Lost Coat ... Talk me down ladies with older kids

Lost Coat ... Talk me down ladies with older kids

Joined: February 16th, 2006, 1:10 am

May 8th, 2012, 8:24 pm #1

DSs school coat for spring was in the wash and I put on his "good" coat yesterday. A little voice say "don't do it" and the other part of me said "he can be responsible". Before he left we had a bunch of punch points about caring for the coat--- keep an eye on it, it's important, leave it in your bookbag, etc., etc. DH reinforced the goal on the way to school.

This is the coat:
http://www.ralphlauren.com/product/inde ... age=family

I have matching ones for his brothers. This coat was purchased on sale last year to be worn for two years. We do this every year figuring 3 boys will wear it.

Well, yesterday he came out without it, but since he said it was in his cubby and the classroom is alway locked I didn't fret.

Today, DS came out of school with no coat and said "oh, it's gone Mom, we don't have it anymore" arrrgggghhhhhhhh!!!! So, I had to park the car (in the city), unbuckle other two sons and march into the school, deal with the teacher and crazy 3yo tantrum son, go to lost and found (and hello, why put lost and found out in the open like a freebie pile????), blah, blah, blah----- of course no coat.

I am soooooooooooooo upset with DS because he never pays attention to his belongings and imho, has no respect for things. AND I am so mad at myself because I tested him the coat. He is only 7 and I'm getting so upset over something really small in the grand scheme, but arrrrrgghhhhh again!!!

I'm sure there will be many more lost things. How do you deal?




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cy2
Joined: February 16th, 2006, 6:45 pm

May 8th, 2012, 9:32 pm #2

No real advice on that. I just try to stay calm when things like that happen.

I once lost a 1.5 carat diamond solitaire ring with rubies on the sides in Tahoe. It was so cold that it slipped right off my finger and I didn't notice. I decided then and there that losing the ring would be the worst incident in my life. Easy to say in my 20's. In retrospect, I wish that was the worst thing that happened.

As my Dad sagely says, "It's only money." That's what he said when I had to tell him I lost the ring. He and my Mom gave it to me and ironically I was going to have it re-sized when I was in Denver on my way from Hawaii via Tahoe. I guess it's someone else's heirloom now.

I try to imagine that the universe meant for the ring to be lost because maybe someone was watching me and would have hit me over the head to steal it. . . (The things we do to console ourselves when we suffer a loss!)

Hang in there. The bad feelings will pass. Your DS probably feels awful. Hopefully he'll be more responsible in the future because of this.
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Joined: May 14th, 2004, 5:42 pm

May 8th, 2012, 10:42 pm #3

DSs school coat for spring was in the wash and I put on his "good" coat yesterday. A little voice say "don't do it" and the other part of me said "he can be responsible". Before he left we had a bunch of punch points about caring for the coat--- keep an eye on it, it's important, leave it in your bookbag, etc., etc. DH reinforced the goal on the way to school.

This is the coat:
http://www.ralphlauren.com/product/inde ... age=family

I have matching ones for his brothers. This coat was purchased on sale last year to be worn for two years. We do this every year figuring 3 boys will wear it.

Well, yesterday he came out without it, but since he said it was in his cubby and the classroom is alway locked I didn't fret.

Today, DS came out of school with no coat and said "oh, it's gone Mom, we don't have it anymore" arrrgggghhhhhhhh!!!! So, I had to park the car (in the city), unbuckle other two sons and march into the school, deal with the teacher and crazy 3yo tantrum son, go to lost and found (and hello, why put lost and found out in the open like a freebie pile????), blah, blah, blah----- of course no coat.

I am soooooooooooooo upset with DS because he never pays attention to his belongings and imho, has no respect for things. AND I am so mad at myself because I tested him the coat. He is only 7 and I'm getting so upset over something really small in the grand scheme, but arrrrrgghhhhh again!!!

