Self Restraint

Self Restraint

Joined: May 4th, 2005, 1:31 pm

February 9th, 2010, 5:59 pm #1

Not looking for agreement with this post, but have been reflecting a little on the idea of restraint, balancing of course with honesty -- but also mindful of what particular goal we may be trying to achieve at any given time, and whether our words or actions are constructive towards achieving that goal.

Below is an excerpt fromhttp://www.hinduism.co.za/self-res.htm



Self-restraint, according to all virtuous persons, is the highest of virtues in this world. Through self-restraint, O foremost of men, a person acquires the highest happiness both here and hereafter. Endued with self-restraint, one acquires great virtue. The self-restrained man sleeps in felicity and awakes in felicity, and moves through the world in felicity. His mind is always cheerful. The man who is without self-restraint always suffers misery. Such a man brings upon himself many calamities all born of his own faults. It has been said that in all the four modes of life self-restraint is the best of vows.

I shall now tell thee those indications whose sum total is called self-restraint. Forgiveness, patience, abstention from injury, impartiality, truth, sincerity, conquest of senses, cleverness, mildness, modesty, steadiness, liberality, freedom from wrath, contentment, sweetness of speech, benevolence, freedom from malice; the union of all these is self-restraint.

It also consists, O son of Kuru, of veneration for the preceptor and universal compassion. The self-restrained man avoids both adulation and slander. Depravity, infamy, false speech, lust, covetousness, pride, arrogance, self-glorification, fear, envy and disrespect are all avoided by the self-restrained man. He never incurs obloquy. He is free from envy. He is never gratified with small acquisitions (in the form of earthly happiness of any kind). He is even like the ocean, which can never be filled.

The man of self-restraint is never bound by the attachments that arise from earthly connections like to those involved in sentiments like these: `I am thine, Thou art thine, They are in me, and I am in them.' Such a man, who adopts the practices of either cities, or the woods, and who never indulges in slander or adulation, attains to emancipation. Practising universal friendliness, and possessed of virtuous behaviour, of cheerful soul and endued with knowledge of soul, and liberated from the diverse attachments of the earth, great is the reward that such a person obtains in the world to me. Of excellent conduct and observant of duties, of cheerful soul and possessed of learning and knowledge of self, such a man wins esteem while here and attains to a high end hereafter. All acts that are regarded as good on earth, all those acts that are practised by the righteous, constitute the path of the ascetic possessed of knowledge.


If you understand, things are just as they are; if you do not understand, things are just as they are.
~ Gensha

Wide Open Bible Forum - - - - Many Paths




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Joined: January 13th, 2010, 2:50 pm

February 9th, 2010, 6:01 pm #2

I know... I know... It always comes when you're not looking for it.
Last edited by ever-a-newbie on February 9th, 2010, 6:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Joined: May 4th, 2005, 1:31 pm

February 9th, 2010, 6:17 pm #3

When you're going to ignore me or not.

Has the pebble been snatched from my hand, Grasshopper?

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Joined: January 13th, 2010, 2:50 pm

February 9th, 2010, 6:42 pm #4


Who needs a pebble, anyway? It was a peculiar test, puppet-master.
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Joined: May 4th, 2005, 1:31 pm

February 9th, 2010, 7:26 pm #5

I wasn't expecting it in my shoe.

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Joined: November 4th, 2006, 5:18 pm

February 10th, 2010, 12:32 am #6

Not looking for agreement with this post, but have been reflecting a little on the idea of restraint, balancing of course with honesty -- but also mindful of what particular goal we may be trying to achieve at any given time, and whether our words or actions are constructive towards achieving that goal.

Below is an excerpt fromhttp://www.hinduism.co.za/self-res.htm



Self-restraint, according to all virtuous persons, is the highest of virtues in this world. Through self-restraint, O foremost of men, a person acquires the highest happiness both here and hereafter. Endued with self-restraint, one acquires great virtue. The self-restrained man sleeps in felicity and awakes in felicity, and moves through the world in felicity. His mind is always cheerful. The man who is without self-restraint always suffers misery. Such a man brings upon himself many calamities all born of his own faults. It has been said that in all the four modes of life self-restraint is the best of vows.

