"Why do so many trans women eroticize femininity or have transformation fetishes?" Let's discuss.

A place to share links to sites and articles relevant to crossdreaming, gender variance and transgender issues
Joined: September 14th, 2016, 8:12 am

November 13th, 2017, 2:43 pm #11

This theory (about anime) leaves unexplained FtM transgender people. I want to say, that they are no different: it's anime, particullary yaoi, which is the cause. This link is an illustration: https://www.reddit.com/r/GenderCritical ... ns_trends/
It's anime.

I've seen women and girls alike get so morbidly obsessed with yaoi that they can't bloody conceive love and romance with a female person at all. This probably helped fuel the depression and romantisexual stifling of my now-ex best friend, who almost decided she was trans because of it.
It's cute guys, who love each other, who twists the mind of innocent girl to the point, when the girl start to identify with them. There are even two types of FtM people -- one is lesbians, who found it easier to be a straight men, and AAP paraphilicas, who just get off on their fantasies -- the mirror of Blanchard theory.

It's all based on idea, that there is one single factor, which corrupts otherwise normal man or woman, and all attempts of building such theories grows from desire to find and, if possible, eliminate this factor. To make the gender binary great again. In this case, it's all about cute girls and boys from anime.
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Joined: September 3rd, 2017, 7:03 am

November 14th, 2017, 2:19 am #12

I think that a lot of crossdreamers in childhood  are shy sensitive girly boys who want to be like another boys, but they feel on subconcious level  that they are not like them and supressed feelings are  expressed in the subtle ways like dreams, fantasies, etc. We can compare this situation with  situation of females who want to be strong and independent in social life, nevertheless their desire to be feminine can  be expressed in fantasies about rape. 
WE DO NOT EVEN IN THE LEAST KNOW THE FINAL CAUSE OF SEXUALITY. THE WHOLE SUBJECT IS HIDDEN IN DARKNESS
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Joined: November 16th, 2015, 2:24 pm

November 14th, 2017, 7:18 am #13

Great find, Barbara. I am sharing this with girfag and yaoi-fan friends, to see if I can get some feedback.
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Joined: May 14th, 2017, 5:32 pm

November 14th, 2017, 12:13 pm #14

Bunch of clods, that's what they are. 
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Jen
Joined: November 18th, 2015, 12:33 am

November 14th, 2017, 3:22 pm #15

Testing, testing, 1,2,3
(Didn't want to post here anymore......but......I see "clods" in reference to girlfags, I presume.  Ehhhhh.....do elaborate more, oreb. We may be sharing the same sentiments, like "why would a girl play around in a boys' club as opposed to a girls' club.......hhhhmmmmmmm)
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Joined: May 14th, 2017, 5:32 pm

November 14th, 2017, 4:22 pm #16

It was the people in GenderCritical I was referring to. I don't shit on high-density marriage material demographics just like that. What were you thinking?
I don't know what I'm saying. I just wanted to make whatever joke. 
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Joined: September 9th, 2017, 10:35 pm

November 14th, 2017, 8:12 pm #17

It doesn't have to be limited to GenderCritical.  The experiences of MTFs and MTFs are very different.  It's why they have their own communities, thus still proving that there's a biological binary. 🙄  It's very rare to have someone cross into a gender divide and last........somewhat.
Last edited by jdb.lal3899 on November 14th, 2017, 8:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Joined: September 9th, 2017, 10:35 pm

November 14th, 2017, 8:13 pm #18

(jdb = Jen) 😌
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Joined: April 26th, 2018, 10:20 pm

May 2nd, 2018, 3:19 pm #19

The transformation aspect of MtF fantasies is fascinating to me because it's how I've coped with being a repressed trans person. Specifically my fantasies involved being changed against my will. I know that this was a way for me to deal with the shame and guilt and self loathing of feeling like a girl in a guy's body. The media really shoves gender expectations down our throat (although it seems like it's getting better). But since I felt like a girl in a guy's body but at the same time I was attracted to girls it caused a lot of shame and confusion. In movies and tv shows that are directed at both genders there tends to be an ideal image of both genders portrayed, so since I always wanted to get the girl I wanted to be the guy, but I really wanted to be a girl. The way I described it to my friend was that it's like playing a video game where the only character you can play as is male. I don't want to be a guy, but I want to play the game so I just accept the role. My only attachment to being a guy was finding love... Last night I had more to say about the whole fantasy and how I think it's a coping mechanism for being trans, but my iPad died and it got deleted so I'm just going to focus on the conclusion I arrived at. 

