really struggling - should I take antidepressants?

really struggling - should I take antidepressants?

Anonymous
Anonymous

July 4th, 2012, 7:48 am #1

I feel like I should take antidepressants, but don't want to while TTC. I have all the classic symptoms of depression, continual sadness even during times that I should be happy. I also can't get motivated to do any of the work around the house, and I just sit in front of the TV or computer. Any suggestions for me?
Quote
Share

Joined: May 10th, 2011, 11:57 pm

July 4th, 2012, 1:05 pm #2

Infertility makes all of us depressed at one time or another. You're wise to try to avoid antidepressants because many of them have recently been linked to birth defects, but that doesn't mean there's no help for you. I found talk therapy to be very helpful for mild depression; see if your doctor can refer you to a good therapist. Even if your insurance will only cover a few sessions, you can learn some techniques for dealing with negative thoughts, etc.

You and your doctor might still decide that in your case, the benefits of antidepressants outweigh the risks, but I think you'd still want to wait until the second trimester of pregnancy.

Good luck! If you're new, this board is a great place for support.
Quote
Like
Share

Joined: December 4th, 2007, 6:59 pm

July 4th, 2012, 1:41 pm #3

I feel like I should take antidepressants, but don't want to while TTC. I have all the classic symptoms of depression, continual sadness even during times that I should be happy. I also can't get motivated to do any of the work around the house, and I just sit in front of the TV or computer. Any suggestions for me?
Are you seeing a therapist/counselor? I'd had a great one for ten years. I swear if it wasn't for her I'd be in the looney bin! I was dealing with a lot in life in addition to dealing with infertility, so I was already on AD's when we did the cycle.

I stayed on them through the cycle as I felt my emotional/mental health was very important as well. It didn't affect my cycle (had twins). There are a few that are deemed safe (everything we take has a chance of side effects though, although small) to take during pg. Zoloft is one (I was on it). It's been on the market for years and studied extensively.

I think you need to do what it takes to help you cope. ((hugs))
Last edited by Miracle_Wanted on July 4th, 2012, 1:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Quote
Like
Share

Antonialisa
Antonialisa

July 4th, 2012, 2:24 pm #4

I feel like I should take antidepressants, but don't want to while TTC. I have all the classic symptoms of depression, continual sadness even during times that I should be happy. I also can't get motivated to do any of the work around the house, and I just sit in front of the TV or computer. Any suggestions for me?
Depression runs in my family and we are all highly susceptible. It is really rotten. Here is my list of 3 top things to do:

1) Go onto Amazon and order these 2 books: i) the Mindful Way Through Depression by Jon Kabat Zinn (make sure it has the meditation CD) and ii) Feeling Good Book or Handbook by David Burns.

Sometimes things seem so bleak but both these books made me see that my own thoughts (such as thinking "My dreams will never come true" every day) actually made me sadder than I already was. Both books are life changing!

2) Remember when you were happy and did lots of fun things and enjoyed life? Write down a list of all the things you used to enjoy doing back then. My list includes: summer picnics, going to the art gallery, having lunch with a friend, going for a bicycle ride. Unfortunately, depression is a negative spiral and when you don't do fun things anymore, you enjoy life even less, and then, really don't feel like doing anything.

However, you CAN reverse that spiral by doing one fun thing on your list every day. If you can bring more enjoyment back into your life, you can still tackle infertility and still keep going with your plan, but you can be a bit happier while you do it.

3) I agree with the above suggestions: an excellent therapist. Some are not good. In my opinion, a really great sign that you have a good one is when you feel a lightening of the load as you are leaving, a reduction of the heaviness on your chest and a reduced emotional burden.

Good luck to you! IF is absolute crap but you CAN still enjoy life while TTC.
Quote
Share

Joined: August 6th, 2011, 6:43 am

July 4th, 2012, 3:53 pm #5

I feel like I should take antidepressants, but don't want to while TTC. I have all the classic symptoms of depression, continual sadness even during times that I should be happy. I also can't get motivated to do any of the work around the house, and I just sit in front of the TV or computer. Any suggestions for me?
I know how you feel. I think most everyone struggling to conceive has some level of anxiey and or depression. It got really bad for me. I asked my RE and he told me not to start an antidepressant unless I absolutely had to. So I found a very sweet infertility therapist and logged on to this board everyday instead. You could also try reading the book "The Art of Happiness".

I did take an antidepressant years ago for about six months after a divorce. They do not make you feel better about the situation. They just numb all your emotions. And they make you feel weird for a few weeks when you stop taking them. I think going for walks, eating healthy, talking with a therapist are the best things you can do. If you are spiritual then praying would also help.

I hope you feel better.
Quote
Like
Share

thesameboat
thesameboat

July 4th, 2012, 4:36 pm #6

I feel like I should take antidepressants, but don't want to while TTC. I have all the classic symptoms of depression, continual sadness even during times that I should be happy. I also can't get motivated to do any of the work around the house, and I just sit in front of the TV or computer. Any suggestions for me?
I am in no way knowledgeable about depression, so take what I say with a grain of salt. I think there are two kinds of things we call depression. One is from being sad because something is wrong in your life, death, divorce, failure at some longed-for goal... missing holding the baby you know you should have had by now. I don't think drugs are the way to cope with this.

The other kind is physical and can be treated with antidepressants.

Please don't give up. Try to get up and do something, even something small, that you can be proud of at night when you go to bed. I promise you it will help the time pass much better until you have your baby.

