She decided to turn this into something positive for both of them, exploring such a fantasy in real life.
She sent me a copy of a message she had sent another crossdreamer. I have her permission to share some of what she wrote to with you.
I guess the important lessons here are that:"So, Saturday night we role played for the first time. I tied him up and blindfolded him. I narrated a scenario I made up for him. I was his professor and he was my student. He had flunked a paper on 20th century feminism because he just had no concept of the female perspective. So I massaged him and narrated his body slowly changing into that of a woman. Eventually he ends up having sex with the professor in her office.
I used my hands and mouth on his penis, and massaged his prostate externally with a vibrator. I've read that prostate orgasms are more intense and more similar to g-spot orgasms for women. I said I was licking his clit when I used my mouth on his glans, I talked about using the vibrator in his pussy rather than for his prostate. We've never done anything for prostate in the past but have talked about it and I decided to incorporate it. He said the newness and shame he still has overshadowed the enjoyment a bit this time, but that in the future that should get easier. Perhaps you and your girlfriend can discuss what kind of terminology you like in advance and you can send her some erotica that you like. Maybe you can roleplay some erotica?
My husband likes a small degree of femdom, but he doesn't like the humiliation or degradation at all. I said things about her beautiful tits, how much I love her perky nipples, how I transformed her to be everything I wanted, etc. I took a praise angle as a domme that he really liked. That may work for you :)
So, at first, this kink was weird and freaked me out. A lot of that had to do with my emotional state at the time that I discovered it, though. Over time,it's grown on me. I like performance and I model and enjoy dress up and roleplay! This is fun for me. I'm not sexually attracted to women, but roleplaying having sex with a woman is exciting.
The best part for me is sexually fulfilling my husband in a way nobody else has. He's being very vulnerable with me and I appreciate the trust and love that's required for him to share this with me. It adds a whole new level of intimacy to our relationship. I love him even more now because we share something really special. He and I have shared our deepest darkest fantasies with each other and it really is amazing :) ...
I was apprehensive when I first discovered it, but as time goes on I find I'm more excited and enthusiastic about it! My husband was like you, worrying about how he'd feel about it all. So I took most of it out of his hands and did the roleplay concept almost entirely alone. I wanted to do it to him and for him instead of having him be required to participate this time. He answered some questions I asked as part of the roleplay, but by and large he could just lie back and immerse himself into the fantasy. I'm glad I did it that way, because after we talked I gathered that he preferred not to have to participate because the awkwardness was too much...
1. Most of us are a little bit kinky, and that is a good thing.
2. Many partners are willing to do some role playing in order to integrate the crossdreams into a couple's sex life.
Having such fantasies do not have to be the end of the world. They can be the beginning of a new one.