Bra addiction, and Passing the torch

Bra addiction, and Passing the torch

Joined: March 20th, 2004, 6:34 pm

August 29th, 2004, 7:44 pm #1

Hello all - I've been reading just not posting lately! Anyhow, an ongoing issue with my youngest daughter provoked this post. The issue with her is her avid bra-wearing. Since she started wearing a bra, she's worn one 24/7. Yes, even to bed. Well, if that isnt bad enough, for the past few months she's been wearing TWO BRAS during the day, one over the other. I decided at the time to let it slide as it may just be a phase. Well, it's not stopping! I told her that it's healtheir to wear just one bra, and to not wear a bra to bed if she could. Again, my words have fallen on deaf ears. I ask all mothers (and dads to a degree), how would u handle this situation? I really dont want to affect her self esteem, and if bras help her with confidence so be it.

Also

I've mentioned both my middle and older daughters arent wearers themselves (middle one never wears a bra, older seldom wears a bra). In my case, they've both chosen to forego their bras with little intervention on my part, save perhaps the influence of myself going free all their lives. My question to the moms out there, what have you done (if anything) to influence your daughter's bra-wearing or free-boobing ways? Do you take an active approach, or lead just by example?



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michaela
michaela

August 29th, 2004, 10:35 pm #2

Both! Obviously I am an example by the fact that I do not wear a bra, ever. But I have also explained as carefully as I can about the possibility of the harmful restriction of the lymphatic system and the possible outcome. I don't see any reason to hold back giving this information. If it could possibly be harmful to wear a bra, I want my girls to know about it so they can weigh it against peer pressure and all the other reasons that girls think they must wear bras.
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Joined: March 20th, 2004, 6:34 pm

August 29th, 2004, 11:59 pm #3

Michaela what in a nutshell is the bra-wearing history of your daughter(s)? (I believe I recall you had at least one daughter who goes free) Im curious to know what were the influences (outside of yourself) that caused their decisions to bra or not to bra in the end. I suspect alot of it is age-related, as they get comfortable in their own skin, they build the confidence to try going without (that's been the case for one of mine) Also, how does their peer groups react?

I believe my youngest isnt the only one who went thru the double bra phase, considering her age (14) and social pressures of a teen at that age. I also think it's the novelty of being able to wear a bra which causes her to wear. Hey, I thought it was way cool when I started wearing them way back when too!

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michaela
michaela

August 30th, 2004, 12:30 am #4

Well for my youngest the answer is a no brainer...she is a fifth grader and hasn't sprouted anything quite yet. She is very tall and very thin so it may be a little while before she has to decide. But she has said that she doesn't want to wear, but who knows how she will feel when she has something to worry about.

My oldest was a senior in high school when I told her about my reasons for ditching the bra completely. she had always seen me take off my bra while I was driving down the road, and go bra free at home and out to places that were considered casual. But when I decided to go completely free I explained that I had just had a little scare with a lump and why I was choosing to never wear bras again.

She was attending a charter school that is full of artist type kids who wear the opposite of the trendy preppy stuff and so she didn't feel any pressure to look anything like a Barbie doll. She is bustier then me and so I wondered at first when she said she would like to try going brafree if she would do alright with all the movement. She barely sees any movement on her mom. But she adapted to it without a hitch. She went her entire senior year bra free, and was even the prom queen. Then went her freshman year in college, never had a problem, and is now married to her high school sweet heart and still happily brafree.

I also don't remember her ever getting all that excited about her first bras.

I believe she even influenced at least one girl to free boob. This girl was reluctant because she is very small breasted and thought the bras at least made her look like she had something. But before we knew it she was bra free too, and last I heard, she had her nipples pierced!

I think it all depends on the girl. I don't understand at all why any girl would ever want to wear two bras. I don't get why the sleeping with one either. Did you ever ask her why sleep with, why two? Did you get an answer? I'd be real interested in what she had to say about that. I just don't know how any one can stand them for longer than a school day from a comfort stand point. Heck, i couldn't stand them that long. Maybe I just have more sensitive skin than others do where elastics go.

hope this helps a little.
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Joined: March 20th, 2004, 6:34 pm

August 30th, 2004, 1:33 am #5

Michaela sounds like your daughters are full of confidence and independence, good on them and good on you for your great parenting job! I really need to introduce my youngest to your daughter!

Your oldest sounds very much like my middle one, a confident free spirit, and now a fulltime free-boober as well. Her story was much the same, and she was very direct about wanting to try it once she heard my reasons for foregoing my bras altogether. She's busty as well, and has no trouble with the movement, although she wears a tight tank under loose tops when it is bothersome.

As for my youngest, I am at a loss other than it's a novelty, and perhaps her own insecurity which is causing her to overbra it. In discussion with my partner, we agreed that I am going to start going topfree around the house more often, with the hopes of letting the youngest know that breasts are natural, and beautiful, and not to be ashamed of. I will also educate her of the benefits of freeboobing, and the pitfalls and hazzards of overdoing the wearing.

