"Do you dance like a girl?"

A place to discuss personal experiences with crossdreaming
stefwah
Joined: 03 Jun 2017, 11:28

14 Sep 2017, 11:12 #31

😄 not your fault if people are getting in the way of your long dance lines!
Last edited by stefwah on 28 Oct 2017, 12:00, edited 2 times in total.
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April
Joined: 17 Nov 2015, 16:32

14 Sep 2017, 18:07 #32

Stefwah, I think you have a good point there. Now if I could just get the clubs to post a sign when I am there saying: "WARNING - April is in the house. Dance at your own risk". 😀

Kidding aside, I sometimes do something I call "dancing big". I will literally dance all over the club into any available space, not just the dance floor. I will do this rather randomly in big swooping motions that appear to change direction rather randomly. This is how started dancing 3 years ago, and it got me a lot of attention when I did it. I usually did it when the clubs were still fairly empty, early in the evening. Then I started caring for a while about how a girl was supposed to dance, without fully understanding what that is all about. I thought the ticket there was to dance in mostly smaller nuanced moves, and for a while that is what I did, but I usually ended up looking rather tight and restricted. Then I realized that girls just do more of everything when they dance than males. They emote more, and they dance more in every way. They also punctuate their moves more, putting a little bit of extra emphasis on the ending. It was all about just expressing what one feels inside. Girls just have more liberty to do that than males. Dancing like a girl for me became simply being as honest and expressive as I could be. That also happens to mirror the philosophy of my entire transition.

 
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April
Joined: 17 Nov 2015, 16:32

16 Sep 2017, 18:54 #33

As a girl, you can always wear a witch's outfit, put some Gothic Folk music on the bar's jukebox, and dance accordingly. Just try doing that as a guy, and see what happens.

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Monique
Joined: 25 Mar 2016, 09:30

07 Oct 2017, 18:42 #34

When the matter of dancing comes up I often think about this movie scene:
"We live only to discover beauty. All else is a form of waiting."

- Khalil Gibran


If I cannot be a feminine traditional woman, what's the point of being a woman?

- Me
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April
Joined: 17 Nov 2015, 16:32

08 Oct 2017, 17:47 #35

Monique, I saw that film when it came out, but I didn't remember the scene. I can't believe I had forgotten that. In a very funny way, it does a great job of covering thus whole issue of gender stereotypes and dancing. My dad wouldn't have used a 4 letter word, but he would have had a similar reaction,as the boy's dad had here. My whole life, before and after transition, can be summed up by this video, even the nonconformist part. 
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April
Joined: 17 Nov 2015, 16:32

20 Oct 2017, 18:55 #37

Monique, there is another dimension to public dancing I believe is very much related. I believe I have discussed it elsewhere, but not in this thread. Your "The Men who Stare at Goats" video sort of alludes to it from one direction. Prior to the rise of free dance, public dancing was about connection and commonality. This involved not only connection to your partner, but a connection to everybody else in the room.There was an objective standard as to how everybody was supposed to perform, and of course, this was very much gender driven. All the boys did one thing, and all the girls did another at that exact moment. One had a relationship with everybody in the room. Then free dance came along and all of this was blown up. Dancing became all about individual expression. Any social connection depended solely on the broader experience of sharing the music in a public place. Males no longer had clear objective standards as what males were supposed to do. Among the males, only the rebels and the non conformists remained on the dance floor. Females since the beginning of feminism just felt freer to move in a venue with less gender expectations. So the dance floor became a mostly female space, with few male rebels thrown in.
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April
Joined: 17 Nov 2015, 16:32

26 Oct 2017, 18:38 #38

I believe there is some wiggle room (a bit of a pun) in this whole real men don't free dance thing for guys to just rock out and party down. This requires some pretty driving rock and a lot of alcohol helps. But if the music is slower and more sensual, a guy dancing to it is generally considered way out of the bounds. I can't imagine guys dancing to some slow sensual blues, even in some of the LGBT bars.

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April
Joined: 17 Nov 2015, 16:32

08 Nov 2017, 17:14 #39

In the world of pop, there are a lot of songs produced almost exclusively for teenage girls. These tend to be rather sappy songs about love gained or lost. In my youth, I referred to this as "bubblegum music". These are songs that allow the girls to commiserate with the experiences of the artist for a few minutes. In the world of real men don't dance,all dancing is somewhat questionable, but dancing to any of these type of songs is just plain wrong. Just wiggling to one of these songs qualifies as dancing like a girl. Yes I know that I have previously slammed Taylor Swift, blame it on the hormones.

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Fabienne
Joined: 16 Apr 2017, 20:06

10 Nov 2017, 10:15 #40

I've made my opinions on recent pop music quite known, however there are exceptions, like this one:

In the comment section someone posted that it made them dance like an epileptic frog, but that they were just so happy. Great. I think my reason for liking this artist and most of the songs she does is her refreshing musical style of fusing pop with swing and Latin and just good singing that is expressive and not autotuned.
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