“Boy, do I miss smoking!”

Joined: January 7th, 2009, 7:12 pm

July 25th, 2001, 1:12 am #11

Thanks Joel - really need this reinforcement today. I was actually letting myself think that if I still smoked I would eat less and thus not have put on this weight. Although I am working out and eating right, these pounds keep creeping up on me ever so slowly. Reading this article helped me realize I never had time to eat before because I was always too concerned about getting my fix. It reminded of how smoking completely controlled my daily schedule and all activities. I am free of that now. Thanks!
Breathing Easier, back in focus, 2 months, 4 days.

Joined: December 19th, 2008, 12:29 am

December 6th, 2001, 2:40 am #12

About the "weight" thing: I gained 40 pounds when I quit the last time. I got so tired of being fat that I started smoking again (for 7 more years, 22,000 sickerettes). So there I was, smoking again and STILL 40 pounds heavier. Translation, I didn't lose weight once I started smoking again, and instead renewed my addiction. I have quit FOR THE LAST TIME, chubby or not!!
Haven't take ONE PUFF for 3weeks, 5days, 12hours! *Candy*

Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

December 31st, 2001, 1:42 am #13

Geeeze Joel, thanks! Being two plus years removed from thirty years of dependency and the need to **** down sixty nico-fixes a day, I'd almost forgot about:
  • Needing a fix upon waking
  • The cough and nasty phlegm
  • The dry throat.
  • Lousy taste in my mouth
  • The slight headaches
  • The dead taste buds
  • Including the tasteless coffee
  • All the time I lost treating my addiction
  • The dirty film on the inside of the windshield
  • The smell of a smoker's car
  • The ash everywhere
  • Keeping up with my nico-feeding tools
  • Those last second juice-up fixes
  • The inbetween nico-fixes

Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

August 6th, 2002, 8:43 pm #14

Bryan Wanted us to Know!

Joined: January 7th, 2009, 7:10 pm

March 3rd, 2004, 2:50 am #15

I say that all the time. I'm 16 days into my quit, and say it a lot. However, I won't allow myself to fall back into nicodemon's grip. It's a memory. Something I used to have, but have no longer. Like a favorite stuffed animal. I'd say, "Boy, I miss my polka-dotted hippo." and I'd sigh that sigh of rememberance and move on. I'll admit for that for 1/2 a second, I'll look upon my memory as a happy one remembering the buzz after the first inhale...but it is not a happy one. It is a dangerous trigger and evil memory that I will not allow myself to invest in ever again. I know that this is a one day at a time addiction. I know that since I'm new, I will have to look at my addiction every day and will have to reject it every day. The cravings will ease, the sense of loss will lessen. But I will always remember what it was like. It's just a fact. And I will still miss it, but I will NTAP anyway.

Last edited by Jahunta on April 13th, 2009, 11:51 am, edited 1 time in total.

Joined: January 7th, 2009, 6:59 pm

March 3rd, 2004, 10:03 am #16

I have not smoked for 41 days. I'm Green. I'm getting ready to travel across the country to visit my mother who last year survived her second valve replacement within 7 years. My mother has been a smoker for the 41 years I've known her. She admitted to having a cigg not to long ago. EEEK.

I'm in trigger central let me tell you and the nasty thing is, I seem to think I miss smoking because I'm going through all the motions of planning a somewhat stressful trip, (family) which I haven't done for a while and my mind is just gravitating to missing smoking and it's really bothering me. I know it's all the trigger, I just know it. I've been leaning on my crutches a little more, but mostly, I've been coming here to read. I know the posts are great but really, it's Joel's Library that gets me through times like this. Thanks for bringing this post up...it's perfect. This is where I need to be. Give my head a shake, thanks.

 No Thanks...
Nic free for 41 days...junkie alive and well.
Last edited by ButterfliesareSilver on June 14th, 2010, 12:11 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Joined: January 16th, 2003, 8:00 am

March 3rd, 2004, 10:40 am #17

Our junky side doesn't fight fair, and uses confusing logic. It plays upon the parts of us that feel most vulnerable. The parts of us that want to hide and wish things away. You can eliminate the fear, and silence the voice by always looking it in the eye, seeing it for what it is, and never letting it get away without shedding the light of truth upon it.
From Monster under the bed
Last edited by Sal GOLD.ffn on April 13th, 2009, 11:53 am, edited 1 time in total.

Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

March 21st, 2004, 8:54 pm #18

Why some people may feel depressed after a month or longer after quitting. If a person thinks to him or herself how much he or she misses smoking, he or she is likely going to feel deprived of cigarettes and possibly depressed from the deprivation. The fact is though when a person quits smoking he or she is not depriving himself or herself of a cigarette, he or she is ridding himself or herself of smoking--meaning of having to smoke all of the cigarettes he or she smoked on a daily basis and of all of the problems and consequences that goes along wity all of those cigarettes. Most feel that there were some good cigarettes at the end, but there were a whole lot more rotten cigarettes and meaningless or empty cigarettes that had to accompany the good ones. The fact is, all of the cigarettes, the rotten ones, the insignificant ones and even the good ones were destroying the person and over time was probably going to kill the person. To keep yourself happily free always remember why you first committed and are still committed to never take another puff!
Related readings:
Fixating on a cigarette
I want one ...
Just one little puff?
Just one or two
Last edited by Joel on April 13th, 2009, 11:55 am, edited 1 time in total.

Joined: January 12th, 2009, 9:56 pm

April 7th, 2004, 1:39 am #19

I read this article for the first time about a month ago and it has helped me maintain my quit better than anything else. Just last week I was having a tough time with work and family when an oppertunity arose to have a cigarette. I thought to myself then and several times afterwards that one cigarette wouldn't hurt, and maybe it will help me to stop thinking about smoking so much. But we all know it doesn't work that way. Right now, on a really bad day I may think about smoking once or twice. When I was a smoker, I thought about smoking constantly. This revelation made me smile. How can I be unhappy because I still think about cigarettes on occassion when I used to be absorbed by the thought of smoking just about every moment of every day. Crazy stuff. I like this option much better.

Smoke Free 2 Months +

Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:58 pm

April 7th, 2004, 1:44 am #20

Wow, yes - it just struck me on reading that - I think about smoking a couple of times a day now - and can get over those times easily - but I used to think about it most of the day - where, when, how the next fix!
It's so much easier being a non smoker.
I will never take another puff. I don't want my life ruined any longer.
I've been quit for 27 days, 17 hours, 44 minutes and 27 seconds (28 days).
I've not smoked 416 death sticks, and saved £93.73.
I've saved 1 day(s), 11 hour(s) of my life.

Joined: December 19th, 2008, 1:42 am

October 5th, 2004, 10:59 pm #21

"Boy, do I miss smoking!" This is exactly how I've been feeling for the last couple of days. Reading this helped me remember what it is REALLY like as an active nicotine user. Thanks Joel, and Jason for bringing it to attention. Peace will come as long as I NTAP.

Idona-Free and Healing 1 month 1 week, 2 days, 19 hours.

Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

November 24th, 2004, 12:40 pm #22

The Fantasy

Joined: January 12th, 2009, 9:56 pm

January 16th, 2005, 12:42 pm #23

Joel, How did you know! Your story had me pegged exactly as I was. I can not believe you wrote about me! Thank God you did! I love you for it! I am ready for a game of Rumoli in my non-smoking dining room (house) with all my smoker friends. And they have agreed to go outside for a smoke and I agreed to come read my new mail and more stories while they go outside and continue to kill themselves.
Thanks Joel

Joined: December 19th, 2008, 12:12 am

April 28th, 2005, 4:09 pm #24

Thank you, thank you Joel for bubbling up these pearls of learning and wisdom:
Why do some people feel depressed after a month or longer after quitting? If a person thinks to him or herself how much he or she misses smoking, he or she is likely going to feel deprived of cigarettes and possibly depressed from the deprivation.
This message was so important for me to see again right now. I am in that state of desire for smoking....not thinking one, two or occasional, but full-blown smoking. Everyday is still a struggle and "One Day At A Time" is my near constant motto. I know it will be fine but it sure is hard. My saving grace is that when I think about smoking again, and I think about how hard still is after 3 months, i know I do not want to start over!

Joined: April 4th, 2005, 7:00 am

June 8th, 2005, 11:34 am #25

Once again you have to smoke as soon as you wake up just to have the strength and energy to drag yourself out of bed. You cough up some of that phlegm in your lungs and get a drink of water for that horribly dry throat. You have a lousy taste in your mouth and a slight headache. But none of this concerns you since you feel this way every morning.

Not anymore baby, and never again, as long as I never take another puff!

