Did you experience "the hills are alive with the sound of music" moment with your donor?

Did you experience "the hills are alive with the sound of music" moment with your donor?

Joined: March 25th, 2008, 8:46 pm

February 22nd, 2011, 9:10 pm #1

The vitrification cycle that I did at GIVF, I definitely had that moment with the first donor I chose. I loved her! But she turned out to not be available - I guess someone ahead of me chose her before I got my "yes" in - and I chose the next one based on practical considerations but had no sense of absolute satisfaction and happiness with the choice. The sperm donor I used based on Dr Sher's HLA-DQ alpha theory and definitely was a practical choice though certainly a fine one. The donor embryo cycle, I definitely experienced it. I thought, "oh, how lucky I would be to be your mother" and just loved the donating profiles.

What about you, especially if you have cycled more than once?
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Kacee
Kacee

February 22nd, 2011, 9:16 pm #2

nt
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wt
wt

February 22nd, 2011, 10:32 pm #3

The vitrification cycle that I did at GIVF, I definitely had that moment with the first donor I chose. I loved her! But she turned out to not be available - I guess someone ahead of me chose her before I got my "yes" in - and I chose the next one based on practical considerations but had no sense of absolute satisfaction and happiness with the choice. The sperm donor I used based on Dr Sher's HLA-DQ alpha theory and definitely was a practical choice though certainly a fine one. The donor embryo cycle, I definitely experienced it. I thought, "oh, how lucky I would be to be your mother" and just loved the donating profiles.

What about you, especially if you have cycled more than once?
I'm doing my first DE cycle in Colombia and the egg donor is completely anonymous. I don't even know her age, height, weight, nothing! The only thing I know is that the doctor says that she is my phenotype, fair skin, brown hair, brown eyes and is very healthy (has completed all the AMA physical and emotional screening). I get a little jealous when I hear about people looking through photos and hand-picking their donor but I had gotten to the point where I had completely decided to adopt. And once I got to that point, I wasn't really focussed on the genetic background, just the health of the child. I didn't end up adopting because Colombian policy says that someone my age could only adopt an older child and I didn't think that was really fair to my 4 yr old. So, at least this way, I can control the pre-natal care and I know that the mom (me) isn't drinking or taking drugs or smoking. It's also reassuring to know that they were able to use my first choice sperm donor since he's the same donor as my daughter and I've known about 8 or 9 other kids from this donor and they are all smart, beautiful, super healthy children. Anyhoo, a long answer to say "nope".
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Joined: March 25th, 2008, 8:46 pm

February 22nd, 2011, 10:48 pm #4

blew me away. Given the type of guy I am attracted to on an intellectual/emotional level, I could not have asked for more fitting. Egg donor was a physician - I started out premed and in retrospect wish I'd stuck to it - and ironically HER personality read as somewhat ENTJ'ish, which is the type of guy I tend to be attracted to. He was a scientist with advanced degrees and a math/computer programming bent (this again is something I find attractive), his personality read as rather ENXP'ish (I am ENFP), and his sense of humor and expression sounded SO much like he was a member of my family. So I didn't really need pics for the proverbial hills to sing.

I know the end result is what matters but even so, am glad to feel the connection especially sicne odds are I will never know either one.
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Joined: August 12th, 2004, 4:42 pm

February 23rd, 2011, 12:03 am #5

The vitrification cycle that I did at GIVF, I definitely had that moment with the first donor I chose. I loved her! But she turned out to not be available - I guess someone ahead of me chose her before I got my "yes" in - and I chose the next one based on practical considerations but had no sense of absolute satisfaction and happiness with the choice. The sperm donor I used based on Dr Sher's HLA-DQ alpha theory and definitely was a practical choice though certainly a fine one. The donor embryo cycle, I definitely experienced it. I thought, "oh, how lucky I would be to be your mother" and just loved the donating profiles.

What about you, especially if you have cycled more than once?
...sperm as well as egg (and there were several of each), I experienced that euphoric moment where I thought "Yes!"-- I've found the person who I could imagine being the genetic donor for my child!

Maya

Last edited by Maya3 on February 23rd, 2011, 12:03 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Leigh888
Leigh888

February 23rd, 2011, 12:09 am #6

The vitrification cycle that I did at GIVF, I definitely had that moment with the first donor I chose. I loved her! But she turned out to not be available - I guess someone ahead of me chose her before I got my "yes" in - and I chose the next one based on practical considerations but had no sense of absolute satisfaction and happiness with the choice. The sperm donor I used based on Dr Sher's HLA-DQ alpha theory and definitely was a practical choice though certainly a fine one. The donor embryo cycle, I definitely experienced it. I thought, "oh, how lucky I would be to be your mother" and just loved the donating profiles.

