I'm completely new to the forum and decided to join because of the results of my fertility awareness testing. First my results: AFC 13, FSH 12.7, and my estrogen level at 50. After reviewing some other posts, I realize my situation could be much worse. However, I'm not exactly in the market to get pregnant just yet...although I would love to!
A little about my background...I'm recently divorced from a marriage that lasted really about a month and a half but from an over 10 year relationship. My ex cheated and left me for a coworker without any explanation (other than I realized he has borderline personality disorder). He would rather run from his problems than face them, and I always made him confront them. Anyways, the split happened when I was 30 yrs old. We planned to start a family immediately following our wedding. Now, 2 years later I've met a wonderful man but he is much younger than me (only 24!). We have only been dating about a year now, and although I've known him for years (I'm very good friends with his sister and family), I'm not sure if he's "the one" yet. He knows my situation and understands I want to start a family ASAP under the right circumstances. He's on board but stated he would really like to wait a couple years, and I completely agree. So, with this relationship and my new found test results, I'm in a tough spot. Do I stay with him and try getting pregnant in a couple years, or do I go ahead and use a donor and try sooner. The fertility clinic recommended freezing my eggs, however, its WAY too expensive for me to do anytime soon.
Any advice, stories, or feedback is appreciated! Sorry I went into the personal background but this is a tough situation and definitely not ideal. I want more than anything to have my own children and I'm not sure if waiting is a risk I should take. Thank you!
So your numbers look REALLY, REALLY good to the population on a site like this!! I would ask for a retest on FSH to see how it jumps around in a couple cycles to help with the decisions you have ahead. That alone might really help your decision. In any case, the questions that I would consider (after having been around the infertility block a while) are:
Are you ready to have a baby now, possibly alone?
How important is this guy and the relationship? Which begs the question-
Is it worth waiting for him and possibly not being able to have your genetic child if you don't freeze your eggs? That is definitely on the extreme side, but a possibility you should know about. There is no test to say how quickly your fertility will decline but evidence says after age 35 it declines rapidly. Based on your numbers now that could happen sooner, but maybe not? Keep in mind that women not having their own genetic child happens every day (through adoption, egg donation, embryo adoption, but all these options are also generally very expensive). I believe what is more probable is that you will need help from an RE to have a baby in a few years. It may take persistence and will probably include a roller coaster of emotions. Insurance coverage is increasingly rare and so at a minimum right now your best bet is to save $ for this possibility so it will help you feel like you have options if you need them. If you don't need it, you'll have a great nest egg.
That being said I would do everything I could to save up $ and freeze my eggs now. If it works out with your guy you may still be able to get pregnant in a couple years with him and never use them (this would be like a backup plan if having a genetic child is your priority).
I think you are very smart to have went ahead and looked into this now. Unlike many that find themselves here you are lucky to have these numbers and options. Like many here, you are faced with very tough decisions that are emotionally and financially taxing. I wish you the best.