Needing support

Joined: April 15th, 2015, 7:27 pm

June 15th, 2017, 3:02 pm #1

Hello,

We have hosted for many years. Some years have been better than others, but this year has been different. We hosted our 20th student, and the first four months were pretty rough because, according to him, he had predetermined expectations of what the family would be like. After the intervention from his LC, student and family bonded closely. Without our input, his natural parents made the decision to come visit at the end of his exchange. They purchased their tickets and made all the plans. They told him that they were coming, then he told us. We told him that since they were arriving the last week of school, we would need to rearrange how we did his departure from here so our closure could be personal. His parents came and would not allow him to stay the 10 extra days after their return that we requested. The organization also could not get them to understand the importance of the student's exit process. He had to leave us three days after his parents left. He wrote me one time on Snapchat to tell me that he was home and that he missed us already. He did not reply to my wife at all. He answered my son's Snapchat text once as well.

Since then we have not gotten any replies from him from any of his social media accounts. Yesterday he started a new Instagram account and did not permit me to follow him on it. I wrote his father and asked how things were going. His father told me that our student is busy with all his friends and having a difficult time with culture shock. Then he said that they were just so happy to have him back home with them. There was no real sense of understanding where we are coming from as the host family who has had to say goodbye to a family member. I understand that they have no experience with this since none of them ever traveled or lived abroad, but I could use some encouragement right now.

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Joined: January 11th, 2015, 7:20 pm

June 18th, 2017, 1:06 am #2

Wow, I have no advice but I'm so sorry you went and are going through all that It's all so strange. I hope your student is just going through a rough patch and will communicate with you all again.
-> Kuwana, Japan - YFU JUSSE scholarship, summer 2004
-> Izmir, Turkey - work abroad, summer 2007
YFU volunteer area representative since 2009
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