Being Honest About Our Addiction

Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 19:53

22 Jan 2003, 00:03 #11

Scary what we put our bodies through for just that one puff.I pray I never take another puff off a cigarette again.Reading these threads is the best thing that's happened to me.

thanks for educating me on this addiction

Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

11 May 2003, 01:01 #12

All I can think of while reading stories like these is. . .there but for the grace of God go I.

This is why we shouldn't call them scare tactics but instead truth tactics. The truth is that that one little cigarette is in a league with a gun pointed at my head in terms of catastrophic.

I saw an old friend yesterday with a pack of cigarettes. She doesn't smoke and I was horrified. We talked and apparently she is just a social smoker. I showed her this website, and then, fascinated, took the pack from her and stared at the cigarettes inside. It's been a while since I've touched a pack of cigarettes or a cigarette at all. I took one out of the pack to remember what it felt like in my hand. Do you know that I even put it in my mouth to remember? Please don't freak out, I didn't even want it, I just wanted to see what about it holding it and having it in my mouth I used to like so much.

There wasn't anything. It was the nicotine, the whole time. But if I hadn't known how addictive nicotine was and what a disaster it would be for me to light that cigarette up I might have done it, just to remember. And then it wouldn't be a memory anymore. It would be my reality.

Stories like these help so much when I start taking my quit lightly, seeing cigarettes and wondering what on earth could be so bad about them?

2 months 3 weeks 5 days

OBob Gold
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

11 May 2003, 02:53 #13

I even put the gun in my mouth just to see what it would feel like. Don't freak out, it wasn't loaded!
Okay, you freaked me out just a little, Alex.
Although, I do understand the curiosity, or the need to confront that drives such an action. From an old post of mine...
"We were playing pool, and a friend had her lit cigarette in the ash tray while she shot. I wasn't afraid of it any more, because I saw it for what it was. I picked it up, and looked at it. Saw the way the paper burned, and the way the gray smoke curled upward. Saw the brown stain on the end of the filter, where the poison enters the addict's mouth. I stared it down. I know what you are, I thought. Wasn't gloating; just acknowledging. I put it back down, and went and took my shot."

Last edited by OBob Gold on 12 Apr 2009, 06:12, edited 1 time in total.

OBob Gold
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

11 May 2003, 02:59 #14

To Joel's clinic participant...

There is no such thing as one. The only way to escape the **** that comes with our addiction is to choose one or the other. None or All.

None, like any difficult journey, is challenging in the very short-term. Give it its opportunity though, and you'll find out how very much prerferable it is over the long-term.

ImageBob (freed for 16 months)

janetd (GOLD)
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:59

11 May 2003, 08:29 #15

To Joel's clinic participant: Acknowledge how powerful nicotine is as a drug. See its ability to control us. And vow that you will beat it One Day at a Time by Never Taking Another Puff. You can do this!

yqs, Janet who Never Thought She Could Quit :)
One Year Five Months +

Tessie ISingANewSong
Joined: 12 Jan 2009, 23:31

12 May 2003, 08:01 #16

"OBob is correct when he says what makes this story even more tragic is that the person telling the story recommitted to smoking, finding a reason... maybe the stress over her brother's illness, maybe something else... to recommit to her addiction. We can only hope that she didn't burn her last chance to escape... "

ImageHi, I am Joel's Clinic Participant, my name is Tessie and I am the author of the story attached to OBobs message. I am constantly going to the Freedom Site, but I have been hesitant to post due to my past failures and I never in anyway want to compromise another persons quit when sharing my story. I don't want anyone to think that there is a good reason to take another puff, because there is no good reason to go back to smoking. This post was here for a reason, although I had not seen it when it was originally posted, I thought it was time to share with you.

My brother did pass away from emphysema at the age 49 on August 27th, 2002. It was a difficult time, I had just lost my brother, the last immediate family member other than myself. It was a devastating time.

This also made me the matriarch of my immediate family; children; grandchildren; and the person who others in the family would look up to as an example. Wow! Was that a scary thought.

OBob, I can only hope that I have not burned my last chance. I am back in full force with a new attitude. I am a nicotine addict and can never take another puff. By the way there is no such thing as another puff! I now look at and treat my nicotine addiction just as if it were a heroin, cocaine or an alcohol addiction. I can't afford to risk the thought of thinking any other way. Yes, I knew in my mind that I was an addict before, but I now know with all my heart and soul that I AM A NICOTINE ADDICT AND I AM HERE TO SAVE MY LIFE! I have a collage of pictures of my family that I keep in my purse and every time I think I have a desire for a cigarette, I take that picture out and look at it and remember the devastation and how a whole family has been lost to the addiction of nicotine and the diseases they cause. That one puff just doesn't carry the same fantasy as before.

As you have read in my original post the devastation smoking has caused to my family.
I quit smoking in January 2002 for almost three months and had a "minor" slip. I picked myself up and quit again a few weeks later. That quit lasted for a few weeks. Since then I have started the clinic two other times, starting my next clinic in September 2002, didn't even make it two days and now my last clinic began Tuesday, May 6, 2003. I actually stopped smoking before the clinic began on Monday, May 5, 2003. I intend for this to be my final quit and my success story.

I have the strength, the desire and the opportunity to keep this quit a success. Anyway, just wanted to check in and say hello and let you all know how I'm doing. I AM DOING GREAT!!!

