4 Decades Of Lies! (First Post Journal)

Joined: 13 Nov 2008, 14:04

01 Feb 2011, 16:59 #21

Last edited by Joel Spitzer on 01 Feb 2011, 17:32, edited 1 time in total.
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Joined: 13 Nov 2008, 14:04

01 Feb 2011, 17:00 #22

Last edited by Joel Spitzer on 01 Feb 2011, 17:33, edited 1 time in total.
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Joined: 01 Feb 2011, 23:13

05 Feb 2011, 03:29 #23

Hi Neal.  I also am a big gardener.  I have not smoked inside of the house for almost five years, so quitting while staying inside has been relatively easy.  Over the last few days I have been venturing outdoors and I have also been hit by quite a few strong cravings.  Like you, I am trying to recognize them for what they are and embracing them. 

Keep up the good work.

Kelly - One week, 8 hours, 48 minutes. 162 cigarettes not smoked, saving $52.67. Life saved: 13 hours, 30 minutes.
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Joined: 14 Jan 2011, 00:33

09 Feb 2011, 11:21 #24

I can’t believe tonight will be a whole month without using any nicotine. I have quit smoking for a month several times before, but this is so different. My past quit attempts left me addicted to other nicotine delivery devices. Leading up to this quit I had been addicted to nicotine lozenges for over a year, I used them and smoked cigarettes constantly. When I couldn’t have a cigarette I would have a lozenge in my mouth. Occasionally I would smoke cigars, I tried the e-cigarettes, the inhalers, the gum, the patch, and I even tried oral tobacco to break up the routine. ( It was a real nicotine addicts heaven, but in reality it was ****).

Before finding this site I thought I was accomplishing something by giving up the cigarettes, but all the time I would still be on the lozenges, or some other form of nicotine. I was in a state of constant withdrawal. This time, in my first week of quitting cigarettes, I went online for support and found Why Quit.com.

After a few days of reading and watching the videos I decided to really go for it. I threw away the lozenges and stopped using all nicotine on January 9, 2011 at 11:00PM E.S.T. I downloaded a quit counter and set it to zero. Now, faster than I could have dreamed, it is at 1 month of nicotine freedom.

I originally named my first post journal “ 4 Decades Of Lies” because I have been smoking for over 40 years. The lies I was talking about was aimed at the tobacco and pharmaceutical companies, and the government for letting them do all that lying to us. After working this program for the last month I came to realize that I was doing the lying to myself for all those years. I never “liked” or “loved” smoking, cigarettes were not my friend, it was not O.K. to substitute NRT for cigarettes and think I was doing myself a big favor (it always lead me back to smoking anyway), I thought smoking was a bad habit, I told myself I wasn’t addicted, it was alright to have just one while I was trying to quit. I thought I couldn’t live without smoking, I would never be able to quit for the long haul, nicotine feedings were not my #1 priority, I could never go a whole day without wanting a cigarette, and one of my favorites - you have to die from something, why not smoking? Etc. Etc. Etc. They were all lies to keep me feeding myself nicotine.

I have learned so much on this site. I really believe that this time, I will be able to make the transition to become an ex-smoker / recovering nicotine addict once and for all. I couldn’t have come to this realization without the wisdom and support of all the veterans of this site. I have been amazed at the wisdom of the people who have come before me. It is great that you continue to motivate and support all the newbie’s like me. Whenever I think of you Guys a saying comes to my mind: ASPIRE TO INSPIRE BEFORE YOU EXPIRE. You all have INSPIRED me, eventually as I learn more, I will ASPIRE to help new members with their quits like you do, and since we’ve all quit this addiction we will not EXPIRE as soon as we would have.

At this point in my quit it really helps me to just read a little each day, and strengthen my resolve for that day to not take a single puff. My urges are now very weak and don’t come very much anymore. They are easy to handle, but I know I have to always have my guard up.

Today I got some news about a Guy I used to work with. He left the company last year. It turns out that he got diagnosed with a lesion on his lung in December 2010. He was an active smoker for many years, and he still smoked when he quit the company. He passed away in January of 2011, the cancer spread to his liver and other organs. If he was waiting to “bottom out” before quitting he only had one month of life left after he first heard the news. There but for the grace of God go I, it shows how serious we all have to take our quits, we are truly fighting for our lives.

