Constant Lurker, Somtimes poster. Bday party question

Constant Lurker, Somtimes poster. Bday party question

Joined: April 5th, 2008, 4:49 am

January 17th, 2012, 3:05 am #1

Hi Ladies,

Well, Grace is turning "3" next month! That of course brings up the issue of birthday parties and guest. Between the 2 and 3 yr old class at daycare there are approx 17 boys and girls. The party we are having is at Grace's gymnastics academy and the cost includes 10 children total. I know even if I invite all of the kids, they won't all show. But, the issue is Grace is afraid of one girl because she tried to scratch her eyes out. This girl has LOTS of emotional issues. I do not feel like I have to invite her and frankly, we won't. Period.

Grace is not very close to some of the other kids. Do I have to invite them too?

I am just not really sure how to go about this.

Thanks Ladies!
Cheryl
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Joined: October 9th, 2006, 11:35 pm

January 17th, 2012, 3:32 am #2

Our school has a policy that if you bring invitations to school, you have to invite the entire class. If you send evites or invitations outside of class, you can invite only the kids she is close to. I had a tough time with this last year when dd turned 3 because it was the first time she was in school with her "own friends" but I had also made friends with other moms at the school but dd wasn't necessarily "friends" with their little ones. I decided to have her school party with only the kids in her class and invited all of them since there were only 10 kids and no real issues.
This year however, she is in a class of 16 and there are a few children I am trying my hardest to keep her away from. I will send invitations in the mail this year to avoid having to invite some of the kids in her class.
Sorry, I guess to go back to your question, I would only invite the kids you are comfortable with and that your little one is friends with but be sure to send the invitations outside of school so there aren't any problems with leaving someone out. Hope that helps!
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Joined: April 16th, 2004, 9:20 pm

January 17th, 2012, 5:47 am #3

Hi Ladies,

Well, Grace is turning "3" next month! That of course brings up the issue of birthday parties and guest. Between the 2 and 3 yr old class at daycare there are approx 17 boys and girls. The party we are having is at Grace's gymnastics academy and the cost includes 10 children total. I know even if I invite all of the kids, they won't all show. But, the issue is Grace is afraid of one girl because she tried to scratch her eyes out. This girl has LOTS of emotional issues. I do not feel like I have to invite her and frankly, we won't. Period.

Grace is not very close to some of the other kids. Do I have to invite them too?

I am just not really sure how to go about this.

Thanks Ladies!
Cheryl
My twins just turned 8 last week and we had a glow-in-the dark bowling party, with only their closest friends each, which ended up being 4 for DD and 4 for DS. Bottom line is I agree with Stephanie and only invite who you think DD would love to see at the party. I've now done it all, small party, but people brought siblings and relatives; big party which ended up $$ and huge amount of work, sleep-over party, less $ but lots of gray hair and clean-up thereafter; medium party and people felt left out. So, this year, DD invited 4 girls from school (not all in her class) and 2 girls from figure skating and DS 3 boys from school (not all in his class) and one boy from Hockey. Two girls and one boy couldn't make it and the party wasn't too big. I mentioned in the invite that due to the venue, siblings cannot be accommodated. At this age and having known most people for a couple of years this worked smoothly and I loved it. It's hard to make it right by everyone, but I think as kids get older, parents get more experienced on how to handle the party etiquette. Right now, I think my kids should invite who they are friends with, regardless of where they know the kids from, if it's from camp or an afterschool activity that's fine. At our school kids get shuffled in their class room and DD and her BFF have been separated since Kindergarten. If I only were to invite her class, BFF would be left out and DD would be sad. - I only do evite and my kids know not to talk to others at school about this. It's not cool to feel left out, so they have learned that part. I would do either invitations in the mail or Evite, very convenient.

Have fun and happy birthday to DD!!!

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Joined: February 10th, 2009, 9:24 pm

January 17th, 2012, 6:39 am #4

Hi Ladies,

Well, Grace is turning "3" next month! That of course brings up the issue of birthday parties and guest. Between the 2 and 3 yr old class at daycare there are approx 17 boys and girls. The party we are having is at Grace's gymnastics academy and the cost includes 10 children total. I know even if I invite all of the kids, they won't all show. But, the issue is Grace is afraid of one girl because she tried to scratch her eyes out. This girl has LOTS of emotional issues. I do not feel like I have to invite her and frankly, we won't. Period.