The story I tell myself is that I'm transformed against my will, forced to participate in feminine things, and then to my dismay I realize I like it and accept it. I think this is my mind's way of coping with being trans, and I'm going through the stages of grief. Not stages of grief at being turned into a girl, but the stages of grief when it comes to accepting that I really do feel like a girl in a guy's body and that I really am trans.
I hate that I feel like I'm a girl stuck in a guy's body and I feel a lot of shame and embarrassment and self loathing as a result. In other words, I already feel like I've somehow been turned into a girl against my will, just not physically. So in my story I'm turned into a girl against my will and then I go through the stages of grief, eventually accepting that I am a girl. 

I mentioned in one or two of my other posts that my male and female sides hate one another and they both hate themselves, and I think this story I tell myself reinforces that (this is something I just realized while I was writing last night). Essentially I repeatedly go through the stages of grief accepting that I'm a woman in a man's body, starting with hating that I'm a girl, then eventually accepting that I'm a girl. The story starts with me clinging to my male identity then accepting my female identity, however it ends with despair because at the end I'm still outwardly male... So it ends with me feeling like a girl stuck in a guy's body and being depressed by that. I mean I start by hating that I feel like a girl on the inside, but end with hating that I'm not a girl on the outside. So it feels like I'm stuck on this hedonistic hamster wheel, constantly going through the stages of grief only to start all over again. 

I think this method of coping has been destructive because I think it's reinforced my feelings of hatred for both parts of my identity... 

Anyway, for anyone who read my post about being outed on a national level these are the fantasies they found out about. I'm hoping I can post enough to move to the safe room soon so I can give more details, because honestly I feel an insane amount of guilt and shame for how I coped with and expressed my gender dysphoria. I wish I had seen a counselor sooner, but I was so ashamed that I couldn't even say the words, even to one of my counselors I saw for three years. 
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Joined: July 27th, 2017, 4:02 am

May 2nd, 2018, 9:47 pm #20

I used to have so much shame. By imagining my body as female, I used to justify it as trying to be an empathetic male. When that wore thin, it was just a sick fetish. So, in my fantasies I'd get somehow turned into a female against my will and, of course, fucked/raped. This way, I'd get sex the way my brain needed it, but it wouldn't be my fault. I wouldn't be responsible for it.

In trying to write about such fantasies, the hard part was always the antagonist. Their motive for feminizing a victim never made sense to me. It seems most transformation fiction suffers from this. It's just so convenient to be forced to do/experience what ultimately you want/need to do/experience. Ultimately, I was responsible for what I wanted/needed, and no antagonist forcing me to do it could absolve me of what seemed perverse when I still clung to the idea I was a man.

It's been 9 months since I accepted myself as trans. 6 months since I've lived as a woman full time.

There is no more shame.

I used to masturbate on average once a day. It's like my repression acted like a pressure cooker, and the only way it could find any release was through the hidden pressure valve of secret and perverse masturbatory fantasies.

By accepting myself, I released the pressure and took the lid off the pressure cooker. Now, my sexual fantasies start with me being female and seem much less perverse. Perhaps even 'normal'. Definitely better. Also, much less frequent. In the past 9 months I've masturbated maybe 5 or 6 times. Not because I needed to. More out of curiosity about it and my sexual orientation.

What... this isn't in the safe room? I don't give a shit. I have nothing I need to hide anymore. I was a woman struggling with a body incapable of sex the way a woman needs sex, and to make matters worse, I thought I was a man. I coped with that predicament the best I could. Part of that was writing.

https://fictionmania.tv/stories/readtex ... 6451292502
Pretty standard fare for fictionmania. The antagonist still makes no sense to me.

https://fictionmania.tv/stories/readtex ... 7314488150
An attempt to get around the stupid antagonist stuff.

At the time of writing these, I still hadn't accepted myself as a trans-woman. I'm not particularly proud of them, but I'm not ashamed either. They are a part of my past dealing with being a repressed trans-woman.
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