Someone said we cannot save the world, only ourselves. This is true, but please know the impact that you make through the support you provide. This site is an inspiration and you never know what that impact will be; some little something written or some little something said. We make indelible footprints on the hearts of people everyday and may never know the true impact we might have on their lives.

OBob, you have been a great source of support and inspiration to me and to others as well. Keep up the good work!

And for my clinic instructor Joel. When I look at Joel, I see miracles. It is a blessing to be in Joel's clinic class. Joel is the inspiration that makes up believe that we can do this. That we can quit smoking! That we have a choice! That this is an addiction and to treat it like an addiction! The best teacher and support system you can find!

OBob, Joel and everyone, I am here because of those indelible footprints on the heart. Thanks!


AND I WILL BE SUCESSFUL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

12 May 2003, 09:50 #17

Tessie. . .that is beautiful.

Thank you for sharing your story with us. Far from threatening my quit, your lesson of one=all has strengthened me. You can do this and we are so glad that you are here.

3 months 3 weeks 7 days

Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

12 May 2003, 10:15 #18

Hello Tessie:
I am glad to see you back. I was also glad to see you at the clinic. Just for the record, for our newer members reading here, Tessie lost her past quit with Freedom back in August. In November, Freedom made a major decision and altered our relapse policy. Any member who relapsed after November would lost their ability to post at Freedom. The string Good news, our members don't relapse anymore talks about this policy. I know Tessie already understands our reasoning for this, and was in fact nervous about posting here again so as not to undercut any one elses efforts. She didn't want people to feel that if they were to relapse that they would casually think that they could just join up again and just quit again. Byt again, we have worked out an accommodation insuring no one ever works with this kind of assumption again.
Here is the statement I attached in the thread Good news, our members don't relapse anymore that explains the advantages of our change:
Freedom's New
No Relapse Policy
Freedom's relapse policy is about to undergo additional evolution. Athought every visitor to the site will have 100% access to Freedom's over 130,000 archived posts, to Joel's entire library and to all of our resources at WhyQuit, any future relapse will disqualify that member from again participating in the group. The rule applies across the board, to me as well as you. Not only will this destroy any junkie thinking that my mind might have been able to muster in time of crisis about being able to return, the new policy will not permit me to return if I should relapse.
Not only is there no legitimate excuse for relapse at Freedom, there is no relapse at Freedom. This isn't a matter of asking members to value their group participation and use that as justification for not relapsing. That's akin to a quit crutch. It's a matter of asking each of us to value this forum as a serious site, to honor the principles upon which its built, and to respect the right of others to find sanctuary in one little corner of the earth where nicotine has no voice.
If any of you have questions about our new policy please send us an email. Thanks!
Freedom's Managers

All of Freedom's management team thought this one out long and hard. This policy may seem intimidating to someone just thinking about applying. But for our existing members this policy should pose no threat or inconvenience. After all, the primary vow that people have when joining up at Freedom, and the primary principle that keeps our members nicotine free is the promise that each and every makes to himself or herself each and every day not to take a puff. As long as this promise was made in good faith, if each and every member keeps the promise he or she has nothing to be afraid of.
We want people first thinking of applying though to think long and hard of whether we are in fact the best support group to sign up for. If a person does not feel totally one hundred percent committed to make this quit be the last quit he or she is ever planning on having to make, he or she might be better off exploring other support groups before joining in. As John has stated, a person lurking has access to all of the materials at, my library and even the Freedom message board itself. The only difference is that members can post and non-members cannot.
This policy offers up two big advantages. The first is to the group as a whole. Every person coming here is now guaranteed that the board is always going to be focused on people who are successfully off smoking. There will be no need to spend time consoling relapses or trying to help a person rationalize a relapse. Again we had the advantages of that principle already covered in our There is no legitimate reason to relapse thread.
But the primary benefactor of this policy is each and every member himself or herself. We have made it very easy for each and every member to have a clearly defined spelled out battle line. No longer does a person have the luxury of thinking, "Well if I relapse, I'll go to Freedom and quit again." We have in effect destroyed what to some people can be a very persuasive argument supporting a kind of junkie thinking.
Again, for the majority of people here this policy poses no threat and makes the each and every members mission here that much more clearly defined. It was what their intent was the day they first signed up to Freedom. To stay a member of Freedom, and more important, to keep the health and life saving benefits of staying a successful ex-smoker is as simple now as just remembering to stay totally committed to never take another puff!
Last edited by Joel on 12 Apr 2009, 06:14, edited 1 time in total.

Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

21 Apr 2005, 00:17 #19

My grandfather died of emphysema five years ago, my aunt has had both feet amputated and my uncle had 4 heart attacks before he and my aunt (a different aunt) quit smoking. You would think this sort of family health background would wake a person up, but I too was so in denial with my junkie logic that I refused to acknowledge these were real possible outcomes (and still our) in my future. This is an important reality thread to bring up for everyone, no matter what stage of their quit. Thanks for the reminder hurts my soul to think that such a lethal drug is not only legal, but that people can actually sell it and sleep at night. I KNOW I will NTAP.

Lisa - Free and Healing for Twenty Three Days, 11 Hours and 57 Minutes, while extending my life expectancy 23 Hours, by avoiding the use of 282 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me $49.39.

Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

21 Apr 2005, 11:29 #20

Wow ... this thread really made my heart pound. We are all only one drag away from returning to the painful cycle of sickness, addiction and death. A sobering reminder as I sometimes get cocky in my relatively newfound comfort as a nonsmoker.

Anyone who still thinks smoking is a "habit" should read this, then read it again. Powerful stuff.