This is a must read letter

Joined: September 9th, 2009, 10:17 pm

November 11th, 2009, 3:18 am #1

Since this site has been up this is the most touching letter that I have received. This brother gave me permission to post his letter below.


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There has been a great deal written about black women and their flight to find a good black man and it appears that all the black successful men are marrying women from other races. The story is told as if the black man has turned his back on the love of a black woman, and black woman justify her lack of a man by believe those men can’t handle strong black woman.

Being a black male, as have been described as one of the nicest people you could ever meet, I would like to debunk the myth that black men have turned their back on black women. I would first like to say that I believe that black women are some of the most beautiful women in the world physically; however, as the saying goes beauty is only skin deep. I can not speak for all black men that I have found that a great deal of highly successful black males have similar experience when dealing with black women.

Here is my story.

I am a black male that really loves black women, but they do not like me. To be honest, I am the nicest guys you will ever want to meet, and I really care about the well being of all people. I often feed the hungry and help people with any problem I can assist them with. When I was growing up, the only women I wanted to have sex with was the woman I married and it was known that that I would not have sex until marriage. If I saw a woman that I was really attractive to, I would talk to that woman and only that woman. I would not even entertain the thought of fooling around on her; yet, with all that I had trouble with my sisters when it comes to dating.

I recall when I was growing up, it seems like the woman always overlooked me when it came to dating and friendships. I was the invisible man to them and it appears as if they never wanted anything to do with me. I remember when I was in high school; I could not wait to graduate because of the way I was treated. When I got on the bus in the morning, I would ask the girl may I please have a sit and they would not let me sit down and if one did let me sit with her, she would move to another sit. The girls would rather sit three to a sit than to sit with me. When some of the guys would say, y’all should not do him that way. Some girl, would yell, we do not have to sit with him if we do not want to.

When we were getting ready to leave the school, I would be the first on the bus just to get a seat so I would not have to go through the embarrassment. I would sit on a seat by myself on the way home because no one wanted to sit next to me. In fact, I started to image that I had to be the ugliest person in the world and in fact I must look like a monster. When I was growing up, every time I would see my face in the mirror I would cry because I thought I was so ugly. My family had to hide all pictures of me because I hated the way I look so much that I would destroy any picture of myself because I could not stand to look at myself. Even today, I do not take pictures because I can not stand to look at myself. Also, when I take public transportation I try to be the first on the bus or train to get a seat because I have fears that if I sit next to a person that would leave because I am some ugly.

Let’s fast forward to my adult years. I have no kids and go to work every day and make a good living. I have never been locked up and am a model citizen. I have helped tutor kids and adults in math and do a great job at it; I also support the students at my alma mater. The only thing that has been constant in my life is the way woman treat me. I do not even approach black woman because of the way I have been treated. When I approach some black women, they laugh at me and ask me how much money do you have?

. I have been told to leave them alone and never speak to them again. Others have threaten to call the police on my just for saying Hi. I have tried to approach a black woman and they frown up when they see me coming, or they make me feel as if I am trying to trap them or hurt them. If I sit by a woman, she will get up in move or start yelling Oh Lord!

I was once in a public cafeteria and all the tables were taking and one woman was sitting by herself. I politely walked up to her and asked, would you mind, if I have a seat that your table. She said no. I assumed she meant that she did not mind if I had a seat. When I sat my tray down and pulled out a chair, she jumped up and went off on me in a crowded cafeteria. When I got my tray, I was invited to a table by a white woman and lot of white people came over to make sure I was OK.

Yet, these same women get upset when they see me talking to a woman that is not black. However, the other women never treat the way that black women treat me. Even if a white woman is not interested in me, they will still be friendly and talk to a brother whereas a black woman acts a fool. I have plenty of experience with dealing with black women and I will say yes that they are driving us away from them.

My advice to all the black women be careful of how you treat the little shy guy because you driving a good black husband from a deserving sister. If the truth be told a lot of the guys that are rap stars were treat like I was which is why they have issues respecting black women because all our life you have been the meanest nasty person to show when we just wanted to say hi. You have been the person that asked us how much you got when we asked you for a date. How do you think we are going to view you and treat you later in life?
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Joined: November 11th, 2009, 5:09 am

November 11th, 2009, 5:18 am #2

Thanks for inviting me.
I am the author of the letter. I was so surprised to find out that many black men have been through some of the same things I have been through. It is funny how women use to look down their noses at me, but now when they need a man to help raise their kids, or support them, all of sudden, I am appealing.

People we need to stop playing game with each others and get real about our business with each other. With all the stuff I been through, I never once belittled a womam like I have been treated.
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Joined: November 10th, 2009, 1:06 am

November 11th, 2009, 6:36 am #3

Last Black man, that was a very powerful and moving letter that you wrote. Your letter tells the story of so many black men, stay strong my brother.
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Joined: November 11th, 2009, 5:09 am

November 11th, 2009, 3:15 pm #4

I am just trying to help out and show the world that are some very good black men in the world, but black women have mistreated them for years. This is the story we never hear about in the media. This is the story that explain why so many "good" black men look outside their race for marriage.

This story may also why we have seen such an increase in man dating other men. Ladies why you are dogging that man out, there may be some men watching and make a move on them why they feel bad. I have seen this have too many times and the women wonder why the guy turned out to be that way. I went to college with a guy who was short and dark skinned. The women alway would laugh at him when he tried to talk to them. He was too short and too dark.

