Coming out to my son.

A place for significant others or family members to talk about issues they face understanding and relating to crossdreamers

Coming out to my son.

Joined: 24 Apr 2017, 13:31

26 Jun 2017, 02:23 #1

At the end of this Pride Weekend in San Francisco, I am thinking about how to come out to my 9-year-old son.

Today, I present myself to him as a traditional masculine dad.  As far as he knows, I am interested in baseball, history, computers, and other traditional male topics.

I can be this person -- the traditional masculine dad, but I am also femme and gay.

I would like to introduce those parts of my personality to my son.

I think that I have time to figure this out.

But, I think that things will be easier if I introduce the femme and gay parts of my personality to him in a gradual way.

If you have experience coming out to your son, I would love to hear from you.


Joined: 20 Dec 2015, 20:48

26 Jun 2017, 03:13 #2

I came out to both of my sons (individualily) about six months ago. One is 32 and the other 28, so there's a big difference. Both reacted very differently:

28 year old: fascinated with my being trans, wanting to know more. Very supportive, watched YouTube videos and read web links I sent to him.

32 year old: it all fell kind of flat, like, okay, but how about that Giants game? (I'm from the Bay Area too.)

I started off both discussions with something like, since I was about five I always wanted to play on the girls' teams. And then I offered a few details of my experience, and told them that I'm transgender. From there we either had a discussion or, not.

I think with your son it's important to be real, honest, and vulnerable. And try to answer whatever comes up for him, whether it's questions about you or maybe what it might mean for him.

I will add that my meetings with my sons took a real load off my shoulders. Good luck.

Joined: 24 Apr 2017, 13:31

26 Jun 2017, 15:04 #3

Thanks for your message.

I think that I wait a least until he is in college.