I'm sure there will be many more lost things. How do you deal?



if he left it in his classroom, can you send an email to the class saying "if your child accidentally came home with the brown Ralph Lauren coat, could you send it back with him/her tomorrow?". I think that is reasonable and maybe you'll get it back.

On this topic, our school of about 475 students has a lost and found rack which collects jackets like you would not believe. Last week, I offered to help gather, wash and donate the items to charity (after several warnings to families, laying ALL the jackets out on the auditorium floor and having the kids walk up and down each row) and we filled up 7 large trash bags full of jackets!! SEVEN!

It is totally ridiculous to me that so many kids lose their jackets and don't know or care enough to go back and find it. Some of this stuff was nice, too. If I spent $40 on a jacket you'd better believe I'd notice if my child came home without it. Maybe not the first day, but certainly after a couple days!

Make sure to label your stuff so if it happens again, you might get lucky and get it back.

Ann


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Joined: September 4th, 2004, 1:08 am

May 8th, 2012, 11:16 pm #4

DSs school coat for spring was in the wash and I put on his "good" coat yesterday. A little voice say "don't do it" and the other part of me said "he can be responsible". Before he left we had a bunch of punch points about caring for the coat--- keep an eye on it, it's important, leave it in your bookbag, etc., etc. DH reinforced the goal on the way to school.

This is the coat:
http://www.ralphlauren.com/product/inde ... age=family

I have matching ones for his brothers. This coat was purchased on sale last year to be worn for two years. We do this every year figuring 3 boys will wear it.

Well, yesterday he came out without it, but since he said it was in his cubby and the classroom is alway locked I didn't fret.

Today, DS came out of school with no coat and said "oh, it's gone Mom, we don't have it anymore" arrrgggghhhhhhhh!!!! So, I had to park the car (in the city), unbuckle other two sons and march into the school, deal with the teacher and crazy 3yo tantrum son, go to lost and found (and hello, why put lost and found out in the open like a freebie pile????), blah, blah, blah----- of course no coat.

I am soooooooooooooo upset with DS because he never pays attention to his belongings and imho, has no respect for things. AND I am so mad at myself because I tested him the coat. He is only 7 and I'm getting so upset over something really small in the grand scheme, but arrrrrgghhhhh again!!!

I'm sure there will be many more lost things. How do you deal?



kids don't have respect for anything, leave everything everywhere, it is so annoying. But if he truly left it in his cubby, then it was stolen and that isn't his fault. Can you have the teacher send out an email to the class describing the coat and that it is missing, you never know, maybe someone brought it home accidentally. Does it have your child's name in it?
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Joined: July 7th, 2009, 1:19 pm

May 9th, 2012, 12:53 am #5

DSs school coat for spring was in the wash and I put on his "good" coat yesterday. A little voice say "don't do it" and the other part of me said "he can be responsible". Before he left we had a bunch of punch points about caring for the coat--- keep an eye on it, it's important, leave it in your bookbag, etc., etc. DH reinforced the goal on the way to school.

This is the coat:
http://www.ralphlauren.com/product/inde ... age=family

I have matching ones for his brothers. This coat was purchased on sale last year to be worn for two years. We do this every year figuring 3 boys will wear it.

Well, yesterday he came out without it, but since he said it was in his cubby and the classroom is alway locked I didn't fret.

Today, DS came out of school with no coat and said "oh, it's gone Mom, we don't have it anymore" arrrgggghhhhhhhh!!!! So, I had to park the car (in the city), unbuckle other two sons and march into the school, deal with the teacher and crazy 3yo tantrum son, go to lost and found (and hello, why put lost and found out in the open like a freebie pile????), blah, blah, blah----- of course no coat.

I am soooooooooooooo upset with DS because he never pays attention to his belongings and imho, has no respect for things. AND I am so mad at myself because I tested him the coat. He is only 7 and I'm getting so upset over something really small in the grand scheme, but arrrrrgghhhhh again!!!

