just when I thought I could take a deep breath...

just when I thought I could take a deep breath...

Joined: October 14th, 2009, 3:44 am

August 15th, 2011, 8:38 pm #1

I don't know what each of your journeys has been like, so I can't know if this is a common experience or not. But, during my OE IVF attempts I was just constantly flooding with worries about and actual proof of my body's failures with every low follicle count, every high fsh test, every cyst, every single thing that my body did to show me that it couldn't or wouldn't cooperate. This is actually why I stopped with my OE because I just.couldn't.deal. The dread and fear of every afternoon call from the RE's office got to be too much.

And so, I thought (oh so foolishly) that maybe at least that part of the whole process would diminish when we switched to DE. Alas..such is not the case. My $%#$^$#^%#$ paraovarian cyst...that have had FOREVER, that NEVER does anything, is producing estrogen! So the bcp's and the lupron are just not suppressing me enough and my E2 is still at 159 and I can't start my cycle. Now, I know this is only a prep cycle, but it was all planned (practically guaranteed by my nurse) to be a foolproof system. It was to be no problem that we are going to the beach for 10 days in the middle of the cycle, because I wouldn't need any ultrasounds during that time. Now, of course, everything is on hold....more lupron...more blood tests....more waiting....will I get to start my prep cycle? will I need an U/S on vacation? will this happen again when we are finally matched with a donor and trying to get all synced up?

ARGHGHGHGHGHGH!!!

Thanks for letting me vent...

M
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Joined: September 13th, 2008, 5:13 pm

August 15th, 2011, 8:59 pm #2

{{Hug}} I know waiting is hard. When the clinic did the saline hysterosonogram prior to DE, they found out I had banding in my uterus. The surgery was scheduled for about six weeks later, but then the doctor's assistant didn't tell me to alter my HRT regime to be at the right place in my cycle, and I had to wait about 2 mos. more. Then my marriage went on the rocks and I waited another 5-6 months trying to get that straightened out before I had my first cycle. And when that didn't work, the foreign clinic I used couldn't give me an opening for another four months. Waiting sucks. Wishing you better times and a BFP before too long. Take care, Maggie (in VA)
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Joined: October 14th, 2009, 3:44 am

August 15th, 2011, 9:15 pm #3

A little perspective is always helpful. I know we've all had to wait for so many things along this journey. Yet, it never seems to get any easier..at least for me.

Thanks for sharing :>

Melissa
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Kacee
Kacee

August 15th, 2011, 10:03 pm #4

I don't know what each of your journeys has been like, so I can't know if this is a common experience or not. But, during my OE IVF attempts I was just constantly flooding with worries about and actual proof of my body's failures with every low follicle count, every high fsh test, every cyst, every single thing that my body did to show me that it couldn't or wouldn't cooperate. This is actually why I stopped with my OE because I just.couldn't.deal. The dread and fear of every afternoon call from the RE's office got to be too much.

And so, I thought (oh so foolishly) that maybe at least that part of the whole process would diminish when we switched to DE. Alas..such is not the case. My $%#$^$#^%#$ paraovarian cyst...that have had FOREVER, that NEVER does anything, is producing estrogen! So the bcp's and the lupron are just not suppressing me enough and my E2 is still at 159 and I can't start my cycle. Now, I know this is only a prep cycle, but it was all planned (practically guaranteed by my nurse) to be a foolproof system. It was to be no problem that we are going to the beach for 10 days in the middle of the cycle, because I wouldn't need any ultrasounds during that time. Now, of course, everything is on hold....more lupron...more blood tests....more waiting....will I get to start my prep cycle? will I need an U/S on vacation? will this happen again when we are finally matched with a donor and trying to get all synced up?

ARGHGHGHGHGHGH!!!

Thanks for letting me vent...

M
nt
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Joined: February 6th, 2008, 8:16 pm

August 15th, 2011, 10:13 pm #5

I don't know what each of your journeys has been like, so I can't know if this is a common experience or not. But, during my OE IVF attempts I was just constantly flooding with worries about and actual proof of my body's failures with every low follicle count, every high fsh test, every cyst, every single thing that my body did to show me that it couldn't or wouldn't cooperate. This is actually why I stopped with my OE because I just.couldn't.deal. The dread and fear of every afternoon call from the RE's office got to be too much.

