What's in a name?

What's in a name?

Joined: April 19th, 2002, 1:36 pm

April 18th, 2012, 3:26 pm #1

Ok, you all know I am about to get hitched and I always get asked if I am going to take my SO's last name.

My SO's last name is a made up name. His great grandfather chose a latino last name so that he could break into the latino music scene in NYC. He played the trumpet. Their family has no latino lineage at all, other than this name that was randomly chosen to benefit his career. They are irish, german and Ukrainian.

It has always been a bone of contention for his family as they always have issues tracing their heritage. Apparently there may have been another reason for the change of their original last name, allegedly there are ties to Nazi Germany... but that is another story over many beers.

Ever since I started dating him, he has always talked about changing his last name to a family name, other than said german one... He was thinking of either his mother's maiden name or his father's mother's maiden name.

He is afraid that he might insult his dad and that people would not understand. More often he is prejudged by casting directors based on his last name, they assume Ricky Ricardo is about to show up. Then he thinks that if changed his name people would think he is vane or arrogant.

I am sure that I am opening up a can of worms by discussing it here, but if I think it is an interesting topic. What would you do if you were living with the same situation?

There are just some things one should not google, but I digress.
Last edited by jude3606 on April 18th, 2012, 3:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Joined: March 11th, 2004, 4:19 pm

April 18th, 2012, 3:31 pm #2

If he's going to change his name anyway, what's stopping him from taking your last name?

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Arwen
Arwen

April 18th, 2012, 3:32 pm #3

Ok, you all know I am about to get hitched and I always get asked if I am going to take my SO's last name.

My SO's last name is a made up name. His great grandfather chose a latino last name so that he could break into the latino music scene in NYC. He played the trumpet. Their family has no latino lineage at all, other than this name that was randomly chosen to benefit his career. They are irish, german and Ukrainian.

It has always been a bone of contention for his family as they always have issues tracing their heritage. Apparently there may have been another reason for the change of their original last name, allegedly there are ties to Nazi Germany... but that is another story over many beers.

Ever since I started dating him, he has always talked about changing his last name to a family name, other than said german one... He was thinking of either his mother's maiden name or his father's mother's maiden name.

He is afraid that he might insult his dad and that people would not understand. More often he is prejudged by casting directors based on his last name, they assume Ricky Ricardo is about to show up. Then he thinks that if changed his name people would think he is vane or arrogant.

I am sure that I am opening up a can of worms by discussing it here, but if I think it is an interesting topic. What would you do if you were living with the same situation?

There are just some things one should not google, but I digress.
If his great grandfather chose a latino last name so that he could break into the latino music scene in NYC, then his dad should understand him doing the exact same thing, no?
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Aurora
Aurora

April 18th, 2012, 3:34 pm #4

Ok, you all know I am about to get hitched and I always get asked if I am going to take my SO's last name.

My SO's last name is a made up name. His great grandfather chose a latino last name so that he could break into the latino music scene in NYC. He played the trumpet. Their family has no latino lineage at all, other than this name that was randomly chosen to benefit his career. They are irish, german and Ukrainian.

It has always been a bone of contention for his family as they always have issues tracing their heritage. Apparently there may have been another reason for the change of their original last name, allegedly there are ties to Nazi Germany... but that is another story over many beers.

Ever since I started dating him, he has always talked about changing his last name to a family name, other than said german one... He was thinking of either his mother's maiden name or his father's mother's maiden name.

He is afraid that he might insult his dad and that people would not understand. More often he is prejudged by casting directors based on his last name, they assume Ricky Ricardo is about to show up. Then he thinks that if changed his name people would think he is vane or arrogant.

I am sure that I am opening up a can of worms by discussing it here, but if I think it is an interesting topic. What would you do if you were living with the same situation?

There are just some things one should not google, but I digress.
I have no idea what I'd do in that situation.

I can say that I was totally planning to always keep my own last name, cause it's all but dead and I wanted to give it some chance to survive, and all my degrees and stuff are in that name. And I love my initials "CNT"

However, now that I'm with my bf, if we end up together I'm totally excited to take his last name cause it's Indian, and I think that would be awesome.