Grace is not very close to some of the other kids. Do I have to invite them too?

I am just not really sure how to go about this.

Thanks Ladies!
Cheryl
I brought in treats and made up goodie bags for all the kids at daycare (the tags just said: "To a Girl, From, DS, since I didnt know which children would be in on that day. I found these bags of goodie bag stuff for 12 kids for about $8 at Walmart in the party section. They had some sets appropriate for girls and some for boys. Some of the things were pretty nice for so little money!! And perfect for age 3-5, I would say. At my sons daycare, they sing and eat the treats and treat it like a little party at school. The teacher put the goodie bags in each childs take home bin so they didnt open them in class but took them home at the end of the day.

If you did this, I would just invite a couple of special buddies to your play place party. Does your daycare give a roster of phone numbers and emails? If so, Id send those invites privately and not through the daycare distribution system.

As for that girl trying to scratch her eyes out, that is just frightening. What is the daycare doing about this girl? She sounds like a danger to others.

Happy 3rd birthday to Grace!!

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Joined: February 10th, 2009, 9:24 pm

January 17th, 2012, 6:42 am #5

My twins just turned 8 last week and we had a glow-in-the dark bowling party, with only their closest friends each, which ended up being 4 for DD and 4 for DS. Bottom line is I agree with Stephanie and only invite who you think DD would love to see at the party. I've now done it all, small party, but people brought siblings and relatives; big party which ended up $$ and huge amount of work, sleep-over party, less $ but lots of gray hair and clean-up thereafter; medium party and people felt left out. So, this year, DD invited 4 girls from school (not all in her class) and 2 girls from figure skating and DS 3 boys from school (not all in his class) and one boy from Hockey. Two girls and one boy couldn't make it and the party wasn't too big. I mentioned in the invite that due to the venue, siblings cannot be accommodated. At this age and having known most people for a couple of years this worked smoothly and I loved it. It's hard to make it right by everyone, but I think as kids get older, parents get more experienced on how to handle the party etiquette. Right now, I think my kids should invite who they are friends with, regardless of where they know the kids from, if it's from camp or an afterschool activity that's fine. At our school kids get shuffled in their class room and DD and her BFF have been separated since Kindergarten. If I only were to invite her class, BFF would be left out and DD would be sad. - I only do evite and my kids know not to talk to others at school about this. It's not cool to feel left out, so they have learned that part. I would do either invitations in the mail or Evite, very convenient.

Have fun and happy birthday to DD!!!

I love that you teach your kids not to talk about their parties at school. I havent crossed that bridge yet, but you have given me a very good tip in advance. I remember in 5th grade hearing about a birthday party that I wasnt invited to. It hurt! Yet I dont feel, as a parent, that kids should have to invite the whole class. Thats not fair to anyone!!

Thanks, Sabina!

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Joined: August 30th, 2006, 9:39 pm

January 17th, 2012, 3:23 pm #6

Hi Ladies,

Well, Grace is turning "3" next month! That of course brings up the issue of birthday parties and guest. Between the 2 and 3 yr old class at daycare there are approx 17 boys and girls. The party we are having is at Grace's gymnastics academy and the cost includes 10 children total. I know even if I invite all of the kids, they won't all show. But, the issue is Grace is afraid of one girl because she tried to scratch her eyes out. This girl has LOTS of emotional issues. I do not feel like I have to invite her and frankly, we won't. Period.

Grace is not very close to some of the other kids. Do I have to invite them too?

I am just not really sure how to go about this.

Thanks Ladies!
Cheryl
Hi Cheryl,
Our daycare would do a small celebration in class -- I'd bring a "treat" - we have a summer bday, so juice pops rule! check with your daycare - ours required that items be store-bought because ingredients could be verified for allergies. One year, there was a field trip on DD's birthday, so I brought a package of Oreos.
Then we could have a smaller party, invite only. As others have mentioned, if you bring the invites to class, you probably should invite everyone. If you do it by email or mail, you decide who to invite.

S
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Joined: February 20th, 2006, 11:35 pm

January 17th, 2012, 8:26 pm #7

Hi Ladies,

Well, Grace is turning "3" next month! That of course brings up the issue of birthday parties and guest. Between the 2 and 3 yr old class at daycare there are approx 17 boys and girls. The party we are having is at Grace's gymnastics academy and the cost includes 10 children total. I know even if I invite all of the kids, they won't all show. But, the issue is Grace is afraid of one girl because she tried to scratch her eyes out. This girl has LOTS of emotional issues. I do not feel like I have to invite her and frankly, we won't. Period.

