Married/Single Insurance Question

Married/Single Insurance Question

Anon
Anon

March 8th, 2011, 3:43 pm #1

I am married but separated and want to do DE. I get BC/BS through my husband even though we're separated.

I want to tell the hospital I am single, but when asked for insurance info they always ask for the primary; my husband, who has a different first name...though he legally shares an address with me.

Is there a chance this won't be noticed? Or do I need to have the convo with my husband? I know the hospital will want him to come in and sign all manner of legal form, which he won't like...

thx





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Orchid
Orchid

March 8th, 2011, 4:21 pm #2

You want to tell them you are single but have husband's insurance? And these are the papers he needs to sign?

If you are legally married, then you are legally married. I mean, you could probably just say 'husband is not in on this project' if you wanted to explain his absence. If you really want them to know you're single, I guess just tell them and see what they do.

Maybe set him up and explain that he'll have to sign papers first. In case he refuses. But that seems like it will cover your bases.

Am I understanding the question correctly?
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kacee
kacee

March 8th, 2011, 4:46 pm #3

I am married but separated and want to do DE. I get BC/BS through my husband even though we're separated.

I want to tell the hospital I am single, but when asked for insurance info they always ask for the primary; my husband, who has a different first name...though he legally shares an address with me.

Is there a chance this won't be noticed? Or do I need to have the convo with my husband? I know the hospital will want him to come in and sign all manner of legal form, which he won't like...

thx




You are married and he will have to sign off. Are you doing a transfer, or are you already pg? If you are married, he will be considered the father.
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Joined: September 13th, 2008, 5:13 pm

March 8th, 2011, 6:18 pm #4

I am married but separated and want to do DE. I get BC/BS through my husband even though we're separated.

I want to tell the hospital I am single, but when asked for insurance info they always ask for the primary; my husband, who has a different first name...though he legally shares an address with me.

Is there a chance this won't be noticed? Or do I need to have the convo with my husband? I know the hospital will want him to come in and sign all manner of legal form, which he won't like...

thx




I think it's unlikely a clinic won't notice as you have to give the primary insured's name, and trust me, I thought about every way I could to work around this. I could have gotten on my insurance at work, but it was inferior to my husband's and he would have become immediately suspicious if I had voluntarily downgraded my insurance. My husband was actually using my desire to go forward ttc to strong-arm me into making financial concessions that would have ruined me. Your husband won't just not like it; his lawyer will tell him not to do it as he will be legally father of your child unless you are divorced.

The best thing to do would be go ahead and get your divorce finalized. If you don't want to wait, you can e-mail me at r i o t s q u i r r l at gmail.com and I can give you an idea of some other options you may have. But let me know if you do e-mail me as I rarely check that account.

Take care,

Maggie (in VA)
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Joined: September 13th, 2008, 5:13 pm

March 8th, 2011, 7:07 pm #5

I am married but separated and want to do DE. I get BC/BS through my husband even though we're separated.

I want to tell the hospital I am single, but when asked for insurance info they always ask for the primary; my husband, who has a different first name...though he legally shares an address with me.

Is there a chance this won't be noticed? Or do I need to have the convo with my husband? I know the hospital will want him to come in and sign all manner of legal form, which he won't like...

thx




Tell your husband of your intention if you have not already. If you have, it might be best to pretend you've let the idea drop. Otherwise he can do the same to you as my husband did to me. Don't think, "Oh, Joe would never do anything like that to me." His attorney may have other plans. Also, if you don't think you have real privacy on your computer, don't communicate about this on your home computer; go to the library or get a notebook, netbook, etc., he doesn't know about and only use it at the coffee shop, etc. Sorry if I sound strident; this is all hard-earned advice :-/ . Maggie (in VA)
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Happy
Happy

March 8th, 2011, 9:28 pm #6

I am married but separated and want to do DE. I get BC/BS through my husband even though we're separated.

I want to tell the hospital I am single, but when asked for insurance info they always ask for the primary; my husband, who has a different first name...though he legally shares an address with me.

