Does the universe really talk to us? (prior success and m/c's mentioned)

Does the universe really talk to us? (prior success and m/c's mentioned)

futurebeauty
futurebeauty

February 26th, 2012, 7:31 pm #1

Who believes this stuff? Apparently, I do these days and I have even caught myself saying the universe this and the universe that in casual conversations lately. So if this is true that the universe can be talking to us, then I guess I have not been listening. I think the universe is trying to tell me that my days of being pg and having a newborn again are over. I just don't want to listen now or ever but what if it is true and I continue to fail and hurt myself and my family over and over again????

I have 2 OE children: DD is 7 and DS is 4 today. We had our first easily after 3-6 months of trying. I was 33 when she conceived and 34 at her birth. When we got around to TTC baby #2 we started in July 2006 and I got pg 3 times and m/c'd them all at 6-8 wks. I then tried again after a 3 month break and was successful w/ our lovely DS who again turned 4 today when I was 37.

We have been TTC #3 for 3 yrs since I was 38 (almost 39) and I will be 42 in May. I had 2 final OE m/c's before moving onto DE at age 39 and 40. I recently had a twin DE pg that ended at 8 wk for one twin and 13 wk for the remaining one which was only 5 days ago. So yes, I am still mourning greatly.

I definitely have low ovarian reserve ( AFC count of 1-2 and AMH of .1 or .2) but now I may have NK cells or antiphospholipid syndrome or something else that is impeding my success besides just dumb luck.

This last pg was only 3 months long but it was a killer. I was sick everyday but I felt that I could not /should not complain since I did it to myself by making the pg happen through DE IVF and not just sitting back and hoping that prayers would solve my infertility issues.

The D & C was awesome b/c I did not have to go thru the horror of all the blood/tissue etc that I endured in the past for 4 out of 5 of my other miscarriages. I feel guilty that I feel so physically good b/c the pg was so difficult and I am glad not to be nauseous all day long but so sad that in Aug, I will not be a mother again.

I was so happy that the DE IVF worked the first time so that I could put away my struggles and just enjoy life. Now it seems that I have to open the door to all the struggling again in hopes to finish the journey. We have 2 frozen 5 day blasts left that I will transfer ( 1 at a time) starting in July as this pg really taught me that I do not want twins due to my other children's needs and my work obligations.

We are having the pathology of the babies examined and I should have some answers in a wk or so. I will also be having alot of testing on myself and I really want to lose some wt and feel good about myself again. I have always looked so much younger than my age and now, I think I am looking my age. Ugh.

I think I needed to vent to people who understand b/c no one my real life gets how much pain is in my heart.

I hope that everyone on here has success in their next cycle or very very soon as the pain and struggles of IF does not go away but it does weaken w/ success.

Thanks for reading today.

FB
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Joined: June 2nd, 2007, 7:45 am

February 26th, 2012, 8:54 pm #2

i'm so so sorry for your loss. I think where we look for guidance is a very personal decision based on our own journeys.
Since living through 10,000 earthquakes, having lost people we know... I now believe life is far more random than I ever imagined...
I think fertility is a total crapshoot too, more similar to a natural disaster.
If your heart is telling you you have babies waiting, that is what matters.
Hugs to you m'dear
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diaphanta
diaphanta

February 26th, 2012, 9:03 pm #3

Who believes this stuff? Apparently, I do these days and I have even caught myself saying the universe this and the universe that in casual conversations lately. So if this is true that the universe can be talking to us, then I guess I have not been listening. I think the universe is trying to tell me that my days of being pg and having a newborn again are over. I just don't want to listen now or ever but what if it is true and I continue to fail and hurt myself and my family over and over again????

I have 2 OE children: DD is 7 and DS is 4 today. We had our first easily after 3-6 months of trying. I was 33 when she conceived and 34 at her birth. When we got around to TTC baby #2 we started in July 2006 and I got pg 3 times and m/c'd them all at 6-8 wks. I then tried again after a 3 month break and was successful w/ our lovely DS who again turned 4 today when I was 37.

