplishments that all of our members and all successful ex-smokers have ever pulled off. We want everyone here to always recognize this fact and to always stay happy, strong and resolute in his or her decision to never take another puff!

Joel
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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

March 25th, 2003, 1:11 am #22

For Rickdabler
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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

April 13th, 2003, 3:47 pm #23

We had an incident where a person wrote kind of a desperate post a few days ago, got lots of replies, came back and said she was better, thanked all of the people who responded and even said that she was a little embarrassed that she wrote the post, and then, two days later it got brought back up again leading to people addressing a problem that had long since past. This string addresses the reasons to avoid bringing such posts back to the top.
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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

April 23rd, 2003, 10:29 pm #24

We had an incident where a person wrote kind of a desperate post back in mid-January, got lots of replies, and wrote back a few days later that she was better. Then, almost three months later now a member popped up the post telling the person not to panic that things will get better. Bringing up this post made absolutely no sense today and to avoid any other confusion or embarassment to the member who first made the post I just pulled off the entire string.
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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

May 24th, 2003, 9:44 pm #25

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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:58 pm

June 7th, 2003, 11:47 am #26

This message has been deleted by the author.
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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

June 27th, 2003, 8:48 pm #27

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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

July 24th, 2003, 7:10 am #28

From: Joel Sent: 3/21/2003 6:53 AM
We have a lot of new members. I thought it would be a good idea to help people see how we try to structure the board and posts so that we can get an accurate portrayal of what quitting is like without making it appear that staying off is as bad as many people think that it is going to be over the long-term. The post below title of posts is a good case in point. I was actually thinking a good string to have brought up to see how things improve with time was the one titled, "God I Want a Cigarette!!!!," but as you will see from the comment below I prefer to get the message of that one string out on the board without bringing the title up to do it.




From: Joel. Sent: 12/28/2002 12:04 PM
Its sometimes tricky running a board such as ours. Some past strings have great content and using them for an example or a point of reference can be a great benefit for new readers. But as this post covers, sometimes the title is the only thing that a lot of people are going to read and that message alone can start a chain reaction of negative postings or just leaving a person looking in thinking that a person or various people are in trouble of having a harder time than is actually occurring.





Today we had the post God I Want a Cigarette!!!! brought up. It is in fact a great string illustrating how a person who in the early days of a quit and sounding and feeling that quitting is impossible can develop into a strong and secure ex-smoker who very rarely if ever experiences any such moments months or years into his or her quit. To some degree this illustrates an almost universal experience to most ex-smokers.





But again, when it is brought to the top the string poses a problem. The best way to avoid this complication and still use benefit from use of the string is to keep the original string down by not attaching any new posts to it, and using a new string linking over to it and saying how that string serves as a great example of how a person will become stronger over time.





Here is an example illustrating what I mean, using the exact post that was utilized this morning.





Start a new string with a title like:





"It really gets better over time," or "An example of how it gets better over time."





Then in the body write something to the effect:





"When people are first quitting smoking they often feel that quitting smoking is impossible and life will be a constant battle of trying to stay smoke free. But this is not how it will be for the vast majority of people. Even if you are having an absolutely terrible time now, know that this is temporary and it will soon be much better.





A good case in point can be seen by reading the post, God I Want a Cigarette!!!! Just a notice of caution, please do read this post but do not reply to it. If you do it will elevate it to the top and give the board that the person who wrote it is currently in trouble which is clearly not the case. (see the string Bringing negative posts to the top that discusses this issue)





In that post you will see how a person who sounded as if she were on the verge and likely feeling that she was going to lose a quit has become one of our many multi-year success story."


By using a technique like this, you will still get the value of the original string without leaving anyone quickly reading the board thinking that there is a crisis happening. By putting in the link to Bringing negative posts to the top you are even educating anyone reading on how to be careful not to respond and create a similar negative post himself or herself when reading the suggested link.





