DH is concerned about using my sister as a donor now, so he asked me if I would approach someone else. I haven't had to do that as yet, so I was so nervous about contacting her. I thought it best that I email her so that she doesn't feel uncomfortable. She responded and said that she would give it serious thought. Both emails were very warm, so I don't feel like I have overstepped the mark, but I'm still worried that I may have made her uncomfortable.
I'm wondering if anyone else has approached family members with success or utter failure and how you have dealt with either eventuality. Any advice is welcome.
TTC for 3.5 yrs from age 27
4 rounds on clomifene
About to start IVF when...
DD OE 3.5yrs old now
TTC 2.5 yrs for #2
2 rounds of clomifene
Dx with DOR Jan 2012
Using DE from sister possibly
For me, it was the most nerve-wracking question I've ever had to ask. Seriously - I was terrified to talk to her about it! Since I'm an only child and the youngest female of my 21 first cousins, I didn't have anyone in my immediate family to ask, so this cousin is the daughter of my first cousin (I don't remember if that makes her my second cousin or first cousin once removed, but whatever!). She and I have always been close, so it wasn't as if I'd never had a serious conversation with her, but this seemed SO BIG.
The funniest thing about it is that she already knew our story and had already thought about donating for us... she just didn't want to ask because she was afraid of over-stepping. So when I finally got the guts to ask her (in person), she immediately said yes, gave me a giant hug, and seemed so excited about it that I barely knew what to say.
She and her husband have been AMAZING throughout this whole process. We knew going in that it would be a one-time thing, though, and we had to come to terms with that. Before we knew anything at all about her FSH and AMH levels, AFC, etc.., we knew we'd only have one shot. We are lucky and got 7 good-quality blasts (2 transferred, 5 frozen), but it could've ended up very differently, of course.
If having a genetic connection to your child is important, using a family member can be a wonderful thing. It's not always easy, and you'll have A LOT to discuss if she says yes, but I have absolutely no regrets..
Please keep us updated!