Mother's Day

Mother's Day

Tony Borders
Tony Borders

May 6th, 2012, 3:02 pm #1

Just in case some of us have a Mother's Day presentation I thought it would be nice if we shared something we like. Here is a poem I wrote many moons ago that I like.

Mom says that life's a peach,
if I would only make my bed.
There is nothing I can't reach,
if I would only make my bed.

I don't think she means to preach,
she simply wants to teach,
that good things will come to each of us,
who only make our beds.
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Suzie
Suzie

May 6th, 2012, 3:36 pm #2

Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning. the Devil says. "Oh No! She's up!"
I don't know who wrote that, but I like it.
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Tony Borders
Tony Borders

May 6th, 2012, 9:36 pm #3

Just in case some of us have a Mother's Day presentation I thought it would be nice if we shared something we like. Here is a poem I wrote many moons ago that I like.

Mom says that life's a peach,
if I would only make my bed.
There is nothing I can't reach,
if I would only make my bed.

I don't think she means to preach,
she simply wants to teach,
that good things will come to each of us,
who only make our beds.
by Tony Borders (Best used by a small boy or girl puppet behind a stage.)

For Mother's Day this year I drove my mother crazy.
She first began to fear, when I quit acting lazy.
I arose before her, but kept quite 'til she woke.
When I dressed myself for church, I thought she'd have a stroke.

I helped her cook our breakfast, and I even set the table.
And I put away the dishes, as much as I was able.
As we drove to church, I buckled up without a fume.
I worked real hard on Mother's card in crafts in my classroom.

As we drove home I sang a song Mom used to sing to me.
I hummed the words I didn't know in perfect harmony.
I used all the proper words, "Thank you!" "Please!" and "Mother may I?"
When I asked, "How can I help you?" my mom began to cry.

(slow the pace here)
I tried to think of what I'd done to make her feel so sad.
I'd tried all day to be my best! I guess I'm just plain bad.
The smile I'd worn since I awoke now turned into a frown.
Somehow I'd ruined her Mother's Day. Warm tears came rolling down.

"Oh, my! Don't cry!" Mom dried my tears. "You're such a help to me!"
She hugged me tight and kissed my head. "I cry when I'm happy!"
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Tony Borders
Tony Borders

May 6th, 2012, 10:12 pm #4

Just in case some of us have a Mother's Day presentation I thought it would be nice if we shared something we like. Here is a poem I wrote many moons ago that I like.

Mom says that life's a peach,
if I would only make my bed.
There is nothing I can't reach,
if I would only make my bed.

I don't think she means to preach,
she simply wants to teach,
that good things will come to each of us,
who only make our beds.
These are Momisms from a book by that title. Barbour press
I am putting them, if possible, into vent form.

Vent: Being a mother isn't an easy job.
Figure: No! If it was then fathers would do it. (source unknown)

Vent: George Washington was the father of our country.
Fig.: Who was the mother?
Vent: There was no mother mentioned.
Fig: OH! That's why the country still needs to be changed! (-Tony Borders (not in the Momisms book)

"Cleaning up while children are around is like shoveling during a blizzard." (source unknown)

Fig: My teenage daughter thinks I'm too nosy.
Vent: Wow! I'm surprised she said that to you.
Fig: She didn't. I read it in her diary. (source unknown)

Vent: Do you know how many mothers are working mothers.
Fig: Yes.
Vent: How many?
Fig: ALL of them! (source unknown)

Figure: There is absolutely no way to be a perfect mother.
Vent: Really?
Figure: Yes. But there are a million ways to be a good mother. (source: Jill Churchill)

Vent: Wouldn't you agree that children brighten a home?
Figure: Yes. They never turn off the lights. (source unknown)

Fig: My mother used to think I was Jesus.
Vent: What?
Fig: She would look at me and say, "Were you born in a barn?" (Tony Borders)

On Mother's Day you give your mom a present. In return she gives you a past and a future. (Tony Borders)

If evolution really works how come mothers only have two hands? (Milton Berle)

Vent: Have you noticed what pickey eaters kids are?
Fig: Yes.
Vent: Are you a picky eater.
Fig: Not anymore.
Vent: What stopped you?
Fig: My mother always gave me two choices for dinner.
Vent: Really?
Fig: Take it or leave it. (Source Buddy Hackett)
Vent: Did your mother ask you what you would like for dinner?
Fig: Only if I was buying. (source Fran Lebowitz)

Vent: Mother's show their love by the things they say.
Fig: And the things the keep from saying. (Tony Borders)

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them. (Phyllis Diller)

Tell your children that before drive-thrus you had something called leftovers. (Tony Borders)

Motherhood is the only job with no vacation days. (Anne Morrow Lindbergh)

Teenagers can manipulate several controls on a computer game, but can't find the on button for the vacuum cleaner.



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Joined: February 8th, 2011, 11:46 pm

May 7th, 2012, 1:01 am #5

Just in case some of us have a Mother's Day presentation I thought it would be nice if we shared something we like. Here is a poem I wrote many moons ago that I like.

Mom says that life's a peach,
if I would only make my bed.
There is nothing I can't reach,
if I would only make my bed.

I don't think she means to preach,
she simply wants to teach,
that good things will come to each of us,
who only make our beds.
This is off the subject of puppets, but Psycho makes a great Mother's Day movie.

Thanks
Rog

I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I know that fully well.
Ps. 139 [NIV]
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Tony Borders
Tony Borders

May 7th, 2012, 4:16 am #6

Just in case some of us have a Mother's Day presentation I thought it would be nice if we shared something we like. Here is a poem I wrote many moons ago that I like.

Mom says that life's a peach,
if I would only make my bed.
There is nothing I can't reach,
if I would only make my bed.

I don't think she means to preach,
she simply wants to teach,
that good things will come to each of us,
who only make our beds.
Best laugh I had all day! Thanks, Rog!

Other sickening Mother greats:

Sing the lyrics to Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen.

Watch "Throw Momma From the Train" with your mother.

Summer reads: "Mommie Dearest" or "Flowers in the Attic".

I offered to take my mother out to dinner. Just she, me, and her lawyer so we could go over her will.



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