Is there a chance this won't be noticed? Or do I need to have the convo with my husband? I know the hospital will want him to come in and sign all manner of legal form, which he won't like...

thx




Being a divorced mom myself, you will be required to legally state that you are or are not pregnant when you go through a divorce. Child support will be raised as an issue if you are pregnant.
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anon for this
anon for this

March 9th, 2011, 2:23 am #7

I am married but separated and want to do DE. I get BC/BS through my husband even though we're separated.

I want to tell the hospital I am single, but when asked for insurance info they always ask for the primary; my husband, who has a different first name...though he legally shares an address with me.

Is there a chance this won't be noticed? Or do I need to have the convo with my husband? I know the hospital will want him to come in and sign all manner of legal form, which he won't like...

thx




if you are hoping for insurance to cover, you may have a few barriers

you may need to say you've been trying for at least a year and without a partner that may mean IUI's at a doctors office

I don't think you can show up and get DE covered w/o showing reason why DE is necessary, i.e. failed iVF's or premature ovarian failure.

if you have a friend you can bring with you and be "a couple" that would work best. Nicer to have someone you know. even better if it's a relative of yours so your genetics are part of the child. bonus would be same last name which makes you look married. MAKE SURE THAT PERSON IS COMMITTED TO PROCESS.

if you are young there are fewer insurance barriers such as age related infertility that prevent insurance from covering

not sure what you are trying to do but I wouldn't tell hospital your marital status. I'd say single. there are single women who have ex's insurance through a divorce decree. go with that. you can be single w/ a partner or w/o and using donor sperm.

i wouldn't tell husband either. I can't imagine he'd have to sign anything related to insurance. In example of ex providing insurance, he wouldn't have access to reason why your are receiving care. that would be confidential.
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Joined: August 12th, 2004, 4:42 pm

March 9th, 2011, 5:16 am #8

I am married but separated and want to do DE. I get BC/BS through my husband even though we're separated.

I want to tell the hospital I am single, but when asked for insurance info they always ask for the primary; my husband, who has a different first name...though he legally shares an address with me.

Is there a chance this won't be noticed? Or do I need to have the convo with my husband? I know the hospital will want him to come in and sign all manner of legal form, which he won't like...

thx




...I'm not sure why he would have to sign papers (because I'm single, I never had to go through anything like this, so I really don't understand!). I mean, it's not like his signature is giving you "permission" to use his insurance; you're legally entitled to it, right? What does making him sign a paper accomplish? (Pretty scary thing if he could hypothetically use his insurance to manipulate or blackmail you in any way!)

Maya

Last edited by Maya3 on March 9th, 2011, 5:20 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Joined: August 12th, 2004, 4:42 pm

March 9th, 2011, 5:24 am #9

if you are hoping for insurance to cover, you may have a few barriers

you may need to say you've been trying for at least a year and without a partner that may mean IUI's at a doctors office

I don't think you can show up and get DE covered w/o showing reason why DE is necessary, i.e. failed iVF's or premature ovarian failure.

if you have a friend you can bring with you and be "a couple" that would work best. Nicer to have someone you know. even better if it's a relative of yours so your genetics are part of the child. bonus would be same last name which makes you look married. MAKE SURE THAT PERSON IS COMMITTED TO PROCESS.

if you are young there are fewer insurance barriers such as age related infertility that prevent insurance from covering

not sure what you are trying to do but I wouldn't tell hospital your marital status. I'd say single. there are single women who have ex's insurance through a divorce decree. go with that. you can be single w/ a partner or w/o and using donor sperm.

i wouldn't tell husband either. I can't imagine he'd have to sign anything related to insurance. In example of ex providing insurance, he wouldn't have access to reason why your are receiving care. that would be confidential.
You're suggesting bringing another person along to be the sperm donor in the DE-IVF process, right? I think that's a very personal decision, and not one I'd recommend to somebody for reasons of expediency! If the poster is planning to parent as a Single Mother by Choice, I would recommend she use donor sperm, as there's no chance of any kind of legal entanglement in the future (child support or custody questions).

Maya
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anon for this
anon for this

March 9th, 2011, 12:40 pm #10

a relative provides a genetic link which is something that a woman using DE might welcome.
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