Grace is not very close to some of the other kids. Do I have to invite them too?

I am just not really sure how to go about this.

Thanks Ladies!
Cheryl
I've never invited an entire class to a party outside of school. I have brought in cupcakes to the school for the entire class; but for parties at our house (or at an outside venue, which I've only done twice), we've always invited only some kids, not all. But we mail or e-mail invitations, never send them in to the class. And I do teach the kids not to talk about their party at school.

Hope this helps.
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Joined: December 29th, 2006, 10:07 am

January 17th, 2012, 9:40 pm #8

Hi Ladies,

Well, Grace is turning "3" next month! That of course brings up the issue of birthday parties and guest. Between the 2 and 3 yr old class at daycare there are approx 17 boys and girls. The party we are having is at Grace's gymnastics academy and the cost includes 10 children total. I know even if I invite all of the kids, they won't all show. But, the issue is Grace is afraid of one girl because she tried to scratch her eyes out. This girl has LOTS of emotional issues. I do not feel like I have to invite her and frankly, we won't. Period.

Grace is not very close to some of the other kids. Do I have to invite them too?

I am just not really sure how to go about this.

Thanks Ladies!
Cheryl
kids get invited to small ones usually and some get invited to big ones.

I had a party for my son in which I invited his whole nursery. But I know that there are parties being held where the parent obviously do not feel obliged to return the invite and I am not at all bothered by that (because I know it is because our kids are not especially friendly or in the same group)

so I am all for, having a party where you invite true friends (as it was a heck of a lot of work and expense doing the whole nursery - not an experience I am in a hurry to repeat!)
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Joined: April 13th, 2005, 10:53 pm

January 17th, 2012, 9:53 pm #9

Hi Ladies,

Well, Grace is turning "3" next month! That of course brings up the issue of birthday parties and guest. Between the 2 and 3 yr old class at daycare there are approx 17 boys and girls. The party we are having is at Grace's gymnastics academy and the cost includes 10 children total. I know even if I invite all of the kids, they won't all show. But, the issue is Grace is afraid of one girl because she tried to scratch her eyes out. This girl has LOTS of emotional issues. I do not feel like I have to invite her and frankly, we won't. Period.

Grace is not very close to some of the other kids. Do I have to invite them too?

I am just not really sure how to go about this.

Thanks Ladies!
Cheryl
DS has parties every year with his original playgroup. The babies were 6 weeks-5 months old when we started are turning 6 this year! I used to invite everyone but over time it is clear that DS is not as attached to some kids. Also our school has a rule about not sending invitations to class unless you are inviting everyone so maybe you could use evites or paper mail invitations.
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Joined: April 5th, 2008, 4:49 am

January 18th, 2012, 3:23 am #10

Hi Ladies,

Well, Grace is turning "3" next month! That of course brings up the issue of birthday parties and guest. Between the 2 and 3 yr old class at daycare there are approx 17 boys and girls. The party we are having is at Grace's gymnastics academy and the cost includes 10 children total. I know even if I invite all of the kids, they won't all show. But, the issue is Grace is afraid of one girl because she tried to scratch her eyes out. This girl has LOTS of emotional issues. I do not feel like I have to invite her and frankly, we won't. Period.

Grace is not very close to some of the other kids. Do I have to invite them too?

I am just not really sure how to go about this.

Thanks Ladies!
Cheryl
Ladies,

I am only replying this way because it seems like everyone is on the same page. I appreciate EVERYONE for taking the time to reply and it has helped me a lot. I was actually thinking the very same things!

We will definitely do cupcakes for the entire class. Last year I did a goody bag for everyone but, I am not sure I will do that this year because of the expense of this years party. In years past we only did family parties and they weren't so expensive.

My only trick now is to get the addresses of all students. They won't give them out at daycare. But I can usually find stuff like that on white pages because I do know most of the parents names and generally area they live in.

Thanks again o' wise ladies! You are the best. I am very excited for this party because it is her first friends party. I just hope it all goes fairly smooth. I love her gymnastics academy and so does she, so I am sure it will......but I feel like I am having prom night jitters!

Love to you all!!

Cheryl
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