The key to anything is believing....m (motivational message/child ment)

The key to anything is believing....m (motivational message/child ment)

Hope2009
Hope2009

June 20th, 2012, 6:19 pm #1

Dear yellow board buds,

This morning I was reading all the emails that come into our in box...wow...I don't know about you but some days it is ridiculous how much crap creeps in through our family's computer email.

Anyway, amongst all the garbage I found something that made me feel that I wanted to share that here today. It was 4 years ago this summer that we did our first de fresh cycle and the months leading up to the cycle were really challenging on my emotional energy...but throughout I was really working on positive self talk/meditation and visualization.

So hard sometimes to do when month after month flew by and we didn't have a baby in the house or even in my womb. But I continued to believe and trust despite it all....I do believe that quote by Buddha that tells us, 'what you think, you become."

And so when I got this message from my sons Tae Kwon Do studio this morning I thought, yes, this is powerful. I don't know where you are on your journey to being a mom but I do know that the key is visualizing anything you want before it will manifest into your life. So whatever your self talk is today...if it is the least bit doubtful or there is fear of anything being whispered into your soul, try to shift your words, your thoughts, your perspective and let believing in your dream fill you up until you feel strong and powerful...full of energy to accept what you deserve in life. A warrior! as a dear board bud Wilson used to call us all.

Here is the message I read this morning, I hope it resonates with your soul as it did mine this morning. BTW...I was able to write this post while our almost three year old son is playing intently with his cars and block at my feet and our twin baby daughters are having their morning nap. The universe gave us even more than I ever dreamed...I BELIEVE sending positive talk in our heart and out into the world works. I hope it does for you too. hugs from Hope

Belief is Much Stronger Than Fact or Truth.

If you think you are a morning person, please raise your right hand. If you think you are an evening person, raise your left hand. Put your hands down. If you think you are a morning or evening person, you are not good for anything for half of the day, which means you limit yourself. You are what you think you are, but you are not what you think you are. What you think is a fact about yourself may not be a fact at all; you are not what you think. You may think it is a fact that you are just a morning person or an evening person, but the truth is that you are a 24-hour person. When I say, You are not what you think you are, I mean that you may be falsely limiting yourself by your beliefs. On the other hand, if you tell yourself you are a 24-hour person and break through your former limitations, You are what you think you are. Change your mind within a second, and you will change your life.

Your friend,

Master Warkentin

"The bad news is time flies. The good news is you're the pilot."

-- Michael Altshuler





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anon
anon

June 20th, 2012, 9:04 pm #2

I am a lurker but love reading your posts. You are always so uplifting and have such a positive attitude. I am wondering if you were always an optimist? I tend to be a pessimist and am depressed most of the time due to infertility, and am always looking for ways to improve my outlook and attitude. Are there methods that you went through to stay positive when you weren't conceiving? Or did you always have a sense that it would happen for you and that allowed you to stay optimistic and have a positive attitude? I need to get to that place where I believe. It is hard, and I am wondering how to get a positive outlook.
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Antonialisa
Antonialisa

June 21st, 2012, 2:04 am #3

Great question! n/t
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Hope2009
Hope2009

June 22nd, 2012, 4:05 am #4

I am a lurker but love reading your posts. You are always so uplifting and have such a positive attitude. I am wondering if you were always an optimist? I tend to be a pessimist and am depressed most of the time due to infertility, and am always looking for ways to improve my outlook and attitude. Are there methods that you went through to stay positive when you weren't conceiving? Or did you always have a sense that it would happen for you and that allowed you to stay optimistic and have a positive attitude? I need to get to that place where I believe. It is hard, and I am wondering how to get a positive outlook.
hey?...or that is whta you may think. I say 'the wall' as years ago I took a course called the 'PURSUIT OF EXCELLENTCE' and one of the components of the course had us going to Orcas Island (near Seattle Wa) for a long weekend. It was there that we realized that anything that wasn't working in our life was as a result of our own belief system...these little walls we put up so that we can find easy excuses or explanations regarding what wasn't coming to us easily.

But years before taking that course I learned to break down my walls so that I could live a happier, more peaceful life.

