clinics with open identity donors

clinics with open identity donors

Joined: March 1st, 2011, 4:44 pm

July 7th, 2011, 5:17 pm #1

Hi,

I was wondering if anyone knows how to find clinics that use donors with open identity after age 18? I'd like my child to have the option to know its genetic mother if he or she feel they need to, but I'm not sure which clinics offer this. I'm in the NYC area but willing to travel.

Thanks!

Sara


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Anonymous
Anonymous

July 7th, 2011, 6:01 pm #2

Genetic Mother...doesn't sound right...or it's just me?nt
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Joined: September 26th, 2008, 9:06 pm

July 7th, 2011, 6:24 pm #3

As long as no one tries to claim the donor is the 'biological mother' I can handle it, but I really don't think of the donor as a mother in any way, personally.

Sorry to the original poster. I have no advice. We cycled in the Czech Republic, where all donations, by law, have to be anonymous. Good luck to you.
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Joined: September 13th, 2008, 5:13 pm

July 7th, 2011, 6:30 pm #4

Genetic Mother...doesn't sound right...or it's just me?nt
To describe egg donors whose ova become fertilized and grow into babies in other women's wombs. Now, some ladies don't like to apply the term "mother" in any form to egg donors, but that feels like an act of denial to me (no offense intended to anyone, BTW).

As for the original question, like thesameboat, I cycled in the Czech Republic, and donation there is completely anonymous by law, so I likewise have no information. If my circumstances had been different, I would have preferred an open identity donation.

Take care,

Maggie (in VA)

Edited to add: Yeah, I try to be patient, but having someone refer to the egg donor as the "biological mother" really does irritate me. I did not endure m/s, heartburn, constipation, edema, pruritus, carpal tunnel syndrome, peripheral neuropathy, and have a 4" scar across my groin b/c I am not the biological mother of my children. M.
Last edited by maggie1961 on July 7th, 2011, 8:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Piper
Piper

July 7th, 2011, 6:40 pm #5

Genetic Mother...doesn't sound right...or it's just me?nt
In the case of most gamete donors, there is no intent to parent. I tend to think the of the term "mother" along with some intent- an intent to parent or in the case of adoption with a birth mother, the intent to not parent (which is an amazing and selfless decision some women do make)

A gamete donor provides an invaluable gift--I tend to prefer genetic donor.

But that has gotten way off the topic at hand, and yes, you can arrange various forms of contact with donors through an ART attorney. Generally, this is not done through clinics-
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Anonymous
Anonymous

July 7th, 2011, 6:51 pm #6

Hi,

I was wondering if anyone knows how to find clinics that use donors with open identity after age 18? I'd like my child to have the option to know its genetic mother if he or she feel they need to, but I'm not sure which clinics offer this. I'm in the NYC area but willing to travel.

Thanks!

Sara

Some sperm banks will offer open-to-contact donors once the child is 18 (but not many donors go for this option frankly and it limits the choices drastically). I have not seen this "option" for egg donors from clinics, only from private arrangements or agency donors where it was part of the negotiation.
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Joined: March 25th, 2008, 8:46 pm

July 7th, 2011, 7:36 pm #7

In the case of most gamete donors, there is no intent to parent. I tend to think the of the term "mother" along with some intent- an intent to parent or in the case of adoption with a birth mother, the intent to not parent (which is an amazing and selfless decision some women do make)

A gamete donor provides an invaluable gift--I tend to prefer genetic donor.

But that has gotten way off the topic at hand, and yes, you can arrange various forms of contact with donors through an ART attorney. Generally, this is not done through clinics-
the donating family mother as just that. She may not have made a genetic contribution, but she and the donating family father are the family for whom my children came into being.
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Joined: November 19th, 2006, 8:22 pm

July 7th, 2011, 7:39 pm #8

Hi,

I was wondering if anyone knows how to find clinics that use donors with open identity after age 18? I'd like my child to have the option to know its genetic mother if he or she feel they need to, but I'm not sure which clinics offer this. I'm in the NYC area but willing to travel.

Thanks!

Sara

I used an anon clinic donor and we got a one page summary of her - interests, height, coloring etc. We also requested baby photos - got 2 blurry ones. I wish that I had found a donor that would be open to contact as I think my kids would like to have this option. My suggestion - email clinic co-ordinators and ask if they have anyone open to this arrangement. Good luck.
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Joined: January 19th, 2007, 7:18 pm

July 8th, 2011, 2:11 am #9

Hi,

I was wondering if anyone knows how to find clinics that use donors with open identity after age 18? I'd like my child to have the option to know its genetic mother if he or she feel they need to, but I'm not sure which clinics offer this. I'm in the NYC area but willing to travel.

Thanks!

Sara

I can't answer you about clinics b/c the clinic we used with a donor pool was strictly anonymous. That cycle failed & we moved on to another clinic that didn't have in-house donors. I ran across numerous donor profiles with various agencies where the donor was open to some contact with the IPs.

We ended up doing 2 cycles with the same donor & we have a son from each cycle. After my 1st son was born, I requested that the agency contact our donor & find out if she was willing to exchange personal information in case we had medical questions in the future or if our child had any questions. She was & after I became pg. with our 2nd child, the agency facilitated the exchange of names, birth dates, & email addresses.

So, while I can't answer your question regarding clinics, there are some agencies & some donors open to this arrangement. You may need to consider using an agency donor if you feel this is really important to you. Interestingly, my feelings changed after I had my son. You can't always predict what will become important. It was only after he was born that I felt like I wanted to be able to provide him with some info. should he be curious (beyond the profile, which is fairly generous & includes photos). It does seem like most cycles are anonymous, but you can definitely find donors willing to exchange info. should you or your future child have questions, if it's important to you.

If you are interested in this, I would strongly suggest making sure you feel comfortable with the agency. Unfortunately, plenty of them just want to take your money & not be bothered with anything else. You want to have some assurance you can count on them to cooperate with this facilitation of info., unless you do it up front & are sure you won't need their help later.

I hope this was somewhat helpful. Sorry for going on so long, but I think most women here have completely anonymous donation agreements in terms of ID'ing info. so I thought I would post in some detail since we do have our donor's ID'ing info. although we haven't contacted her & don't intend to unless something urgent arises medically or our sons feel strongly about asking her questions.
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Joined: September 6th, 2007, 1:40 am

July 8th, 2011, 3:03 am #10

Genetic Mother...doesn't sound right...or it's just me?nt
And it is not giving a germ cell.

The major part of being a mother does involve carrying a child.

But the definition of 'mother' is being stretched by this technology we use--so that is why it is hard to say what term is really appropriate.
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