We have a great wealth of experience and information in our past posts and want people to feel free in being able to utilize these strings. Lets do it in a way that keeps our board being as positive as it deserves to be. Quitting smoking is a good and positive thing and nobody should ever have the impression that being an ex-smoker was a bad choice. Becoming an ex-smoker is one of the greatest decisions and one of the greatest accomplishments that all of our members and all successful ex-smokers have ever pulled off. We want everyone here to always recognize this fact and to always stay happy, strong and resolute in his or her decision to never take another puff!





Joel
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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

November 6th, 2003, 10:32 pm #29

I think you were the one to bring up that thread Michelle and I had the sense that you had somehow missed that warning. There were times where a person would bring up the thread with the message on it and make it clear that he or she saw the message but just had more to say anyway. In those cases we will just pull the string and the person's membership. But we do want people to really be careful for if they bring up the string by accident it is going to cause the deletion of the string and comments that might have been helpful in the early part of the string will be lost.

We don't actually have to bring this point often. Actually, weeks and usually months pass by without people popping up emergency or negative posts. Although this week we have had two such occasions. The one we are corresponding about here and another one from a few days ago. I added the comment of "Let this string drop" in bold letters and referred all readers to this string.

It was another example of where a person was having a tough time a few days ago, posted back that he was doing better, even posted in a new string that things had improved and yet the string was brought back up again. As this string here talks about, it is giving a false impression of where the member is at this point in time and can often bring people who have a limited time to post to support a person who is doing fine taking away their time from giving support to others who may be in a more problematic state.

Also, one other thing happened in that string that was a cause of concern. A day after the post was made and the person wrote back that he was fine, another member popped it up again and asked if he was still okay. You could see that the person started a new post saying that he thought that he made it clear that he was better and was sorry that he had worried others. He had nothing to apologize for, he did make it clear that the problem had passed.

I am going to recopy from the original post in this string why we don't want people bringing up posts like this:



There are a few already existing strings that address why we feel this way. They are:

Misery Love Company

(If you have not already read this one today please do and pay special attention to post 10 in that string.)
"Please don't smoke."
Acknowledge the negative--but dwell on the positive
Buddy Systems
Each of these string address issues that are likely explaining some of the possible reasons that this post did get raised today. There was no real reason for this man's post to be singled out.

If you go back over the board for the almost three years since Freedom has existed, there are hundreds of people whose posts like this could be brought up every day if we wanted to. Why pick out one and forget the others? Why are we not working at dragging all these people into posting and maybe quitting?


The reasons given above don't apply to this what was happening in this particular situation but still the concept still applies. No one should be put on the spot or feel like they have to post. The only time that we request people to post is if they feel like they are going to smoke. We want them to write us first. We want them to give us the opportunity to point out what they are setting themselves up for. We want them to give us a little time to reply. In truth, we are just trying to give them a little time to really think through the moment.

If the person gets replies and decides to smoke anyway, it is of course his or her prerogative and choice. We hope they have the courtesy of just quietly pulling their own membership. For the person has clearly decided at that point that he or she does has changed his or her mind and realizes that Freedom is no longer the place for him or her. When the person joined he or she had basically promised himself or herself that he or she was going to quit smoking and to work at staying free, giving in essence a 100% commitment to the process. But once a person takes a puff it is clear that he or she is no longer committed to these goals. As our Our Mission Statement points out we are not here to force anyone into quitting and we are not here to enforce personal resolve. We are here to help people who have already decided to quit and are sticking with that commitment. We are here to make sure that everyone remembers that the way to successfully stay smoke free for as long as you want is to simply stick to that commitment to never take another puff!

Joel
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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

November 13th, 2003, 10:07 pm #30

Its sometimes tricky running a board such as ours. Some past strings have great content and using them for an example or a point of reference can be a great benefit for new readers. But as this post covers, sometimes the title is the only thing that a lot of people are going to read and that message alone can start a chain reaction of negative postings or just leaving a person looking in thinking that a person or various people are in trouble of having a harder time than is actually occurring.