I am going to have a discussion with her on it this week, and will let you know the results. I dont expect much initially, but at the very least it will provoke her to at least try going without to bed...and maybe by day as well.
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Joined: August 10th, 2004, 6:40 pm

August 30th, 2004, 5:07 am #6

Hello all - I've been reading just not posting lately! Anyhow, an ongoing issue with my youngest daughter provoked this post. The issue with her is her avid bra-wearing. Since she started wearing a bra, she's worn one 24/7. Yes, even to bed. Well, if that isnt bad enough, for the past few months she's been wearing TWO BRAS during the day, one over the other. I decided at the time to let it slide as it may just be a phase. Well, it's not stopping! I told her that it's healtheir to wear just one bra, and to not wear a bra to bed if she could. Again, my words have fallen on deaf ears. I ask all mothers (and dads to a degree), how would u handle this situation? I really dont want to affect her self esteem, and if bras help her with confidence so be it.

Also

I've mentioned both my middle and older daughters arent wearers themselves (middle one never wears a bra, older seldom wears a bra). In my case, they've both chosen to forego their bras with little intervention on my part, save perhaps the influence of myself going free all their lives. My question to the moms out there, what have you done (if anything) to influence your daughter's bra-wearing or free-boobing ways? Do you take an active approach, or lead just by example?


Just take the bra's away from her for a long while and if she like going braless or not.
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Joined: April 11th, 2004, 7:40 pm

August 30th, 2004, 1:15 pm #7

Hello all - I've been reading just not posting lately! Anyhow, an ongoing issue with my youngest daughter provoked this post. The issue with her is her avid bra-wearing. Since she started wearing a bra, she's worn one 24/7. Yes, even to bed. Well, if that isnt bad enough, for the past few months she's been wearing TWO BRAS during the day, one over the other. I decided at the time to let it slide as it may just be a phase. Well, it's not stopping! I told her that it's healtheir to wear just one bra, and to not wear a bra to bed if she could. Again, my words have fallen on deaf ears. I ask all mothers (and dads to a degree), how would u handle this situation? I really dont want to affect her self esteem, and if bras help her with confidence so be it.

Also

I've mentioned both my middle and older daughters arent wearers themselves (middle one never wears a bra, older seldom wears a bra). In my case, they've both chosen to forego their bras with little intervention on my part, save perhaps the influence of myself going free all their lives. My question to the moms out there, what have you done (if anything) to influence your daughter's bra-wearing or free-boobing ways? Do you take an active approach, or lead just by example?


Kath,

knowing kids, and given the extreme of double braing, I have to wonder if her position is not a reaction to your own stand.

My suggestion would be lead by example, certainly, be natural about breasts, certainly, but be cautious about initiating discussions unless she brings it up. If she feels pressured you may find yourself with a triple bra daughter.

It is a free choice and I would not support taking away her bras!

<font color=”551188” face="Helvetica"> Michael </font>
[color=blue" face="Helvetica]”Just Do It!”[/color]
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Joined: April 11th, 2004, 7:40 pm

August 30th, 2004, 1:35 pm #8

Well for my youngest the answer is a no brainer...she is a fifth grader and hasn't sprouted anything quite yet. She is very tall and very thin so it may be a little while before she has to decide. But she has said that she doesn't want to wear, but who knows how she will feel when she has something to worry about.

My oldest was a senior in high school when I told her about my reasons for ditching the bra completely. she had always seen me take off my bra while I was driving down the road, and go bra free at home and out to places that were considered casual. But when I decided to go completely free I explained that I had just had a little scare with a lump and why I was choosing to never wear bras again.

She was attending a charter school that is full of artist type kids who wear the opposite of the trendy preppy stuff and so she didn't feel any pressure to look anything like a Barbie doll. She is bustier then me and so I wondered at first when she said she would like to try going brafree if she would do alright with all the movement. She barely sees any movement on her mom. But she adapted to it without a hitch. She went her entire senior year bra free, and was even the prom queen. Then went her freshman year in college, never had a problem, and is now married to her high school sweet heart and still happily brafree.

I also don't remember her ever getting all that excited about her first bras.

I believe she even influenced at least one girl to free boob. This girl was reluctant because she is very small breasted and thought the bras at least made her look like she had something. But before we knew it she was bra free too, and last I heard, she had her nipples pierced!

I think it all depends on the girl. I don't understand at all why any girl would ever want to wear two bras. I don't get why the sleeping with one either. Did you ever ask her why sleep with, why two? Did you get an answer? I'd be real interested in what she had to say about that. I just don't know how any one can stand them for longer than a school day from a comfort stand point. Heck, i couldn't stand them that long. Maybe I just have more sensitive skin than others do where elastics go.

hope this helps a little.
Ummm....Michaela when did breasts become 'something to worry about'?

<font color=”551188” face="Helvetica"> Michael </font>
[color=blue" face="Helvetica]”Just Do It!”[/color]
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michaela
michaela

August 30th, 2004, 2:30 pm #9

I don't know...why don't you ask the little girl who wears two bras, and sleeps in them.
I personally don't think they are anything to worry about, but we were talking about the little girls who think they are.
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michaela
michaela

August 30th, 2004, 2:33 pm #10

Kath,

knowing kids, and given the extreme of double braing, I have to wonder if her position is not a reaction to your own stand.

My suggestion would be lead by example, certainly, be natural about breasts, certainly, but be cautious about initiating discussions unless she brings it up. If she feels pressured you may find yourself with a triple bra daughter.

It is a free choice and I would not support taking away her bras!

<font color=”551188” face="Helvetica"> Michael </font>
[color=blue" face="Helvetica]”Just Do It!”[/color]
I would never think of taking away a bra either. This is a choice for the girl to make. And in no way should be thought of as a reward or punishment issue, David. You can't just take away the bras.
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