We have been TTC #3 for 3 yrs since I was 38 (almost 39) and I will be 42 in May. I had 2 final OE m/c's before moving onto DE at age 39 and 40. I recently had a twin DE pg that ended at 8 wk for one twin and 13 wk for the remaining one which was only 5 days ago. So yes, I am still mourning greatly.

I definitely have low ovarian reserve ( AFC count of 1-2 and AMH of .1 or .2) but now I may have NK cells or antiphospholipid syndrome or something else that is impeding my success besides just dumb luck.

This last pg was only 3 months long but it was a killer. I was sick everyday but I felt that I could not /should not complain since I did it to myself by making the pg happen through DE IVF and not just sitting back and hoping that prayers would solve my infertility issues.

The D & C was awesome b/c I did not have to go thru the horror of all the blood/tissue etc that I endured in the past for 4 out of 5 of my other miscarriages. I feel guilty that I feel so physically good b/c the pg was so difficult and I am glad not to be nauseous all day long but so sad that in Aug, I will not be a mother again.

I was so happy that the DE IVF worked the first time so that I could put away my struggles and just enjoy life. Now it seems that I have to open the door to all the struggling again in hopes to finish the journey. We have 2 frozen 5 day blasts left that I will transfer ( 1 at a time) starting in July as this pg really taught me that I do not want twins due to my other children's needs and my work obligations.

We are having the pathology of the babies examined and I should have some answers in a wk or so. I will also be having alot of testing on myself and I really want to lose some wt and feel good about myself again. I have always looked so much younger than my age and now, I think I am looking my age. Ugh.

I think I needed to vent to people who understand b/c no one my real life gets how much pain is in my heart.

I hope that everyone on here has success in their next cycle or very very soon as the pain and struggles of IF does not go away but it does weaken w/ success.

Thanks for reading today.

FB
My heart goes out to you. What a horrible time you are having.

My answer is an answer I came to after spending many years on these boards, and seeing tragedy followed (almost always) by wonderful miracles.

I firmly believe that most of what happens to us is pretty random. And that randomness in the case of IF can be so terrible as it can mean we lose our precious, precious babies. Heartbreaking. But I don't believe that those losses mean that there was is a message that we are on the wrong road. Far from it.

I think that if the universe tried to communicate with us certain things weren't 'meant to be' by making them difficult, than we would we never persist with anything we found difficult. We would tell people who struggled to get a job that their eventual employment 'wasn't meant to be', or those who strived to pass their driving tests to give up asap (as someone who took over 100 lessons that is really relevant to me - took me years to pass my test and I am so glad I did!) or even to those who struggled with illnesses like cancer that it wasn't worth it as the universe was communicating to them that really they should be dead...

I believe that through god-given virtues like courage, companionship, persistance, wisdom, love, hope, we can pray and meditate and work and learn and grow stronger and develop to become the kind of people who can overcome these struggles. And someday overcome them. And that will make our victories so unbelievably precious. And that will make us wonderful parents - so very aware of our miracles, as the people on these boards are.

You ARE on the right road my dear. It is a broken road (in the word of the song) - but it will get you there one day - if you want it to.

Good luck and keep expressing yourself on these boards. If there is a message out there for you from the universe than you will receive it - specifically loud and clear from women who have walked these roads before you. And want more than anything to take you with us.



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Joined: March 31st, 2008, 2:24 pm

February 26th, 2012, 11:32 pm #4

my heart aches for you at this time. please read the post "for inspiration" I put on the green board. I too have had many failed cycles and 2 loses but I truly believe that there is a child that is meant to be mine waiting for me.Lauranz I like to way you put it, that if our heart tells us we have babies waiting for us then we are not done.
Last edited by parothead on February 26th, 2012, 11:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Dee.S
Dee.S

February 27th, 2012, 12:15 am #5

Who believes this stuff? Apparently, I do these days and I have even caught myself saying the universe this and the universe that in casual conversations lately. So if this is true that the universe can be talking to us, then I guess I have not been listening. I think the universe is trying to tell me that my days of being pg and having a newborn again are over. I just don't want to listen now or ever but what if it is true and I continue to fail and hurt myself and my family over and over again????

