well looks like we will be cycling early next year (adoption ment)

well looks like we will be cycling early next year (adoption ment)

Joined: February 24th, 2006, 7:42 am

December 11th, 2010, 12:44 pm #1

Spoke to Dylan's birth mom and she is very keen to be a surrogate. I spent hours last night thinking things through and came to this conclusion. To do IUI is fairly reasonable cost wise here in SA, and if or when birth mom falls pregnant and we end up having to pay for the birth, at least we will have a baby in the end. If we go with egg donation from birth mom, that is going to cost quite a bit and there is still no guarantee that I will get a BFP. I don't think I could go through with the emotional pain of another BFN. Also I had brain surgery done 5 years ago with complications and although I am feeling great, I really don't want to tempt fate. So birth mom will carry the child and we will use donor sperm as dh has no sperm. I don't think we will even do a clomid cycle as she is very fertile and I don't want more than one if I can help it. This is all very exciting, but am waiting for my inheritance to come through.....my mom passed away from Alzheimer's in May.

Brandy
South Africa
Quote
Like
Share

Joined: September 6th, 2007, 1:40 am

December 11th, 2010, 6:10 pm #2

I'D do that if I could!!!

Yaaaay!!!!!!!!!!!!

Don't tempt fate. This is going to turn out great. Mom to two!!! What beautiful words!!!
Quote
Like
Share

Joined: February 24th, 2006, 7:42 am

December 11th, 2010, 6:37 pm #3

You know I have often felt cheated that I didn't experience pregnancy, but I am so happy I finally have my health back, that I really need to get over it and do what is best. At least I won't get stretch marks lol.
Quote
Like
Share

Joined: September 6th, 2007, 1:40 am

December 11th, 2010, 6:57 pm #4

It's a nice experience but once you have the kid it fades a lot...so it doesn't lead to that many memories. I think it might actually be our brains kind of erase the experience.

You have little memories like--I couldn't eat X thing without vomiting...and they do remember the kicking in the stomach. But most of it is kind of a blur. The baby's first months though will be emblazoned on your mind. The 'baby event' wipes out the 'pregnancy event' for most people.

I guess it's like climbing Mt. Everest and you could say 'I did it.' But you get the good part--the baby! That's why everyone does it anyway.

May I be so bold as to make one suggestion? Consider artificially starting lactation? Breastfeeding is kind of cool. If you could do that, it would be a neat experience.

However, don't get too hung up on it as it doesn't work for everyone. I do think it is a more rewarding thing than pregnancy because you do it with the baby. A baby in pregnancy is kind of abstract in a weird way.
Quote
Like
Share

Joined: February 24th, 2006, 7:42 am

December 11th, 2010, 7:38 pm #5

You know I forgot that I could breastfeed. My sister ended up adopting kids and her first one she breastfed. Unfortunately she died at age 4 in a freak accident......very sad, but she went on to adopt 2 more, from birth.

Thanks for filling me in on pregnancy. I also worry, because I don't sleep well and usually take trepiline at night......so would have to go off that, and knowing my luck I would have an awful pregnancy and once the baby is in, there is no changing your mind until it is ready to be born. If birth mom is willing to do this for us, why put myself through it.

Thanks for your support.
x
Quote
Like
Share

Joined: September 6th, 2007, 1:40 am

December 11th, 2010, 7:40 pm #6

if you are breastfeeding. Breastfeeding makes you sleep.
Quote
Like
Share

Joined: February 24th, 2006, 7:42 am

December 11th, 2010, 7:41 pm #7

lol good, but was meaning pregnancy :) nt
Quote
Like
Share

Joined: February 6th, 2007, 1:08 am

December 12th, 2010, 1:28 am #8

Spoke to Dylan's birth mom and she is very keen to be a surrogate. I spent hours last night thinking things through and came to this conclusion. To do IUI is fairly reasonable cost wise here in SA, and if or when birth mom falls pregnant and we end up having to pay for the birth, at least we will have a baby in the end. If we go with egg donation from birth mom, that is going to cost quite a bit and there is still no guarantee that I will get a BFP. I don't think I could go through with the emotional pain of another BFN. Also I had brain surgery done 5 years ago with complications and although I am feeling great, I really don't want to tempt fate. So birth mom will carry the child and we will use donor sperm as dh has no sperm. I don't think we will even do a clomid cycle as she is very fertile and I don't want more than one if I can help it. This is all very exciting, but am waiting for my inheritance to come through.....my mom passed away from Alzheimer's in May.

Brandy
South Africa
Sorry to hear about your mum. I agree fully with your decision to use a surrogate, I wasn't aware of your previous surgery but it certainly isn't worth tempting fate or having to come off medication when later your family could suffer and of course you. You already know how much you love your son and the next baby will be exactly the same but yours from birth. Please stay on the board and keep us updated. I love following your story.
Quote
Like
Share

Joined: June 2nd, 2007, 7:45 am

December 12th, 2010, 2:14 am #9

Spoke to Dylan's birth mom and she is very keen to be a surrogate. I spent hours last night thinking things through and came to this conclusion. To do IUI is fairly reasonable cost wise here in SA, and if or when birth mom falls pregnant and we end up having to pay for the birth, at least we will have a baby in the end. If we go with egg donation from birth mom, that is going to cost quite a bit and there is still no guarantee that I will get a BFP. I don't think I could go through with the emotional pain of another BFN. Also I had brain surgery done 5 years ago with complications and although I am feeling great, I really don't want to tempt fate. So birth mom will carry the child and we will use donor sperm as dh has no sperm. I don't think we will even do a clomid cycle as she is very fertile and I don't want more than one if I can help it. This is all very exciting, but am waiting for my inheritance to come through.....my mom passed away from Alzheimer's in May.

Brandy
South Africa
so if you want any info on it, please feel free to ask?
I wish you all the very very best.
L
[li<a href="" rel="nofollow">http://lilypie.com][img</a> noborder]<img src="http://lmtf.lilypie.com/rdnXp12.png" alt="[linked image]">[/img][/link]
Quote
Like
Share

Joined: February 24th, 2006, 7:42 am

December 12th, 2010, 11:33 am #10

Sorry to hear about your mum. I agree fully with your decision to use a surrogate, I wasn't aware of your previous surgery but it certainly isn't worth tempting fate or having to come off medication when later your family could suffer and of course you. You already know how much you love your son and the next baby will be exactly the same but yours from birth. Please stay on the board and keep us updated. I love following your story.
Yes I went through hell for 17 years as I was misdiagnosed. I had vertigo when I slept and terrible headaches and was losing the feeling in my arms and legs. Finally got diagnosed with Arnold Chiari Type 1, where the back of the brain (cerebellum) was being squashed down my neck because the skull was too tight. So they removed part of C1 and part of the skull. Then 4 months later I developed a spinal fluid leak and slept sitting up for 3 months, so as to try and seal the leak, but it didn't happen, so they inserted an LP Shunt into my spine, which fixed the leak but gave me awful headaches. Lived with them for 4 years and then finally talked my neuro surgeon into removing it. He was worried the leak would come back but I was willing to take the risk. Since then which was at the beginning of this year, I have felt fantastic. So you see why I have my reservations about tempting fate.

I would love to stay on this board as I have been here on and off for a while.
Take care
Brandy
Quote
Like
Share