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Joined: April 12th, 2014, 9:31 pm

April 20th, 2014, 11:41 pm #11

Writer's update: Chapter 3 will be posted soon. Seeing as how I lost power today for an hour or so I decided to write it down in a notebook rather than waste my laptop battery typing it out. Plus I had so many ideas what I could add in this chapter and what to wait off on. I guarantee readers won't be left disappointed.
"Once someone's fate passes through these halls, it locks in place forever." -Sachiko Shinozaki
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Yoshie Shinozaki
Protagonist
Protagonist
Joined: December 25th, 2013, 10:55 pm

April 21st, 2014, 2:30 pm #12

Alrighty then, I've just officially read your chapter and I'm very interested to see how it will play out.
(For some reason, this kinda reminds me of Musume but you know... No Ecchi elements)
I really liked it and I'm looking forward to the next installment.
(Especially since your character is grouped up with the chapter two group for Blood Covered... Repeated Fear... My favorite chapter)
Once again, keep up the good work.
"I Return This Nightmare. I Will Find You. Sleepless, Cloaked In Despair. I'm Behind You. Man Has Made Me Oh So Strong. Blurring Lines Of Right And Wrong. Far Too Late For Frail Amends. Now It's Come To Sweet Revenge. Desperate Hands That Lose Control. Have No Mercy On Your Soul."- Here Comes Revenge By Metallica.
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Shigitou burikaa
Journalist
Journalist
Joined: January 17th, 2014, 3:39 am

April 27th, 2014, 11:42 pm #13

Errr, it's like we are in a competition, and I'm losing. Story-wise anyway.
ste teraz mojej obete. Vitajte v mojom herňa, zvieratko. Ja som teraz mučiť vás.
.
~ポケウォーズ9000™
i am servent to no one.
[+] Spoiler
http://www.myfconline.com/?do=view&type ... _id=264324
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Joined: April 12th, 2014, 9:31 pm

August 1st, 2014, 8:25 pm #14

Writer's Note:SInce I have just gotten back today and, am working on Chapter 3 (As I've noticed from my recent posts I've gotten two chapters mixed up number wise and got ahead of myself) (in which I have corrected the posts number wise and such) it will be posted sometime today. Also I might end up getting it published or something, not sure yet.. Anyhow for now I'll keep working. I hope you all enjoy Chapter 3 when it's finished and posted, keep looking for more installments! (Or I'm going to kill you! *giggle* *giggle*)
"Once someone's fate passes through these halls, it locks in place forever." -Sachiko Shinozaki
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Yoshie Shinozaki
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Joined: December 25th, 2013, 10:55 pm

August 1st, 2014, 8:31 pm #15

Looking forward to it.
Once again, welcome back and best of luck with chapter three.
"I Return This Nightmare. I Will Find You. Sleepless, Cloaked In Despair. I'm Behind You. Man Has Made Me Oh So Strong. Blurring Lines Of Right And Wrong. Far Too Late For Frail Amends. Now It's Come To Sweet Revenge. Desperate Hands That Lose Control. Have No Mercy On Your Soul."- Here Comes Revenge By Metallica.
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Shigitou burikaa
Journalist
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Joined: January 17th, 2014, 3:39 am

August 1st, 2014, 11:57 pm #16

Heh, Since you have been gone. I have worked on my stories and well, they still don't match to yours! In fact, you are what influenced me to write! So keep up the good work.
ste teraz mojej obete. Vitajte v mojom herňa, zvieratko. Ja som teraz mučiť vás.
.
~ポケウォーズ9000™
i am servent to no one.
[+] Spoiler
http://www.myfconline.com/?do=view&type ... _id=264324
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7thPhantom
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Joined: June 8th, 2014, 6:09 am

August 2nd, 2014, 12:39 am #17

oohh...am i getting jealous of your story. it is well written there and character personalities are interesting..interesting story you got there. can't wait for chapter 3.
Time~ Space~ possibilities~ Timelines~ Parallel~ Truths~ Singularity~ Pluralism~.

The Thought that transcends all the worlds will surely save this one~~
Seek a salvation.

Made By Sky bird and Shigitou Burikaa. Arigatou Gozaimasoyo Sky-senpai! and thank you Shigitou-Nii
[+] Spoiler
Made by ShadowHakai. Arigatou Gozaimasuyo Hakai-kun!
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Joined: April 12th, 2014, 9:31 pm

August 3rd, 2014, 3:37 am #18

A slight delay in Chapter 3 being posted yesterday, but as of now I give you, Chapter 3!


