(you know who you are ParisIsPissedOff),
this is the thread to even out the
laughing at 50-something year old pop star women for looking manly and unattractive commentary
(if they left John Kerry and Michael Moore off the list, their anti-conservative bias ruined this list):
Top 100 Un-Sexy Males of 2008
-  TOM BRADY
Oh, how quickly we turn on our heroes! Once a loveable Everyman, he's now an overexposed, supermodel-dating, out-of-wedlock-fathering, big-game-losing metrosexual with a bowl haircut.
 JERRY YANG
Yahoo's Chinese-American founder allowed his company to give up the IP address of a Chinese Yahoo subscriber who'd criticized the Chinese government, resulting in that guy's arrest, torture, and imprisonment. May your wang get run over by a Communist tank.
 FAT EMINEM
It's entirely possible that the rumors of Mr. Mathers's weight problem have been taken pardon the pun out of proportion. But
if packing on a few pounds is keeping him out of the spotlight, then we can't really say we mind all that much.
Note to Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane: nothing screams hilarity like jokes about date rape!
 DREW CAREY
Since being demoted from unfunny sitcoms to warmed-over game shows, Drew Carey has been a walking advertisement for misery.
 ADNAN GHALIB
One of the saddest small details of Britney Spears's recent downward spiral was her being spotted dating the very bottom-feeding parasites who've turned her life into a horror show of never-ending surveillance. In this celebrity version of Stockholm syndrome, Adnan was puppetmaster general.
 JOEL OSTEEN
An enabler for religious extremists like Mike Huckabee, this unusually creepy empire-building Bible thumper and his wife, Victoria, have turned the word of the Lord into a self-serving virus of positive thoughts and financial-planning advice. Oh, and he looks like a flesh robot made from the worst traits of Martin Short, Tony Robbins, and Steve Guttenberg.
 GENE SIMMONS
Dude, put the makeup back on! Seldom has a man whose sole raison d'être seems to be seducing the opposite sex been so profoundly unsexy. The towering arrogance. The creepy lasciviousness of that serpentine tongue. The long-standing rumors that he wears a wig. The Gene Simmons reality show, the Gene Simmons magazine, the claims that he has bedded 4800 women, and the accompanying lie-detector test. And if you think any of that is gross, don't even bother googling "Gene Simmons face-lift."
 BILL CLINTON
It's not just that he rhino'd his wife's sure-fire shot at following his presidency after all, the last time Bill screwed over Hillary, his approval ratings (and his sex appeal) went through the roof. No, it's also that Father Time has not been kind to him. The alabaster ex-prez's grandmotherly demeanor that bulbous nose! that wiry white hair! now conjures none of his notorious past as Oval Office blowjob king, but instead reveals a souring senior citizen sapped by a soul-sopping marriage seemingly a sexless one. And rightly so.
 CHRIS CROCKER
TOO MANY TEARDROPS FOR ONE HEART TO BE CRYIN'
An androgynous vlogger there's an appealing phrase, eh? piled on a disturbing amount of eyeliner and turned on the sprinklers in his shrieking YouTube plea to "leave Britney alone!" It was an act that suggested Edmund Muskie in a Madonna video. Somewhere, John Waters is writing his next movie.
 PEREZ HILTON
Responsible newsman Perez Hilton (née Mario Armando Lavandeira Jr.) operates a cruel, bafflingly popular Web site about celebrities on which he posts unflattering photographs and defaces them with childish lettering and crude insults.
The poodle-faced, pudgy, sometimes-pink-haired, openly gay blogger also has a penchant for outing actors who don't exactly want their sexual preferences discussed in the public sphere.
We don't know who loathes him more, the closeted gays whom he shuns for wanting privacy, or the straight stars whom he mocks for being fat, ugly, bitchy, or all of the above. On that last count, at least, pot calling the kettle black, much?
 DR. PHIL
As if Britney Spears's sorry-ass life couldn't reach a lower low, her parents apparently foisted TV celebrity-parasite Dr. Phil McGraw on her while she was checked into a mental hospital. Could that get any worse?
If you already felt like heaving yourself repeatedly onto a rusty pile of sharp nails, how were you supposed to have been helped by the unwelcome appearance of a self-serving mustachioed blowhard with a "Dueling Banjos" drawl?
 TOM CRUISE
No matter if he's chiding other luminaries for their birthing preferences, or establishing vertical-leap records off sofas, we already knew Tom was nuts he had us at "Hello, I'm insane."
Now, though, it seems he's gone fully Cruisazy, starring in an off-the-cuckoo-charts, straight-to-YouTube promotional vid for Scientology. Highlight, among many: "Being a Scientologist, when you drive past an accident, it's not like anyone else. As you drive past, you know you have to do something about it, because you know you're the only one that can really help."
That's great, Tom. Now if you'll just bust out the Google Maps and plan a field trip with some of your Scientologist buddies to drive past Darfur.