so frustrated for ds (rant!)

so frustrated for ds (rant!)

Joined: June 7th, 2006, 2:08 pm

October 27th, 2011, 9:26 pm #1

He tells me that he's probably going to get another math detention tomorrow. It will cause him to miss art club, because that's when the detention will be. He's not allowed to be late to art club, either, so finishing detention early won't help.

The detention will be the consequence of not finishing a 40-question math benchmark today. He says he only got through 4 questions.

This is a mean teacher. I've worked with her on a previous project for one of my graduate courses. She does not explain clearly. Her mind seems to flit around. I observed him in her class during a pre-test last week, and he was so frustrated and inhibited that he didn't raise his hand for help, even though the other kids did.

She has already given him 2 math detentions. One of them might have violated an IEP. At least I think he has an IEP. I'm not sure, b/c I gave them the documentation 2 years ago for fine and gross motor delays. She had the kids cutting tiny pieces of paper in class one day, and he couldn't finish in time, so he had to miss recess.

The other math detention occurred when he forgot his homework one day. He forgot it b/c dh was out of town and dm came to babysit him while I taught that night. She talks NONSTOP. She doesn't actually try to help us. She just talks. all. the. time. I was getting ready for a presentation. In fact, the morning of the presentation (a 1-hour drive away), I suddenly realized that the dog hadn't been fed. Did she offer to feed? No. Just started talking about her dog. Then I tried to give her a house key so she could lock up when she was ready to head home. She insisted she was almost ready. Five minutes later, I was still waiting, so I gave her a key and hoped I would find it later.

Half-way to the conference, I realized -- I hadn't eaten breakfast. I hadn't even put on deodorant.

And poor ds didn't have his math homework, so he got a detention and missed art club.

I have emailed the math teacher to ask for mercy, but she has never given me a reason to expect that I would get any from her.
Quote
Like
Share

Joined: June 20th, 2006, 2:07 am

October 27th, 2011, 11:18 pm #2

she is punishing him as if he's choosing not to finish the work. Why would someone punish someone for not understanding the work??

She sounds like a poor teacher in my opinion.

Is there any way he can be excused from taking her class and you supply outside math education? I doubt a school would go for that but man, that woman raised the mama bear in me.

grrrr

Quote
Like
Share

Joined: January 1st, 1970, 12:00 am

October 27th, 2011, 11:50 pm #3

Thank you for that really good point, JM! He has always enjoyed math until this year. He is willing. He thought he was doing better, but today, it came crashing down again.

He is in advanced math. We can't switch to the other advanced math class, but we can move him to a grade-level course. It has been offered as an option, and another child did it a couple of weeks ago.

Unfortunately, I will likely still have a fight to get him into Mrs. H.'s class. She is his homebase teacher.

Mrs. L. has the smallest class, so that's where the principal wants to put ds, but Mrs. H. insists that it's completely inappropriate. Mrs. L. is very nice and teaches his ELA class, but for math, she has the most remedial kids, who are struggling with 2nd grade math at ages 9 and 10. Mrs. H. says she won't let it happen, but now that ds says he's willing to change, 1) I need her to go to bat for ds and 2) it's not going to happen tomorrow, so there is still the looming detention.




Keiki's Makuahine (Keiki's Mom) 50, dh 50
Keiki: b. 2002 after 3 months bedrest
Natural conception following ZIFT/chem. pg

Olivia: b. 1999 d. 1999
28-week preemie, ptl cause unknown
Natural conception after 1 mc

ttc since 1998
Quote
Like
Share

Joined: February 20th, 2006, 11:35 pm

October 28th, 2011, 1:45 am #4

He tells me that he's probably going to get another math detention tomorrow. It will cause him to miss art club, because that's when the detention will be. He's not allowed to be late to art club, either, so finishing detention early won't help.

The detention will be the consequence of not finishing a 40-question math benchmark today. He says he only got through 4 questions.

This is a mean teacher. I've worked with her on a previous project for one of my graduate courses. She does not explain clearly. Her mind seems to flit around. I observed him in her class during a pre-test last week, and he was so frustrated and inhibited that he didn't raise his hand for help, even though the other kids did.