I’m sorry to be so long winded but it is my quit, my life, my journal, and my Green anniversary. I’m very proud to be a member of this group. Keep taking it one day at a time. NTAP

YQB Neal
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Joined: 15 Jan 2011, 18:31

09 Feb 2011, 12:38 #25

Welcome to green , it's a GOOD feeling isn't it !
Congratulations !!!
Craig
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Joined: 12 Jan 2011, 17:39

09 Feb 2011, 14:26 #26

Great job, Neal!

It is important to recognize (as you have) where the lies really come from.  I too was a great big liar, but no longer.

We are on this journey together and I hope to look over and see you at every step.

Bronze is next, here we go....

Join me in not smoking today...NTAP!

Jeff - 1 month, 1 day nicotine free
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Joined: 05 Jan 2011, 00:09

11 Feb 2011, 22:59 #27

Congratulations on GREEN Neal.  Your quit has been a triumphant story.  Keep going. 
I am 42 days quit and I with you in the journey - discovering many of the same things - through reading on this site.  I am also so grateful to the people here.  They are giving us all hope and life.

YQS
Lisa
quit 1-1-11
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Joined: 13 Sep 2010, 17:47

12 Feb 2011, 04:41 #28

I am so glad you are standing tall and proud of the work you have put in, the knowledge you have taken and the resolve to pay it forward. I understand. I feel the same way. We have so much to be thankful for. The good folks here are first and foremost! WE LOVE YOU ALL! It is so nice to be in control of our lives. We never knew we weren't! LOL, but it feels so much better being free!

I am sorry about your former co-worker. Someone close to me has a sister facing radiation this month. Cancer of the lung. yes, she smoked. She did quit in the fall right before diagnosis. She must have known something was really wrong. If that is bottoming out it sounds horrible and a little too late! We will see this as the years pass, not all of us get out clean and free. Be a success story, that is all you can do. Best wishes as you celebrate and work 0n double green!!!!
Terri - free and healing since September 5th 2010
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Joined: 14 Jan 2011, 00:33

14 Feb 2011, 21:17 #29

Thanks everyone for your kind words. Today is day 36 and I haven't been having any real problems. I have been feeling tired more than I used to, but I'm sure that will change in time. I worked in the yard again this weekend, and I didn't have any cravings. Joel was right again. I'm really building confidence and pride in my quit. No nicotine today!
Neal
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Joined: 18 Jan 2009, 06:57

14 Feb 2011, 22:34 #30

Hi Neal,

I'm a little late but wanted to congratulate you on surpassing one month of freedom form nicotine.  I was also a 40 year user who mostly inhaled the choking smoke.  I too used oral tobacco and pharmaceutical as well to 'stop smoking' - all the while not realizing that it wasn't the cigarettes but what was inside that was ailing me.  Needless to say I had quite the eye opening the day I stumbled upon whyquit and the Freedom forum.  I call it an 'A-Ha!' moment when the reality of the Cycle of Addiction in my own life made me realize both the problem and the cure.  The cycle of addiction is incessant and the only way to make it stop is to disconnect the cycle by not having that next dose.  Once the cycle is broken we begin to live clean and free naturally.  Soon enough we move away from the ever-present impact that nicotine dependency had on our lives.  Our world no longer revolves around that next dose.  We learn that there is a lot more to life than living from the inside of a pack of tobacco sticks that deliver nicotine.  Living free is the best thing we can do and it comes naturally as long as we keep our personal promise to not take another puff, no matter what, for the rest of today.

I know what you mean about being tired from working at home.  I spent most of the day yesterday removing a 3 to 6 inch sheet of ice from my driveway.  I am sore and tired today but it's a good kind of tired.  Smoking - or not - had nothing to do with it.  It will become that way for you too.

Becoming an ex-smoker

Joe J Free - Gold x 6 - a nicotine addict who stopped inhaling poison 6 years, 1 month, 4 days, 7 hours, 18 minutes and 41 seconds (2226 days) ago.