Joseph - 237 days

Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

January 13th, 2006, 11:54 am #26

Using Attitude to Reduce Anxiety
Have you previously tried to break nicotine's grip? Have you ever stopped to consider that each of your recovery attempts have been different? It might surprise you to learn that those investing the time to eduacate themselves often experience far less challenging recoveries than ever before. Those who learn to handle the possible wild blood sugar swings that often accompany nicotine cessation, who learn why it may take only half as much caffeine in order for their blood serum caffeine level to be identical to what it was while still actively smoking nicotine, and who take the time to understand and appreciate the different phases associated with the sense of emotional loss are using their intellect to help avoid many of the symptoms they might otherwise have experienced. This article focuses on yet another important area, diminishing anxiety by embracing recovery.

Can we make ourselves miserable on purpose? No doubt about it. Throughout our lives we've experienced worry, fear, anger and irritability, only to find out later that our worries, fears and anxieties were either totally unnecessary or were over little or nothing at all. Most often they resulted from procrastination as we failed to take those first baby steps and instead fled into the dependability of our addiction or addictions.

Addiction isn't about intoxication but about feeling normal, safe and temporarily free of stress. For the nicotine addict it's about returning to that artificial chemical world of "nicotine normal," a strange mix where elevated dopamine output briefly restores that missing "aaahhh" sensation, while elevated levels of adrenaline yet again prepare the body's defenses for fight or flight. But when it comes to recovery, what was once the mind's conditioned subconscious defense to real or imagined harm, now becomes the greatest obstacle to recovery.

Nicotine's two hour chemical half-life inside the human body creates a constant struggle to remain in that energized zone of comfort. It's a lifetime battle to avoid the inevitable letdown associated with constantly declining nicotine reserves and the corresponding decline of dopamine output, as the lingering aftermath of the addict's early aaahhh sensation - sensed in the brain's reward pathways within 10 seconds of that first puff - begins to evaporate.

It's a never-ending cycle of nicotine induced adrenaline releases whipping every neuron in the body's central nervous system, with each cigarette, like some tired horse badly in need of a rest. It's an endless struggle to avoid feeling tired and drained as adrenaline output declines. It's the struggle to avoid losing the instant energy and alertness that arrived as stored fats were released into the blood while an accelerating heart-rate pumped carbon monoxide, nicotine, additional oxygen and the fats through rapidly constricting blood vessels engaged in preparing for the possibility of blood loss during fight or flight.

Welcome to the addict's world of "nicotine normal," no longer an adventure but a lifetime job. Although staying addicted is hard work, the inner mind has been conditioned to believe that chemical withdrawal and recovery -- that temporary period of adjustment needed to again become 100% comfortable engaging life as "you" -- is a threat to survival. Even though the logical, reasoning and dreaming conscious mind sees recovery as the only possible way of ever returning to a true sense of non-chemical normal, the subconscious "nicotine normal" mind has been heavily conditioned by years of feeling the immediate effects of elevated dopamine and adrenaline levels. It sees nicotine cessation as quitting you, not recovering you. Incapable of reason or logic, it sees recovery as a threat and will employ fear, anger, anxiety, depression, and pre-conditioned crave episodes in its struggle to get the conscious mind to comply, relapse, and bring new nicotine back into the body.

Instead of reassuring the subconscious mind not to fear returning to the "real" you, many add needless self-induced tensions and anxieties to the recovery experience that at times can make recovery seem overwhelming. We can make them escalate to the point where we lash out against loved ones and friends, where we want to hit a tree with our bare hand or where we put our head under a pillow and scream at the top of our lungs. Our crave episodes and thoughts don't cause us to relapse. If they did then few of earth's more than one billion comfortable ex-smokers would ever have become ex-smokers. What causes relapse is the layers and layers of anxiety icing that the conscious mind intentionally cakes upon recovery.

Remember when we were first learning to swim and found ourselves in water over our head. Did you panic? I did. If I had been a skilled swimmer would I have panicked? Of course not. Here at WhyQuit and Freedom we teach smokers to swim and then lead them into deep water. Once there, the smoker can panic and risk relapse or remain calm, enjoy the swim, and fully embrace this most amazing experience. Recovery doesn't need to be nearly as difficult as our instincts are inclined to make it. In fact, it can be a proud, reassuring and glorious adventure in physical and psychological healing.