I have 2 OE children: DD is 7 and DS is 4 today. We had our first easily after 3-6 months of trying. I was 33 when she conceived and 34 at her birth. When we got around to TTC baby #2 we started in July 2006 and I got pg 3 times and m/c'd them all at 6-8 wks. I then tried again after a 3 month break and was successful w/ our lovely DS who again turned 4 today when I was 37.

We have been TTC #3 for 3 yrs since I was 38 (almost 39) and I will be 42 in May. I had 2 final OE m/c's before moving onto DE at age 39 and 40. I recently had a twin DE pg that ended at 8 wk for one twin and 13 wk for the remaining one which was only 5 days ago. So yes, I am still mourning greatly.

I definitely have low ovarian reserve ( AFC count of 1-2 and AMH of .1 or .2) but now I may have NK cells or antiphospholipid syndrome or something else that is impeding my success besides just dumb luck.

This last pg was only 3 months long but it was a killer. I was sick everyday but I felt that I could not /should not complain since I did it to myself by making the pg happen through DE IVF and not just sitting back and hoping that prayers would solve my infertility issues.

The D & C was awesome b/c I did not have to go thru the horror of all the blood/tissue etc that I endured in the past for 4 out of 5 of my other miscarriages. I feel guilty that I feel so physically good b/c the pg was so difficult and I am glad not to be nauseous all day long but so sad that in Aug, I will not be a mother again.

I was so happy that the DE IVF worked the first time so that I could put away my struggles and just enjoy life. Now it seems that I have to open the door to all the struggling again in hopes to finish the journey. We have 2 frozen 5 day blasts left that I will transfer ( 1 at a time) starting in July as this pg really taught me that I do not want twins due to my other children's needs and my work obligations.

We are having the pathology of the babies examined and I should have some answers in a wk or so. I will also be having alot of testing on myself and I really want to lose some wt and feel good about myself again. I have always looked so much younger than my age and now, I think I am looking my age. Ugh.

I think I needed to vent to people who understand b/c no one my real life gets how much pain is in my heart.

I hope that everyone on here has success in their next cycle or very very soon as the pain and struggles of IF does not go away but it does weaken w/ success.

Thanks for reading today.

FB
I have never even entertained the Universe talking to anyone. I know God leads and guide me through my struggles and that roller coaster ride of infertility I was on for years. I prayed and asked for his guidance to motherhood by any means necessary. Doors opened and I adopted my first son when I could not except the fact my OE were no good and DE was the only option. Then when it was time for a sibling I was gonna adopt again but the cost had gone up so much I decided to try DE. Took a while to find a donor I am African American and did not have many options. I wanted a little brother for my son, then one day a voice said to me "if you would open your heart to a little girl it will happen" I never wanted any girls ever. But after I heard God's voice speaking to me and I knew it could only be God's voice I started looking at little girls clothing and room decorations, shortly after I found a Donor and it moved quickly, I became pregnant with twins on my first try with DE. I gave birth to boy/girl twins and my little girl is more precious then I could have ever imagined. I say all of this to encourage you to pray to God for guidance and not depend on the Universe for answers. Try switching the word God for Universe in your conversations and open your heart and mind for his guidance on this journey.
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Joined: October 9th, 2008, 2:53 am

February 27th, 2012, 3:27 am #6

Who believes this stuff? Apparently, I do these days and I have even caught myself saying the universe this and the universe that in casual conversations lately. So if this is true that the universe can be talking to us, then I guess I have not been listening. I think the universe is trying to tell me that my days of being pg and having a newborn again are over. I just don't want to listen now or ever but what if it is true and I continue to fail and hurt myself and my family over and over again????

