My story (pg/child ment)

My story (pg/child ment)

Wren
Wren

December 16th, 2011, 2:54 am #1

Hi,

I always hesitate to post these things because I know they can be seen in different ways. But I also know as I lurk on this board that it seems lots of women here are dealing with lots of disappointments and not many BFP at this moment (but that will change, i believe!).

My story is similar to many of yours. I was 33 and in November of 2009, I got my FSH results. FSH was 21. I also had a high tsh and everything else was normal. My AMH was 1.0 which was low normal.

This set me on the road that we are all too familiar with on this board. A journey full of difficulty and confusion and pain. Of having to live in a fertile world while silently suffering infertility. Of hating mother's day and dreading baby showers. Of worrying "what if" and "what now" and "why me." Of trying to hope just to be afraid of the disappointment. Of having your privacy invaded in ways you never imagined and yet keeping a secret from family and friends.

I talked with 12 REs. CCRM, Fisch, some local folks, Check, etc, etc. Most of them wouldn't treat me. One did an IUI but was so "by the book/blueprint/what works for every woman will work for you" that I didn't let her do IVF.

Finally in January 2010, I found my RE who believed in me. He's not necessarily high FSH but he was to me. And he put me on a therapy to prep for IVF in June. June 1 was to be my Day 3s blood test. Instead I got a BFP.

So I didn't need IVF. Mine was a 1% natural miracle.

There were days I wasn't sure. Days that were dark. I struggled with God. I struggled with my own sense of self. I struggled with huge worry about my future as a mother. I truly connect with any story of pain, depression or loss at any level on this board now... because I was there. I know. Infertility is a pain that is indescribable. And I think high FSH is particularly harsh.

Sure, there are many ways to be a mother. Some find the path through adoption. Some from DE. But one thing I have learned on my journey is that there is nothing to be matched to the determination and fierce love of a woman trying to have a baby. I recently had someone call me stubborn (and not in a nice way). My first thought was, "That stubbornness got me my son."

That and the invaluable support and knowledge from this board and my virtual friends on it. And many desperate, tear filled prayers.

So, I guess, I just wanted to post my story in hopes that someone might find it and be helped by it. I believe firmly that all of you who want to be mothers will be. It CAN happen. Don't let those RE's dissuade you. Keep going after it. Keep trying. Keep holding onto hope. Keep open to the possibilities.

And know this: when (WHEN) you become a mom, you will love that child with a depth that is hard to even understand... because you know what it took to have him or her. And you'd do it all again in a heartbeat for him or her.

Peace and blessing to all of you.
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Sara H
Sara H

December 16th, 2011, 3:15 am #2

We have needed some hope around here, I totally agree.
Thank you so much for sharing your story!

Love to you and your little one!
Hugs,
Sara H
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Erin
Erin

December 16th, 2011, 3:25 am #3

Hi,

I always hesitate to post these things because I know they can be seen in different ways. But I also know as I lurk on this board that it seems lots of women here are dealing with lots of disappointments and not many BFP at this moment (but that will change, i believe!).

My story is similar to many of yours. I was 33 and in November of 2009, I got my FSH results. FSH was 21. I also had a high tsh and everything else was normal. My AMH was 1.0 which was low normal.

This set me on the road that we are all too familiar with on this board. A journey full of difficulty and confusion and pain. Of having to live in a fertile world while silently suffering infertility. Of hating mother's day and dreading baby showers. Of worrying "what if" and "what now" and "why me." Of trying to hope just to be afraid of the disappointment. Of having your privacy invaded in ways you never imagined and yet keeping a secret from family and friends.

I talked with 12 REs. CCRM, Fisch, some local folks, Check, etc, etc. Most of them wouldn't treat me. One did an IUI but was so "by the book/blueprint/what works for every woman will work for you" that I didn't let her do IVF.

Finally in January 2010, I found my RE who believed in me. He's not necessarily high FSH but he was to me. And he put me on a therapy to prep for IVF in June. June 1 was to be my Day 3s blood test. Instead I got a BFP.

So I didn't need IVF. Mine was a 1% natural miracle.

