disinterest & frustrations

A place to discuss personal experiences with crossdreaming

disinterest & frustrations

faithinfantasy
Joined: 10 Aug 2017, 10:51

12 Aug 2017, 17:26 #1

If I were indeed the goddess I want to be, I would find joy in doing so many more things.  But in this original body, I have no desire to do anything at all.  And if there is anything that even remotely requires effort, I become irremediably angry.

My question for everyone is- what things do you either have no interest in doing apart from your dream body, or what things frustrate you if you ever have to do them?  Right off the bat, I'll give an example of one that was both for me.

As for disinterest... in my current state, I have no desire even to walk the streets.  I'd have to get dressed, it is hot outside, and why bother; it's not like I'm going anywhere purposeful anyway.  If I had the body I want, of course, I wouldn't need an excuse to go out; I would love taking my sexy self out into the world.

Now because I sit lethargically all day, I am in one of the unhealthiest shapes in my life, so bad that a friend suggested exercise.  So, I did decide to get off my behind one early afternoon to take a 2-hour walk for the sake of exercise, and it made me explosively angry for the rest of the day, all because of the effort that went into making healthy a body that is lower than dirt to me.
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Monique
Joined: 25 Mar 2016, 09:30

12 Aug 2017, 19:37 #2

Damn, you're dysphoric!

Yeah, I guess most of us have been into that hole now and then. I just want you to know I feel for you cause it's pretty horrible. Let Mama Monique hug you and hold you for a while. Now then, kiss on forehead! There's a good girl!

As for your questions, how about going to work? Being expected to show up for drinking beer, watching (violent) movies and engage in guy talk? Being expected to spend time with relatives I don't necessarily like too much. Travel to other countries with guy friends in order to do guy sight-seeing? Cleaning my apartment?

Guess I'm lucky, cause most times I am able to get at least some enjoyment out of most of the above.

Hey, try not to get too angry, frustrated or depressed! There is no point in it and it only saps your spiritual strength and soul.

Here is a trick: Provided there are some male oriented interests you have acquired during your lifetime as a male, let your girl self take a rest and indulge whole heartedly in those interests/hobbies for a while. (I have some hobbies like that: for instance like history, history of philosophy, mysticism, grand social theories, strategy games, learning to play the piano, city planning and architecture as well as concerns regarding economy and politics.)

Actually, some of the above are gender neutral. For instance, for a few years I've been pretty much into mysticism and the paranormal: like out of body experiences, NDE's and stuff. I would love to learn how to have an out of body experience, I just don't seem to manage it. *lol*
"We live only to discover beauty. All else is a form of waiting."

- Khalil Gibran


If I cannot be a feminine traditional woman, what's the point of being a woman?

- Me
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Jen
Joined: 18 Nov 2015, 05:33

12 Aug 2017, 19:56 #3

Monique wrote: Damn, you're dysphoric!

Yeah, I guess most of us have been into that hole now and then. I just want you to know I feel for you cause it's pretty horrible. Let Mama Monique hug you and hold you for a while. Now then, kiss on forehead! There's a good girl!

As for your questions, how about going to work? Being expected to show up for drinking beer, watching (violent) movies and engage in guy talk? Being expected to spend time with relatives I don't necessarily like too much. Travel to other countries with guy friends in order to do guy sight-seeing? Cleaning my apartment?

Guess I'm lucky, cause most times I am able to get at least some enjoyment out of most of the above.

Hey, try not to get too angry, frustrated or depressed! There is no point in it and it only saps your spiritual strength and soul.

Here is a trick: Provided there are some male oriented interests you have acquired during your lifetime as a male, let your girl self take a rest and indulge whole heartedly in those interests/hobbies for a while. (I have some hobbies like that: for instance like history, history of philosophy, mysticism, grand social theories, strategy games, learning to play the piano, city planning and architecture as well as concerns regarding economy and politics.)

Actually, some of the above are gender neutral. For instance, for a few years I've been pretty much into mysticism and the paranormal: like out of body experiences, NDE's and stuff. I would love to learn how to have an out of body experience, I just don't seem to manage it. *lol*
So glad to see you positive and doing guy/girl/neutral stuff! Don't forget exercise, Diva, exercise can help.  
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Jen
Joined: 18 Nov 2015, 05:33

12 Aug 2017, 19:59 #4

faithinfantasy wrote: If I were indeed the goddess I want to be, I would find joy in doing so many more things.  But in this original body, I have no desire to do anything at all.  And if there is anything that even remotely requires effort, I become irremediably angry.

My question for everyone is- what things do you either have no interest in doing apart from your dream body, or what things frustrate you if you ever have to do them?  Right off the bat, I'll give an example of one that was both for me.

As for disinterest... in my current state, I have no desire even to walk the streets.  I'd have to get dressed, it is hot outside, and why bother; it's not like I'm going anywhere purposeful anyway.  If I had the body I want, of course, I wouldn't need an excuse to go out; I would love taking my sexy self out into the world.