You asked if I was always an optimist....well I guess to a great degree I was a happy child early on and my needs were met. I do remember feeling loved and happy in our family home. I was the youngest of 4 daughters and life was simple and happy. I loved going to sleep at night listening to my dad play his violin...it was part of the hum in our home.

Sadly, my dad was killed when I was 5 and that hum fell into silence. My mom was only 40 and left of raise us girls with little money. It was a scary time and for years I do remember wondering if life would ever get better.

When I was around age 7 and crying myself to sleep as I often did...I remember a very stong feeling that I wasn't alone and that things would be okay. It was such a sense of comfort and peace that I felt and although things didn't get easier for years after that, I just felt deep down that there was a reason for everything and that I just had to believe in the goodness of life...deep stuff for a child but it was the thing that got me through childhood.

So I think that we are born into a certain disposition, and then life experiences can create our belief system....or walls.

You asked about methods that may help you while ttc...to help you feel more positive and optimistic and also help you believe that your soulbaby will indeed come.

I can suggest several things that helped me but remember I did have this deep belief already from my life that no matter what happened that all shall be well....if you don't have that then these may not be as powerful for you but I think they will help. Also, make sure that if you are depressed that you have someone to talk to, someone who may be able to help you while you are processing your life as it evolves. Having these boards helped me feel less alone while I walked my path.

For me doing yoga was one of the key emotion boosts. I practised relaxing hatha yoga for several years and if I didn't go several times I week and started to feel anxious and sad I knew that I was out of balance and I needed to take some deep breaths, practice my poses and stay connected to my soul.

Also, along my journey I found Dr. Wayne Dyer to be a wonderful teacher...I would borrow CD's from the library and always have him talking to me while I was driving in the car....'power of intention' was huge for me but he has a huge library of books/cds that never fail to lift me up;...my DH too...whenever he goes on road trips with his job I borrow a CD from our library for him.

I love that saying he has....you know how some people say...'you will believe it when you see it?' but he says 'you will SEE IT...when you believe it"...and this is soooo true. You have to shift your belief system..move those walls and allow what you want to manifest.

Then, there is meditation....I didn't do long seated meditations with our busy life...but even if I was able to meditate for 15 minutes a day it made a huge difference in my attitude...it calmed me and helped me remember that just being is most important.

I particularly loved to meditate early in the morning..out in nature...that is where I always felt connected to my soulbabies...and you asked if I always believed that they would come.

Lots of times I doubted but somewhere on the path I realized that whether they came or not wasn't important any longer...well I would be so sad..but what I was learning along the way, along my ttc journey was what was important to mmy soul and whether they came or not wasn't the be all end all..I would be okay, and I realized after one of my m/c's that the grace in that loss was the fact that I had that baby inside for a brief time, long enough for me to be thankful, and I realized that if I lived in a state of gratitude all the time for whatever the goodness I had in life, then I would be full...that was the grace in the moment that came and would never leave.

So, there are some suggestions, yoga, find a spiritual teacher to support you...Dr. Wayne Dyer is just one of many but I love him, meditate...out in nature if you can....and then just be okay...just be yourself.

It's okay to be sad, depressed....this state often propels us to act, to move forward on our path...as long as it's not clinical depression that is harmful and you need medical help. Accept where you are on the path and know that it's good too...even the dark, anxious moments are good....just try to move into the light more and more as your energy to manifest does better when you are feeling happy and joyfilled...and grateful for what you do have.

I just want to tell you a little inside story of what's going on for me right now...I'm on the other side of the wall...well I have always been here but sometimes I just didn't know it if you know what I now mean...but my babies are all here and life should be good right?...all roses and sunshine right?...well wrongo...if your life isn't working for you before you have kids...it often gets harder once they come...I'm really busy most of the time, crazy busy with our housefull of kids...if you read my posts you know me and what my life is like...plus I'm still grieving my mom's loss a few months ago...this spring kind of sucked in many ways...and there were days when I was run off my feet and I uttered those words,'my life sucks!'....then about a week ago..

I was out with my DH for our date night...ha if you can call it that...after we put the babies to bed we went to our local big box grocery store to get groceries....we were trying to make the best of it...not very romantic to be sure but hey we needed food for our tribe and I had hardly talked to him in months...we both always fall asleep exhausted at night...it's just been busy, rough...then as I turned into an aisle a woman said, 'hope'....so nice to see you...I just looked at this woman with a bloated body, her head wrapped in a scraf...her sunken eyes surrounded with dark circles and she didn't have any eyebrows.