There were days I wasn't sure. Days that were dark. I struggled with God. I struggled with my own sense of self. I struggled with huge worry about my future as a mother. I truly connect with any story of pain, depression or loss at any level on this board now... because I was there. I know. Infertility is a pain that is indescribable. And I think high FSH is particularly harsh.

Sure, there are many ways to be a mother. Some find the path through adoption. Some from DE. But one thing I have learned on my journey is that there is nothing to be matched to the determination and fierce love of a woman trying to have a baby. I recently had someone call me stubborn (and not in a nice way). My first thought was, "That stubbornness got me my son."

That and the invaluable support and knowledge from this board and my virtual friends on it. And many desperate, tear filled prayers.

So, I guess, I just wanted to post my story in hopes that someone might find it and be helped by it. I believe firmly that all of you who want to be mothers will be. It CAN happen. Don't let those RE's dissuade you. Keep going after it. Keep trying. Keep holding onto hope. Keep open to the possibilities.

And know this: when (WHEN) you become a mom, you will love that child with a depth that is hard to even understand... because you know what it took to have him or her. And you'd do it all again in a heartbeat for him or her.

Peace and blessing to all of you.
That is a great story and I really appreciate your sentiment as well. As a fellow 33yo with high FSH (highest of 18) who has also seen many REs, it's great to hear a positive outcome! Thank you for sharing!
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Mrs. McIrish
Mrs. McIrish

December 16th, 2011, 3:26 am #4

Hi,

I always hesitate to post these things because I know they can be seen in different ways. But I also know as I lurk on this board that it seems lots of women here are dealing with lots of disappointments and not many BFP at this moment (but that will change, i believe!).

My story is similar to many of yours. I was 33 and in November of 2009, I got my FSH results. FSH was 21. I also had a high tsh and everything else was normal. My AMH was 1.0 which was low normal.

This set me on the road that we are all too familiar with on this board. A journey full of difficulty and confusion and pain. Of having to live in a fertile world while silently suffering infertility. Of hating mother's day and dreading baby showers. Of worrying "what if" and "what now" and "why me." Of trying to hope just to be afraid of the disappointment. Of having your privacy invaded in ways you never imagined and yet keeping a secret from family and friends.

I talked with 12 REs. CCRM, Fisch, some local folks, Check, etc, etc. Most of them wouldn't treat me. One did an IUI but was so "by the book/blueprint/what works for every woman will work for you" that I didn't let her do IVF.

Finally in January 2010, I found my RE who believed in me. He's not necessarily high FSH but he was to me. And he put me on a therapy to prep for IVF in June. June 1 was to be my Day 3s blood test. Instead I got a BFP.

So I didn't need IVF. Mine was a 1% natural miracle.

There were days I wasn't sure. Days that were dark. I struggled with God. I struggled with my own sense of self. I struggled with huge worry about my future as a mother. I truly connect with any story of pain, depression or loss at any level on this board now... because I was there. I know. Infertility is a pain that is indescribable. And I think high FSH is particularly harsh.

Sure, there are many ways to be a mother. Some find the path through adoption. Some from DE. But one thing I have learned on my journey is that there is nothing to be matched to the determination and fierce love of a woman trying to have a baby. I recently had someone call me stubborn (and not in a nice way). My first thought was, "That stubbornness got me my son."

That and the invaluable support and knowledge from this board and my virtual friends on it. And many desperate, tear filled prayers.

So, I guess, I just wanted to post my story in hopes that someone might find it and be helped by it. I believe firmly that all of you who want to be mothers will be. It CAN happen. Don't let those RE's dissuade you. Keep going after it. Keep trying. Keep holding onto hope. Keep open to the possibilities.

And know this: when (WHEN) you become a mom, you will love that child with a depth that is hard to even understand... because you know what it took to have him or her. And you'd do it all again in a heartbeat for him or her.

Peace and blessing to all of you.
What was the magical prep/therapy that your RE put you on that lead to the BFP??? You can't leave that our of your story!!!

