Facial Feminisation & Jamie Sullivan. Possible SRS Regret?

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Joined: 17 Nov 2015, 10:51

28 Nov 2017, 08:04 #11

Thank you so much for sharing your story JK776. I still often think of Jamie and would liked to have known her in real life.

@AllisonWunderland : Many people do take to drug use as a coping mechanism as a means of escape. The users I have spoken to over the years have pretty much told me of the need to escape from their lives which is why they smoke cannabis. Over here in the UK cannabis is an illegal drug. The underground market for the cannabis plant here is Skunk. The extra strength stuff with the anti psychotic agents removed from the plant. This is not to be confused with the cannabis which was available in the 70s and 80s as it had the anti psychotic agent which was naturally part of the plant. The original plant is pretty safe apart from general smoking issues but this is no longer available. This Skunk stuff is nasty and I have personally known of two people who have been sectioned due to skunk use. I also know the mother of a son who was also sectioned due to psychosis induced Skunk use. What does 'Sectioned' mean? You're carted off to a psychiatric hospital (AKA a mental hospital) against your will as your behaviour demonstrates you're a danger to yourself. I have also recently lost a long term friend whose behaviour has become unmanageable to the point that a friendship is no longer possible due to Skunk use.  I am not part of the drug scene and live a rather clean existence apart from too much alcohol at times, but all of these stories are much more common in the UK than they ever were. What may start as a coping mechanism or a bit of fun can change your life into a nightmare.

For me seeing Jamie smoking cannabis was a bit of a red flag that she was perhaps very unhappy, or that such activity could interfere with her thought process long term. Such a judgement is simply based upon my own experiences of what I said in the above paragraph.

Joined: 24 Nov 2017, 14:23

09 Dec 2017, 12:21 #12

The cannabis Jamie enjoyed was obtained legally in California, she possessed a medical marijuana card. It provided her with relief from the realities of her less than happy life. She suffered from depression and had survived previous suicide attempts. Unfortunately psychological help was unaffordable. Her personality was hardened by emotional trauma. Attracted primarily to females she endured the males that were attracted to her, financial compensation was all she sought from them. Movie production was her main interest even though she was enrolled in a nursing program. She loved to ice skate and play an electronic keyboard. Her singing voice was a pleasure to hear. The two children she babysat were warmly  loved by her...If only things had worked out, she would be 29 years old now. I miss her terribly.

Joined: 04 Apr 2016, 04:00

29 Dec 2017, 22:27 #13

jackmolay wrote:Thank you for sharing this, Jk776. Life is hard for most people, and being some shade of transgender makes it even harder.

Some people -- even among those who have transitioned -- seem to think that being transgender is only about identity, and as soon as you have realized that your real identity is not that of your assigned gender, you should simply transition and that is that.

But we all live in a social and personal context, and in some cases that context means that it is very hard to transition successfully. In this case economy was a central issue.

We need to respect the choices made, even if these choices might have been different in a better world. And then we have to make this a better world, right?
Thank you for pointing this out, because I find myself in this position a lot. We are more than just identity. Transitioning is a complicated issue and there is no one size fits all approach to it.

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Joined: 26 Jan 2016, 08:59

12 Jan 2018, 19:31 #14

The 'phantom penis'  is not common, in fact very uncommon, in trans women who have GRS...after a period of settling in when all the nerves reconnect up.

I long had a phantom vagina and only 3 days after GRS I could clench it.... but I kept interpreting stimulation of my clitoris as stimulating the head of my old penis ..which it originally was of course.

That slowly faded away over the next 2- 4 months, as all the nerves connected up and the stimulation sensation settled into more of a single (albeit more generalised) physical point, which is an interesting period to go through., you keep getting these 'shocks'  (like from static electricity) randomly.

So post GRS there is this rewiring/remapping going on. In my case it was only partial as my vagina mapping was already there and even the 'penis like' sensation was more of a disembodied one, rather than feeling like I actually had one.

There have been studies on this and whereas cis men who lose their penis commonly report having a phantom one, very few trans women do post GRS (after settling in of course).

Just transitioning doesn't solve all your problems, in fact it often causes many new ones. BUT, it does mean you can handle things better. I emotionally deal with issues far better now than I did in the past. I am more resilient because I don't have this gender dysphoria (GD) 'noise' going on in my head all the time.

The younger you transition the better the outcome because you haven't had all those years (decades) of suffering GD and you have less 'unlearning' to do when you transition. The latest studies on this are quite clear, young transitioners have near identical mental health to their cis peers ...an amazing improvement over those who cannot.
BUT, cis people tragically commit suicide as well for a whole host of reasons. We can only speculate about what Jamie was going through but the research shows she had a far better chance of survival by transitioning than by not, however it is no guarantee.

Joined: 26 Jan 2016, 08:59

18 Jan 2018, 22:27 #15

Well got a check up yesterday by my GRS surgeon and everything is fine. Though when he touched my clitoris....oh it is sensitive..though I could have told him that before ..:)
It is far more sensitive than my penis ever was......