4 Decades Of Lies! (First Post Journal)

LLJ
Joined: 26 Feb 2011, 20:31

11 Apr 2011, 19:47 #61

Neal,Brilliant, just brilliant.
I saved a copy of your story on my laptop. So powerful, so insightful...I know I will be reading your words often. 
Congratulations on becoming BRONZE!!! In the words of Billy Crystal, "You look mahvelous!"
Lara 

48 days of freedom and healing! 
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Joined: 14 Jan 2011, 00:33

14 Apr 2011, 19:00 #62

Thank you Jeff, Lisa, Craig, Laura, Wendy, Endura, Stella, and Lara. You really made turning bronze a party to remember. Your kind words and thoughts always touch me. Keep it where it belongs, on the outside. YQB Neal - Quit all the lies on 1/9/11.
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Joined: 19 Jan 2009, 10:37

14 Apr 2011, 22:36 #63

Hi Neal
Sorry I'm late - been away.
Congratulations on getting to the three month mark. Six months and a year will follow for you too, I'm sure. You know now that we lived a lie and that education makes all the difference.
Enjoy the new you.

All the best
Doc


Quit date 14th October 2008
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Joined: 14 Jan 2011, 00:33

15 Apr 2011, 20:01 #64

Doc,
No worries, your not late, I'm looking forward to celebrating Bronze for the next three months, each and every day. Neal
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Joined: 14 Jan 2011, 00:33

02 May 2011, 21:06 #65

I'm one week short of 4 months. Time has been flying, it seems like I turned bronze yesterday. Each day has been uneventful on my journey to Freedom. I still come on the site often, but not as much as I used to. I noticed on my quit meter that I have saved $560 so far. I'm getting paid to feel good!! I like reading the journals and supporting the newer members as time allows. I don't want to forget what quitting was like in the early days. Hope everyone has a great nicotine free day. NTAP. Neal
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Joined: 14 Jan 2011, 00:33

09 May 2011, 16:28 #66

After over four decades of being a slave to nicotine, today I reach four months of Freedom. With spring and summer upon us I still occasionally have smoking thoughts as I encounter situations for the first time as a non-smoker. These thoughts literally only last one or two seconds, as I quickly replace them with "none today, one = all, or NTAP". I have really been enjoying all the extra time, money, and energy I have since getting rid of all the nicotine. I don't ever want to go back to where I was. Neal - Quit all the lies on 1/9/11
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Joined: 12 Jan 2011, 17:39

09 May 2011, 21:01 #67

Neal, you are doing a great job being an example for others as well as providing support.  Thank you for your commitment to NTAP!

Jeff - four months and one day Nicotine Free (121 days)
Since: 1-8-2011
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Joined: 14 Jan 2011, 00:33

16 Jun 2011, 16:28 #68

I got hit with some shocking news between the 4th and 5th month of my quit.  The good news is that I have remained, and will remain nicotine free.  5/24 - During a routine Doctor's visit I mentioned a swollen lymph node on my neck.  I had an ultrasound performed on my neck.  6/2 - I was experiencing shortness of breath and had a chest X-Ray performed and a C.T. scan performed to follow up on the ultrasound.  6/3 - The chest x-ray showed my left lung had a tumor and the chest cavity was filling with fluid, the CT scan showed small nodules around my lymph node and thyroid, I was admitted to the hospital.  6/3 , 6/4 - A barrage of addition tests were peformed, they did C.T. scans all over my body looking for any additional spreading of the cancer.  The fluid was drained from around my left lung, and a biopsy was permormed on the fluid as well as one of the tumors found in my belly.  I remained in the hospital for an additional week while they continued draining fluid from my lung and awaited results from the biopsys.  It turned out to be originating in my left lung and had spread to my lymph  nodes and stomach.  It is non-operable since it has already spread around my body, they called it Stage 4 Lung cancer (non small cell type) 6/11, 6/12 - Had to go back to the hospital, I had sever shortness of breath from my swollen stomach, they took a new CT scan  and found the cancer had grown significantly in the 9 days since they last scanned it.  They were already mentioning a hospice. 6/13 Recieved my first (very large) dose of chemotherapy and was released to home heath care.
Needless to say, there were a lot of emotions and preparations for me to deal with.  I wanted to continue to post my experiences in the hopes of helping people on here .  We have to always be vigilant and realize the deadlyness of this addiction we are fighting  I don't want any of you to experience the feeling I now get when my 9 year old daughter looks to me with all the Love in her eyes's.  I have no idea of what the future holds for me, I know because of the great people on this sight that I will face my future as a non-smoker. I thought after all these decades that I actually had the cigarette addiction beat, but it looks like it will win in the long run by taking my life much faster than it should have.  I will continue to post as I can.
Neal    Quit the lies on 1/9/2011
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Joined: 23 Jan 2011, 04:09

16 Jun 2011, 17:03 #69

Neal,I am so very sorry to hear about your news.  Please know that you are in my prayers.  There are a few members on here whom I feel a bond with and you are one of those people.  My quit brother, regardless of what happens know that yesterday, today and tomorrow you are an inspiration.  Please get better.
Your quit sister,
Laura I too quit the lies 01/17/2011
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Joined: 18 Jan 2009, 06:57

16 Jun 2011, 17:39 #70

Neal,

My thoughts and prayers are with you today.  I am so sorry your health has taken a sudden and unexpected turn for the worse.  These last few weeks have for sure been terribly stressful and you again prove that nicotine has no place in our lives when dealing with even the toughest circumstances we can encounter.  I'm hoping the chemo treatments can turn your disease and diagnosis around 180 degrees.  I hope also you are well enough soon to get out and feel the wind on your face on a ride in the afternoon sun.

