Acknowledge the negative--but dwell on the positive

Acknowledge the negative--but dwell on the positive

Joel
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

07 Apr 2002, 23:08 #1

It's amazing how many people do the exact opposite of this when it comes to life in general and smoking cessation in particular. If you dwell on the positive side of not smoking you will stay forever resolute to never take another puff!



Joel


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Last edited by Joel on 11 Sep 2015, 13:50, edited 4 times in total.
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mirigirl (silver)
Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:00

07 Apr 2002, 23:25 #2


ACKNOWLEDGE THE NEGATIVE - BUT DWELL ON THE POSITIVE

love this - thank you Joel - yet again - this saying has helped me so many times - wish I knew how to make it into a bumper sticker!!:-))

yqs mirigirl

Three months, one week, 1 hour, 35 minutes and 2 seconds free and healing

2426 cigarettes not smoked, saving $873.97. Life saved: 1 week, 1 day, 10 hours, 10 minutes.
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wcsdancer (Gold)
Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:29

08 Apr 2002, 00:39 #3

Joel, I thought about this a while and the thing is...I can't think of any negatives related to quitting smoking? The way your life improves without smoking is overwhelming. EVERYTHING is better. I can't imagine relapse because I wouldn't want to give up all the great things I've added to my life becoming smoke free. It has improved my relationships, my health (in hundreds of ways), my self esteem, my bank account, my appearance, and my future. Who would want to give up all of that?!? Certainly not me Image!
Forever grateful,
*Candy*
4 Months 4 Weeks 1 Day 13 Hours 42 Minutes 17 Seconds. Cigarettes not smoked: 1794. Money saved: $403.84.
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Joel
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

08 Apr 2002, 00:50 #4

Hello Candy:

People still get occasional thoughts for cigarettes after they quit. The first few days people are having actual physical side effects. The first few weeks people are having awkward moments of not knowing how to start an activity or how to finish an activity or how to move on to a new activity without smoking. These can all be real effects and considered "negative" by the person.

But when contrasted by the overwhelming majority of positive reations from quitting, these negatives pale in comparrison. I just don't want people to think that it is easy for a person like you to stay off because all you feel is good when at the time they may still feel some sadness or remorse. They too can stay off and likely feel better overall if they follow the advise here of acknowledging the negative and dwell on the positive. If they do this over time the negatives will eventually almost cease to exist and the positives will continue to accumulate and they will stay on this path as long as they know to never take another puff!

Joel
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Roger (Gold)
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

08 Apr 2002, 01:38 #5

Good Post Joel,

This is so true in life. I have always been a positive person throughout my life except when it came to beating my addiction for so many years. I spent my entire life trying to convince my children this one principle.
If The Mind Can Conceive It
Then Believe It,
YOU CAN ACHIEVE IT.
Where would we be as a society today if so many of our reasearchers, doctors, inventors and visionaries believed they could not conquer disease or land a man on the moon. I hate to think all of the what ifs.
It took me over 35 years to believe in myself enough to quit. Better late than never I guess.
Roger
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wcsdancer (Gold)
Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:29

08 Apr 2002, 01:51 #6

Joel, now I see exactly what you mean. I must say that it wasn't easy to quit or to go through the first couple of months. And I do still have intermitent challenges. But the cravings, triggers, and urges, have proven to me the seriousness of this addiction.

My gratitude for overcoming this horrible addiction overrrides any of the negatives tugging at me. I do face them, examine them, conquer them, and then remind myself that they occur due to healing. The hardest moments also brought me the greatest sense of accomplishment when I worked through them. I've gotten use to seeing the "negatives" as positives....proof of healing and reasons to stay free of nicotine.

I'm always grateful when a newbie admits their pain and struggles. It reminds those of us with more comfort where we came from and where we are to return if taking just one puff. I hope all new quitters will realize that it really doesn't take very long to start collecting the enormous benefits of a nicotine free life. And my wish for us all is that we hang on to this freedom for dear life.

Thanks for throwing us the life rafts! *Candy*
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improud (golder)
Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:00

08 Apr 2002, 08:42 #7

Joel i wish I could be as positive in other areas of my life as I am about this quit and never taking another puff.
Cathy ~ GOLD CLUB
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SweetLorraine (Gold)
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:59

08 Apr 2002, 11:17 #8

Hi Joel, Love the post acknowledge the negative but dwell on the positive - attitude does make a huge difference.

I can attest that I quit for all the wrong reasons, but I was determined to suceed and sought information to help me quit for as long as necessary then I planned to go back to "enjoying" myself smoking.

With that attitude quitting wasn't all that much fun. Slight understatement - but once free of nicotine and able to absorb small amounts of education and brand new sets of ah hahs began happening . Image I'd never considered myself a nicotine addict but I saw my future in the isolation of the widowed smoker and I loathed the image. Who wants to acknowledge that they are as appealing as a dirty ashtray? But essentially that is what I had done to my body. Once free of nicotine I was able to evaluate my own addiction a bit more realistically.

Looking at smoking without the smoke screen there's no rational reason to ever take a single puff. Having achieved that insight - pitefully obvious to a sane person but a completely incomprehensible notion to an actively using addict - then the question becomes not should I quit or how can I stay quit but how to I make this the best possible experience? I look for all the good things about quitting I emphasize the benefits and minimize the negatives - what negatives? There really aren't any drawbacks to quitting - it's a classic win-win move.

Thanks for taking the time to educate all of us.

yqf Lorraine
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LA 1
Joined: 09 Jan 2009, 00:32

08 Apr 2002, 13:50 #9

Joel,

How very much I appreciate your knowledge and insight regarding the power and intricacies of this addiction. I love the title of this "post" and all that it stands for...thankfully, you are not advocating the unrealistic "rose-coloured glasses" technique. Rather, you are encouraging each of us to acknowledge the challenges, and focus on the "good" that lies on the other side of them. The power of having made it through to the other side of our challenges (whatever they may be) is indescribable. Challenge...grow. I think that's a life theme.

I continue to be very grateful for your understanding of the quit process. Earlier in this thread you stated,
The first few weeks people are having awkward moments of not knowing how to start an activity or how to finish an activity or how to move on to a new activity without smoking.
Exactly! I'm feeling pretty good today...but I know this process/challenge of learning how to live as a non-smoker will continue to take some time. It's great to know you are out there guiding us along!

Laura
Two weeks, two days, 1 hour, 17 minutes and 30 seconds. 321 cigarettes not smoked, saving $115.58. Life saved: 1 day, 2 hours, 45 minutes.
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Geo (Gold)
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:59

29 Aug 2002, 07:33 #10

Hello,
One thing that helped me to dwell on the positive through the hardest times is my quit meter. That little row of numbers at the bottom of my screen. I watched those numbers tick by, every one of them a major accomplishment! One hour, one day, one more week gone by without a cigarette and getting always easier. It is amazing how fast the numbers go by. They helped me to focus on what I was getting instead of what I was giving up. The quit meter is a great tool I highly recommend it.
I once wrote a list of the pro's and con's of smoking. The only pro I could think of was that it fed my addiction!
Staying positive is the way to go! Thanks again Joel.
Geo
One year, eleven months, four days!
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