A few years later, this guy was wearing a dress because the chief homosexual used the women do not want you to get him and turn him out. The guy dies of aids years later which may have been prevented if some of the women would have been nice to him.

My motives is to get people to see that your action can have far reaching effects on people lieves and we should think how we treat people.
Women need to realize that their actions are what help shape and change our world. We can end all of the kids out of wedlock and stop all this gang foolishness if they make the right choice. Believe me, if woman did not talk to men that were acting gangster, guys would change. The reason why we have some many gangs is the women are liking the thug type. If women were to tell men that unless you go to class and graduate, we would have more black men graduating high school.
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Joined: October 23rd, 2009, 1:35 pm

November 11th, 2009, 3:29 pm #5

Yes, your letter was indeed powerful. However, I refuse to believe that most black women behave that way, as I refuse to believe that most black men want white women and are dead beats. I could think that all black men are liars and whore mongers based on how I have been treated. However instead of doing that, blaming them, I just chalk it up to my choosing the wrong men, there are always signs. You spoke of women calling the police just for you saying hello, well that definitely is not the norm although clearly not right but please you and I both know that is not common place for a sista to call the police just because a man says "hello, how are you?".... I know too many good women out here who are down to earth ladies. They may not have the Beyonce' body, light skin, long hair but they are great women. Unfortunately, I know a lot of men who want the "dime pieces" and then wonder why there is no substance there. We have a lot of work to do as a people, but we cannot make the generalizations against black men and black women. Wish you luck.
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Joined: November 11th, 2009, 5:09 am

November 11th, 2009, 4:47 pm #6

kosmicgirl, Thanks for a female respond. I can not speak for all men but I tend to be attracted tp dark skinned females more so than light skinned females. I do not look for the "dime" pieces as you stated.

But you will be surprise how some sisters will treat a very nice guy. I am not making any generalizations about black women, but that is my life. On the real tip, growing up, I thougt I was the ugliest person in the world because the way I was treated on my way to school.

I will conclude by saying that I will not approach a black woman first anymore because of the way I have been treated. I will have to feel her out which is ashame, but such is life. You will be surprise how many women, would threaten a man with police action just for saying hi, or say do you ever speak to me again.

With each year that passes, I find it increasing harder to strike of conversation with a black woman because the way I have been treated all my life.

I will ask you one last question. Why when i was growing up and I asked a girl if they mind if I have a seat with them, they would not let me sit with them or they would move to another seat? All I wanted was a seat and at the time, I was very shy and was not a threat in any way to them. Imagine going through that everyday of your life. Imagine being laughed at when the girl exchange seats when you sit down.

I wrote the letter to help people examize their action on treating other, but in truth, it was the most painful letter I ever had to write in my life because I had to relive thise situation on the bus. I had to relive the woman in the cafe. I had to relive the looks on the women faces and their actions. I had to relive the laughter and embarassment. I have tears in my eyes as I type this now.
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Joined: November 6th, 2009, 6:12 pm

November 11th, 2009, 5:33 pm #7

Hello Last Black Man I am very moved by your letter. I too have had some of the same issues. I was treat poorly by the opposite sex growing up. I am very pretty but I am also very petite. The guys wanted the more curvaceous type of women so I was overlooked a lot. It played on my self esteem for a good part of my life. When I realized that I was made in God's and that He made me for a purpose all of my insecurities were washed away. I know there are some cruel and nasty women out here but there are also some very bright, kind, and loving black women out here also. Don't give up because if you desire a black woman I'm sure God has one waiting for you. It took me some time to work through all of the issues and insecurities I had but it all paid off. I can proudly say that I am married to a wonderful black man that loves my size. We have 3 beautiful boys and I am a stay-at-home mom. God has really blessed me and given me beauty for my ashes and I'm sure he can do the same for you. Whatever you do never give up on finding love. When you do find it you will have a greater appreciation for it than many ppl have these days. Be blessed my brother and hold your head high with confidence. You were made in His likeness and for a purpose.
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Joined: November 10th, 2009, 1:06 am

November 11th, 2009, 8:22 pm #8

A lot of black men have experienced the same thing as The Last Blackman, but they keep their feeling inside. He was just honest enough to open up and express himselves.
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Joined: November 9th, 2009, 1:09 am

November 11th, 2009, 9:24 pm #9

Last Black man, that was a powerful letter my man. You could write a book about your experiences.
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Joined: November 9th, 2009, 1:09 am

November 11th, 2009, 9:31 pm #10

Kosmicgirl wrote:Yes, your letter was indeed powerful. However, I refuse to believe that most black women behave that way, as I refuse to believe that most black men want white women and are dead beats. I could think that all black men are liars and whore mongers based on how I have been treated. However instead of doing that, blaming them, I just chalk it up to my choosing the wrong men, there are always signs. You spoke of women calling the police just for you saying hello, well that definitely is not the norm although clearly not right but please you and I both know that is not common place for a sista to call the police just because a man says "hello, how are you?".... I know too many good women out here who are down to earth ladies. They may not have the Beyonce' body, light skin, long hair but they are great women. Unfortunately, I know a lot of men who want the "dime pieces" and then wonder why there is no substance there. We have a lot of work to do as a people, but we cannot make the generalizations against black men and black women. Wish you luck.
Nobody in America goes through what black men goes through. They will give a black woman a job, before they give a black man a job. It's always a black man that we see getting shot down by the police. Whenever we see police brutality like Rodney King, it's always a black man that's experiencing that kind of stuff. And on top of that the media tries to paint the black man in a bad light. I love sisters but they don't go through what we have to go through.
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