With you in spirit.

Joe J
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LLJ
Joined: 26 Feb 2011, 20:31

16 Jun 2011, 17:59 #71

Neal,You are an incredibly brave and strong person. Please don't give up. 
Your beautiful story of breaking free and uncovering the real you inspires me every day! I am thinking of you and praying for your health. 
Much love to you. 
Your Quit Sister,
Lara
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Joined: 19 Jan 2009, 10:37

16 Jun 2011, 18:45 #72

Wishing you all the best Neal.
Keep positive and strong.

All the very best
Doc


Quit date 14th October 2008
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Mia
Joined: 20 Jan 2011, 20:23

17 Jun 2011, 01:06 #73

Hi Nick,
Thank you for sharing. You and your family are in my thoughts.  I am thinking of you all.
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CWZ
Joined: 19 Jan 2009, 23:49

17 Jun 2011, 15:29 #74

Thank you for posting, Neal. I so wish things were different as my eyes well up. Praying for you and yours. Nicotine free and Free is the way to be! Always will be just one answer to nicotine, "None Today!"

CWZ Gold x 3
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Joined: 15 Jan 2011, 18:31

17 Jun 2011, 20:31 #75

Neal ,

 So sorry to hear , you and I both 40 yr.smokers - quitters at the same time . I'm cheering for you buddy ........

Craig
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Joined: 03 Apr 2011, 00:58

18 Jun 2011, 05:41 #76

Neal,
I am sorry to hear that. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. You are an inspiration to the rest of us by sharing your journey.
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Joined: 13 Mar 2011, 23:37

18 Jun 2011, 15:32 #77

I am so sorry, Neal, to hear this news.  On the other hand, I'm so glad that you are still nicotine free even amidst these troubles.  You are a brave man for posting this news.  Just know that it may help someone who hasn't fed their addiction for as long as we have to make the decision to stop today.  Take care of yourself - you are in my thoughts today. Stella - Free and Healing for Three Months, Eleven Days, 11 Hours and 46 Minutes. I have not smoked 2070 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me $623.59.
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Joined: 23 May 2011, 03:14

18 Jun 2011, 16:25 #78

Neal, you and your family are in my prayers.  Your situation is my worst fear really.  I smoked for over 20 years and finally I am an ex-smoker for life.  FINALLY, I have beat this addiction and you have too.  Stay strong brother.
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Joined: 12 Jan 2011, 17:39

18 Jun 2011, 18:21 #79

Hi Neal,
You are going through what all of us long time smokers fear the most.  Your attitude is an inspiration to all who may read your post.

Just remember that you have supported and inspired many newbies to get and stay nicotine free.  That is part of your legacy and something to be really proud of.

Your Quit Brother,
Jeff
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Joined: 05 Jan 2011, 00:09

18 Jun 2011, 18:59 #80

Neal,
I am overwhelmed to hear of your news.  Your courage is a miracle and I only hope you know how much it gives all of us.  Yes, you are going through something all of us fear - and we all know any one of us could be in your place. It has always been apparent how deep and dear your heart is.  Keep your hope high.  I will be praying for you, and praying for your daughter.

Many, many warm hugs,
Lisa
quit 1-1-11 and so proud to be Neal's quit sister 
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Joined: 27 Jan 2011, 18:11

21 Jun 2011, 19:16 #81

God bless you, Neal. I'll be praying for you.
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Joined: 26 Jan 2011, 00:57

21 Jun 2011, 22:07 #82

God bless you and your family, know that you are all in my prayers.

Endura
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Joined: 11 Nov 2008, 19:22

23 Jun 2011, 02:40 #83

Neal, Joel produced the following video clip that we hope brings you comfort.  There's two links because YouTube for some reason appears to again be limiting clips to ten minutes.  As I wrote earlier, we're each with you in spirit and you're in our prayers.   John

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Joined: 05 Jan 2011, 00:09

30 Jun 2011, 23:57 #84

Neal,
I think of you every day.  I hope you are healing, and your soul is happy.  You are brave.  Tomorrow I turn silver and I dedicate the last 6 month of my recovery and freedom to you.  

Your sister in freedom,
Lisa
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Joined: 07 Jun 2011, 02:32

06 Jul 2011, 02:19 #85

Hi Neal, I am beyond words with how sad I am to have read your story; I had just started reading your posts from the beginning for some reason, and then I read about your diagnosis. I tell you, I've never met you but if I had a magic genie grant me just one wish for my whole life, I would ask that the clock be turned back for you. I promise to uphold you and your family, your daughter and all the others who love you, in prayer, and I will share your story as needed with anyone who has shown as much strength and fortitude in the face of hardship. And by the way, you said the addiction will win by taking your life early. NO. You win, please believe that, because you are not smoking or trying to smoke as you go through this. You still win, and your story will change lives. I know it.  Prayers for you, may you feel strengthened and believe that God can comfort and carry you now.  -Sylvia, healing for 33 days now after 25 years of nicotine addiction.
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