She has already given him 2 math detentions. One of them might have violated an IEP. At least I think he has an IEP. I'm not sure, b/c I gave them the documentation 2 years ago for fine and gross motor delays. She had the kids cutting tiny pieces of paper in class one day, and he couldn't finish in time, so he had to miss recess.

The other math detention occurred when he forgot his homework one day. He forgot it b/c dh was out of town and dm came to babysit him while I taught that night. She talks NONSTOP. She doesn't actually try to help us. She just talks. all. the. time. I was getting ready for a presentation. In fact, the morning of the presentation (a 1-hour drive away), I suddenly realized that the dog hadn't been fed. Did she offer to feed? No. Just started talking about her dog. Then I tried to give her a house key so she could lock up when she was ready to head home. She insisted she was almost ready. Five minutes later, I was still waiting, so I gave her a key and hoped I would find it later.

Half-way to the conference, I realized -- I hadn't eaten breakfast. I hadn't even put on deodorant.

And poor ds didn't have his math homework, so he got a detention and missed art club.

I have emailed the math teacher to ask for mercy, but she has never given me a reason to expect that I would get any from her.
Detention for not meeting math benchmarks???? What kind of school is this? I've never heard of detention except for behavioral infractions, you know like spitting or hitting. But then again, I never heard of detention until kids got into high school. What do they make them do during detention at his school?

I'd have a chat with the principal pronto. This is really ridiculous. I'm glad you're working on trying to change teachers.e

Your poor DS! I hope he gets a new teacher soon.

xoxo
Lillian
Quote
Like
Share

Joined: February 10th, 2009, 9:24 pm

October 28th, 2011, 3:23 am #5

He tells me that he's probably going to get another math detention tomorrow. It will cause him to miss art club, because that's when the detention will be. He's not allowed to be late to art club, either, so finishing detention early won't help.

The detention will be the consequence of not finishing a 40-question math benchmark today. He says he only got through 4 questions.

This is a mean teacher. I've worked with her on a previous project for one of my graduate courses. She does not explain clearly. Her mind seems to flit around. I observed him in her class during a pre-test last week, and he was so frustrated and inhibited that he didn't raise his hand for help, even though the other kids did.

She has already given him 2 math detentions. One of them might have violated an IEP. At least I think he has an IEP. I'm not sure, b/c I gave them the documentation 2 years ago for fine and gross motor delays. She had the kids cutting tiny pieces of paper in class one day, and he couldn't finish in time, so he had to miss recess.

The other math detention occurred when he forgot his homework one day. He forgot it b/c dh was out of town and dm came to babysit him while I taught that night. She talks NONSTOP. She doesn't actually try to help us. She just talks. all. the. time. I was getting ready for a presentation. In fact, the morning of the presentation (a 1-hour drive away), I suddenly realized that the dog hadn't been fed. Did she offer to feed? No. Just started talking about her dog. Then I tried to give her a house key so she could lock up when she was ready to head home. She insisted she was almost ready. Five minutes later, I was still waiting, so I gave her a key and hoped I would find it later.

Half-way to the conference, I realized -- I hadn't eaten breakfast. I hadn't even put on deodorant.

And poor ds didn't have his math homework, so he got a detention and missed art club.

I have emailed the math teacher to ask for mercy, but she has never given me a reason to expect that I would get any from her.
I hope you can get him out of her class! She sounds awful, and terribly demotivating to boot.

Pink
Quote
Like
Share

Joined: April 16th, 2004, 9:20 pm

October 28th, 2011, 3:37 am #6

He tells me that he's probably going to get another math detention tomorrow. It will cause him to miss art club, because that's when the detention will be. He's not allowed to be late to art club, either, so finishing detention early won't help.

The detention will be the consequence of not finishing a 40-question math benchmark today. He says he only got through 4 questions.

This is a mean teacher. I've worked with her on a previous project for one of my graduate courses. She does not explain clearly. Her mind seems to flit around. I observed him in her class during a pre-test last week, and he was so frustrated and inhibited that he didn't raise his hand for help, even though the other kids did.