What about you, especially if you have cycled more than once?
Not with either donor. We are at SG and using their in house donor pool so there aren't a ton of options. Both times we picked the one who was the best fit, but there was no "hills are alive" moment.
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Joined: November 20th, 2006, 6:03 pm

February 23rd, 2011, 1:36 am #7

The vitrification cycle that I did at GIVF, I definitely had that moment with the first donor I chose. I loved her! But she turned out to not be available - I guess someone ahead of me chose her before I got my "yes" in - and I chose the next one based on practical considerations but had no sense of absolute satisfaction and happiness with the choice. The sperm donor I used based on Dr Sher's HLA-DQ alpha theory and definitely was a practical choice though certainly a fine one. The donor embryo cycle, I definitely experienced it. I thought, "oh, how lucky I would be to be your mother" and just loved the donating profiles.

What about you, especially if you have cycled more than once?
about all four of our donors, and would never have chosen one I didn't like very much. Our donors when assembled as a group had nothing in common with each other, but each had attributes I'd be happy to see in my children. One looked very much like my family (as far as I could tell from her toddler pics). One seemed very bright and had three beautiful children, though could not possibly look any different from me and be the same race . One seemed very creative and had my coloring... and was tall, a bonus as I'm a shortie and hate it LOL, though differed from me completely in her politics/views on life. One was a mom who wrote with such eloquence about what her own daughter meant to her, and she had an enchanting smile in her childhood photos. So those were our four egg donors. Our sperm donor had nearly all of the same interests as my DH, who wanted nothing to do with the selection process. So I just "matched" him as closely as possible by childhood photo and interests.

I chose mainly on the basis of past donations, family health history, and frankly, availability (wasn't going to wait long for any egg donor as I truly believe genetic expression is just a crapshoot anyway). But I found something in each of our donors that I really loved - and of course the gratitude I felt at what they were trying to help us do, made me love each of them even more. Every time I look at my children, or think about the one on the way, NOW I have a "the hills are alive" moment, for sure .

Great questions, BT. Best,
Kenny
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Joined: March 25th, 2008, 8:46 pm

February 23rd, 2011, 2:45 am #8

from her writing and egg coordinator description, it was clear she was a lovely, intelligent person and I would be fortunate to use her gametes. lol though don't ask why none of the other lovely, intelligent women with beautiful smiles and eyes gave me the same reaction. (And people think we are all looking for Ivy league model material....bah).
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Joined: December 2nd, 2005, 3:49 pm

February 23rd, 2011, 3:39 am #9

The vitrification cycle that I did at GIVF, I definitely had that moment with the first donor I chose. I loved her! But she turned out to not be available - I guess someone ahead of me chose her before I got my "yes" in - and I chose the next one based on practical considerations but had no sense of absolute satisfaction and happiness with the choice. The sperm donor I used based on Dr Sher's HLA-DQ alpha theory and definitely was a practical choice though certainly a fine one. The donor embryo cycle, I definitely experienced it. I thought, "oh, how lucky I would be to be your mother" and just loved the donating profiles.

What about you, especially if you have cycled more than once?
I'm very glad we chose her because our boys are perfect in every way, but I didn't hear music when I found her.
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Joined: July 19th, 2006, 6:58 pm

February 23rd, 2011, 11:52 am #10

The vitrification cycle that I did at GIVF, I definitely had that moment with the first donor I chose. I loved her! But she turned out to not be available - I guess someone ahead of me chose her before I got my "yes" in - and I chose the next one based on practical considerations but had no sense of absolute satisfaction and happiness with the choice. The sperm donor I used based on Dr Sher's HLA-DQ alpha theory and definitely was a practical choice though certainly a fine one. The donor embryo cycle, I definitely experienced it. I thought, "oh, how lucky I would be to be your mother" and just loved the donating profiles.

What about you, especially if you have cycled more than once?
BT-I had to laugh when I saw the title.  I love The Sound of Music.    There was something about my donor that made me feel more comfortable with her than with the others I looked at but there was no "she is perfect" moment.  I was still really grieving the loss of my genetics when I chose so even if it had been my sister at that point, I don't think I would have had a moment like that with any donor. 

Pandora
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