Today we had the post God I Want a Cigarette!!!! brought up. It is in fact a great string illustrating how a person who in the early days of a quit and sounding and feeling that quitting is impossible can develop into a strong and secure ex-smoker who very rarely if ever experiences any such moments months or years into his or her quit. To some degree this illustrates an almost universal experience to most ex-smokers.

But again, when it is brought to the top the string poses a problem. The best way to avoid this complication and still use benefit from use of the string is to keep the original string down by not attaching any new posts to it, and using a new string linking over to it and saying how that string serves as a great example of how a person will become stronger over time.

Here is an example illustrating what I mean, using the exact post that was utilized this morning.

Start a new string with a title like:

"It really gets better over time," or "An example of how it gets better over time."

Then in the body write something to the effect:

"When people are first quitting smoking they often feel that quitting smoking is impossible and life will be a constant battle of trying to stay smoke free. But this is not how it will be for the vast majority of people. Even if you are having an absolutely terrible time now, know that this is temporary and it will soon be much better.

A good case in point can be seen by reading the post, God I Want a Cigarette!!!! Just a notice of caution, please do read this post but do not reply to it. If you do it will elevate it to the top and give the board that the person who wrote it is currently in trouble which is clearly not the case. (see the string Bringing negative posts to the top that discusses this issue)

In that post you will see how a person who sounded as if she were on the verge and likely feeling that she was going to lose a quit has become one of our many multi-year success story."


By using a technique like this, you will still get the value of the original string without leaving anyone quickly reading the board thinking that there is a crisis happening. By putting in the link to Bringing negative posts to the top you are even educating anyone reading on how to be careful not to respond and create a similar negative post himself or herself when reading the suggested link.

We have a great wealth of experience and information in our past posts and want people to feel free in being able to utilize these strings. Lets do it in a way that keeps our board being as positive as it deserves to be. Quitting smoking is a good and positive thing and nobody should ever have the impression that being an ex-smoker was a bad choice. Becoming an ex-smoker is one of the greatest decisions and one of the greatest accomplishments that all of our members and all successful ex-smokers have ever pulled off. We want everyone here to always recognize this fact and to always stay happy, strong and resolute in his or her decision to never take another puff!

Joel
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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

December 7th, 2003, 12:22 am #31

Message 19 of 20 in Discussion
From: GrumpyOMrsS (Gold) Sent: 12/2/2003 9:12 AM
PLEASE DO NOT BRING THIS THREAD BACK TO THE TOP!

There are a lot of great posts in it and we would hate to delete it. Bringing negative posts to the top after the crisis has passed

Linda

The comment above was attached to a string that was started back on December 1. It was made clear by a manager that it was time to let this string drop, the final post indicating that the string would be pulled if it were to reappear again. Accordingly the string was pulled. Again, the only person who can bring up such a post again is the original author of such a string, and it is probably safer for even that person to start a new post linking over to the original post.
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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

December 7th, 2003, 12:50 am #32

I meant to say that a member attached a comment to that particular string today, bringing it to the top which is why we pulled it.
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January 8th, 2004, 10:13 am #33

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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

January 8th, 2004, 10:22 am #34

Joel - My apologies if my last post was the reason you had to delete that thread. I didn't realize you were posting while I was typing up my post. I understand the reasoning here. Next time I will bump up the thread I would like to bring to attention. Thanks for your support, Kay
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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

January 8th, 2004, 10:26 am #35

We just pulled a string that fits into this category. A message was placed onto the string by a manager to let it drop. The string was then popped up a few minutes later so accordingly the whole string was pulled. The person who wrote the string had ample time to get the message. Here was the last reply I had put into that string before the post that caused it to be pulled.
From: Joel Sent: 1/7/2004 8:12 PM
"Please don't smoke." 37 1 Joel. 1/7/2004 8:02 PM
"I think I have decided to go back to smoking" 51 6 Joel. 1/7/2004 8:01 PM
Diversions 69 8 Joel. 1/7/2004 8:00 PM
I'M DYING! 36 5 Joel. 1/7/2004 8:00 PM
This string has had enough attention. Let it drop. The next time it is popped up we are going to delete it. See Bringing negative posts to the top
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