failing miserably at the 2ww

failing miserably at the 2ww

sarita
sarita

June 16th, 2011, 10:07 pm #1

OK, I know I still have 6 days to go but honestly - it's killing me. I'm SO afraid the beta will be negative. And what I really want to know is if it is what does that mean and what are my next steps? All along in the process I have felt like I had a plan B and right now I don't have a plan B and maybe it would make me less stressed out if I did. This cycle went so well - 19 eggs, 1 5-day transferred and four 6 days frozen - that I'm starting to questions this whole bag egg quality issue. My RE says my high FSH (highest around 13) is why I'm not getting pregnant but with all those eggs how can that be? Are there other issues I should look into? What do I do next if this beta is negative?
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bigboy
bigboy

June 16th, 2011, 10:10 pm #2

im sorry you are going through this, the 2ww is torture. i cant even imagine how it would be with IVF? why does your RE say that the reason you arent getting pg is bc of the high FSH? my highest is 12 and that's not the reason my RE is providing. im just curious.
next steps would be to maybe do another round of IVF?
i hope these next few days fly by for you : )
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sarita
sarita

June 16th, 2011, 10:25 pm #3

What reason is our RE providing? FSH is the reason - well FSH indicates DOR and since I have not conceived after TTCing for 2 years she says that is the reason. MF has been ruled out and it's unlikely I have blocked tubes or anything because I've been pregnant before.
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JulesM
JulesM

June 16th, 2011, 10:38 pm #4

OK, I know I still have 6 days to go but honestly - it's killing me. I'm SO afraid the beta will be negative. And what I really want to know is if it is what does that mean and what are my next steps? All along in the process I have felt like I had a plan B and right now I don't have a plan B and maybe it would make me less stressed out if I did. This cycle went so well - 19 eggs, 1 5-day transferred and four 6 days frozen - that I'm starting to questions this whole bag egg quality issue. My RE says my high FSH (highest around 13) is why I'm not getting pregnant but with all those eggs how can that be? Are there other issues I should look into? What do I do next if this beta is negative?
So although I really think this cycle will work if it were be I would probably do a FET. That was they can get your lining perfect and there wouldn't be the stimming stress.
Just so you know... I do NOT think your eggs are poor quality... you had 6 make it to freeze!! I had 15 eggs retrieved, all 15 fertilized, we transferred 3 and none were left to freeze and I am 10 weeks pregnant from that cycle. Now... I obviously have much worse quality than you but I still managed to make it this far.
Good luck!! You are so close to ending the 2ww!!
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MargieD
MargieD

June 16th, 2011, 10:45 pm #5

OK, I know I still have 6 days to go but honestly - it's killing me. I'm SO afraid the beta will be negative. And what I really want to know is if it is what does that mean and what are my next steps? All along in the process I have felt like I had a plan B and right now I don't have a plan B and maybe it would make me less stressed out if I did. This cycle went so well - 19 eggs, 1 5-day transferred and four 6 days frozen - that I'm starting to questions this whole bag egg quality issue. My RE says my high FSH (highest around 13) is why I'm not getting pregnant but with all those eggs how can that be? Are there other issues I should look into? What do I do next if this beta is negative?
I have learned a lot of things about my cycles. For example - I have learned that my progesterone levels are screwy. I learned that I don't always produce mature follicles with E2 levels in the normal range. I learned that I don't always release. I learned that I have a blocked tube. All of these are reasons why I cannot conceive naturally and why I need medical intervention.

There have been studies stating that high FSH does not mean diminished egg quality. I don't know where they are, but hopefully the others will post some links. Maybe you could show your RE these articles (if she cares).

I am not sure why you don't have any confidence in your eggs. With four 6 day embies, I'd say you're in a great shape even this one doesn't work out. There's also studies that show FETs do better than fresh embies in some women.