She has already given him 2 math detentions. One of them might have violated an IEP. At least I think he has an IEP. I'm not sure, b/c I gave them the documentation 2 years ago for fine and gross motor delays. She had the kids cutting tiny pieces of paper in class one day, and he couldn't finish in time, so he had to miss recess.

The other math detention occurred when he forgot his homework one day. He forgot it b/c dh was out of town and dm came to babysit him while I taught that night. She talks NONSTOP. She doesn't actually try to help us. She just talks. all. the. time. I was getting ready for a presentation. In fact, the morning of the presentation (a 1-hour drive away), I suddenly realized that the dog hadn't been fed. Did she offer to feed? No. Just started talking about her dog. Then I tried to give her a house key so she could lock up when she was ready to head home. She insisted she was almost ready. Five minutes later, I was still waiting, so I gave her a key and hoped I would find it later.

Half-way to the conference, I realized -- I hadn't eaten breakfast. I hadn't even put on deodorant.

And poor ds didn't have his math homework, so he got a detention and missed art club.

I have emailed the math teacher to ask for mercy, but she has never given me a reason to expect that I would get any from her.
This is just very sad - I'm very surprised that there are mean teachers for such young kids, I mean there shouldn't be any mean teachers period, but elementary school??? I would also go talk to the principal. I'm not sure I understood what switching to grade level would mean. I think if he struggles, I would switch, but if he'll have to be in class with kids who are behind then that's a problem too.

What a horrible approach to give detention for not being able to finish work, unless of course he was disrespectful or something and monkeying around, but it doesn't sound like it...

Quote
Like
Share

Joined: October 15th, 2004, 5:32 am

October 28th, 2011, 5:15 am #7

He tells me that he's probably going to get another math detention tomorrow. It will cause him to miss art club, because that's when the detention will be. He's not allowed to be late to art club, either, so finishing detention early won't help.

The detention will be the consequence of not finishing a 40-question math benchmark today. He says he only got through 4 questions.

This is a mean teacher. I've worked with her on a previous project for one of my graduate courses. She does not explain clearly. Her mind seems to flit around. I observed him in her class during a pre-test last week, and he was so frustrated and inhibited that he didn't raise his hand for help, even though the other kids did.

She has already given him 2 math detentions. One of them might have violated an IEP. At least I think he has an IEP. I'm not sure, b/c I gave them the documentation 2 years ago for fine and gross motor delays. She had the kids cutting tiny pieces of paper in class one day, and he couldn't finish in time, so he had to miss recess.

The other math detention occurred when he forgot his homework one day. He forgot it b/c dh was out of town and dm came to babysit him while I taught that night. She talks NONSTOP. She doesn't actually try to help us. She just talks. all. the. time. I was getting ready for a presentation. In fact, the morning of the presentation (a 1-hour drive away), I suddenly realized that the dog hadn't been fed. Did she offer to feed? No. Just started talking about her dog. Then I tried to give her a house key so she could lock up when she was ready to head home. She insisted she was almost ready. Five minutes later, I was still waiting, so I gave her a key and hoped I would find it later.

Half-way to the conference, I realized -- I hadn't eaten breakfast. I hadn't even put on deodorant.

And poor ds didn't have his math homework, so he got a detention and missed art club.

I have emailed the math teacher to ask for mercy, but she has never given me a reason to expect that I would get any from her.
Can you transfer out of the class now and cut your losses? We transferred in kinder as you might imagine and while at first it was so hard, DS adjusted and we never looked back on that one. This teacher sounds like she needs way too much enlightenment about things she should really know better about. Have you talked to the principal about it?

serasera
Quote
Like
Share

Joined: August 28th, 2007, 1:04 pm

October 28th, 2011, 11:33 am #8

He tells me that he's probably going to get another math detention tomorrow. It will cause him to miss art club, because that's when the detention will be. He's not allowed to be late to art club, either, so finishing detention early won't help.

The detention will be the consequence of not finishing a 40-question math benchmark today. He says he only got through 4 questions.

This is a mean teacher. I've worked with her on a previous project for one of my graduate courses. She does not explain clearly. Her mind seems to flit around. I observed him in her class during a pre-test last week, and he was so frustrated and inhibited that he didn't raise his hand for help, even though the other kids did.

