Like most disasters, this one began when me and Burger competing on whoever could sustain a Kubbo Camp in the same location the longest. I mean, he is a mexifinn, and kubbos are moe. What could possibly go wrong?
A lot, really. The place we picked didn't have any running water, so the kubbos had to suffer from thirst or drink mud. I wanted to keep in theme and not use any stone for my constructions.. that kind of went down quickly when I had more or less deforested the entire map.
One of my kubbos was supposed to be a hunter and bring us food, but the first thing he does when we embark is running unarmed and unarmored against a pack of horses, promptly getting his head ripped off. Well, that wasn't so bad. getting plants from the surroundings seemed like it'd sustain the camp for a while.. the moeblobs had a barrack made fully of wood, and a dinning hall in the making. Things were looking up.
Then a pack of rhesus macabre showed up.
For you not savvy in Dorf Fortrass, the rhesus aren't more than a little annoyance, showing up, scaring your population and stealing some trinkets. When a pack of ten shows up in the middle of your camp, though, and they scare the much-needed merchant caravans, it's time to take drastic measures.
Unfortunately, a domesticated fire imp reached this conclusion rather faster than me. His solution was attempting to torch a rhesus by throwing fireballs all over the place and being subsequently dismembered by the monkey's companions.
By the time the imp was dead, my whole six-bold newly recruited army arrived and started dismembering the rhesuses with their bare hands. The dead imp, however, sought to punish his previous owners from the grave for either being complete jerks, or knowing nothing of good timing. He went about doing this by having one of his stay fireballs hit a tree right in the middle of my camp.
Long story short, a fire started. Right next to my wood stockpiles. Which then went to my food stockpiles. Which then carried over to my depot, and outside the boundaries of my camp.. until everything green in the map had burnt to ashes. One of my kobolds, unfortunately, was green.
So now I'm in the middle of summer, with no food, no workshops, no wood, and only five kubbos. God dammit Borg.
Kubbos started tantrum'ng.. one miner decided that he didn't like our glorious leader, and decided to throw his shovel at him.
Result: Thrathilus, Woodcutter has been struck down.
Roughly a second afterwards, Thrathilus' only friend finds out about the murder.
Result: Stlildus, Woodcutter has gone stark raving mad!
And perhaps the day after, the miner realizes what he has done.
Result: Brofosaylgin Kemleti, Miner is stricken by melancholy!
So now I have a two-kubbo camp, and no migrants this season. And it's quite likely that we'll have another tantrum/insanity soon, too. Not going to abandon unless all kubbos die, so yeah. All hail our solitary moeblob overlord.
Hating you unappreciative maggots even more with every new degrading post, Your Magnificent Ruler,
Dee Ess II, Troll-Emperor of Dynami. XOXO