I have 2 OE children: DD is 7 and DS is 4 today. We had our first easily after 3-6 months of trying. I was 33 when she conceived and 34 at her birth. When we got around to TTC baby #2 we started in July 2006 and I got pg 3 times and m/c'd them all at 6-8 wks. I then tried again after a 3 month break and was successful w/ our lovely DS who again turned 4 today when I was 37.

We have been TTC #3 for 3 yrs since I was 38 (almost 39) and I will be 42 in May. I had 2 final OE m/c's before moving onto DE at age 39 and 40. I recently had a twin DE pg that ended at 8 wk for one twin and 13 wk for the remaining one which was only 5 days ago. So yes, I am still mourning greatly.

I definitely have low ovarian reserve ( AFC count of 1-2 and AMH of .1 or .2) but now I may have NK cells or antiphospholipid syndrome or something else that is impeding my success besides just dumb luck.

This last pg was only 3 months long but it was a killer. I was sick everyday but I felt that I could not /should not complain since I did it to myself by making the pg happen through DE IVF and not just sitting back and hoping that prayers would solve my infertility issues.

The D & C was awesome b/c I did not have to go thru the horror of all the blood/tissue etc that I endured in the past for 4 out of 5 of my other miscarriages. I feel guilty that I feel so physically good b/c the pg was so difficult and I am glad not to be nauseous all day long but so sad that in Aug, I will not be a mother again.

I was so happy that the DE IVF worked the first time so that I could put away my struggles and just enjoy life. Now it seems that I have to open the door to all the struggling again in hopes to finish the journey. We have 2 frozen 5 day blasts left that I will transfer ( 1 at a time) starting in July as this pg really taught me that I do not want twins due to my other children's needs and my work obligations.

We are having the pathology of the babies examined and I should have some answers in a wk or so. I will also be having alot of testing on myself and I really want to lose some wt and feel good about myself again. I have always looked so much younger than my age and now, I think I am looking my age. Ugh.

I think I needed to vent to people who understand b/c no one my real life gets how much pain is in my heart.

I hope that everyone on here has success in their next cycle or very very soon as the pain and struggles of IF does not go away but it does weaken w/ success.

Thanks for reading today.

FB
Future, I am sending you many many hugs. I know you are hurting. It will not always be this way. If the 'universe' gives you the 'urge' to have another child then honey that other child is out there waiting to get to you.
It is very hard when you are staring at a brick wall to see yourself climbing over it and being on the other side.
See what the test results show, see what yours show. Antiphosphlipid syndrome and NKs are fixable I"m living proof of that.
On a completely unemotional level - something is not working, find it and fix it. On an emotional level be kind to yourself and let a little time pass. It will be ok I promise you thinking of you, THK
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Joined: October 9th, 2008, 2:53 am

February 27th, 2012, 3:30 am #7

My heart goes out to you. What a horrible time you are having.

My answer is an answer I came to after spending many years on these boards, and seeing tragedy followed (almost always) by wonderful miracles.

I firmly believe that most of what happens to us is pretty random. And that randomness in the case of IF can be so terrible as it can mean we lose our precious, precious babies. Heartbreaking. But I don't believe that those losses mean that there was is a message that we are on the wrong road. Far from it.

I think that if the universe tried to communicate with us certain things weren't 'meant to be' by making them difficult, than we would we never persist with anything we found difficult. We would tell people who struggled to get a job that their eventual employment 'wasn't meant to be', or those who strived to pass their driving tests to give up asap (as someone who took over 100 lessons that is really relevant to me - took me years to pass my test and I am so glad I did!) or even to those who struggled with illnesses like cancer that it wasn't worth it as the universe was communicating to them that really they should be dead...

I believe that through god-given virtues like courage, companionship, persistance, wisdom, love, hope, we can pray and meditate and work and learn and grow stronger and develop to become the kind of people who can overcome these struggles. And someday overcome them. And that will make our victories so unbelievably precious. And that will make us wonderful parents - so very aware of our miracles, as the people on these boards are.

You ARE on the right road my dear. It is a broken road (in the word of the song) - but it will get you there one day - if you want it to.