Congrats on your son.
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Cee
Cee

December 16th, 2011, 3:32 am #5

Hi,

I always hesitate to post these things because I know they can be seen in different ways. But I also know as I lurk on this board that it seems lots of women here are dealing with lots of disappointments and not many BFP at this moment (but that will change, i believe!).

My story is similar to many of yours. I was 33 and in November of 2009, I got my FSH results. FSH was 21. I also had a high tsh and everything else was normal. My AMH was 1.0 which was low normal.

This set me on the road that we are all too familiar with on this board. A journey full of difficulty and confusion and pain. Of having to live in a fertile world while silently suffering infertility. Of hating mother's day and dreading baby showers. Of worrying "what if" and "what now" and "why me." Of trying to hope just to be afraid of the disappointment. Of having your privacy invaded in ways you never imagined and yet keeping a secret from family and friends.

I talked with 12 REs. CCRM, Fisch, some local folks, Check, etc, etc. Most of them wouldn't treat me. One did an IUI but was so "by the book/blueprint/what works for every woman will work for you" that I didn't let her do IVF.

Finally in January 2010, I found my RE who believed in me. He's not necessarily high FSH but he was to me. And he put me on a therapy to prep for IVF in June. June 1 was to be my Day 3s blood test. Instead I got a BFP.

So I didn't need IVF. Mine was a 1% natural miracle.

There were days I wasn't sure. Days that were dark. I struggled with God. I struggled with my own sense of self. I struggled with huge worry about my future as a mother. I truly connect with any story of pain, depression or loss at any level on this board now... because I was there. I know. Infertility is a pain that is indescribable. And I think high FSH is particularly harsh.

Sure, there are many ways to be a mother. Some find the path through adoption. Some from DE. But one thing I have learned on my journey is that there is nothing to be matched to the determination and fierce love of a woman trying to have a baby. I recently had someone call me stubborn (and not in a nice way). My first thought was, "That stubbornness got me my son."

That and the invaluable support and knowledge from this board and my virtual friends on it. And many desperate, tear filled prayers.

So, I guess, I just wanted to post my story in hopes that someone might find it and be helped by it. I believe firmly that all of you who want to be mothers will be. It CAN happen. Don't let those RE's dissuade you. Keep going after it. Keep trying. Keep holding onto hope. Keep open to the possibilities.

And know this: when (WHEN) you become a mom, you will love that child with a depth that is hard to even understand... because you know what it took to have him or her. And you'd do it all again in a heartbeat for him or her.

Peace and blessing to all of you.
I agree with Sara H, some hope is needed and that's a great story! Thank you.
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Wren
Wren

December 16th, 2011, 5:01 am #6

What was the magical prep/therapy that your RE put you on that lead to the BFP??? You can't leave that our of your story!!!

Congrats on your son.
I hesitate to put that out there bc it's very controversial on these boards. The therapy my RE used was dhea. I was only to use one specific kind from a Denver pharmacy and my blood was taken weekly to monitor me. I took it for 3 months. When I had success, he told us he was seeing 50% of his dhea patients get pg naturally on it.

I was also however taking wheatgrass, high doses of coq10, lcarnatine, fish oil, and doing acupuncture and following a gluten free diet. So what was it really? Oh and the other thing I did was get my tilted uterus back in its proper place. My uterus was tilted to the right smashing my ovary. I never felt ovulation from that ovary. I went to a cranial sacral doctor who massaged it back in place and guess which side I ovulated from on that successful cycle? The right!
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summerwind03
summerwind03

December 16th, 2011, 3:18 pm #7

It's nice to "see" you again. Interesting about all the different things that may have contributed. Glad you got your miracle.
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AJ
AJ

December 16th, 2011, 4:09 pm #8

I hesitate to put that out there bc it's very controversial on these boards. The therapy my RE used was dhea. I was only to use one specific kind from a Denver pharmacy and my blood was taken weekly to monitor me. I took it for 3 months. When I had success, he told us he was seeing 50% of his dhea patients get pg naturally on it.