I have to admit I used to drink FAR too much wine in the evenings to numb myself to forget until bedtime. I remember wishing some doctor would give me anti-depressants, but I was afraid to ask for them for fear we would someday try to adopt and be asked if we had ever taken them and have that count against us. It felt like we had so much against us anyway. It took me a LONG time to focus on doing one thing every day I could feel proud of that night. Walk a mile, finish something I started a long time ago, clean out a box in the dang basement, anything.

And that worked wonders for me.

I suspect, just because of where you're posting this, that your infertility is the reason for your depression. If you suspect it isn't, this might not be the right advice. Please, if you feel that you are in danger, do seek help. And let us know what happens, OK?
Quote
Share

Coco
Coco

July 4th, 2012, 7:59 pm #7

I feel like I should take antidepressants, but don't want to while TTC. I have all the classic symptoms of depression, continual sadness even during times that I should be happy. I also can't get motivated to do any of the work around the house, and I just sit in front of the TV or computer. Any suggestions for me?
I was on anti-depressants for 7 years (prozac). I started accupuncture for my depression and got off the drugs. It changed my energy levels completely and I haven't been clinically depressed since (and that was over 10 years ago).
Quote
Share

Joined: September 13th, 2008, 5:13 pm

July 5th, 2012, 2:49 am #8

Depression runs in my family and we are all highly susceptible. It is really rotten. Here is my list of 3 top things to do:

1) Go onto Amazon and order these 2 books: i) the Mindful Way Through Depression by Jon Kabat Zinn (make sure it has the meditation CD) and ii) Feeling Good Book or Handbook by David Burns.

Sometimes things seem so bleak but both these books made me see that my own thoughts (such as thinking "My dreams will never come true" every day) actually made me sadder than I already was. Both books are life changing!

2) Remember when you were happy and did lots of fun things and enjoyed life? Write down a list of all the things you used to enjoy doing back then. My list includes: summer picnics, going to the art gallery, having lunch with a friend, going for a bicycle ride. Unfortunately, depression is a negative spiral and when you don't do fun things anymore, you enjoy life even less, and then, really don't feel like doing anything.

However, you CAN reverse that spiral by doing one fun thing on your list every day. If you can bring more enjoyment back into your life, you can still tackle infertility and still keep going with your plan, but you can be a bit happier while you do it.

3) I agree with the above suggestions: an excellent therapist. Some are not good. In my opinion, a really great sign that you have a good one is when you feel a lightening of the load as you are leaving, a reduction of the heaviness on your chest and a reduced emotional burden.

Good luck to you! IF is absolute crap but you CAN still enjoy life while TTC.
It's the Bible of cognitive therapy, and my therapist used some of the tables and charts right out of it. Also, try to get a cognitive therapist. Don't be afraid to get a new one if you're not getting better w/one -- the pp who says not all therapists are good is right.

As to antidepressants, the other big reason aside from ttc to try cognitive therapy first is the side effects can be very difficult and they don't work for everyone. Finding the right SSRI or SSNRI can be a frustrating process of trial and error.

Hope you feel better soon!

Maggie (in VA)
Quote
Like
Share

demomone
demomone

July 5th, 2012, 3:09 am #9

I feel like I should take antidepressants, but don't want to while TTC. I have all the classic symptoms of depression, continual sadness even during times that I should be happy. I also can't get motivated to do any of the work around the house, and I just sit in front of the TV or computer. Any suggestions for me?
I work in the field and I am a huge advocate for treating depression when needed..That said, there are many ways to treat it.
I chose to use antidepressants when I began to experience symptoms while I was TTC..I was on them and still am...two years after my baby was born. I wish I had not used them..It has been only recently found that the SSRI's can cause heart defects in utero...My baby was born with a heart defect..It was found early (only after birth) and she was treated for it.
You need to be seen by a psychiatrist who specializes in this area and knows the ins and outs of properly treating depression. There are two psychiatrists at Columbia University...Margaret Spinelli specializes in women/pregnancy and depression...you can google her. If you are not close by, you may want to do a phone consult with her..Another doctor who works at Columbia as well and treats patients with more holistic methods..is Dick Brown..you can google him as well.
I was limited in what I could use, as I have several medical issues that do not permit me to use many different drugs and alternative treatments.
The other thing..is to find a good therapist and see them once or twice a week...That should also be someone who specializes in TTC issues.
Good luck to you.
Quote
Share

Joined: December 4th, 2007, 6:59 pm

July 5th, 2012, 4:01 am #10

I know how you feel. I think most everyone struggling to conceive has some level of anxiey and or depression. It got really bad for me. I asked my RE and he told me not to start an antidepressant unless I absolutely had to. So I found a very sweet infertility therapist and logged on to this board everyday instead. You could also try reading the book "The Art of Happiness".

I did take an antidepressant years ago for about six months after a divorce. They do not make you feel better about the situation. They just numb all your emotions. And they make you feel weird for a few weeks when you stop taking them. I think going for walks, eating healthy, talking with a therapist are the best things you can do. If you are spiritual then praying would also help.

I hope you feel better.
I noticed that you said the AD's "numb all your emotions", if they did that to you, then you weren't on the right med for you. They do not, nor are they meant to, numb your emotions. They are med to help with the major swings of hills and valleys of emotions so in doing so, it often does help with the outlook on the situation.

I've been on AD's for years and they definitely don't numb anything (I very much felt the emotions and pain of infertility and of my xDH's affairs and later divorce, for an example).

There are many kinds out there, sometimes it take some figuring out before finding the right one.

Also, they should not make you feel weird when stopping. They should always be weaned off of - no cold turkey.

Last edited by Miracle_Wanted on July 5th, 2012, 4:02 am, edited 1 time in total.
Quote
Like
Share