Need support - just found out co-worker is pregnant

Need support - just found out co-worker is pregnant

Joined: February 6th, 2007, 12:57 am

September 12th, 2011, 11:37 pm #1

I have been kinda quiet the last several months, but a co-worker just pulled me aside to tell me she is pregnant. She knows how long I've been trying and wanted to tell me before announcing wide, which I appreciate. We are a small office of 15 people, so this is going to be really tough for me. I'm happy for her, but just so sad for myself. How have those of you handled watching someones baby bump grow. I know it is a common issue....but since my company is so small, this is the first time I'm having to deal with it. Ugh.....I need to get out of here so I can cry.

xoxo, Tracy


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Suz43
Suz43

September 13th, 2011, 12:20 am #2

Today I noticed 3 pg women on the streets..and they were not young. Every where we go we have constant reminders--someone younger trying, someone succeeding. We have enough tears to cause a flood. And although we can carry on our lives normally, the emptiness and fear seem to always be there...with another tear hanging on for dear life. So the fact it's so close to you now, makes it so much harder. But I hope these will just be temporary feelings. You focus on YOU.
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Joined: February 6th, 2007, 12:57 am

September 13th, 2011, 12:27 am #3

I just have to keep it in perspective. I'm hoping crying tonight once I leave work will release alot of it. I just gotta get through it. First instinct is to find another job. But realistically, anywhere I go there could be a pregnant gal or gals.......so just breathing deep as you say.

xoxo, Tracy


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Amy
Amy

September 13th, 2011, 12:41 am #4

I have been kinda quiet the last several months, but a co-worker just pulled me aside to tell me she is pregnant. She knows how long I've been trying and wanted to tell me before announcing wide, which I appreciate. We are a small office of 15 people, so this is going to be really tough for me. I'm happy for her, but just so sad for myself. How have those of you handled watching someones baby bump grow. I know it is a common issue....but since my company is so small, this is the first time I'm having to deal with it. Ugh.....I need to get out of here so I can cry.

xoxo, Tracy

Ugh...that totally sucks. I've had to deal with a few pregnant people in my workplace, and one was 41. It was so much tougher on me than I expected. I tried to brush it off, but that didn't work, and I found I could cope better once I acknowledged my feelings of being sad, jealous, angry, etc. I'm sorry you have to deal w/this. I don't have much great advice...I'm trying to figure out how to cope w/these situations too. Just remember, you're definitely not alone.
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Mrs. M
Mrs. M

September 13th, 2011, 1:04 am #5

I have been kinda quiet the last several months, but a co-worker just pulled me aside to tell me she is pregnant. She knows how long I've been trying and wanted to tell me before announcing wide, which I appreciate. We are a small office of 15 people, so this is going to be really tough for me. I'm happy for her, but just so sad for myself. How have those of you handled watching someones baby bump grow. I know it is a common issue....but since my company is so small, this is the first time I'm having to deal with it. Ugh.....I need to get out of here so I can cry.

xoxo, Tracy

Tracy-It is very difficult and so unfair. I work in a hospital which means majority of workforce is females in childbearing years, so I have lots of experience with this issue. Although there are hundreds of people that work there, I am part of a small dept of about a dozen people. Since I've been ttc, I've watched three co-workers in my dept plan weddings, get married, get pregnant, and have their babies. I think the fact that she pulled you aside and let you know in private shows some sensitivity to the issue on your co-workers part. I hope she will continue to be sensitive. On the advice of the counselor I see, I have given myself permission to not be involved in the showers and celebrations. When the conversation turns to babies during lunch, I just excuse myself and say I have an errand to run or phone calls to make. On some days when I've felt more emotional, I would just skip the lunch crowd all together and have a quiet lunch by myself outside or in my car. I kept a book in my car to read. It was really hard for me to skip the first shower b/c I felt so guilty but in the end no one really missed me and it was easier for the other two. The most recent pregnancy the person was particularly annoying the entire pregnancy complaining about every little thing everyday from the time she announced she was pregnant at 6 weeks. She finally pushed me to the brink of wanting to strangle her after my m/c. With lots of strong encouragement from my counselor I basically shared a little info about my struggle, told her I was happy for her and also told her that I could not take hearing about her "baby issues-happy or annoying" b/c it just made me too sad. That improved the situation for a couple of days and then she went back to her old self so I just did my best to limit interactions with her. I think the most important thing is not to beat yourself up over your feelings, they are completely normal. Feelings and emotions are not good or bad, they are just your feeling and emotions. Take care of yourself. (((hugs)))
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BabyDance
BabyDance