Good luck and keep expressing yourself on these boards. If there is a message out there for you from the universe than you will receive it - specifically loud and clear from women who have walked these roads before you. And want more than anything to take you with us.


nt
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Hope2009
Hope2009

February 27th, 2012, 5:49 am #8

Who believes this stuff? Apparently, I do these days and I have even caught myself saying the universe this and the universe that in casual conversations lately. So if this is true that the universe can be talking to us, then I guess I have not been listening. I think the universe is trying to tell me that my days of being pg and having a newborn again are over. I just don't want to listen now or ever but what if it is true and I continue to fail and hurt myself and my family over and over again????

I have 2 OE children: DD is 7 and DS is 4 today. We had our first easily after 3-6 months of trying. I was 33 when she conceived and 34 at her birth. When we got around to TTC baby #2 we started in July 2006 and I got pg 3 times and m/c'd them all at 6-8 wks. I then tried again after a 3 month break and was successful w/ our lovely DS who again turned 4 today when I was 37.

We have been TTC #3 for 3 yrs since I was 38 (almost 39) and I will be 42 in May. I had 2 final OE m/c's before moving onto DE at age 39 and 40. I recently had a twin DE pg that ended at 8 wk for one twin and 13 wk for the remaining one which was only 5 days ago. So yes, I am still mourning greatly.

I definitely have low ovarian reserve ( AFC count of 1-2 and AMH of .1 or .2) but now I may have NK cells or antiphospholipid syndrome or something else that is impeding my success besides just dumb luck.

This last pg was only 3 months long but it was a killer. I was sick everyday but I felt that I could not /should not complain since I did it to myself by making the pg happen through DE IVF and not just sitting back and hoping that prayers would solve my infertility issues.

The D & C was awesome b/c I did not have to go thru the horror of all the blood/tissue etc that I endured in the past for 4 out of 5 of my other miscarriages. I feel guilty that I feel so physically good b/c the pg was so difficult and I am glad not to be nauseous all day long but so sad that in Aug, I will not be a mother again.

I was so happy that the DE IVF worked the first time so that I could put away my struggles and just enjoy life. Now it seems that I have to open the door to all the struggling again in hopes to finish the journey. We have 2 frozen 5 day blasts left that I will transfer ( 1 at a time) starting in July as this pg really taught me that I do not want twins due to my other children's needs and my work obligations.

We are having the pathology of the babies examined and I should have some answers in a wk or so. I will also be having alot of testing on myself and I really want to lose some wt and feel good about myself again. I have always looked so much younger than my age and now, I think I am looking my age. Ugh.

I think I needed to vent to people who understand b/c no one my real life gets how much pain is in my heart.

I hope that everyone on here has success in their next cycle or very very soon as the pain and struggles of IF does not go away but it does weaken w/ success.

Thanks for reading today.

FB
and keep trusting in the Universe. I was where you are 10 years ago and I never, NEVER would have dreamed that I would have had our Grace when I was 43 and then I went on to have our DE children, Will when I was 49 and the babies, Victoria Hope and Kathryn Mira..short for MIRACLE.

It was a long journey and I too had a sad m/c at 12 wks when I was 42...I thought that was it for us but there was a piece of me that kept believing in something that I couldn't see....I could feel it though and I had many signs along the way to keep going and to keep listening to my heart.

'Hope sees the invisible, feels the intangible and achieves the impossible'

In time you will understand and until then just keep opening your palms upward, open and accepting, all shall be well and your little people will have their sibling and you your new baby before you know it...then you can pay forward inspiring others to believe.

HUGS From Hope
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Joined: February 23rd, 2012, 7:57 am

February 27th, 2012, 6:19 am #9

Who believes this stuff? Apparently, I do these days and I have even caught myself saying the universe this and the universe that in casual conversations lately. So if this is true that the universe can be talking to us, then I guess I have not been listening. I think the universe is trying to tell me that my days of being pg and having a newborn again are over. I just don't want to listen now or ever but what if it is true and I continue to fail and hurt myself and my family over and over again????