I can't imagine people being hurt over changing a name. If his grandfather changed his name to better his career, why would his father think so ill of him changing his name. He's just following in the family footsteps.
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CapsLock
CapsLock

April 18th, 2012, 3:35 pm #5

If his great grandfather chose a latino last name so that he could break into the latino music scene in NYC, then his dad should understand him doing the exact same thing, no?
I had a dream last that you posted a wicked long story, Jude. It had some nice pictures with funny captions and the whole thing looked like a magazine article. I have no idea what it was about though. I think maybe a trip you had taken to Africa. I just skimmed it in my dream.

Anyway, I had forgotten about the dream until I opened this thread.
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Joined: April 19th, 2002, 1:36 pm

April 18th, 2012, 3:35 pm #6

If he's going to change his name anyway, what's stopping him from taking your last name?
Good question. I think I would be afraid people would think that bullied him into taking my name.

There are just some things one should not google, but I digress.
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'neady
'neady

April 18th, 2012, 3:37 pm #7

Ok, you all know I am about to get hitched and I always get asked if I am going to take my SO's last name.

My SO's last name is a made up name. His great grandfather chose a latino last name so that he could break into the latino music scene in NYC. He played the trumpet. Their family has no latino lineage at all, other than this name that was randomly chosen to benefit his career. They are irish, german and Ukrainian.

It has always been a bone of contention for his family as they always have issues tracing their heritage. Apparently there may have been another reason for the change of their original last name, allegedly there are ties to Nazi Germany... but that is another story over many beers.

Ever since I started dating him, he has always talked about changing his last name to a family name, other than said german one... He was thinking of either his mother's maiden name or his father's mother's maiden name.

He is afraid that he might insult his dad and that people would not understand. More often he is prejudged by casting directors based on his last name, they assume Ricky Ricardo is about to show up. Then he thinks that if changed his name people would think he is vane or arrogant.

I am sure that I am opening up a can of worms by discussing it here, but if I think it is an interesting topic. What would you do if you were living with the same situation?

There are just some things one should not google, but I digress.
I think he should take your last name. It worked for Jack White.
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CapsLock
CapsLock

April 18th, 2012, 3:38 pm #8

I have no idea what I'd do in that situation.

I can say that I was totally planning to always keep my own last name, cause it's all but dead and I wanted to give it some chance to survive, and all my degrees and stuff are in that name. And I love my initials "CNT"

However, now that I'm with my bf, if we end up together I'm totally excited to take his last name cause it's Indian, and I think that would be awesome.

I can't imagine people being hurt over changing a name. If his grandfather changed his name to better his career, why would his father think so ill of him changing his name. He's just following in the family footsteps.
A Man has to live his own life. If he wants to change it, he should. I can't see how his dad would be insulted since your fiance would be changing his name for almost the same reason as his father.
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Joined: April 19th, 2002, 1:36 pm

April 18th, 2012, 3:38 pm #9

I had a dream last that you posted a wicked long story, Jude. It had some nice pictures with funny captions and the whole thing looked like a magazine article. I have no idea what it was about though. I think maybe a trip you had taken to Africa. I just skimmed it in my dream.

Anyway, I had forgotten about the dream until I opened this thread.
That's funny, Caps! Normally I would have pictures and things.

There are just some things one should not google, but I digress.
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AnonoBoBo
AnonoBoBo

April 18th, 2012, 3:41 pm #10

I have no idea what I'd do in that situation.

I can say that I was totally planning to always keep my own last name, cause it's all but dead and I wanted to give it some chance to survive, and all my degrees and stuff are in that name. And I love my initials "CNT"

However, now that I'm with my bf, if we end up together I'm totally excited to take his last name cause it's Indian, and I think that would be awesome.

I can't imagine people being hurt over changing a name. If his grandfather changed his name to better his career, why would his father think so ill of him changing his name. He's just following in the family footsteps.
My family name is dead, too.

It's funny (not ha-ha) he's being stereotyped based on his name. My last name appears to be latino, but is pronounced really strangely - long story, but not latino. Think for example you see "Gonzales" written but the person tells you it's pronounced "Gun-sales." Never gets old, man. Never. I wish I'd kept my maiden name. And my bank account. Wow, where is this going?
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