Now because I sit lethargically all day, I am in one of the unhealthiest shapes in my life, so bad that a friend suggested exercise.  So, I did decide to get off my behind one early afternoon to take a 2-hour walk for the sake of exercise, and it made me explosively angry for the rest of the day, all because of the effort that went into making healthy a body that is lower than dirt to me.
Sorry to hear that you became explosively angry after the walk.  However, I think that the fact that anger came out from your movement means that you are letting steam out.  Did you feel better after that?  I learned somewhere that depression is anger turned within yourself.  Feeling the anger come out might mean that the depression came out.  
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Monique
Joined: 25 Mar 2016, 09:30

12 Aug 2017, 20:43 #5

Jen wrote:
Monique wrote: Damn, you're dysphoric!

Yeah, I guess most of us have been into that hole now and then. I just want you to know I feel for you cause it's pretty horrible. Let Mama Monique hug you and hold you for a while. Now then, kiss on forehead! There's a good girl!

As for your questions, how about going to work? Being expected to show up for drinking beer, watching (violent) movies and engage in guy talk? Being expected to spend time with relatives I don't necessarily like too much. Travel to other countries with guy friends in order to do guy sight-seeing? Cleaning my apartment?

Guess I'm lucky, cause most times I am able to get at least some enjoyment out of most of the above.

Hey, try not to get too angry, frustrated or depressed! There is no point in it and it only saps your spiritual strength and soul.

Here is a trick: Provided there are some male oriented interests you have acquired during your lifetime as a male, let your girl self take a rest and indulge whole heartedly in those interests/hobbies for a while. (I have some hobbies like that: for instance like history, history of philosophy, mysticism, grand social theories, strategy games, learning to play the piano, city planning and architecture as well as concerns regarding economy and politics.)

Actually, some of the above are gender neutral. For instance, for a few years I've been pretty much into mysticism and the paranormal: like out of body experiences, NDE's and stuff. I would love to learn how to have an out of body experience, I just don't seem to manage it. *lol*
So glad to see you positive and doing guy/girl/neutral stuff! Don't forget exercise, Diva, exercise can help.  
Glad to see you around in general. Where have you been, Lotus Girl? 🙂
"We live only to discover beauty. All else is a form of waiting."

- Khalil Gibran


If I cannot be a feminine traditional woman, what's the point of being a woman?

- Me
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Jen
Joined: 18 Nov 2015, 05:33

12 Aug 2017, 20:58 #6

😁 Ranting "inequality" stuff on sites that would have me 😊
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Marney
Joined: 08 May 2017, 11:09

13 Aug 2017, 05:09 #7

A couple years ago my health had deteriorated to the point where I was at risk of some problems. Having kids and not wanting to die young helped motivate me to lose the weight and get fit. But one thing I discovered in transforming myself, was that I could transform myself, I didn't have to be the fat slob, I could be slender just like I always imagined. Suddenly health and exercise were a vehicle to align my body with my dream.

And yes when I go for a run I can get angry about my struggle with gender identity. But that pushes me to work hard, to be closer to where I wish I was.

I know you aren't interested in transition your god give body. But that doesn't mean you can't be the closest to your ideal that you can get. And be beautiful in a way that is truly you and not just a shell you present to the world 😘
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faithinfantasy
Joined: 10 Aug 2017, 10:51

13 Aug 2017, 11:53 #8

I am grateful for the encouragement of everyone, but I also recognize that I'm not yet in any position to be pushed into self-actualization.  That is why my original question was not so much how do I pick myself up again but more basic: are there things you would enjoy doing in your ideal body that you have far less satisfaction in doing as you are ordinarily?

Also like dancing for me.  I would love to dance in that perfect feminine body; I wouldn't even have to be that skilled to look absolutely sexy with every step and every angle.  But instead, dancing as I am is so uninteresting to me that the only way to find any satisfaction at all in it is to become perfectionistic and employ the full range of my technical knowledge with absolute precision.  Anything short of perfection (which is 100% of the time) is a disappointment or worse.
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April
Joined: 17 Nov 2015, 16:32

13 Aug 2017, 16:54 #9

The best way I can explain this at this point in my life is by how dramatically my life has changed since I have gone on my present journey. I am vastly more socially engaging and extroverted; and I have vastly more fun. That seems to me to be a pretty good indication that my old life was limiting. But much of what I so enjoy now, I had no interest in, previously. I suspect because in my male presentation they had little appeal. Yet in observing others who have traveled my path, I can't say that my experience is universal. Inertia is the enemy of transformation, and it becomes insurmountably large when perfection becomes the criteria of success.
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Dawn
Joined: 27 Jul 2017, 08:02

13 Aug 2017, 18:33 #10

I am in agreement with April here. I haven't really been awake long, and certainly haven't gotten out as much as April. Still, the parts of me that woke up were much more social, much more extroverted, and much more capable for accepting me and my 400 lbs male body. Without these parts, it was much easier to hate on and neglect my body. So, I think you may be having a bit of a chicken and egg problem here.
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