Sadly, almost half of all current smokers will never learn how to swim and the toxic feedings associated with their chemical world of "nicotine normal" will end up costing them their lives. Many genuinely believe that time is running out and disaster is about strike. For far too many this gut instinct is correct and bad news is just around the corner. Others think that plenty of time remains but after repeated failed attempts they still remain a slave to nicotine's subconscious chemical conditioning. Don't panic. Instead, invest the time needed to become an excellent swimmer. The more knowledgeable and skilled we become the greater our chances of breaking free and remaining afloat. Yes, there may be a few big waves along the way but that doesn't mean we should fear their arrival or that we can't relax and do the backstroke until encountered.

As part of our recovery, why not work on reducing self-inflicted stress, worry, anxiety and panic. In evaluating your thoughts try to be as objective and honest as possible with yourself.. If we repeatedly tell ourselves that this temporary period of adjustment called "recovery" is hard, frightening and painful, won't our anxieties only escalate further as we fuel our subconscious mind's survival instinct to see "nicotine normal" again prevail? Seeing truth after living a lifetime of denial isn't easy. Let's look at one quick example shared with me by Professor Phil Michaels at U.S.C. School of Medicine.

"Did you "like" destroying your body, "like" the taste of 4,000 burning chemicals stinging your tissues, "like" being a chemical slave, or "like" interrupting life's special moments in order to go feed your addiction? The "like" example of addiction denial is grounded in each of us using honest reason to reach a faulty conclusion that often flows like this: "I do not do things I do not like to do," "I smoke lots and lots of cigarettes, " "therefore I must really like smoking." An honest alternative would be "therefore I must really be addicted to smoking." Denial comes in many forms including recovery denial.

We can deny that the law of addiction applies to us and make believe we somehow have the ability handle one powerful puff of nicotine and not experience full blown relapse. We can also feed ourselves the big big bite theory that says that the only way to measure success is in terms of staying nicotine-free "forever," instead of focusing on the only time frame that really matters -- complete victory over the next few minutes. If we keep feeding ourselves massive doses of dishonest or destructive thinking, how long will our conscious rational mind last before abandoning its quest for freedom and joining our emotional subconscious in demanding relapse? But let's turn back to subject of self-inflicted anxiety that can grow so intense we begin to fixate and dwell denial lies while seriously pondering relapse.

Picture a plugged-in lamp but without a bulb and the switch turned off. Picture yourself intentionally sticking your finger into the bulb socket and leaving it there. Now picture all of your nicotine feeding cues (triggers) -- the times, places, emotions and events during which you customarily smoked nicotine and thereby conditioned your subconscious to expect the arrival of new nicotine -- being wired directly into the lamp's switch.

We know from detailed studies the "average" number of crave episodes experienced during recovery. Power to the crave lamp will be briefly turned-on a specific number of times each day, with the average being less than 18 minutes on their most challenging day -- recovery day three with 6 craves, each less than three minutes in duration. Be sure and look at a clock as a recent study found that time distortion is a very real recovery symptom that can make a 2 to 3 minute crave episode feel much longer. I've prepared the below crave chart from crave coping data presented in a 1998 study published in Research in Nursing and Health.
With the above chart, please keep in mind that these are just averages and every recovery is different. Some experience no craves at all while others can have twice as many as show above. Even so, if you were in the extreme with double the average, that's still only 36 minutes of crave episode anxiety on your most challenging day - 36 minutes to freedom, each minute entirely doable!

If you know that you are going to be encountering your crave triggers and cues but you don't know when, what will having your finger in an electrical lamp socket all day do to your nerves? Will it keep you on edge? Will the constant sense of anticipation breed anxiety that has you lashing-out against anyone walking into the room? Will you feel like crying? Will worry and concern deprive you of concentrating on other things? Will it wear you down and drain your spirit?

But what if you knew for certain that the shock itself would always be tolerable, that no crave episode would ever harm you, cut you, make you bleed, break bones, make you ill, or kill you, and that the episode itself would not last longer than three minutes? What if you actually began to believe that meeting, greeting and moving beyond each crave episode was a critical and welcome step toward full, complete and permanent recovery? Can honesty, certainty, confidence, understanding, planning and attitude make the time and distance between crave episodes more relaxed and their eventual arrival a welcomed event?

Instead of focusing on any minor anxiety discomfort you may experience during the short period of time a crave episode is actually occurring and the recovery light switch is on, why not work on learning to relax more during the massive amount of time that the switch is actually off? If we keep feeding ourselves the thought that recovery is hard then we should fully expect our subconscious mind to issue forth the emotions needed to cause the rational you to abandon your quest for freedom. If we keep telling ourselves this is hard, we should expect it to be hard.

