Teresa, how did it go???

Teresa, how did it go???

Sara H
Sara H

December 5th, 2011, 10:13 pm #1

Can't wait to hear!

By North Shore Hospital do you mean LIJ?

I did have a bad run in with one of their Dr.s who basically said "No chance, egg donor for you!" and kicked me out! He was not necessarily wrong but was also not really very nice about that, either. But, he was not the one you were seeing.

Keep us posted!
Sara H



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Joined: December 4th, 2011, 7:31 pm

December 5th, 2011, 10:33 pm #2

Thanks for asking Sarah...and I apologize in advance that this is long! so I went and was brought right in to meet Dr Hershlag. He was very warm and friendly. He went over my history with me..when was lap, when was FSH done..the miscarriages...why didnt anyone send me here sooner..I told him I made the choice to come here on my own- didnt want to wait anymore. He told me off the bat...IVF with some other procedure..may have been something starting with a P? (I was so nervous I didnt write down the name of this procedure...and Im pissed that my husband didnt either because I told him in advance to friggin take notes!!!!!!!!!) but a test on the embryos they do to make sure they are healthy before IVF I think as soon as he said IVF I shut down. Because I was hoping that he would have recommended drugs or IUI first. We cant afford IVF and I'm devastated. Maybe if I sell my car and the contents of my house and the little jewlery I have we could afford it...which I would consider doing if we need to. I would. He examined me, looked at my ovaries and said they look good. He ordered blood for DH (which he had today) and an SA, which he will have Thursday. Also, for me, day 3 blood work...he is going to do genetic testing and run the full gammet...and, he wants me to have a hysterogram which I have to schedule the first day of my period which should be on or around December 16th. He told me with my age being 39, I have to be aggressive. He said he never prescribes injectible drugs to women...which I didnt understand because on other boards, I have seen women with DOR/High FSH do Femara+gonalF+ovidrel+ Timed Intercourse+prometrium....I know everyones case is different but now all I feel is defeated and that IVF is it or no baby. I asked about IUI but he said the chances with IUI for me are 10%? Im still going to do acupuncture. We cant try next month either because of this damn hysterogram...so we cant try for a baby naturally again until the end of January! so now Im upset that we will be wasting 2 months and really, we only tried to conceive 2x since losing the baby in August. Im very confused...not really sure what to think. Do we jump into IVF or try naturally. I did get pregnant but he said "yes but look you miscarried, the eggs may not have been good quality" In my mind now, Im afraid if I did get pregnant naturally, I may have another miss. Which I know could be the case with IVF or anything else. We meet with him again January 9th...to go over results..I wish IVF was not so expensive. I feel overwhelmed right now. Thanks for reading this.
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Mrs. McIrish
Mrs. McIrish

December 5th, 2011, 10:42 pm #3

The RE was talking abuot pre-implantation genetic diagnosis (PGD). They test the embies to see if they are chromosomally normal. I hate to tell you this since you are already concerned about the cost but PGD is expensive, especially on top of IVF. It's around $4K I believe but I'm sure it varies a little place to place.
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Joined: December 4th, 2011, 7:31 pm

December 5th, 2011, 11:07 pm #4

Yes, that's it! Oh my GOSH- 4 grand. UGH oh GOSH....I am speechless.
It's wonderful that they have these high tech ways to help you have a baby...but its so sad that everyone can do it financially. I'm very upset tonight. I aplogize if anyone thinks I'm overreacting, today was just alot to process and I hope I'm not offending anyone. I'm just really overwhelmed right now.
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Joined: December 4th, 2011, 7:31 pm

December 6th, 2011, 12:31 am #5

Can't wait to hear!

By North Shore Hospital do you mean LIJ?

I did have a bad run in with one of their Dr.s who basically said "No chance, egg donor for you!" and kicked me out! He was not necessarily wrong but was also not really very nice about that, either. But, he was not the one you were seeing.

