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The Mothership wrote:Verne was teeing off from the men's tee. On his downswing, he realized that his wife, Joy, was teeing up on the woman's tee directly in front of him. Unable to stop his swing, he nailed it, and hit her directly in the temple, killing her instantly.
A few days later, Verne got a call from the coroner regarding her autopsy.
Coroner: "Verne, your wife seemed to have died from blunt force-trauma to the head. You said you hit a golf ball and hit her in the temple, is that correct?"
Verne: "Yes, sir, that's correct."
Coroner: "Well, inexplicably I found a golf ball wedged up her anus."
Verne: "Was it a Titleist 3?"
Coroner: "Yes, it was."
Verne: "That was my mulligan."
He has resigned so he no longer is my commanding officer, but I should lay it low.The Mothership wrote:Can't you be Court-Marshaled for making fun of a superior officer? (I won't tell, Fan.)
He just has a bad motivator.The Mothership wrote:I don't see the difference.
With the Holidays upon us I would like to share a personal experience with my friends about drinking and driving.
As you may know some of us have been known to have brushes with the authorities from time to time on the way home after a "social session" out with friends.
Well two days ago I was out for an evening with friends and had several cocktails followed by some rather nice red wine. Feeling jolly I still had the sense to know that I may be slightly over the limit. That's when I did something that I've never done before - I took a cab home.
Sure enough on the way home there was a police road block but since it was a cab they waved it past. I arrived home safely without incident. This was a real surprise as I had never taken a cab before, I don't know where I got it and now that it's in my garage I don't know what to do with it.