I'm sure there will be many more lost things. How do you deal?



I guess you already said that you were mad at yourself for letting him take it, and upset that it's gone (lost, or MIA).

Is there a lost and found? Do you know if he took it on the playground or wore it anywhere else?
Is hope his name in it? If yes, then call or go to the school, teacher or whoever and investigate. Maybe it was taken and DS didn't lose it? How old is DS? Is he old enough to be that concerned about a coat? I know you want him to be responsible.... just wondering if he's forgetful or maybe it was taken??

On the other hand --- from now on, don't send anything that you want back.
Easy to say, I know but consider it a lesson for the future. Every year I buy DD a sweater to keep in her backpack as the classrooms are cold - I buy them from Target or Old Navy a couple of them & not expensive- but nothing that I would freak out over if we never saw it again. (DD changes classes every subject everything goes in her backpack) filled to the top and not much room for 1 more thing. A friend told me to do this, find a sale, a consignment shop and keep a couple of them for this sort of thing....

Don't beat yourself up over it. I know you are upset since it's a great coat, but things could be worse....

Take it easy....


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Joined: April 16th, 2004, 9:20 pm

May 9th, 2012, 2:33 am #6

DSs school coat for spring was in the wash and I put on his "good" coat yesterday. A little voice say "don't do it" and the other part of me said "he can be responsible". Before he left we had a bunch of punch points about caring for the coat--- keep an eye on it, it's important, leave it in your bookbag, etc., etc. DH reinforced the goal on the way to school.

This is the coat:
http://www.ralphlauren.com/product/inde ... age=family

I have matching ones for his brothers. This coat was purchased on sale last year to be worn for two years. We do this every year figuring 3 boys will wear it.

Well, yesterday he came out without it, but since he said it was in his cubby and the classroom is alway locked I didn't fret.

Today, DS came out of school with no coat and said "oh, it's gone Mom, we don't have it anymore" arrrgggghhhhhhhh!!!! So, I had to park the car (in the city), unbuckle other two sons and march into the school, deal with the teacher and crazy 3yo tantrum son, go to lost and found (and hello, why put lost and found out in the open like a freebie pile????), blah, blah, blah----- of course no coat.

I am soooooooooooooo upset with DS because he never pays attention to his belongings and imho, has no respect for things. AND I am so mad at myself because I tested him the coat. He is only 7 and I'm getting so upset over something really small in the grand scheme, but arrrrrgghhhhh again!!!

I'm sure there will be many more lost things. How do you deal?



My DS has lost so many things, mostly jackets, sweaters, lunchbox, one croc (!), socks, you name it! We have mostly found everything again. Just today he left his book in aftercare he says. It will likely be found tomorrow. I'm not sweating it too much anymore. I would also make sure not to let him take things to school that are too upsetting if they are lost; that's what I do with DS. It's kind of sad, because DD never looses anything and is allowed to bring to school pretty much whatever she wants.

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Joined: February 10th, 2009, 9:24 pm

May 9th, 2012, 3:00 am #7

DSs school coat for spring was in the wash and I put on his "good" coat yesterday. A little voice say "don't do it" and the other part of me said "he can be responsible". Before he left we had a bunch of punch points about caring for the coat--- keep an eye on it, it's important, leave it in your bookbag, etc., etc. DH reinforced the goal on the way to school.

This is the coat:
http://www.ralphlauren.com/product/inde ... age=family

I have matching ones for his brothers. This coat was purchased on sale last year to be worn for two years. We do this every year figuring 3 boys will wear it.

Well, yesterday he came out without it, but since he said it was in his cubby and the classroom is alway locked I didn't fret.

Today, DS came out of school with no coat and said "oh, it's gone Mom, we don't have it anymore" arrrgggghhhhhhhh!!!! So, I had to park the car (in the city), unbuckle other two sons and march into the school, deal with the teacher and crazy 3yo tantrum son, go to lost and found (and hello, why put lost and found out in the open like a freebie pile????), blah, blah, blah----- of course no coat.

