Please help w/donor quest

Please help w/donor quest

etta
etta

May 23rd, 2011, 7:03 pm #1

Please would some of you wonderful women on here please tell me what would make you pass on a donor...height? certain medical conditions in the family? If it is/was a medical condition how close of a relative would it have to be to be worried? I do not know what to do. I do not know how any of you got to this point without going crazy! Thanks for your very precious time...really
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jerseyblue
jerseyblue

May 23rd, 2011, 8:04 pm #2

First off you have to start with what is important to YOU. No matter how petty or large the issue in the end you have to be comfortable with your decision. For me - the selection process took a long time. I went the agency route which meant I had loads of choices - pretty much any agency out there. I lost 5 donors along the way (for a variety of reasons ie not putting a deposit down fast enough, one failing my RE's tests, one having a "hidden" medical issue, one I found out did soft porn etc.) Along the process I went from having the most rigid set of criteria and by the end I had hardly any I just wanted to get the process going! In the end I gave up on someone who looks like me (my donor looks NOTHING like me) and someone with a good educational background (she dropped out of college to have a baby) ... what I ended up with in order of importance to me is:

1 - A great personality and a funny person
2 - Intelligent
3 - A good family medical history. (My family is very heathy and I felt it was fair to want this.) I would look closely at any medical conditions that could be inherited
4 - Attractive- with no strong features (I ruled one gal out who had a big chin as neither DH or I do.)
5 - Around my height (I'm 5'5" and I was looking between 5'4" and 5' - 8" as DH's family is taller).

Since her personality was so important to me - I did a little poking around. I used some awards she had won to figure out who she was and ended up on her facebook page. What I realized is that she was FUNNY, smart, kind, outgoing, devilish ad loyal. And, this was EXACTLY what I wanted in a donor!

I must add that I know not everyone wants to get that much info on a donor (I really had to to be ok with my decision) I did end up finding out unseemly things about one donor (soft porn) which really bothered me (and I had put money down on her already!) By the way she was an Ivy league graduate (for real I checked) and had won a prestigious competition. From what I understood she was pursuing acting and felt that the soft porn along with another unseemly endeavor would help her fund her pursuits. In the end not for me.
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etta
etta

May 23rd, 2011, 9:26 pm #3

For the info. Wow you went through a lot too! Hopefully it worked out for you. I hope it does for everyone!
I really do appreciate your reply
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Newbie
Newbie

May 24th, 2011, 1:27 am #4

Please would some of you wonderful women on here please tell me what would make you pass on a donor...height? certain medical conditions in the family? If it is/was a medical condition how close of a relative would it have to be to be worried? I do not know what to do. I do not know how any of you got to this point without going crazy! Thanks for your very precious time...really
Don't dismiss that it is a hard choice. At the beginning it seemed daunting. However, after going thru the batches you will start to find yourself being swayed by the same type. Also something to take in to consideration is the different avenues of where you are finding your donors. Some agencies are more expensive then others. This might help you decide with who you want to work with.

Some people it is height related. There are many folks who will also classify donors depending on what type of under gradute facility attended. Also depending on where you are cycling, some of their requirements might cause you to look at one donor over another. One local clinic near me would not allow someone over the age of twenty nine to be a donor another would not let someone who carries the cystic fibrosis gene.
Good luck in your search.
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etta
etta

May 24th, 2011, 1:53 pm #5

Appreciate the reply so much
Prob going the clinic route...so should be even more limited. sigh
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