bi-gender and alexithymia

JemimahB
Daydreamer
JemimahB
Daydreamer
Joined: 7:24 AM - Jul 18, 2018

8:49 AM - Aug 01, 2018 #1

As I said in my 'intro', I am a 78 year old male who came to realise his TG nature only a few years ago. Even more recently I have begun to wonder if I am bigender, but I may just be a crossdresser with delusions of exclusivity. I have been doing as much investigation as possible. Even before this phase I read a lot. An early comforting read was 'Alice in Genderland' and I have tried the heavyweight stuff such as Lawrence's support of Blanchard and Bailey 'The Man Who Would Be Queen'. Julia Serano's 'Whipping Girl' is well worth the effort. If you dig around the web there are a number of articles and blogs on bigender issues, Andreea Nica at The Establishment and The Neuroethics Blog spring to mind and there is bigender.net which unfortunately I have not been able to register with. Though it does not talk about bigender Sandra M. Lopez 'Midlife Crisis' is a very comprehensive and easy to read analysis of late onset transition. I came across a thread on crossdressers.com on the subject but I do not think that many of the people who posted conformed to any formal definition of bigender. The closest narrative for me is that of Ryan/Ria which is refereed to in a number of places. A difference is that I am not so distressed if I wake up as Jemimah but have to spend the day as Jeremy – probably due to age. The best find was James-Beth Merritt's book 'Bi-Gender: A Candid Non-Binary Memoir'.


Another field where I have been doing research is Alexithymia (The absence of emotion and body awareness). Given that Jeremy and Jemimah have different personalities and different sexuality. It is possible that Jeremy could have Alexithymia and Jemimah not. This could explain differences of emotion, differences of feelings on waking up and greatly different sexual responses. The difficulty with this is the various timescales involved. Alexithymia is usually associated with a traumatic episode early in life while most analysis of the TG spectrum, following Blanchard in fact, provide an early/late separation. There is however Veale and Clarkes 'Identity-Defence Model of Gender-Varience Development' which proposes that all forms of transgenderism (can I use that word) have the same bioneurological basis which means that I can suggest that the same early life trauma which caused Jeremy's Alexithymia also caused the suppression of TG awareness until a later trigger such as hormone levels caused the onset of a TG state. The memory of the early life trauma was itself suppressed – of course and it cannot be being shouted at for wearing my sister's dress because I did not have a sister until I was much older.


Maybe some of you know other references or have other ideas. I would like to hear them even if you think that I am daydreaming rather then crossdreaming. It is all quite scary, probably at any age but especially when hoping to slip quietly into old age. But it does add a new spice to life and I do love the clothes.


PS Forgot the most important reference of all.
Jack Molay 24 April 2012 The bigender sex switchers
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jackmolay
Dream Tamer
jackmolay
Dream Tamer
Joined: 2:24 PM - Nov 16, 2015

7:26 AM - Aug 07, 2018 #2

I agree, these topics are very interesting.

I have included at paper on bigender identities in The CDL Library(which has a lot of interesting papers on gender variance).

There are also papers by Veale there. I have written more about her research here.

As regards Alexithymia, Zinnia Jones article on depersonalisation may be relevant.

As far as I see, the concept of bigender identities strengthen the argument that there is some inborn component to transgender identities, in this the sense that there are certain "directives" so to speak, that compels us to be affirmed as men or women. This does not mean that this "directive" includes a lot of stereotypes as regards how men and women ought to be or behave, only that they should try to find a place in society as this or that gender, regardless of what that culture defines as proper "maleness" or "femaleness".
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JemimahB
Daydreamer
JemimahB
Daydreamer
Joined: 7:24 AM - Jul 18, 2018

1:57 PM - Aug 09, 2018 #3

Jack - Thank you for the 2 references. I had looked at the Bigender Identities paper when I first found your post of April 24 2012 on bigender. I found it a bit difficult to relate to but now that I have read more I need to go over it carefully again. The article by Zinnia Jones and the articles and posts linked to it are, for me, very challenging. I have though of myself as being bigender and therefore in a different place to those who are transitioning but maybe I need to wonder if that is true. The article includes all the concepts which concern me but in the context of transitioning and the effect of HRT but if I am comfortable with my two selfs then some rethinking needs to be done. The suggested links between emotions and potential GD are also interesting though Jeremy has never had a problem with his lack of emotions, just possibly a concern that he might be missing something. The difference in sexual response after HRT talked about in a linked article is like that experienced in the swap between the Jeremy self and the Jemimah self and has been one of the amazing results of my TG progress. All in all, I need to do a lot of work on this and will post something when I feel that I have got somewhere. Finally I need to reread Veale. I think that her main concept is required to complete my arguments.

Thanks again    Jemimah and Jeremy
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SakuraShirayuki
Dream Walker
SakuraShirayuki
Dream Walker
Joined: 2:59 AM - Apr 11, 2018

3:26 AM - Aug 17, 2018 #4

or you could be like us /(^ × ^)\ we have multiple personality disorder kind of like two-face.
i still say hulk and banner
ether way we might be able to help you if you have any questions /(^ × ^)\
unlikely but we can at least try
You can call me Sakura /(^ x ^)\. it is not my real name of course but that is because i have none, i'm not even real :(.
I guess that makes me Shirayuki, I'm the original one of us.
We are both happy to be here =^-^=.
I'm just along for the ride.
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