I shall now tell thee those indications whose sum total is called self-restraint. Forgiveness, patience, abstention from injury, impartiality, truth, sincerity, conquest of senses, cleverness, mildness, modesty, steadiness, liberality, freedom from wrath, contentment, sweetness of speech, benevolence, freedom from malice; the union of all these is self-restraint.

It also consists, O son of Kuru, of veneration for the preceptor and universal compassion. The self-restrained man avoids both adulation and slander. Depravity, infamy, false speech, lust, covetousness, pride, arrogance, self-glorification, fear, envy and disrespect are all avoided by the self-restrained man. He never incurs obloquy. He is free from envy. He is never gratified with small acquisitions (in the form of earthly happiness of any kind). He is even like the ocean, which can never be filled.

The man of self-restraint is never bound by the attachments that arise from earthly connections like to those involved in sentiments like these: `I am thine, Thou art thine, They are in me, and I am in them.' Such a man, who adopts the practices of either cities, or the woods, and who never indulges in slander or adulation, attains to emancipation. Practising universal friendliness, and possessed of virtuous behaviour, of cheerful soul and endued with knowledge of soul, and liberated from the diverse attachments of the earth, great is the reward that such a person obtains in the world to me. Of excellent conduct and observant of duties, of cheerful soul and possessed of learning and knowledge of self, such a man wins esteem while here and attains to a high end hereafter. All acts that are regarded as good on earth, all those acts that are practised by the righteous, constitute the path of the ascetic possessed of knowledge.


If you understand, things are just as they are; if you do not understand, things are just as they are.
~ Gensha

Wide Open Bible Forum - - - - Many Paths



In all these situations we need self-restraint, honest analysis of what is
involved, a willingness to admit when the fault is ours, and an equal
willingness to forgive when the fault is elsewhere. We need not be discouraged
when we fall into the error of our old ways, for these disciplines are not
easy. We shall look for progress, not for perfection.
Our first objective will be the development of self restraint. This carries a
top priority rating. When we speak or act hastily or rashly, the ability to be
fair-minded and tolerant evaporates on the spot. One unkind tirade or one
willful snap judgment can ruin our relation with another person for a whole
day, or maybe a whole year. Nothing pays off like restraint of tongue and pen.
We must avoid quick-tempered criticism and furious, power-driven argument. The
same goes for sulking or silent scorn. These are emotional booby traps baited
with pride and vengefulness. Our first job is to sidestep the traps. When we
are tempted by the bait, we should train ourselves to step back and think. For
we can neither think nor act to good purpose until the habit of self-restraint
has become automatic.
Disagreeable or unexpected problems are not the only ones that call for
self-control. We must be quite as careful when we begin to achieve some measure
of importance and material success. For no people have ever loved personal
triumphs more than we have loved them; we drank of success as of a wine which
could never fail to make us feel elated. When temporary good fortune came our
way, we indulged ourselves in fantasies of still greater victories over people
and circumstances. Thus blinded by prideful self confidence, we were apt to
play the big shot. Of course, people turned away from us, bored or hurt.
Now that we're in A.A. and sober, and winning back the esteem of our friends
and business associates, we find that we still need to exercise special
vigilance. As an insurance against "big-shot-ism" we can often check ourselves
by remembering that we are today sober only by the grace of God and that any
success we may be having is far more His success than ours.
Finally, we begin to see that all people, including ourselves, are to some
extent emotionally ill as well as frequently wrong, and then we approach true
tolerance and see what real love for our fellows actually means. It will become
more and more evident as we go forward that it is pointless to become angry, or
to get hurt by people who, like us, are suffering from the pains of growing up.

Source - Alcoholics Anonymous
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions
Pages 26-27





"Making friends - the highest calling"<i></i>

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