I was also however taking wheatgrass, high doses of coq10, lcarnatine, fish oil, and doing acupuncture and following a gluten free diet. So what was it really? Oh and the other thing I did was get my tilted uterus back in its proper place. My uterus was tilted to the right smashing my ovary. I never felt ovulation from that ovary. I went to a cranial sacral doctor who massaged it back in place and guess which side I ovulated from on that successful cycle? The right!
Boy or girl? You went to Conceptions, right? I saw Dr. Albrecht there when I was TTC #!. They are big believers in DHEA. I too had a natural surprise after my 2nd failed IVF there. I took a big dose of DHEA- 150mg but like you I was also doing acu, taking other supplements and I cut alcohol for 3 months in prep for the IVF cycle. So you're right, it's hard to know if any of those things helped or if it was just luck. I tried taking DHEA again now that I'm TTC #2 and had a horrible response to it- hair loss, acne on my neck, shoulders and back so I stopped taking it.

Dr. Albrecht actually has his own practice now and he's doing a hysteroscopy on me in a couple of weeks to remove some fibroids and polyps from my uterine wall. He's performed a couple other surgeries on me and I totally trust his surgical skills. After that I'll continue doing natural monitored cycles long distance with Dr. Check. Are you a CO girl?

Stories like ours and Mrs. A's just go to show people that just because you have high FSH it doesn't mean you can't get pg naturally with your own eggs. It just takes good timing and a little bit of luck to get the right egg;)
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AJ
AJ

December 16th, 2011, 4:35 pm #9

I keep forgetting to add . in names when I post!
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Jen
Jen

December 16th, 2011, 5:35 pm #10

Hi,

I always hesitate to post these things because I know they can be seen in different ways. But I also know as I lurk on this board that it seems lots of women here are dealing with lots of disappointments and not many BFP at this moment (but that will change, i believe!).

My story is similar to many of yours. I was 33 and in November of 2009, I got my FSH results. FSH was 21. I also had a high tsh and everything else was normal. My AMH was 1.0 which was low normal.

This set me on the road that we are all too familiar with on this board. A journey full of difficulty and confusion and pain. Of having to live in a fertile world while silently suffering infertility. Of hating mother's day and dreading baby showers. Of worrying "what if" and "what now" and "why me." Of trying to hope just to be afraid of the disappointment. Of having your privacy invaded in ways you never imagined and yet keeping a secret from family and friends.

I talked with 12 REs. CCRM, Fisch, some local folks, Check, etc, etc. Most of them wouldn't treat me. One did an IUI but was so "by the book/blueprint/what works for every woman will work for you" that I didn't let her do IVF.

Finally in January 2010, I found my RE who believed in me. He's not necessarily high FSH but he was to me. And he put me on a therapy to prep for IVF in June. June 1 was to be my Day 3s blood test. Instead I got a BFP.

So I didn't need IVF. Mine was a 1% natural miracle.

There were days I wasn't sure. Days that were dark. I struggled with God. I struggled with my own sense of self. I struggled with huge worry about my future as a mother. I truly connect with any story of pain, depression or loss at any level on this board now... because I was there. I know. Infertility is a pain that is indescribable. And I think high FSH is particularly harsh.

Sure, there are many ways to be a mother. Some find the path through adoption. Some from DE. But one thing I have learned on my journey is that there is nothing to be matched to the determination and fierce love of a woman trying to have a baby. I recently had someone call me stubborn (and not in a nice way). My first thought was, "That stubbornness got me my son."

That and the invaluable support and knowledge from this board and my virtual friends on it. And many desperate, tear filled prayers.

So, I guess, I just wanted to post my story in hopes that someone might find it and be helped by it. I believe firmly that all of you who want to be mothers will be. It CAN happen. Don't let those RE's dissuade you. Keep going after it. Keep trying. Keep holding onto hope. Keep open to the possibilities.

And know this: when (WHEN) you become a mom, you will love that child with a depth that is hard to even understand... because you know what it took to have him or her. And you'd do it all again in a heartbeat for him or her.

Peace and blessing to all of you.
I really appreciate you sharing your story. It helps me feel braver about going to see our second RE in a couple of weeks. With your story and others that were posted, I have "data" that challenges the whole "You have a 1-3% chance of conceiving with your own eggs." THANKS AGAIN!!! ---And CONGRATULATIONS!!
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