September 13th, 2011, 1:57 am #6

I have been kinda quiet the last several months, but a co-worker just pulled me aside to tell me she is pregnant. She knows how long I've been trying and wanted to tell me before announcing wide, which I appreciate. We are a small office of 15 people, so this is going to be really tough for me. I'm happy for her, but just so sad for myself. How have those of you handled watching someones baby bump grow. I know it is a common issue....but since my company is so small, this is the first time I'm having to deal with it. Ugh.....I need to get out of here so I can cry.

xoxo, Tracy

This just sucks. Sucks. That's all I can say. Big Hugs. Big big hugs. xoxoo BD
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BD
BD

September 13th, 2011, 2:01 am #7

That's Tracy! Sorry for the spelling. nt.
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Joined: February 6th, 2007, 12:57 am

September 13th, 2011, 2:26 am #8

Tracy-It is very difficult and so unfair. I work in a hospital which means majority of workforce is females in childbearing years, so I have lots of experience with this issue. Although there are hundreds of people that work there, I am part of a small dept of about a dozen people. Since I've been ttc, I've watched three co-workers in my dept plan weddings, get married, get pregnant, and have their babies. I think the fact that she pulled you aside and let you know in private shows some sensitivity to the issue on your co-workers part. I hope she will continue to be sensitive. On the advice of the counselor I see, I have given myself permission to not be involved in the showers and celebrations. When the conversation turns to babies during lunch, I just excuse myself and say I have an errand to run or phone calls to make. On some days when I've felt more emotional, I would just skip the lunch crowd all together and have a quiet lunch by myself outside or in my car. I kept a book in my car to read. It was really hard for me to skip the first shower b/c I felt so guilty but in the end no one really missed me and it was easier for the other two. The most recent pregnancy the person was particularly annoying the entire pregnancy complaining about every little thing everyday from the time she announced she was pregnant at 6 weeks. She finally pushed me to the brink of wanting to strangle her after my m/c. With lots of strong encouragement from my counselor I basically shared a little info about my struggle, told her I was happy for her and also told her that I could not take hearing about her "baby issues-happy or annoying" b/c it just made me too sad. That improved the situation for a couple of days and then she went back to her old self so I just did my best to limit interactions with her. I think the most important thing is not to beat yourself up over your feelings, they are completely normal. Feelings and emotions are not good or bad, they are just your feeling and emotions. Take care of yourself. (((hugs)))
It sounds like a very similar work situation in that we all tend to eat together every day, etc. She understands that it is difficult for me and I'm sure will understand that I won't be able to attend the shower. I will take your advice on taking refuge in lunches on my own when necessary. There are several nice areas near work where I could certainly go sit and read a book or surf the internet on my iPhone to pass the time. I'm just not up for all the excited baby talk of the gang. Even if the girl who is pregnant isn't talking about it a lot....there will be the obligatory buzz about it in general that would be easier not to be around. I soooo appreciated her giving me the heads up before announcing wide. Having tonight to cry and get support and get a game plan is invaluable. If I had been blindsided at the lunch table or through an e-mail it would have been much harder. Thanks for your sweet response. I'm sorry you have gone through similar, but I appreciate your sharing your experience and what you did to survive it. ((hugs)) to you too.

xoxo, Tracy

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Joined: February 6th, 2007, 12:57 am

September 13th, 2011, 2:27 am #9

This just sucks. Sucks. That's all I can say. Big Hugs. Big big hugs. xoxoo BD
Thanks BD nt
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Joined: February 6th, 2007, 12:57 am

September 13th, 2011, 2:28 am #10

Ugh...that totally sucks. I've had to deal with a few pregnant people in my workplace, and one was 41. It was so much tougher on me than I expected. I tried to brush it off, but that didn't work, and I found I could cope better once I acknowledged my feelings of being sad, jealous, angry, etc. I'm sorry you have to deal w/this. I don't have much great advice...I'm trying to figure out how to cope w/these situations too. Just remember, you're definitely not alone.
Yeah, I knew I had to acknowledge it and ask for support right away because I felt punched in the gut and on the verge of tears immediately.........so just couldn't brush it off.........after crying on my drive home, I do feel much better.

xoxo, Tracy
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