And so, I thought (oh so foolishly) that maybe at least that part of the whole process would diminish when we switched to DE. Alas..such is not the case. My $%#$^$#^%#$ paraovarian cyst...that have had FOREVER, that NEVER does anything, is producing estrogen! So the bcp's and the lupron are just not suppressing me enough and my E2 is still at 159 and I can't start my cycle. Now, I know this is only a prep cycle, but it was all planned (practically guaranteed by my nurse) to be a foolproof system. It was to be no problem that we are going to the beach for 10 days in the middle of the cycle, because I wouldn't need any ultrasounds during that time. Now, of course, everything is on hold....more lupron...more blood tests....more waiting....will I get to start my prep cycle? will I need an U/S on vacation? will this happen again when we are finally matched with a donor and trying to get all synced up?

ARGHGHGHGHGHGH!!!

Thanks for letting me vent...

M
Seriously , I did a cycle in April this year where I ovulated THROUGH BC and Lupron and had to scrap that whole cycle. I found cursing loudly and extravagantly while alone in my car really helped. It is just so frustrating and feels really unfair. I am sorry this is the way it is going for you right now.
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Joined: May 10th, 2011, 11:57 pm

August 15th, 2011, 10:56 pm #6

I don't know what each of your journeys has been like, so I can't know if this is a common experience or not. But, during my OE IVF attempts I was just constantly flooding with worries about and actual proof of my body's failures with every low follicle count, every high fsh test, every cyst, every single thing that my body did to show me that it couldn't or wouldn't cooperate. This is actually why I stopped with my OE because I just.couldn't.deal. The dread and fear of every afternoon call from the RE's office got to be too much.

And so, I thought (oh so foolishly) that maybe at least that part of the whole process would diminish when we switched to DE. Alas..such is not the case. My $%#$^$#^%#$ paraovarian cyst...that have had FOREVER, that NEVER does anything, is producing estrogen! So the bcp's and the lupron are just not suppressing me enough and my E2 is still at 159 and I can't start my cycle. Now, I know this is only a prep cycle, but it was all planned (practically guaranteed by my nurse) to be a foolproof system. It was to be no problem that we are going to the beach for 10 days in the middle of the cycle, because I wouldn't need any ultrasounds during that time. Now, of course, everything is on hold....more lupron...more blood tests....more waiting....will I get to start my prep cycle? will I need an U/S on vacation? will this happen again when we are finally matched with a donor and trying to get all synced up?

ARGHGHGHGHGHGH!!!

Thanks for letting me vent...

M
It's maddening, isn't it? The loss of ANY kind of control over your schedule, coupled with the body's non-cooperation. Hang in there. I know it's hard, but eventually it will all fall into place. My fingers are crossed for you.
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Joined: December 8th, 2006, 11:41 pm

August 16th, 2011, 7:20 am #7

I don't know what each of your journeys has been like, so I can't know if this is a common experience or not. But, during my OE IVF attempts I was just constantly flooding with worries about and actual proof of my body's failures with every low follicle count, every high fsh test, every cyst, every single thing that my body did to show me that it couldn't or wouldn't cooperate. This is actually why I stopped with my OE because I just.couldn't.deal. The dread and fear of every afternoon call from the RE's office got to be too much.

And so, I thought (oh so foolishly) that maybe at least that part of the whole process would diminish when we switched to DE. Alas..such is not the case. My $%#$^$#^%#$ paraovarian cyst...that have had FOREVER, that NEVER does anything, is producing estrogen! So the bcp's and the lupron are just not suppressing me enough and my E2 is still at 159 and I can't start my cycle. Now, I know this is only a prep cycle, but it was all planned (practically guaranteed by my nurse) to be a foolproof system. It was to be no problem that we are going to the beach for 10 days in the middle of the cycle, because I wouldn't need any ultrasounds during that time. Now, of course, everything is on hold....more lupron...more blood tests....more waiting....will I get to start my prep cycle? will I need an U/S on vacation? will this happen again when we are finally matched with a donor and trying to get all synced up?

ARGHGHGHGHGHGH!!!

Thanks for letting me vent...

M
I know I know, there is ALWAYS something isn't there. I'd be p***d off too and the only way to deal with it is keep pushing on through and of course giving us the vent. That's what we are here for. I am so sorry this has happened for you. I hope you won't need that u/s on hols and that you can at least relax then. Wishing you the best. Good Luck.
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