2wws are hard. Keep yourself busy with other things besides TTCing stuff.
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bigboy
bigboy

June 16th, 2011, 10:50 pm #6

What reason is our RE providing? FSH is the reason - well FSH indicates DOR and since I have not conceived after TTCing for 2 years she says that is the reason. MF has been ruled out and it's unlikely I have blocked tubes or anything because I've been pregnant before.
agree with Margie - there is a lot of info out there that states that high FSH is not necessarily related to egg quality. age being a large factor as well. everyone is different and higher FSH in one person might mean different things than higher FSH in another.
on another note you have 6 frosties. that's crazy. you are so lucky to have those in the bank.
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Sara H
Sara H

June 16th, 2011, 10:52 pm #7

OK, I know I still have 6 days to go but honestly - it's killing me. I'm SO afraid the beta will be negative. And what I really want to know is if it is what does that mean and what are my next steps? All along in the process I have felt like I had a plan B and right now I don't have a plan B and maybe it would make me less stressed out if I did. This cycle went so well - 19 eggs, 1 5-day transferred and four 6 days frozen - that I'm starting to questions this whole bag egg quality issue. My RE says my high FSH (highest around 13) is why I'm not getting pregnant but with all those eggs how can that be? Are there other issues I should look into? What do I do next if this beta is negative?
You are close! 6 frozen at 6 days? AMAZING! You have a clear path ahead of you!

If, and I think that it will, but if this cycle does not work out you are going to:
Take a month to clear all that stuff out of your system and relax.
Go back the RE and let them get you PERFECTLY ready for trying again.
Transfer one of the frosties and STILL have some left!

That is a WONDERFUL place to be! Amazing!

I wish I had words of wisdom to help with the 2WW... but all I have is humor!
I wrote this while I was in the 2WW after my IVF and thought I was going a bit nuts, I hope it helps!

Hugs to you!
Sara H
___________

Surviving The Two Week Wait

Oh I must survive the 'Two Week Wait',
To see what will be, what is our fate.
It should not be bad, I'll keep busy with lots,
At least it's better than all those darn shots!

Day 1 I'll go for a nice calming walk,
And with my DH try not to talk
About kids and plans and names and such,
And try not to get our hopes up too too too much.

Day 2 Ahh, for today, I'll do some nice light cleaning,
And try not to think and keep myself from seeing,
Everyone around me with their cute babies,
And try to stop the incessant 'maybes'.

Day 3 with the In-Laws we'll dine,
Who don't know what's up, think everything is fine.
"No, thank you, I'll pass, I won't have the wine."
Stop looking at me, Mother-in-Law! No, it's not a sign!

Day 4 I'll look at my closet again,
Maybe a quick clean, then onto the den,
You know a crib would look great right over there,
Wait! Stop thinking about that, it just isn't fair!

Day 5, Good grief! Will this day never end?
Where is my phone, can I call a friend?
And was that a twinge, or just anticipation?
Or am I one of those women who can actually feel implantation?

Day 6 I'm fine, I'm not going mad
But I keep looking at my dear husband, trying to see a Dad.
I have to keep busy, keep my mind occupied,
On trivial things, not what maybe happening inside!

Day 7, oh JOY, oh bliss, we are half way there!
No, I'm not obsessing, I haven't a care,
The first week flew by, I could hardly even tell,
And if you believe that I have a Bridge I can sell!

Day 8, Wait, are my breasts sore tonight?
Or, did I just wear my new bra too tight.
Am I feeling sick, nausea in the morning?
Or was that old expiration date actually a good warning?

Day 9, day 9, everything is fine!
It's not that I'm edgy, I SAID I WAS FINE!
Sorry, I did not mean to snap, but my temper is quick,
Is tomorrow too early to pee on a stick?

Day 10, For one day I'd just like to forget,
Not go crazy with days, my mind to reset.
A good friend she told me, "Remember, try not to dwell!"
Oh give me a break, this two weeks... umm, Aint swell!

Day 11, Well what to do, maybe I'll clean again?
Oops, my closet is empty and I blew up the den.
OK, I'll watch some TV to take my mind off the maybes
WHY DOES EVERY STATION ONLY PLAY "SHE'S HAVING A BABY?"

Day 12, good grief, I don't know how I will cope,
I want to be optimistic, to have some hope,
But I am afraid of disappointment, of again this not being the time,
If someone could make days fly, I'll give my last dime!

Day 13 is supposed to be Lucky, they say
Personally I wish it would just go away,
I am done with watching the days crawl by,
I hate all this waiting, too long have we tried.

Day 14, Wait, what? It's finally here?
Today we find out if a baby is near?
Umm, wait, now I don't know if I really want the real truth
I kind-of liked day-dreaming, but betas the proof.