I've decided not to ingest 60110 deadly doses and saved $19,788.36 in my 'Freedom Dividend' account.
I've reclaimed 417 days, 10 hours and 22 minutes of my life's time, the best part of this gift I give to myself each and every day I choose to NTAP!
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Joined: 14 Jan 2011, 00:33

21 Feb 2011, 17:07 #31

1 month and 12 days! (Clean and Green) Made it fine thru another weekend, I've been fighting a cold for awhile, probably why I.ve been feeling tired. I didn't spend any time on the computer this whole weekend. The first time I went more than a day without reading on Why Quit or FFN. I haven't had any real temptations to use nicotine in quite awhile, just some occasional thoughts, and I pretty much laugh them away. I'm trying to figure out if I'm reaching the acceptance stage yet. I feel that my quit is very strong, and I'm really starting to look at myself as an ex-smoker, not as a smoker who is trying to quit. Maybe it is too early in my quit to feel this way, but it sure feels good each day to not use any nicotine. I read the journals of the long time quitters, and I admire the freedom and peace of mind that they have found. I soooo much want to experience what they have found, rather than ever going back to being a slave to this addiction. No nicotine today. NTAP
YQB Neal
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Joined: 12 Jan 2011, 17:39

21 Feb 2011, 17:19 #32

Hi Neal, each passing day brings us closer to the comfort we seek.  As recently as a week or so ago it was still difficult to imagine feeling really comfortable as a non-smoker - it still took some effort to just stay clean.

Like you I do have thoughts of ingesting nicotine but they are not overwhelming, easily laughed off as you say.  But just in the last couple of days I can actually see a time when I will be truly comfortable.  That is an exciting prospect!

Just one rule, no nicotine on the inside...NTAP!

Jeff - one month and thirteen days Nicotine Free
Since: 1-8-2011
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Joined: 26 Jan 2011, 00:57

21 Feb 2011, 21:34 #33

Thank you for sharing turning green with me, Neal! And look at you! Oh you should be so proud too! Like you, I am laughing now at the random smoking thoughts that pop up out of nowhere! I guess they will stop as they are getting nowhere fast. There is no way I would ever give in to a useless lie and that's what they are and I'll bet you are with me on that one, too.. And hey....we are an EX-SMOKERS because we already DID quit! We would have to make a conscious decision to BECOME smokers again by using nicotine. And that is never gonna happen! It gets more comfortable everyday. Just one rule: No nicotine today.
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Joined: 23 Jan 2011, 04:09

21 Feb 2011, 22:16 #34

Neal,
I read your journal and I was very inspired.  I read the one you wrote in the BIGGER font and it really hit home.  I am glad to join you being green so can't wait to see you in bronze, silver and eventually gold.  We'll get there one day at a time.  I enjoyed your journal.
Laura
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Joined: 05 Jan 2011, 00:09

23 Feb 2011, 12:50 #35

Neal,
Thank you for your thoughtfulness posting on my journal - and for quoting me back to myself!  You are right, I do not believe that has happened before, and it really made me smile - it sounded so cool.

You are honest and real in your journal - I believe you strive for a strong, eternally successful quit.   I enjoy reading your words and glad you are on this journey.

Lisa
quit 1-1-11 and smiling
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Joined: 27 Jan 2011, 18:11

24 Feb 2011, 00:43 #36

Congrats Neal, and excellent work. I also feel a little extra inspiration from those who were much heavier and longer term smokers than me. You are a great witness!
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Joined: 14 Jan 2011, 00:33

01 Mar 2011, 16:06 #37

I reached 1 month and 3 weeks last night, cruising towards double green. I'm just starting to get over the chest cold I've been fighting for the last 3 weeks. I'm really feeling good about my quit, and it is getting easier each day. I occasionally get smoking thoughts, but I understand where they are coming from and how to deal with them. These thoughts are coming less and less as I face more situations as a non-smoker. After 42 years of being a nicotine slave it feels so good to be getting a taste of freedom.I have never felt this strong or this good in any of my previous quit attempts. The information and people at this site is amazing, if you want to shine the light of truth on all the lies you've been telling yourself, then keep reading all you can at WhyQuit and FFN. NTAP
Neal
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Joined: 14 Jan 2011, 00:33

06 Mar 2011, 20:17 #38

Well, I went to a smoker's funeral this last week. She was almost 79 years old, but I guarantee you she would have lived longer if she didn't smoke from a young age until the day she died. Her sister (who never smoked) was there and looked like she could easily live another 20 years. I did experience some cravings as this was the first funeral since I quit. Right now I am camping, I arrived yesterday and the entire day was full of triggers and thoughts about smoking. I didn't realize how much smoking was a part of camping. Of course I came to realize that camping can still be fun without smoking. I can do anything as a non-smoker that I did as a smoker, sometimes even better. Well today is my second day camping and the thoughts and triggers are much better and less frequent. I hope my last day of camping will be free of any cravings. I'm currently relaxing outside my RV overlooking the lake, enjoying the Florida sunshine and my Journey to Freedom. I'm writing this post on my cell phone. In three days when I'm done camping, I will be able to say that I have not poisoned myself with nicotine for two months. YQB Neal
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Joined: 23 Jan 2011, 04:09