Keep us posted!
Sara H


yes, North Shore/LIJ on community drive in manhasset. BTW- you are not alone- I heard from a friend about this doctor, he did the same thing to someone else. This is why I strongly believe in 2nd, 3rd even 4th opinions. I hope now, you are with an RE who is willing to discuss options with you. Thanks for your support today and all the tips and advice you gave me. I would like to know more about you. Tomorrow, I am going to come back here and read past threads. I'm going to sleep, today was draining! Thank you again for being so kind to me.
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Denise
Denise

December 6th, 2011, 1:11 am #6

Yes, that's it! Oh my GOSH- 4 grand. UGH oh GOSH....I am speechless.
It's wonderful that they have these high tech ways to help you have a baby...but its so sad that everyone can do it financially. I'm very upset tonight. I aplogize if anyone thinks I'm overreacting, today was just alot to process and I hope I'm not offending anyone. I'm just really overwhelmed right now.
PGD will leave you with very few embryos.. Please check out CNY they have offices in Syracuse, Albany, and Rhochester. Also, you can finace fifty percent of your IVF with CNY for up to two years interest free. At CNY I think they will let you try IUI, low stem IVF or anything in between Maybe you just need baby aspirin, and high dose Folic acid and B6+B12 combo. Cny will let you explore these options..
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Sara H
Sara H

December 6th, 2011, 1:31 am #7

yes, North Shore/LIJ on community drive in manhasset. BTW- you are not alone- I heard from a friend about this doctor, he did the same thing to someone else. This is why I strongly believe in 2nd, 3rd even 4th opinions. I hope now, you are with an RE who is willing to discuss options with you. Thanks for your support today and all the tips and advice you gave me. I would like to know more about you. Tomorrow, I am going to come back here and read past threads. I'm going to sleep, today was draining! Thank you again for being so kind to me.
I have much to say about this appointment...

Yes, a second opinion is a must.
I know what is is saying but an not sure this is all necessary.
I live very close to you, I think. If you are going to drive to CNY you can do the drive to Check in NJ. Long and a VERY different experience than they one you had today but worth it for so many of us.

And some of these test can be ordered by you OBGYN and save you a bundle!

Crazy tried tonight so I'll write tomorrow, OK?

For tonight here is my prescription, from NON-MD Sara H!

Bath
Wine
Couch Cuddling with DH
Fuzzy Slipper

(No necessarily in that order!)

More to come...
Sara H
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Joined: December 4th, 2011, 7:31 pm

December 6th, 2011, 11:03 am #8

good morning, how are you today?
i tossed and turned all night. still trying to process what i was told yesterday. i spoke to a friend about it and her take on it..as is mine, is that i have gotten pregnant before. so WHY IVF, that has the same miscarriage rate as doing it naturally- according to my findings. im so confused. if dr check is highly recommended- and i am going to spend the entire day today on here, reading about him...then i am willing to go. im sure my husband would agree. the thing is, i have all the forms for the day 3 blood work and the hysterogram from north shore...should i get this all done and then request copies? is it going to be a problem for me to get this info from them? some offices are ball busters about medical records and i dont want to tell them i am going to seek a 2nd opinion in case i wind up having to use them..i am so sick to my stomach. the biller said to me yesterday "well if you have 10K coverage, that might be enough for one cycle" but ive read more often than not, IVF usually takes several rounds to work. we just dont have the money, in cash or credit...not even sure we would be approved for financing for this. it would take us months to save the balance...what am i saying i dont even know how much it would be though i did read that they have "packages" one being 24,500???? i know nothing so maybe i should wait until the jan 9th consult? do i keep doing the acupuncture??? i go 2x a week and spend 20 bucks on the visits and 30 on herbs every week. am i wasting my time? and money? i have never felt so lost. i cant decide if i want to SCREAM or SOB. one thing that really bothers me in my gut, is that yesterday, dr hershlag made me feel like if i DID become pg again naturally as i have the other times...that i would certainly lose the baby because my eggs suck. then why is ivf ok if thats the case? he kept talking about being aggressive..which i totally agree with at my age, but still. i thought maybe we could try other things first. no options given to me. i am catholic by birth..i made all my sacraments and had a church wedding...i am by NO means religious, but i do like to pray and go to church on occassion and to think that the church doesnt approve of this hurts me. though i dont agree with them and if this were the only hope for me, i would choose IVF and a baby over their archaic beliefs...but im very conflicted. im writing out loud right now and i dont want to offend anyone. this is purely for my husband and i a financial issue and i just feel so confused i never imagined he would tell me IVF is the only way for us. then i think "who am i to question him" frustrated!!!
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Joined: December 4th, 2011, 7:31 pm