Chapter 3: The Onset of Demise and The beginning of an Endless Despair

[+] Spoiler
Yoshiki, Ayumi and I were just wandering around aimlessly, just hoping to run into one of our friends and just in high spirits that the ghost we encountered before was wrong about the closed spaces bit. Yoshiki stayed by my side peering at me every now and then, and I'd smile at him and try and convince him I was fine, but be wouldn't believe me, which was fine with me. Seeing as I liked Yoshiki ever since I first saw him. His blonde hair, and his blueish eyes I always found myself staring into. But he liked Ayumi, that heartless girl can't even put two and two together about Yoshiki liking her, like is too small a word, he loves her, but I have no idea why. "Remmy, are you sure you're okay?" Yoshiki said while peering at me again. "I'm fine Kishinuma-san, really." He stepped in front of me and I bumped into him while he grabbed by hand, and I melted. "Please, call me Yoshiki-kun." And he smiled sincerely at me, and I smiled back. Then he leaned down and kissed my cheek while Ayumi stopped in her tracks, and whirled around and watched him. She came and got between us and glared at me. "You stay away from him, you gaijin!" Yoshiki whirled Ayumi around and started yelling at her for that, like he had had the last straw pulled. "Don't you EVER call her that again, you have no idea what she's been through!" But the conversation was cut short when we heard the feint sount of laughter, and Ayumi peeked around Yoshiki, nodding her head lightly. "That laugh was unmistakable, it's Suzumoto-san!" The three of us looked at one another and nodded in unison and jogged toward the sound of her laughter, and then we heard more than one laugh afterwards, and were confused. Ayumi and Yoshiki went to open the door, and I whispered to them, "Stop! Something isn't right, I have a bad feeling.." The class rep looked back at me with somewhat wide eyes, then ignored my warning and opened the door to the infirmary, and inside sure enough was Mayu Suzumoto, sitting with two ghost girls, one with pigtails was missing her left eye, and the other seemed to have half of her head cut off so all you saw was from the middle where her mouth should be and below, her tongue visible and clearly was cut, and so was the other girls' tongue. Suzumoto looked at us and smiled and the ghost girls stopped giggling and just sat there like statues. "Kishinuma-kun, Shinozaki-san, Remmy-chan!" She said in her sweet voice as she smiled her widest smile. But my stomach was hurting badly and I had to grab it and hunch over to dull the pain just a little bit, and that made Yoshiki come to my side immediately. "Suzumoto-san get away from them, please!" Ayumi pleaded and pleaded but Suzumoto just kept saying the two girl ghosts weren't as bad as we think, and she couldn't leave them alone. And then Ayumi brought up Morishige, and then Suzumoto said to the girls she needed to go find him and that they could join. But that made them snap. They each grabbed one foot each, and picked her up into the air. She screamed and said "Why are you doing this?!" but they just giggled and it sounded so sinister. Then they moved and flew over us with Suzumoto in tow, her screaming. I was the first out of the door and watched as her face was being dragged across the wooden floor, a blood trail forming with tiny bits of flesh left behind and splinters stuck in her fave, and then Ayumi came out just in time to say "No, please stop!" to the girls and then she saw her best friend become a fresh splash of fleshy meat, guts, and intestines. Blood spattered everywhere on the wall and the fleshy bits slid down the wall slowly and I screamed and started sobbing, as well as Ayumi. Kishinuma pulled us both to him and held us as we cried, for Suzumoto, and her gorey horrific demise. Shiori, Takashi, and Serekei continued walking down the hall, watching everywhere they went, except for Takashi. Everytime they passed a corpse he had to stop and examine it like he was so interested he was almost insane. Serekei stopped to examine with him, but he quickly finished and he stood up and started walking, then a loud rumbling thunder exploded into the air and Takashi and Shiori left Serekei all by herself since she didn't notice them leave. Once she got up her head started hurting, thinking it was vertigo since she was leaned over for such a time. Then she noticed she didn't see Takashi and Shiori, she called out to them, but made no answer. She started hyperventilating but quickly calmed herself, and started walking. And then she walked into a little ghost boy who looked at her with wide eyes saying "Give it back .." She started backing away, but he moved swiftly to her and wrapped his little hands around her neck and started squeezing, strangling her and she started squirming. He squeezed harder and demanded she "Give it baaaaack!" And with his final squeeze she heard a crack, and she started making noises as blood seeped from her mouth, and she lay on the ground with her neck shattered into pieces. Her vision went red and then everything went dark, and she managed to get out this sentence before she died, "I will come for you, for leaving me, Takashi and Shiori.."
I hope you all enjoy Chapter 3, because Chapter 4 comes next and is in the starting process of being written!

"Once someone's fate passes through these halls, it locks in place forever." -Sachiko Shinozaki
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Yoshie Shinozaki
Protagonist
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Joined: December 25th, 2013, 10:55 pm

August 4th, 2014, 10:46 pm #19

First off, sorry I'm late for this.
I really enjoyed this chapter and the chemistry between Remmy and Yoshiki, so far.
(I also liked the ending of the chapter...)
Keep it up.
"I Return This Nightmare. I Will Find You. Sleepless, Cloaked In Despair. I'm Behind You. Man Has Made Me Oh So Strong. Blurring Lines Of Right And Wrong. Far Too Late For Frail Amends. Now It's Come To Sweet Revenge. Desperate Hands That Lose Control. Have No Mercy On Your Soul."- Here Comes Revenge By Metallica.
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Joined: April 12th, 2014, 9:31 pm

June 3rd, 2018, 11:14 pm #20

Hello all vengeful and peaceful spirits. It's been.. well four years since I last posted something (and I'm sorry to leave some of you on a cliff hanger with my story..) but I'm back yet again. Since being away I have worked and written more on my CoPa spin-off story and have a lot of material for all of you. So, I can't wait to share it with you all!
"Once someone's fate passes through these halls, it locks in place forever." -Sachiko Shinozaki
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