I have 2 OE children: DD is 7 and DS is 4 today. We had our first easily after 3-6 months of trying. I was 33 when she conceived and 34 at her birth. When we got around to TTC baby #2 we started in July 2006 and I got pg 3 times and m/c'd them all at 6-8 wks. I then tried again after a 3 month break and was successful w/ our lovely DS who again turned 4 today when I was 37.

We have been TTC #3 for 3 yrs since I was 38 (almost 39) and I will be 42 in May. I had 2 final OE m/c's before moving onto DE at age 39 and 40. I recently had a twin DE pg that ended at 8 wk for one twin and 13 wk for the remaining one which was only 5 days ago. So yes, I am still mourning greatly.

I definitely have low ovarian reserve ( AFC count of 1-2 and AMH of .1 or .2) but now I may have NK cells or antiphospholipid syndrome or something else that is impeding my success besides just dumb luck.

This last pg was only 3 months long but it was a killer. I was sick everyday but I felt that I could not /should not complain since I did it to myself by making the pg happen through DE IVF and not just sitting back and hoping that prayers would solve my infertility issues.

The D & C was awesome b/c I did not have to go thru the horror of all the blood/tissue etc that I endured in the past for 4 out of 5 of my other miscarriages. I feel guilty that I feel so physically good b/c the pg was so difficult and I am glad not to be nauseous all day long but so sad that in Aug, I will not be a mother again.

I was so happy that the DE IVF worked the first time so that I could put away my struggles and just enjoy life. Now it seems that I have to open the door to all the struggling again in hopes to finish the journey. We have 2 frozen 5 day blasts left that I will transfer ( 1 at a time) starting in July as this pg really taught me that I do not want twins due to my other children's needs and my work obligations.

We are having the pathology of the babies examined and I should have some answers in a wk or so. I will also be having alot of testing on myself and I really want to lose some wt and feel good about myself again. I have always looked so much younger than my age and now, I think I am looking my age. Ugh.

I think I needed to vent to people who understand b/c no one my real life gets how much pain is in my heart.

I hope that everyone on here has success in their next cycle or very very soon as the pain and struggles of IF does not go away but it does weaken w/ success.

Thanks for reading today.

FB
I'm fairly new to all of the IVF / DE stuff really, though not to TTC (3.5 yrs for my DD OE & 2 yrs TTC so far for number 2 only to find out I need DE) and I have never felt so supported than I do on this board and I've only been here less than a week!

We are here to support you whenever you need it, but truth be told, words can only do so much. You know what's real in your own heart and we are merely reiterating what you already truly know. If we have love to give a child, then we are meant to mother and no matter the pain, anguish, loss, grief and utter destruction of our hearts, we pick up and keep trying just for that magical moment where we get to hold a baby in our arms again. Focus on that and love the children you have because on the days we find it most difficult to appreciate the children we already have because of the longing we have for another, those are the days that they will do something, anything to lift our hearts and enable us to go on another day.

I say this while I am in complete desperation for another baby, like every other woman on this forum, and in so much pain that it's near impossible to get through the day, but in some ways, supporting you is like typing the words I need to hear too, so maybe it will help you to pay it forward.

We all have our own stories and our own way of getting through the day. Today this is my way. Tomorrow may be different, but find a way that gets you through your days and trust that you will hold a baby again!

Love to you.
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Joined: August 17th, 2011, 2:17 pm

February 27th, 2012, 2:51 pm #10

Who believes this stuff? Apparently, I do these days and I have even caught myself saying the universe this and the universe that in casual conversations lately. So if this is true that the universe can be talking to us, then I guess I have not been listening. I think the universe is trying to tell me that my days of being pg and having a newborn again are over. I just don't want to listen now or ever but what if it is true and I continue to fail and hurt myself and my family over and over again????

