need some opinions please

need some opinions please

Libby
Libby

February 12th, 2012, 1:36 pm #1

Not a pregnacy related question, but i need some non-bias opinions..
How angry would you be if you found out your husbsand'd ex had called him at work and he failed to tell you, instead told his life long friend (also a female)...sorry but i am really angry!
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Sara H
Sara H

February 12th, 2012, 4:17 pm #2

maybe did not want to stress you out? (NT)
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Anonymous
Anonymous

February 12th, 2012, 4:35 pm #3

And I can appreciate that I guess, but I feel deceived. And I thank you for answering, I know this board is not meant for this.
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Joined: August 23rd, 2011, 3:50 pm

February 12th, 2012, 5:56 pm #4

Not a pregnacy related question, but i need some non-bias opinions..
How angry would you be if you found out your husbsand'd ex had called him at work and he failed to tell you, instead told his life long friend (also a female)...sorry but i am really angry!
I'd be peeved, but I doubt I would make much of it. Well, unless of course I thought there was more to it. If I'd make a big fuss, then I'm sure he'd keep it even a bigger secret next time.

How did you find out?
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Libby
Libby

February 12th, 2012, 6:16 pm #5

By reading a text between him and his female best friend.
Yes I was snooping.
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teresa
teresa

February 12th, 2012, 6:45 pm #6

Not a pregnacy related question, but i need some non-bias opinions..
How angry would you be if you found out your husbsand'd ex had called him at work and he failed to tell you, instead told his life long friend (also a female)...sorry but i am really angry!
But Oh Boy...I would be LIVID. First of all, what did he need to tell this to his life long female friend for- was the call THAT eventful? Nope- I would be upset, just NOT cool. I also don't like to make excuses for someone as to why they did something. So- You can't tell your wife that your ex called- but you can tell a female friend? That would make me wonder.
DH and I are very old fashioned about certain things and neither one of us have best friends/ close relationships with the opposite sex. I realize some people may judge us for that but I could care less, you have to do what works for your specific relationship and this works for us. That being said, I don't know what agreements you and DH have- just answering your question- yes I would be very angry and would want to know why he couldn't tell me but felt he could go to another female. Why did the ex call? I absolutely validate your anger. You have every right!!!




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Anonymous
Anonymous

February 12th, 2012, 6:55 pm #7

LOl....Well he has had this female friend since grade school and ive tried many times to get rid of her as he calls him at least 2x a day, and he does the same. Yes my thought exactly why he would go to her and not me???
I should be the one that knows that NOT HER! He said he didnt tell me b/c he knew I wld be mad. Well I would have been irrated that she called yes, but now im furious that he kept it from me, but asked for his "friends" opinion on how to handle. It has started a war.
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teresa
teresa

February 12th, 2012, 7:05 pm #8


Libby, I affirm you. I think you should cool down for the rest of today and pick a time, maybe later tonight or tomorrow, and sit down with him and hash this out. If you have an issue with his friendship with this girl, (and I would, too, totally 1000% with you on this)- he HAS to respect your feelings. YOU COME FIRST you are his WIFE. I would come out and say that you arent comfortable with this closeness between them and how he reaches out to her before you...that you are hurt and that it has to change..there has to be boundaries established.
I'm sorry but who calls a married man 2x a day? Is she married? Do you like her? Do you also have a friendship with her?
I can't stand when anyone says "I didnt tell you because I knew you would be mad" First- he never gave you the chance to even BE mad or not to be mad because he cut you out of the picture and went to HER. Unacceptable.
Your wife comes first. Your husband comes first. Too bad if he didnt want you to be mad. You ahve the right to show emotion. Of course it isnt his fault that she called him. But, He shouldve just told you because now by NOT telling you, it becomes a trust issue.
<i></i> When you sit down with him, talk calmly and don't yell or you'll get nowhere. But I think if it bothers you and you tell him, he needs to take your feelings into consideration and respect you!






LOl....Well he has had this female friend since grade school and ive tried many times to get rid of her as he calls him at least 2x a day, and he does the same. Yes my thought exactly why he would go to her and not me???
I should be the one that knows that NOT HER! He said he didnt tell me b/c he knew I wld be mad. Well I would have been irrated that she called yes, but now im furious that he kept it from me, but asked for his "friends" opinion on how to handle. It has started a war.

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Anonymous
Anonymous

February 12th, 2012, 7:28 pm #9

She is unhappily married, she married for money and thats what she gets. No I dont like her when we first started dated, they were out at a bar and she took his cell phone and hung up on me! That was many years ago, but hell with that, Ive hated her since.
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teresa
teresa

February 12th, 2012, 8:23 pm #10

I hope you can sit down and have a really good conversation with your husband about this. I don't like her FOR you, lol. Unhappily married, calling your DH 2x a day, oh HELL to the no!!
Thinking of you. Remember, cool off first and then speak, stay calm even if he becomes defensive, that is KEY. I hope he listens to you and respects your feelings.
Update when you can. I'm really sorry you're dealing with this.



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