Why feed ourselves failure? Why fear the swim and worry needlessly when some of us are not even in the water yet? Why assist our inner conditioned mind in breeding negative and powerful anxieties? Why allow such thoughts to fester until they begin oozing anxiety's destructive relapse puss? Instead, chase all negativism from your mind. Replace it with calmness, safety, joy and the knowledge that no three minute crave episode can force you to ever again **** nicotine into your body. Replace it with the reassurance that most subconscious crave triggers are re-conditioned or broken after a single encounter. Fight back with your reason, logic, and dreams that look forward with confidence while knowing that nothing is being left behind, and that nicotine addiction does not define who you are, your life or command your remaining time on earth.

Embrace recovery as your wonderful journey home to experience the rich, deep, and tranquil inner calmness that resided inside your mind before climbing aboard the endless nicotine/dopamine/adrenaline lifetime roller-coaster ride of cycling highs and lows. See encountering and reconditioning each crave trigger cue for what it truly is - a highly visible sign of true healing and recovery. Sense the emerging glory that is you and the abundance of oxygen arriving at every living cell in your body. In times of challenge fill your cup with truth, desire and the reasons that caused you to embark upon this quest for freedom . See all thoughts of smoking nicotine, that at times may seem to flood the mind, as golden opportunities to shed honest light on each, while sorting through years of conscious denial in which you made excuses for your chemical addiction that built a safe-house based on lies.

How full is your cup? Do you feel like you've lost a close friend (half empty) or do realize that friends don't slowly kill friends (half full)? Did you QUIT smoking (half empty) or is this where you really START living (half full)? Do you fear the arrival of your next crave (half empty) or are you excited by knowing that its arrival brings you one step closer to once again comfortably engaging every aspect of life as "you?" Will your next crave last forever (falsehood) or three minutes at most (the truth)? Will chemical withdrawal never end (falsehood) or will its intensity peak within 72 hours and then begin to gradually subside (the truth)? Do you expect to continue to experience daily "thoughts" of "wanting" to smoke nicotine forever (falsehood) or will your recovery amazingly evolve to a point where you awake each day "expecting" to go your entire day without ever once "wanting" to smoke nicotine? (the truth)?

Do you truly find joy in being addicted to one of the most powerful substances on planet earth or is that just something you convinced yourself of in order to justify your addiction, your next fix, and to avoid the challenge of withdrawal? Will 5, 10 or even 20 temporary extra pounds actually kill you (if they even happen at all) or have you already read that it takes 100 extra pounds to equal the health risk associated with just one pack a cigarettes a day?

Did you sell yourself on believing that smoking nicotine calmed or relieved stress when in fact it never once solved a single stressful event in your entire addicted life, other than relieving its own absence? Instead, you simply took flight or escape into your addiction in order to replenish rapidly falling blood-serum levels of the alkaloid nicotine that were being neutralized by stress generated body acids. How much of life went unaddressed by healthy reactions because of endlessly fleeing into our chemical world of nicotine normal? Name one stressful event that nicotine solved? Life as an addict is far more difficult than being "you" as the acid-alkaloid interaction adds the anxieties of early chemical withdrawal to every stressful challenge life throws your way.

Are you selling yourself relapse by telling yourself that you're growing weaker by the hour and won't be able to handle the next crave episode (if any), or do you know for certain that the next brief encounter will be less than three minutes, that you can handle each minute, that a crave cannot harm you, and that they are growing fewer and further apart with each passing day? Are you fueling the subconscious mind's belief that returning to the "real" you is a frightening and fearful thing to do? Are you breeding and fueling needless anxiety while having little or no memory or recall of the wonderful sense of calmness and lack of addiction chatter that occupied your mind prior to becoming nicotine's slave?

Do you miss destroying more air sacs with each and every puff or are you celebrating the freshness that now kisses healing lungs? Do you feed your mind romantic visions of purchasing or bumming the nicotine needed for relapse, or the truthful message of just one puff producing defeat, decay, destruction, disease and 50/50 chance of losing roughly 5,000 sunrises? Do you miss handing-over your hard earned money in order to remain chemically captive, or smile upon discovering the extra funds that your pockets somehow seem to produce?