She has already given him 2 math detentions. One of them might have violated an IEP. At least I think he has an IEP. I'm not sure, b/c I gave them the documentation 2 years ago for fine and gross motor delays. She had the kids cutting tiny pieces of paper in class one day, and he couldn't finish in time, so he had to miss recess.

The other math detention occurred when he forgot his homework one day. He forgot it b/c dh was out of town and dm came to babysit him while I taught that night. She talks NONSTOP. She doesn't actually try to help us. She just talks. all. the. time. I was getting ready for a presentation. In fact, the morning of the presentation (a 1-hour drive away), I suddenly realized that the dog hadn't been fed. Did she offer to feed? No. Just started talking about her dog. Then I tried to give her a house key so she could lock up when she was ready to head home. She insisted she was almost ready. Five minutes later, I was still waiting, so I gave her a key and hoped I would find it later.

Half-way to the conference, I realized -- I hadn't eaten breakfast. I hadn't even put on deodorant.

And poor ds didn't have his math homework, so he got a detention and missed art club.

I have emailed the math teacher to ask for mercy, but she has never given me a reason to expect that I would get any from her.
and she violated it, she could be in BIG trouble, as could the school. If he has an IEP it would need to be updated every year via a meeting with you and all his team members (physical therapist, occupational therapist, speech, psychologist, etc.). At least, that's how it's worked for my DS for the past five years. My guess is that there isn't anything official in place or else you'd remember this process--it's pretty arduous.

But, check, just in case. And if there isn't one, I would push for one if you have documentation of DS's special needs from a doctor.

Regardless, this woman does sound heartless. Hugs to DS and you!

Meg
Quote
Like
Share

Joined: January 1st, 1970, 12:00 am

October 28th, 2011, 11:47 am #9

Can you transfer out of the class now and cut your losses? We transferred in kinder as you might imagine and while at first it was so hard, DS adjusted and we never looked back on that one. This teacher sounds like she needs way too much enlightenment about things she should really know better about. Have you talked to the principal about it?

serasera
I hope Mr. Big is having a good year.

We have spoken to the principal. Our former principal hand-picked and groomed her, but she's turning out to be a disappointment because she plays pretty much by the book. She told us that ds would go into Mrs. L's class, which I learned is remedial. Mrs. H. says she won't let it happen, but I don't know how much pull she has.

I had hoped that ds would decide sooner. He wanted to stay in the advanced class b/c his bf is there, but yesterday when confronted with the likelihood of missing art club again for math, he decided that he'd rather have a nicer teacher. Unfortunately, it will probably take a few days to make this happen, so I don't think I can salvage art club for him. That teacher has a pretty strict rule, too. If you miss too many times, you're out.




Keiki's Makuahine (Keiki's Mom) 50, dh 50
Keiki: b. 2002 after 3 months bedrest
Natural conception following ZIFT/chem. pg

Olivia: b. 1999 d. 1999
28-week preemie, ptl cause unknown
Natural conception after 1 mc

ttc since 1998
Quote
Like
Share

Joined: January 1st, 1970, 12:00 am

October 28th, 2011, 11:49 am #10

This is just very sad - I'm very surprised that there are mean teachers for such young kids, I mean there shouldn't be any mean teachers period, but elementary school??? I would also go talk to the principal. I'm not sure I understood what switching to grade level would mean. I think if he struggles, I would switch, but if he'll have to be in class with kids who are behind then that's a problem too.

What a horrible approach to give detention for not being able to finish work, unless of course he was disrespectful or something and monkeying around, but it doesn't sound like it...

We've talked to the principal. She likes the teacher. Her ds had this teacher a few years ago.

Very frustrated that this principal, hand-picked and groomed by our beloved former principal, is turning out to be a bureaucrat instead of a leader.




Keiki's Makuahine (Keiki's Mom) 50, dh 50
Keiki: b. 2002 after 3 months bedrest
Natural conception following ZIFT/chem. pg

Olivia: b. 1999 d. 1999
28-week preemie, ptl cause unknown
Natural conception after 1 mc

ttc since 1998
Quote
Like
Share