Never a BFP

Never a BFP

Joined: January 2nd, 2012, 8:36 pm

January 26th, 2012, 1:19 pm #1

So frustrating and sad!!! I am 30 y/o and ttc for about a year and a half. I have never seen a bfp!! Not once! It makes me feel like what is the point, its never going to happen. My fsh is about 12 and amh is .64. I am scheduled to have an iui on sat with two follicles maturing. I refuse to get my hopes up...it is always so devastating each month. Would you jump to ivf at this point?? We have to pay out of pocket and I am worried that there is something wrong with my eggs since I have never had a bfp??
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Joined: September 30th, 2011, 8:08 pm

January 26th, 2012, 1:50 pm #2

Hi..I know exactly how you feel..really I do. My husband and I have been at this for over 2 years. I have been pg twice both resulting in a loss. The devestation og seeing that BFP and getting your hopes up then losing it is just as devestating. You are young so that is on your side. Your FSH is high but really not all that bad and 2 mature follies is great for women like us. We can't compare ourselves to "the norm" even though it is difficult. I am 33 and have an FSH at its highest of 27..lowest 19.8. Amh is .16. We are in the middle of our first IVF cycle right now. I have 3 maturing follies and my E2 is rising perfectly. We are scheduled for retrieval on Monday. I'm trying to not get hopes up either, but it's hard not too, especially since this is the first bit of positive news we have gotten through all this. Fortunetely we have great insurance and we can do IVF several times....I would def give IUI a couple more trys and who knows, maybe you will hit the jackpot this month. Like I said your numbers aren't horrible and you are very young. We both have that on our side. I'm praying for you and keep me posted
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Alli
Alli

January 26th, 2012, 2:10 pm #3

So frustrating and sad!!! I am 30 y/o and ttc for about a year and a half. I have never seen a bfp!! Not once! It makes me feel like what is the point, its never going to happen. My fsh is about 12 and amh is .64. I am scheduled to have an iui on sat with two follicles maturing. I refuse to get my hopes up...it is always so devastating each month. Would you jump to ivf at this point?? We have to pay out of pocket and I am worried that there is something wrong with my eggs since I have never had a bfp??
Move to IVF. I started TTC at 28, did 35 TI cycles with no success. Did IVF at 30 and had success the 1st time. Wish i would have skipped IUI's. If you make embies, your chances are 50/50 at that point!! Chances with IUI and DOR are maybe 10-15%. Lower if you have endo. I only had 2-5 AFC any cycle.
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Laura
Laura

January 26th, 2012, 2:31 pm #4

So frustrating and sad!!! I am 30 y/o and ttc for about a year and a half. I have never seen a bfp!! Not once! It makes me feel like what is the point, its never going to happen. My fsh is about 12 and amh is .64. I am scheduled to have an iui on sat with two follicles maturing. I refuse to get my hopes up...it is always so devastating each month. Would you jump to ivf at this point?? We have to pay out of pocket and I am worried that there is something wrong with my eggs since I have never had a bfp??
Your FSH is not even that high. But don't lose hope! You are young and it's probably not an egg quality issue.

What is your Dr's plan? They can't treat women with DOR the same as women with MF, ASA, or thick CM. Ask your RE what the plan is? Why are they going that route for you? Get them to explain it to you, not spout a memorized protocol that just gives them money. If they can't or are unwilling, find a new Dr.
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MargieD
MargieD

January 26th, 2012, 2:35 pm #5

So frustrating and sad!!! I am 30 y/o and ttc for about a year and a half. I have never seen a bfp!! Not once! It makes me feel like what is the point, its never going to happen. My fsh is about 12 and amh is .64. I am scheduled to have an iui on sat with two follicles maturing. I refuse to get my hopes up...it is always so devastating each month. Would you jump to ivf at this point?? We have to pay out of pocket and I am worried that there is something wrong with my eggs since I have never had a bfp??
Plenty of women have tried for years and get BFPs...

In my case - we tried 3 years on our own and then 2 years with three different REs (long story) and got a BFP on a IVF cycle.

I know a woman who tried for 17 years and then got a BFP on Clomid. I don't know her FSH history, though, and she did have a multitude of other issues.