Do you miss the lingering cloud of toxic smoke containing 44 known carcinogens, more than 500 gases, and 3,500 + chemical particles, or do you delight in the fact that oils upon your face again belong to you? Is your world saddened by not being able to crush an endless chain of hot chemically laden cigarette butts and pour mountains of butts from carcinogen rich ashtrays, or are you marveling in your new ash-free world that's clean, bright and refreshing? Is your cup half empty or is it half full? Our subconscious is listening and we are what we think - attitude is everything.

None of us are stronger than nicotine but then we don't have to be as nicotine is just a chemical and has an intelligence quotient (IQ) of zero. Knowledge is power! Don't be afraid of turning on the light. Embracing recovery is embracing "you!" Baby steps. The next few minutes are all that matter and each is entirely doable! There are lots of lessons to learn here at WhyQuit and Freedom but only one passing grade - no nicotine today - Never Take Another Puff!

"TRYING to quit" is an uncommitted declaration of leaving something behind.
Tell yourself recovery is HARD and unless you're lying it will be.
Believe your craves to be INTENSE and intense will be the ride.
Ponder excuses for a FIX and you'll eventually get to use them.
If you think you might RELAPSE, then relapse you just might.
If you keep telling yourself you will FAIL, then chances are you will.
If you WANT to be a ex-smoker, your mind has yet to heal.
Allow honest DREAMS to fuel recovery and freedom you shall find.
View this challenge as WONDERFUL and fulfillment will arrive.
See the GLORY of today, then glory it will be!
Praise the HEALING of your body and set your spirit free.
Inhale the JOYS of today, feel the spender of the journey.
Yet be TRUTHFUL of the past, to protect the here and now.
BELIEVE yourself a ex-smoker, an ex-smoker you shall see.
NEVER take another puff and freedom it will be!

Breathe deep, hug hard, live long
Last edited by John (Gold) on April 13th, 2009, 12:07 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Joined: January 16th, 2003, 8:00 am

March 28th, 2006, 9:16 pm #27

Last edited by Sal GOLD.ffn on April 13th, 2009, 12:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Joined: January 16th, 2003, 8:00 am

May 14th, 2006, 8:46 am #28

Do not allow yourself to romanticize smoking.
Replace those kinds of thoughts with the truth: smoking nicotine maims, tortures and kills both the smokers and their families.
Why did you quit? Have those reasons changed?
Celebrate your freedom, you are healing.

Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

August 30th, 2006, 7:32 pm #29

Last edited by JoeJFree Gold on April 13th, 2009, 12:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

November 5th, 2006, 10:21 pm #30

So this is non-smoking life? WOW
Last edited by Joel on April 13th, 2009, 12:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

November 18th, 2006, 2:35 am #31

Thanx joel. After reading Boy do I miss smoking I wanted to read Marty's story but couldn't. Both were fantastic. Made me think.

Right now, I am eating lunch at my desk, continuing to work so I can leave early today. There is absolutely NO WAY I could have done this 8 months ago. The second the clock struck 12 noon I was bombing down the stairs for a smoke. Then I would repeat after lunch. I could have never got enough work done to leave early.

Little things that add up.

Seven months, two weeks, six days, 4 hours, 36 minutes and 26 seconds. 9367 cigarettes not smoked, saving $2,575.65. Life saved: 4 weeks, 4 days, 12 hours, 35 minutes.

Joined: December 19th, 2008, 12:02 am

December 1st, 2006, 4:13 am #32

Thanks for bringing this to the top today! I was having a little weather related "thought" earlier. It's sleeting and snowing where I live and I was driving to pick up the kids early from school. I saw a man standing out in the sleet with a cutout trashbag over his head puffing away. I thought--now there's a good time...NOT. Now my weather related "thought" (couldn't even describe it as a trigger) was a prayer of thankfulness that I don't live like that any more. Sadly there was a time I would have been out in that sleet standing on my head juggling monkeys to get that fix. Not today and not for the last 98 days. Free. Whew...what a relief...

99 days

Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

December 7th, 2006, 11:12 pm #33

From above:

Make sure to read all the posts in this string. You have to stop fantasizing about how nice it would be to have a cigarette and really focus on what it was truly like to be a smoker. Not smoking will never be as good as the fantasy of smoking, but smoking will be a real nightmare compared to the fantasy life you are likely making up around smoking. See cigarettes for what they were and what they were doing and you will never question your initial decision to never take another puff!


Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

March 14th, 2007, 10:54 pm #34

Boy do I miss the heavily breathing after a short walk
Boy do I miss being unable to exercise 100%
Boy do I miss my yellow fingers
Boy do I miss my stinking breath
Boy do I miss my yellow eyes
Boy do I miss the hangover from nicotine in the morning
Boy do I miss my stinking home
Boy do I miss the stinking ashtrays
Boy do I miss the smell around me
Boy do I miss the walk 2 floors down and then outside to go and smoke 10 times per day while working
Boy do I miss the rain upon me smoking outside
Boy do I miss being the last person every afternoon on the buffet at work because I needed my fix first
Boy do I miss the humiliating looks of people while I was using
Boy do I miss my cold hands and feet
Boy do I miss my gray skin of my face
Boy do I miss my dirty notebook because of the tar
Boy do I miss my yellow walls and ceiling
Boy do I miss the withdrawal during flights
Boy do I miss the ahhhh after a long intercontinental flight which was no ahhh at all.
Boy do I miss my wrong decisions during meetings because I needed my fix
Boy do I miss the panic at night when I had only 5 left
Boy do I miss the long drive at night to a gas station which is open to buy nicotine
Boy do I miss the panic at night when my last lighter dies
Boy do I miss the long drive at night to a gas station which is open to buy a lighter
Boy do I miss that I've never seen a by bus or train from the inside
Boy do I miss that I've never seen a shopping center from the inside
Boy do I miss that I've never seen a by bus or train from the inside
Boy do I miss that I've never seen a smoke free restaurant from the inside
Boy do I miss the bad taste of food
Boy do I miss the bad taste of drinks
Boy do I miss the coughing in the morning
Boy do I miss throwing up sometimes during this coughing
Boy do I miss saying this coughing is because of a cold
Boy do I miss coughing during every physical activity
Boy do I miss my voice like I was 40 years older
Boy do I miss the little holes in my couch and clothes
Boy do I miss the little holes in the couches of friends
Boy do I miss the ash everywhere
Boy do I miss waking up in the middle of the night to get a fix
Boy do I miss the voice of my children begging me to quit
Boy do I miss the little burning wounds all over my body
Boy do I miss ash falling in my food while preparing it
Boy do I miss trying to convince quitters it's impossible.
Boy do I miss offering quitters cigarettes trying to keep them on my side
Boy do I miss the withdrawal state while trying to quit for the one hundred thousand million time.
Boy do I miss the garage during parties
Boy do I miss not being able to do nothing.
Boy do I miss not being able to lie in bed awake for more then 15 minutes
Boy do I miss not being able to relax
Boy do I miss the time spent on getting my fix.
Boy do I miss my money
Boy do I miss being impotent
Boy do I miss the hospital bed
Boy do I miss my family while staying in the hospital
Boy do I miss my father
Boy does my wife miss her father
Boy will my kids miss me
ehhhhh no I don't think I miss smoking
Frits (Bronze+)

Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

July 14th, 2007, 4:31 pm #35

This is so perfect! Who in their right mind would want to go back to a smokers life?
A few days ago, I had a 4 yr. ex smoker friend undermine my quit . She called me on the phone to see how my "battle" was going. I told her I didn't think of it as a "battle" but as a challenge to be embraced. She told me if quitting is stressful, I may as well smoke because stress is as harmful as smoking so why not go back to what I like & smoke? at least when I smoke I'm not stressed .
I said, "excuse me? am I hearing you right?"
She said all she was saying was that she wouldn't blame me if I decided to smoke again. She told me she liked smoking & the only reason she doesn't pick up a cigarette is the "time" she has acquired.
The good thing from this situation is that it made me take a stand for my quit! The more I thought about her advice the more I saw the "junkie" way of thinking & how my dear ex smoker friend was on a "dry drunk" so to speak.
I saw I differ from my ex smoker friend in that I do not look at my quit as a " battle" that has no hope, nothing gets better etc, I see my quit as fulfilling a dream I've wanted but thought I could never have. I view her "battle" as embracing challenges, gaining empowerment & self respect, enjoying freedom from a 30 year bondage, feel good about my accomplishment and seeing that I can do this and I am doing this!! My dreams of being an ex-smoker has come true., How exciting!!! Everyday there is something better or new that I never new existed while in my nicotine fog. Yes, I still have a few cravings or triggers to embrace but they are soooo worth embracing!

3 weeks, 3 days nicotine free
Declined 1,043 nicotine feedings
invested $182.44 rather than lost by the flick of a bic!
Never take another puff!