For me I find my cross dressing quite a satisfying outlet, I think that transition would not make me as happy as my wife and kids
If crossdressing makes you happy and helps you cope, that's good. Being with the family you love is also an important part of the equation. I guess what it all boils down to is how hard and intense your gender dysphoria is.
It is hard to blame a woman that married what she thought to be a man, find it hard to imagine being married to a woman. I get it. Some women do accept such a life changer, though.