I am soooooooooooooo upset with DS because he never pays attention to his belongings and imho, has no respect for things. AND I am so mad at myself because I tested him the coat. He is only 7 and I'm getting so upset over something really small in the grand scheme, but arrrrrgghhhhh again!!!

I'm sure there will be many more lost things. How do you deal?



and I mean that sincerely. I will not send my son to K in the fall in his nice Gymboree coat!! From reading all the posts here, I never imagined losing things was so common. I would think that, in general, boys are alot more careless than girls about their belongings. I suspect your son has so many things on his mind that he simply laid it down because he was warm while playing and forgot it because he was warm and the bell rang and he lined up as instructed. DId you check the playground? Im hoping its still laying out there. That would be pretty crazy for another parent to take a coat. I mean, where are they going to wear it, knowing it belongs to someone in the community?

Im sorry I dont have any advice on how to deal. It seems that the only things you can do now are to hope it shows up, replace the coat with a cheap model if it doesnt, and try to move on with the hopes of a lesson learned by your DS. Too bad they dont make GPS for things like this. Can you imagine the apps? Wheres my coat? Wheres my backpack? Where are my car keys?

Hang in there Omissy. I too have been really frustrated by things my son has been pulling lately. Parenting aint easy!!!

Pink
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Joined: June 20th, 2006, 2:07 am

May 9th, 2012, 11:07 am #8

DSs school coat for spring was in the wash and I put on his "good" coat yesterday. A little voice say "don't do it" and the other part of me said "he can be responsible". Before he left we had a bunch of punch points about caring for the coat--- keep an eye on it, it's important, leave it in your bookbag, etc., etc. DH reinforced the goal on the way to school.

This is the coat:
http://www.ralphlauren.com/product/inde ... age=family

I have matching ones for his brothers. This coat was purchased on sale last year to be worn for two years. We do this every year figuring 3 boys will wear it.

Well, yesterday he came out without it, but since he said it was in his cubby and the classroom is alway locked I didn't fret.

Today, DS came out of school with no coat and said "oh, it's gone Mom, we don't have it anymore" arrrgggghhhhhhhh!!!! So, I had to park the car (in the city), unbuckle other two sons and march into the school, deal with the teacher and crazy 3yo tantrum son, go to lost and found (and hello, why put lost and found out in the open like a freebie pile????), blah, blah, blah----- of course no coat.

I am soooooooooooooo upset with DS because he never pays attention to his belongings and imho, has no respect for things. AND I am so mad at myself because I tested him the coat. He is only 7 and I'm getting so upset over something really small in the grand scheme, but arrrrrgghhhhh again!!!

I'm sure there will be many more lost things. How do you deal?



grrrr, right???

I'd keep checking the lost and found a couple more times.

At DS's school, kids leave their coats all over the school yard and it could take a day or more to get to the lost and found. I'd even ask the teacher if that day when he lost it, if they went from recess straight to library or gym, maybe it was left behind inside the school. Check the cafeteria if he eats lunch outside the classroom.
I hope it resurfaces. it's a nice looking jacket.

btw, I always marvel at how much clothing gets lost when I see the lost&found pile. From what I can tell, it's really common. I used to go to another school for playgroup with my pre-school DD and you wouldn't believe the pile there, it was larger than at DS's school even though the enrolment was smaller (!!). At that school, as in our school, once a year they'd spread out the clothing and invite everybody to go have a look-see to claim their belongings.

jm


me:43, DH 44
FSH 26
DS: born by c-sec Apr15'03, 9lbs5oz 41wks gest. (after 4 years of ttc, starting in 1998)
DD born by c-sec Oct 13 2007, 8lbs13oz 39wk gest. (after just under 3 years of ttc)
~~DS was conceived naturally the cycle following a cancelled DE IVF, using my good friend's eggs. She was on the verge of hyperstimming.
~~DD's nat conception I attribute to using OPKs like a crazy nut, eating grapefruit daily and using preseed. also 5 cycles of TCM ending 2 cycles before that lucky cycle.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Joined: March 12th, 2008, 1:22 pm

