How practical for fertility preservation by 41

How practical for fertility preservation by 41

Joined: December 20th, 2010, 7:38 pm

July 24th, 2011, 3:40 pm #1

My best friend is 41 and still single. NYC is a harsh place for single women, I have to say.

She is a very traditional person so donor sperm is out for her. She is very sweet with kids and it breaks my heart seeing how much she loves company of kids. She told me that she does crave for a family and her own children but she has almost given up hope.

I want to tell her about storing eggs but I am not sure about the thawing survival rate and the general success rate from fertilizing a 41-year-old egg and getting a live birth out of it. So I don't want to set her expectation high. It would be more cruel to give her false hope. Should I tell her about this option?
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BabyDance
BabyDance

July 24th, 2011, 4:17 pm #2

I have to be honest. I'm slightly irritated by reading this post. Maybe it's because I have my period, so I apologize if it's without reason. I'd say her only shot is to freeze embryos, but since donor sperm is out of the question, I guess she is out of luck.
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K
K

July 24th, 2011, 4:46 pm #3

My best friend is 41 and still single. NYC is a harsh place for single women, I have to say.

She is a very traditional person so donor sperm is out for her. She is very sweet with kids and it breaks my heart seeing how much she loves company of kids. She told me that she does crave for a family and her own children but she has almost given up hope.

I want to tell her about storing eggs but I am not sure about the thawing survival rate and the general success rate from fertilizing a 41-year-old egg and getting a live birth out of it. So I don't want to set her expectation high. It would be more cruel to give her false hope. Should I tell her about this option?
I've heard egg freezing doesn't work well for women past a certain age. It is still a new technology.

I would agree w/ the above poster, that it would be far better to freeze embryos.
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Anonymous
Anonymous

July 24th, 2011, 5:15 pm #4

I have to be honest. I'm slightly irritated by reading this post. Maybe it's because I have my period, so I apologize if it's without reason. I'd say her only shot is to freeze embryos, but since donor sperm is out of the question, I guess she is out of luck.
(to answer the OP) I wouldn't bring up anything about it to your friend at all, egg freezing is not very reliable and may not even be possible for a 41 year old. The places having any sort of success with frozen egg cycles are those using young donors who produce tons of eggs over and over for their banks. I wouldn't want to get someone's interest up who wasn't specifically asking for help.

I think it is sweet that you don't like seeing your friend childless, but some people are okay to accept it as fate (doesn't mean they are happy about it or crushed either, it is what it is). We here on these boards are decidedly NOT okay with it and fight on to have our kids.
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DeeinNYC
DeeinNYC

July 24th, 2011, 5:28 pm #5

My best friend is 41 and still single. NYC is a harsh place for single women, I have to say.

She is a very traditional person so donor sperm is out for her. She is very sweet with kids and it breaks my heart seeing how much she loves company of kids. She told me that she does crave for a family and her own children but she has almost given up hope.

I want to tell her about storing eggs but I am not sure about the thawing survival rate and the general success rate from fertilizing a 41-year-old egg and getting a live birth out of it. So I don't want to set her expectation high. It would be more cruel to give her false hope. Should I tell her about this option?
whether or not most places will even freeze her eggs alone. When I realized that age was an issue a few years back, I called around to a few places and none of them would freeze the eggs of a woman 40 and older. I have no idea why and perhaps things have changed. I was told that the stats were so low because of my age that they would not freeze the eggs due to the unlikelihood that they would survive. These places were cypro-preservation places and not RE offices though.
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anon
anon

July 24th, 2011, 6:54 pm #6

My best friend is 41 and still single. NYC is a harsh place for single women, I have to say.

She is a very traditional person so donor sperm is out for her. She is very sweet with kids and it breaks my heart seeing how much she loves company of kids. She told me that she does crave for a family and her own children but she has almost given up hope.

I want to tell her about storing eggs but I am not sure about the thawing survival rate and the general success rate from fertilizing a 41-year-old egg and getting a live birth out of it. So I don't want to set her expectation high. It would be more cruel to give her false hope. Should I tell her about this option?
since she does not indicate that being a single parent is something she wants, my advice would be to seek out a matchmaking service. that would pair her with eligible men who want to settle down and share her values.

if i were still single at that age, i would be going that route. she can always do donor egg or adoption at that point and who knows? she could get lucky and end up pg on her own. i think lust can only help the situation.
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Jamie
Jamie

July 24th, 2011, 7:12 pm #7

My best friend is 41 and still single. NYC is a harsh place for single women, I have to say.

She is a very traditional person so donor sperm is out for her. She is very sweet with kids and it breaks my heart seeing how much she loves company of kids. She told me that she does crave for a family and her own children but she has almost given up hope.

I want to tell her about storing eggs but I am not sure about the thawing survival rate and the general success rate from fertilizing a 41-year-old egg and getting a live birth out of it. So I don't want to set her expectation high. It would be more cruel to give her false hope. Should I tell her about this option?
Probably because I believe that all women should have all information and options available to them, and then let them make the choice as to whether they want to proceed. Just because she's 41 we don't know that her eggs are terrible. She could be a lucky one with good eggs, and she could start the CoQ10/Melatonin/Ubiquinol right now.

I would tell her that the odds are not with her, and that this may be kind of a hail Mary, but at least it would give her a shot if she meets Mr. Right. Then if she wants to proceed I would have her go to the absolute best place possible to do it that does vitrification.
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Jamie
Jamie

July 24th, 2011, 7:15 pm #8

I think things have changed with vitrification, since the eggs are more likely to survive. I would suspect there are some places that would do it.

I'd probably couch it as "you've mentioned several times that you'd like bio kids, and I'm just curious if you've thought about egg freezing. I don't know if it's even possible, but if you're interested it could be looked into".
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Jamie
Jamie

July 24th, 2011, 8:06 pm #9

http://www.newhopefertilityblog.com/archives/89

I'm sure there are other places as well.
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Joined: April 19th, 2004, 2:36 am

July 24th, 2011, 9:21 pm #10

I have to be honest. I'm slightly irritated by reading this post. Maybe it's because I have my period, so I apologize if it's without reason. I'd say her only shot is to freeze embryos, but since donor sperm is out of the question, I guess she is out of luck.
I have to be honest and say that I see nothing wrong with her post. Not everyone is open to single motherhood and I respect that, just as I respect those who choose it.

I'm so sorry about AF showing up. Big hugs to you.
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