07 Mar 2011, 21:54 #39

Neal,I hope that your last day of camping was as you wished it to be.  Great job not falling back into the grips of nicotine.  Its crazy how one day you won't even think about cigarettes and the next day something happens to bring on that trigger.  Well every time I face one of those afterwards I think that I have just made my quit that much stronger.  Wait to go, keep up the awesome job.  NTAP
Laura
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Joined: 14 Jan 2011, 00:33

09 Mar 2011, 18:59 #40

Thanks Laura,
It's amazing that encountering new activities could have such an effect. I think this is one of the many important things I learned here. I totally agree with you that encountering and overcoming this triggers gives more strengh to your quit. My last day of camping was no problem, very little thoughts of smoking. I know the next time I go camping it will be much easier, that's the beauty of retraining your subconsious. Most of the times that I get thoughts of using nicotine it is when I'm doing something that I haven't done since I quit. Congratulations on your awesome quit also. One day at a time we will continue.
YQB Neal - No slavery to nicotine for 2 months.
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Joined: 05 Jan 2011, 00:09

12 Mar 2011, 23:33 #41

Neal,
I really enjoy reading your posts and journal.  I live in Florida too (USA for the others) and there have been many times when the spring and orange blossoms have brought on triggers - and like you, I just face them, and know in my heart that I have just made another step toward extinguishing the thought and feeling that the "auto pilot" in me before is now being re-conditioned to a better me.

Just wanted to stop by and thank you for your un-ending honesty and say you accomplished something huge by getting through a great camping time without nicotine....by laying a more solid welcome mat for the real you to walk through the door.  You rock.

yqs,
Lisa
quit 1-1-11 and smiling
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CWZ
Joined: 19 Jan 2009, 23:49

14 Mar 2011, 19:45 #42

Enjoyed reading about your quit and want to offer up some encouraging news...The triggers will keep getting fewer and fewer! You are doing fantastic in your good smart quit. Congratulations!

CWZ Gold x 3

Gary
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Joined: 12 Jan 2011, 17:39

16 Mar 2011, 21:35 #43

Hey Neal, thanks for dropping by...your post on my thread got me to thinking and I went back and reviewed a number of of quit logs during the first month or two of their quits.

It is just as Joel and John tell us, each of our quits is different.  I noticed that some folks seem to really struggle through the first month and then suddenly it gets easier.  Others mostly cruise through that first month and suddenly have struggles to deal with.  Then there are others (like me) that seem to struggle off and on through the whole thing.  The good news here is that as I read the logs on some of the longer quits I find that most find sustained comfort somewhere in the first six months (although a few seem to struggle longer than that).

The lesson I learn from this is to not have specific expectations, just accept what comes (as it comes) and always keep nicotine on the outside.

By the way Neal, golf is better without being in a state of withdrawal half of the time.  I did notice early on that my ball striking was rather poor for a time but I worked through it.

I hope that you get out on the course soon.

Jeff - two months and eight days Nicotine Free (67 days)
Since: 1-8-2011
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Joined: 14 Jan 2011, 00:33

23 Mar 2011, 17:15 #44

Well, I'm on Day 73 today and all is going well. I'm loving my freedom and I feel very far away from the possibility of using nicotine. I haven't been quit so long that I forgot what it was like to have my life revolve aroung smoking, but I have been quit long enough to see how much better life is now that I'm finding the real me. I did gain about 10 pounds, as predicted, but I know that will soon come off. I'm finding I have a lot more time on my hands. I've already painted the whole outside of my house, and now I'm working on re-landscaping the entire back yard. (All with the money I've saved from not smoking!) It truly is getting better and better. YQB Neal - NTAP
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Joined: 15 Feb 2011, 18:00

23 Mar 2011, 18:53 #45

WOW WOW WOW!  What great accomplishments - of course the quit, but also the home improvement.  Now every time you pull in the driveway you will be reminded of the great work you've done on ALL fronts! Congrats!

Wendy
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