May 9th, 2012, 12:44 pm #9

DSs school coat for spring was in the wash and I put on his "good" coat yesterday. A little voice say "don't do it" and the other part of me said "he can be responsible". Before he left we had a bunch of punch points about caring for the coat--- keep an eye on it, it's important, leave it in your bookbag, etc., etc. DH reinforced the goal on the way to school.

This is the coat:
http://www.ralphlauren.com/product/inde ... age=family

I have matching ones for his brothers. This coat was purchased on sale last year to be worn for two years. We do this every year figuring 3 boys will wear it.

Well, yesterday he came out without it, but since he said it was in his cubby and the classroom is alway locked I didn't fret.

Today, DS came out of school with no coat and said "oh, it's gone Mom, we don't have it anymore" arrrgggghhhhhhhh!!!! So, I had to park the car (in the city), unbuckle other two sons and march into the school, deal with the teacher and crazy 3yo tantrum son, go to lost and found (and hello, why put lost and found out in the open like a freebie pile????), blah, blah, blah----- of course no coat.

I am soooooooooooooo upset with DS because he never pays attention to his belongings and imho, has no respect for things. AND I am so mad at myself because I tested him the coat. He is only 7 and I'm getting so upset over something really small in the grand scheme, but arrrrrgghhhhh again!!!

I'm sure there will be many more lost things. How do you deal?



...because this is going to continue for quite some time. DD will be 10 in July, and I swear -- she would indeed forget her head if it wasn't attached!! And her classmates and friends are the same. It is the rare kid who keeps track of his/her stuff responsibly -- in my experience, anyway.

I've seen one girl put down her lunch box in the hallway after school to load her backpack, then walk off with the lunch box sitting in the middle of the hallway.

DD came home from a sleepover without her sleeping bag (one would think you'd remember at LEAST that, right?).

And on and on.

I'd put labels in everything, and don't send what you don't mind losing.

I know how you feel, believe me, but I've found most kids are like this -- boys and girls alike. And some of the kids who do it at DD's school are among the brightest (advanced math, etc., so presumably they have pretty great mental capacity).

Hugs,
Kat.
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Joined: February 22nd, 2006, 4:05 am

May 9th, 2012, 3:49 pm #10

DSs school coat for spring was in the wash and I put on his "good" coat yesterday. A little voice say "don't do it" and the other part of me said "he can be responsible". Before he left we had a bunch of punch points about caring for the coat--- keep an eye on it, it's important, leave it in your bookbag, etc., etc. DH reinforced the goal on the way to school.

This is the coat:
http://www.ralphlauren.com/product/inde ... age=family

I have matching ones for his brothers. This coat was purchased on sale last year to be worn for two years. We do this every year figuring 3 boys will wear it.

Well, yesterday he came out without it, but since he said it was in his cubby and the classroom is alway locked I didn't fret.

Today, DS came out of school with no coat and said "oh, it's gone Mom, we don't have it anymore" arrrgggghhhhhhhh!!!! So, I had to park the car (in the city), unbuckle other two sons and march into the school, deal with the teacher and crazy 3yo tantrum son, go to lost and found (and hello, why put lost and found out in the open like a freebie pile????), blah, blah, blah----- of course no coat.

I am soooooooooooooo upset with DS because he never pays attention to his belongings and imho, has no respect for things. AND I am so mad at myself because I tested him the coat. He is only 7 and I'm getting so upset over something really small in the grand scheme, but arrrrrgghhhhh again!!!

I'm sure there will be many more lost things. How do you deal?



I hope that someone's conscience gets the better of them and that they return it.

Nice coat, so sorry this happened.

Z.
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