I have 2 OE children: DD is 7 and DS is 4 today. We had our first easily after 3-6 months of trying. I was 33 when she conceived and 34 at her birth. When we got around to TTC baby #2 we started in July 2006 and I got pg 3 times and m/c'd them all at 6-8 wks. I then tried again after a 3 month break and was successful w/ our lovely DS who again turned 4 today when I was 37.

We have been TTC #3 for 3 yrs since I was 38 (almost 39) and I will be 42 in May. I had 2 final OE m/c's before moving onto DE at age 39 and 40. I recently had a twin DE pg that ended at 8 wk for one twin and 13 wk for the remaining one which was only 5 days ago. So yes, I am still mourning greatly.

I definitely have low ovarian reserve ( AFC count of 1-2 and AMH of .1 or .2) but now I may have NK cells or antiphospholipid syndrome or something else that is impeding my success besides just dumb luck.

This last pg was only 3 months long but it was a killer. I was sick everyday but I felt that I could not /should not complain since I did it to myself by making the pg happen through DE IVF and not just sitting back and hoping that prayers would solve my infertility issues.

The D & C was awesome b/c I did not have to go thru the horror of all the blood/tissue etc that I endured in the past for 4 out of 5 of my other miscarriages. I feel guilty that I feel so physically good b/c the pg was so difficult and I am glad not to be nauseous all day long but so sad that in Aug, I will not be a mother again.

I was so happy that the DE IVF worked the first time so that I could put away my struggles and just enjoy life. Now it seems that I have to open the door to all the struggling again in hopes to finish the journey. We have 2 frozen 5 day blasts left that I will transfer ( 1 at a time) starting in July as this pg really taught me that I do not want twins due to my other children's needs and my work obligations.

We are having the pathology of the babies examined and I should have some answers in a wk or so. I will also be having alot of testing on myself and I really want to lose some wt and feel good about myself again. I have always looked so much younger than my age and now, I think I am looking my age. Ugh.

I think I needed to vent to people who understand b/c no one my real life gets how much pain is in my heart.

I hope that everyone on here has success in their next cycle or very very soon as the pain and struggles of IF does not go away but it does weaken w/ success.

Thanks for reading today.

FB
Hi futurebeauty, I'm so very sorry for your recent loss. Please take good care of yourself.

First of all, I think, yes, the Universe does talk to us, but how we experience it depends on us and our beliefs and values. I think in terms of the Universe, because that's what resonates with my spiritual beliefs. Others experience it as God, or intuition, or the body's inherent wisdom, or just a sense of knowing. Or however else it manifests. The only thing that matters is what it means to YOU.

As to what these signals you are perceiving are saying and what to make of them, that's of course entirely up to you, and none of us can know what's in your heart or what's right for you. I may be in the minority here, but I have come to a place where I know that I could live a happy life even if I don't get to be a mom. I don't feel that sense of never-give-up certainty that others have expressed. When I turned 40 and was single (had just gone through a break up), I felt that the jig was up for me, regarding conceiving and bearing a child. I felt cheated and bitter and devastated. Five years (and two m/c's, 3 surgeries, oh, and a husband!) later, I have come a long way in letting go of any notion of how my life is "supposed to be." What I found underneath was a pure desire to be a mom. I don't feel I need it to be happy, but I WANT it and CHOOSE it, and it now comes from a place of optimism and joy, not a place of desperation and entitlement. (that's a commentary on my own past attitude, not anyone else's:)) I'm just starting the DE journey, no one knows what will happen. If it doesn't work out, I will grieve the terrible loss of my dream, but I know I'll be OK in the end. I just really, really hope it works out! That's my story, everyone's is different. Only you can interpret these signs you're seeing. But I just wanted to add a little voice that's it's OK if you eventually decide that what's right for you is to turn your attention and energy elsewhere in your life.

Oh, and I also want to add that you've just been through a terrible loss. You're in the middle of your grief. I wouldn't take any signs you see at this time as being the absolute truth. Give yourself some time to grieve. A line from a song I love (had it sung at my wedding): "give me the wisdom to wait 'til I know what each moment reveals."

Sorry again for your loss, and take good care of yourself!
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