So now it's off to the bathroom I go,
So far so good, I don't see Aunt Flow.
I open the package, pee and it will tell our fate,
Oh dear, now how do I survive this TWO MINUTE WAIT???
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Joined: January 13th, 2011, 3:54 pm

June 16th, 2011, 11:17 pm #8

OK, I know I still have 6 days to go but honestly - it's killing me. I'm SO afraid the beta will be negative. And what I really want to know is if it is what does that mean and what are my next steps? All along in the process I have felt like I had a plan B and right now I don't have a plan B and maybe it would make me less stressed out if I did. This cycle went so well - 19 eggs, 1 5-day transferred and four 6 days frozen - that I'm starting to questions this whole bag egg quality issue. My RE says my high FSH (highest around 13) is why I'm not getting pregnant but with all those eggs how can that be? Are there other issues I should look into? What do I do next if this beta is negative?
This makes me soooooo mad Sarita!! If you take a look at any of the general IVF boards, you see women all the time with egg counts in the teens and 20's. That is NOT DOR. I think it is CRAZY for anyone to say that it is!!! With 7 embryos making it all the way to blast!!! That is amazing!
So I just don't get it...I have yet to hear a decent explanation for why women with high FSH can't get pg naturally if they are making mature eggs every month. Honestly? I think that as soon as doc's see "high FSH" they just assume that it is DOR or poor egg quality. The fact is that someone like you, with lots of good quality eggs, doesn't fit their diagnosis. You should probably just be in the category of "unexplained infertility" but i know that most docs would prefer to tell you that they have the answers instead of saying that it is "unexplained." Now, it's possible that you have a little bit of endo in your tubes or some other problem that results in egg not meeting sperm. And in fact, there are many reasons why a woman can produce a mature egg and have it not be fertilized (hostile cervical fluids, undiagnosed MF...or some eggs just aren't "caught" to get pulled into the fallopian tubes). But none of these things have anything to do with high FSH.

Some women definitely have DOR. And in fact, when fsh gets really high (30,40,50) it does seem to correlate with diminished reserve. But for the women who have moderately high elevations, I'm not so sure that it means anything!
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lucy999
lucy999

June 16th, 2011, 11:19 pm #9

OK, I know I still have 6 days to go but honestly - it's killing me. I'm SO afraid the beta will be negative. And what I really want to know is if it is what does that mean and what are my next steps? All along in the process I have felt like I had a plan B and right now I don't have a plan B and maybe it would make me less stressed out if I did. This cycle went so well - 19 eggs, 1 5-day transferred and four 6 days frozen - that I'm starting to questions this whole bag egg quality issue. My RE says my high FSH (highest around 13) is why I'm not getting pregnant but with all those eggs how can that be? Are there other issues I should look into? What do I do next if this beta is negative?
a blast or 8 cell? do not worry, the 2www runs really quick
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sarita
sarita

June 17th, 2011, 1:50 am #10

OK, I know I still have 6 days to go but honestly - it's killing me. I'm SO afraid the beta will be negative. And what I really want to know is if it is what does that mean and what are my next steps? All along in the process I have felt like I had a plan B and right now I don't have a plan B and maybe it would make me less stressed out if I did. This cycle went so well - 19 eggs, 1 5-day transferred and four 6 days frozen - that I'm starting to questions this whole bag egg quality issue. My RE says my high FSH (highest around 13) is why I'm not getting pregnant but with all those eggs how can that be? Are there other issues I should look into? What do I do next if this beta is negative?
the way I wrote it was confusing I don't have 6 on ice, I have 4 on ice all of which made it to day 6. And yes, I agree this DOR diagnosis is strange. I mean, I guess you could argue that out of 18 eggs only 4 made it to day six (plus the 5 day blast they transferred) so that is at least 2/3 of my eggs that weren't up to the task. If your body is randomly selecting the single egg that is being released than it may be a while before you get a good egg. Bigboy, you did not mention what reason your RE gave you for not conceiving - if not DOR what? If anyone has links to studies that would be great. If this doesn't work I guess I'll do FET but I feel like don't have all the answers. Would you all get a second opinion before doing FET? I have an appt already set up with Dr. Sami David - the guy who wrote that making babies book but he's expensive and I don't know a whole lot about him. What about Check?
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