Asylum 1 - Backstage Fallout

Joined: March 5th, 2013, 2:50 pm

March 21st, 2013, 11:07 am #1

Asylum 1 has just gone off the air, and we see BAW CEO CCM (Three straight initialisms, BOOYAH) who is desperately trying to ignore a pair of manic masked Mexican mamacitas who are yelling at him. Finally getting sick of the yapping, he turns around and faces them.

CCM: What the hell do you want?!

Stardust: Hey, we no exactly happy--

Meteora: YOU! YOU WALKING PUDDLE OF DISEASED DONKEY PISS! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE?! YOU CALL THAT FAIR AND UNBIASED THAT WAS ABOUT AS FAIR TO MEXICANS AS FUCKING TEXAS!

Stardust: No Meteora we can talk to Senor CCM and he--

Meteora: TEXAS! MIERDA!

Stardust: What Meteora is trying to say, is we feel your call to allow someone not involved in the match to make an decisive fall was... perhaps a little questionable?

Meteora: BULLSHIT! INJUSTICE A STINKING PILE OF PERRO DO-DOO!

CCM: Okay girls, okay. I’m not a certified referee, and I’m happy to admit I made a mistake. And it is only right that the two of you should have a rematch. At least it was. Right up until the point where you called me a walking puddle of diseased donkey piss...

Stardust sighs.

Stardust: I told you to let me handle this...

Meteora: CCM you should change name to CPA!

CCM: What?

Meteora CERTIFIED PUBLIC ASSHOLE! YOU CHEAT YOU LIE AND YOU STOLE OUR WIN WITH THAT HUGE ASS NEGRO PUTANA!

Stardust: Can we rephrase it to sizeable badonkadonk on a black woman?

Meteora: I KNOW WHAT I MEANT!

CCM: Yes, Meteora, we all know what you meant. You know what? Fine. You will have a match next week against two members of Combat Rawk. And the other two will be barred from ringside. Do we have a deal?

Meteora: Why? So you can have them ref the match? They can’t be ringside if they in ring, I know your tricks CPA! I ON TO YOU!

Stardust: CCM, his name is senor CCM...

Meteora: I KNOW HIS NAME!

CCM: Not at ringside, not in the ring, not in the crowd, not swinging from the rafters playing the bloody kazoo. Okay?

Stardust: Aww I like kazoo

Meteora: No! NO KAZOO!

She glares at CCM.

Meteora: You got a deal, but if those two putanas show up, ANYWHERE near the match, I will--

She floods out a rather fluent flood of Spanish obsceneties.

CCM: Yeah... sorry, I don’t speak Dutch. Look, you’ve got your matches.

Stardust: Match...ES?

CCM: Right! Stardust, you will face Mickey & Steph. Meteora, you will face Raquel & Christa. And if I hear another damn word out of either of you, your sodding masks will be on the line. Got it?!

Stardust grabs Meteora’s face, desperately trying to stop her from saying anything else. CCM then walks into his office, and slams the door. Stardust removes her hand, wiping it on her mask.

Stardust: You spitted on my hand...

She glares at her then at the slammed door taking few steps closer and hocking a massive spit on CCM’s door.

Meteora: ..now I spitted on his door too, you be happy, but we be far from even with Wombat Rock! You see!

The Rudos storm off, and we fade to black.


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