December 6th, 2011, 11:05 am #9

PGD will leave you with very few embryos.. Please check out CNY they have offices in Syracuse, Albany, and Rhochester. Also, you can finace fifty percent of your IVF with CNY for up to two years interest free. At CNY I think they will let you try IUI, low stem IVF or anything in between Maybe you just need baby aspirin, and high dose Folic acid and B6+B12 combo. Cny will let you explore these options..
i appreciate the info on the PGD...and i will remember that. and yes looking into a second opinion. i have to seek a second opinion for sure.
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Joined: September 29th, 2010, 9:51 pm

December 6th, 2011, 1:29 pm #10

good morning, how are you today?
i tossed and turned all night. still trying to process what i was told yesterday. i spoke to a friend about it and her take on it..as is mine, is that i have gotten pregnant before. so WHY IVF, that has the same miscarriage rate as doing it naturally- according to my findings. im so confused. if dr check is highly recommended- and i am going to spend the entire day today on here, reading about him...then i am willing to go. im sure my husband would agree. the thing is, i have all the forms for the day 3 blood work and the hysterogram from north shore...should i get this all done and then request copies? is it going to be a problem for me to get this info from them? some offices are ball busters about medical records and i dont want to tell them i am going to seek a 2nd opinion in case i wind up having to use them..i am so sick to my stomach. the biller said to me yesterday "well if you have 10K coverage, that might be enough for one cycle" but ive read more often than not, IVF usually takes several rounds to work. we just dont have the money, in cash or credit...not even sure we would be approved for financing for this. it would take us months to save the balance...what am i saying i dont even know how much it would be though i did read that they have "packages" one being 24,500???? i know nothing so maybe i should wait until the jan 9th consult? do i keep doing the acupuncture??? i go 2x a week and spend 20 bucks on the visits and 30 on herbs every week. am i wasting my time? and money? i have never felt so lost. i cant decide if i want to SCREAM or SOB. one thing that really bothers me in my gut, is that yesterday, dr hershlag made me feel like if i DID become pg again naturally as i have the other times...that i would certainly lose the baby because my eggs suck. then why is ivf ok if thats the case? he kept talking about being aggressive..which i totally agree with at my age, but still. i thought maybe we could try other things first. no options given to me. i am catholic by birth..i made all my sacraments and had a church wedding...i am by NO means religious, but i do like to pray and go to church on occassion and to think that the church doesnt approve of this hurts me. though i dont agree with them and if this were the only hope for me, i would choose IVF and a baby over their archaic beliefs...but im very conflicted. im writing out loud right now and i dont want to offend anyone. this is purely for my husband and i a financial issue and i just feel so confused i never imagined he would tell me IVF is the only way for us. then i think "who am i to question him" frustrated!!!
Wow Teresa it sounds like you had a rough night. And an equally mentally exhausting day yesterday. Thinking aloud is okay here Some thoughts to think about.

It is absolutely okay to keep several doctors and support staff on retainers. This is a situation where it's okay and acceptable to be seeing several practioners or be getting second, third opinions. IF is a very expensive business. If you don't have insurance coverage you will need to have money set aside to fund it. It's not impossible. We were successful 4 years ago with the IUI combination you described above (except w/ clomid instead of femera). At the time we had partial insurance coverage but for 2 years we managed to spend over a 5 figure amount. We are still debt free but we went without for a few years and yes, we sold a car for public transportation.

Most places with written documentation will release all files. Dr. Check won't ask to see them but it's a good idea to have a copy of all your paperwork. I have 3 large files full! Aggressive - yes; but different practioners and consumers have various ideas of what an aggressive approach is. For you and your body it might be IVF or it might not be. Unfortunately no one can tell just by looking at you or your age. They can have somewhat of an idea by your bloodwork and AFC/AMH but the biggest tell all is by your response to stimulation over one or two times. The ladies on here are extremely helpful and I absolutely think it is wise to check back postings. There seems to be several trends IMO on procedures through the years. Common procedures in 2006 might be slightly different than 2011. And I don't think that means the older versions won't work; it's just a sign of the times and the healthcare system etc.

Best of luck to you!!! Ask away any and all questions here. It's rarely TMI!
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