I didn't recognize her at all....then she introduced me to her husband and said, 'I met Hope through the MOTHER Goose' program which I fascilitated last year.'...and then I went aha...aha!...I knew her then....and I remembered hearing that she was sick.

I asked her how she was and she said that she was good...today no cane, yippee...and they were waiting for the latest test results with hope...she then went on to say that her oldest was turning 9 on Monday and they had to buy things for his birthday...her parents were coming so they could have a nice family party.

We parted with me hugging her and wishing her well....but the thoughts of her have lingered...I then told my DH that she had been fighting leukmia and that she had a little guy who was 8, a DD who was 6 and a little guy who was around 4...the thoughts of her stayed with both my DH and I as we shopped and then unloaded our grocery haul on our Sat night.

A week later I saw her again...I loading my 2 year old and the babies into the van after being at the park and at that moment I was thinking...this was really hard....and then she was out on the sidewalk and saying, 'hi Hope.' in her wonderful cheerful way....I turned to see her with her cane....I gave her a hug, we talked about the nice weather...b/c we have been having only rain lately and it was beautiful that day...and then I left.

But as I drove home...I just whispered, 'thank you Angels'...for reminding me yet again...it could always be worse, life can always be harder...it doesn't matter what wall we have on our path...it can always feel like it is too much for us to bear...and then I'm given a piece of grace again...a little reminder that life is always good...that as long as I'm living, I'm breathing, I'm living on earth and growing as a soul...life is good.

Think about that...what is being depressed, sad, unhappy, not believing in the good of anything giving you?...maybe it's time to shift that perspective....even if you are having to fake it for awhile..

Well, I'd better close as my family has tried to talk to me on several occasions while I wrote to you and I always feel like such a fake...here they need me and I'm busy on my boards....I've got to go and live my life...and you too...surround yourself with positive people...oh and print off that poem Deserata...and post it where you see it all the time....you are a child of the UNIVERSE and you deserve to be happy. All shall be well.

Hugs from Hope
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Hope2009
Hope2009

June 22nd, 2012, 4:23 am #5


Desiderata

-- written by Max Ehrmann in the 1920s --
Not "Found in Old St. Paul's Church"! -- see below

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.


With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
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Joined: November 20th, 2006, 6:03 pm

June 22nd, 2012, 2:51 pm #6

I hadn't thought of it in years - I'm going to post it up too as a reminder of how to handle life with grace and dignity, as you do. Thanks much,
Kenny
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Joined: November 27th, 2011, 4:22 pm

June 22nd, 2012, 6:08 pm #7

Desiderata

-- written by Max Ehrmann in the 1920s --
Not "Found in Old St. Paul's Church"! -- see below

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.


With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
Hope has been an inspiration to me as well! I always look forward to her positive, motivational posts and take a lot of comfort in her words...

As a natural pessimist, the overall attitude of optimism is a tough one for me. Although I choose to view myself as a realist and not a pessimist (semantics, I know), the result is basically the same - I'm constantly trying to shield myself from major let-down by always expecting the worst. Of course, I'm very pleasantly surprised and happy when the worst doesn't happen, but I tell myself that at least I'm prepared for it if it does. Honestly, it's a crappy way to live!

One thing Hope suggested to me a few months ago was to get into the habit of doing daily positive affirmations. This may sound silly to some, but I do believe strongly in the power of self-talk - the things you say (and think!) about yourself are quite powerful and will eventually shape your attitude about life. I wrote some affirmations when I was newly pregnant and in constant fear that I would lose my babies, just like I had every other time before. (I posted them here a while back, so I won't do it again, but you can search if you're interested). 3 months later, I still have them taped to my bathroom mirror. I don't say them word-for-word anymore, but I say some version of them either in my head or out loud every single day. Even if the positive words relax me for 10 minutes, it's enough. And though I did lose one of the babies, I continued to say the affirmations during the time of that miscarriage and they helped me tremendously...

Good luck!
Leigh
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