Just because you didn't get a BFP all along doesn't mean you'll never get a BFP. Maybe IVF is the magic bullet??
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b&a72
b&a72

January 26th, 2012, 2:52 pm #6

So frustrating and sad!!! I am 30 y/o and ttc for about a year and a half. I have never seen a bfp!! Not once! It makes me feel like what is the point, its never going to happen. My fsh is about 12 and amh is .64. I am scheduled to have an iui on sat with two follicles maturing. I refuse to get my hopes up...it is always so devastating each month. Would you jump to ivf at this point?? We have to pay out of pocket and I am worried that there is something wrong with my eggs since I have never had a bfp??
I tried for 2 years then went to an RE did a IUI with a BFN followed by 4 IVF cycles with 3 BFN and success on the 4th. I was 24 when we started and never a BFP I am now 27 and am 13 weeks after an IVF cycle. IMHO I would try a couple of IUI's then go to IVF if you can afford it. Also go to a doctor that deals with high FSH or DOR patents as they will be more receptive and encouraging as opposed to the doom and gloom RE's.
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Heather
Heather

January 26th, 2012, 3:19 pm #7

My last re said I did not need ivf to get pregnant, just some medicated iui. I felt like that office wasn't aggressive enough with medication dosages. And I was sick of seeing nurses all the time instead of an actual doctor. So I changed re and this new one wanted to try for ivf immediately. If I had insurance coverage for ivf I would not hesitate to begin ivf. Since we are paying out of pocket I can't afford 3-4 negative ivfs. I think I would like to try 3 more iuis and then moved onto ivf. My iuis are covered but I pay for injectables.

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minka
minka

January 26th, 2012, 3:46 pm #8

Do you pay full cost for your injectables or just a copay?
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Sara H
Sara H

January 26th, 2012, 3:51 pm #9

So frustrating and sad!!! I am 30 y/o and ttc for about a year and a half. I have never seen a bfp!! Not once! It makes me feel like what is the point, its never going to happen. My fsh is about 12 and amh is .64. I am scheduled to have an iui on sat with two follicles maturing. I refuse to get my hopes up...it is always so devastating each month. Would you jump to ivf at this point?? We have to pay out of pocket and I am worried that there is something wrong with my eggs since I have never had a bfp??
Never. Never had one at all.

We were totally at the end, trying this one last time before moving on. We were on the donor embryo list and had been matched. We were going to try an IVF round (we had one failed before) and then use our donor embies if we did not get good quality ones ourselves.

But we tried one. more. cycle.

And, finally, got a BFP that seems to be going really well. (10 weeks tomorrow)

There was a chat on here a while about, not medically but mentally, was it better to have had a BFP and a loss or never to have had a BFP at all. I felt at the time and even more so now, better to never have one than go though the pain of a loss, personally.

As far as IVF I can't say but I would question:
You have done stimms, how do you respond?
Could you go to a lower priced clinic, like Cooper?
Would you qualify for one of the programs? (Like three for the price of two deal?)
When was your last HSG and was everything clear?
Would you clinic let you: Tell them you were doing an IUI so it's covered, but you ask to up your meds to "see how you respond" and if you get a great response switch last minute to IVF? (so your insurance will cover some?)

And, I totally with the previous poster, ask them what they are going to change to see how you do next cycle. The same thing over and over is silly!

As far as how to stay sane I have to say for me and my DH it was all about having other paths to follow. Being on the donor embryo list was such a stress reliever for us! We knew, because of money, we could not do donor egg and most adoption agencies would not give us a good shot at all. So, we were on the donor list and were getting ourselves ready to apply to be foster parents. We knew we wanted to be parents, we just did not know how that was going to happen!

Good luck to you and hold on, you never know what the next cycle brings.
Hugs and love,
Sara H
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Mrs. A
Mrs. A

January 26th, 2012, 5:00 pm #10

So frustrating and sad!!! I am 30 y/o and ttc for about a year and a half. I have never seen a bfp!! Not once! It makes me feel like what is the point, its never going to happen. My fsh is about 12 and amh is .64. I am scheduled to have an iui on sat with two follicles maturing. I refuse to get my hopes up...it is always so devastating each month. Would you jump to ivf at this point?? We have to pay out of pocket and I am worried that there is something wrong with my eggs since I have never had a bfp??
naturally during my very first RE work-up. Talk about how ironic, go in for fertility issues and get PG. Unfortunately I had an early miscarriage.

A year and a 1/2 later I got a BFP during an IVF cycle but that was chemical. Six months later I was moving on to DE and in the meantime, I finally got my sticky OE BFP on a TI cycle. DD was born this past August, 2 months before my 40th birthday.

Point is, BFPs sometimes come in very unpredictable ways.

I was 39 when I got my BFP. On the PG cycle my FSH was 12.1 (highest ever was 25) and my most recent AMH at the time was 0.3. You have "youth" on your side. And your FSH is not that bad at all. But you probably have been made to feel that way.

You haven't provided enough info for me to say yes jump right to IVF. 30 yrs. old, TTC 1.5 years, FSH ~12 and AMH .64 is not automatic criteria for IVF.

How were you TTC for the past 1.5 years? Charting? OPKs?
Has your DP had his semen tested?
What is your AFC? Do you have any polyps, fibroids, endo?
Have you had an HSG?
The IUI you're doing, was it a medicated cycle?
Do you know if you actually release your eggs every month?
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