Wedding Question

Wedding Question

WeddingDude2012
WeddingDude2012

May 20th, 2012, 10:44 pm #1

My best friend is getting married some time next summer. She has invited me to come to the wedding sans children. According to my friend it is a small venue . . . and there just isn't enough room for kids. Despite this, her fiance is bringing his nephews who are around the same age as my children.

I woke up this morning thinking about it. I'm pissed off. The first thought was . . . why would I go to her wedding anyway? Why is it her fiance's kids are O.K. and there is room enough for them, but not for my kids?

My wife has told me she will stay home with our children rather than go with me.

Just wondering what you all thought on this subject.
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Balti
Balti

May 20th, 2012, 11:13 pm #2

Are the nephews ring bearers or anything? If so, I'd give it a pass. If not, it's a slippery slope. I can sort of understand if children who are very close to the couple being invited, but then one risks offending people (like you) whose children are not invited. If I were planning a wedding, all kids would be invited or no kids at all. But it's a tricky thing, especially with family dynamics. Get a babysitter and have a good time.
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Joined: November 29th, 2004, 2:50 pm

May 20th, 2012, 11:58 pm #3

My best friend is getting married some time next summer. She has invited me to come to the wedding sans children. According to my friend it is a small venue . . . and there just isn't enough room for kids. Despite this, her fiance is bringing his nephews who are around the same age as my children.

I woke up this morning thinking about it. I'm pissed off. The first thought was . . . why would I go to her wedding anyway? Why is it her fiance's kids are O.K. and there is room enough for them, but not for my kids?

My wife has told me she will stay home with our children rather than go with me.

Just wondering what you all thought on this subject.
re: "why would I go to her wedding anyway?"

Didn't you just say she is your best friend?


re: "Why is it her fiance's kids are O.K. and there is room enough for them, but not for my kids?"

I wish people would understand that weddings are really for the couple but that's rarely what happens, is it? You're married. Don't you remember the stress of trying to please everyone? Everyone having a comment about what you did or didn't do? Cut her some slack. She's doing the best she can. Go and celebrate this day with her.
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Joined: November 9th, 2004, 12:23 am

May 21st, 2012, 12:24 am #4

I'm with Arwen. It's her wedding, and she can invite who she chooses. If her fiancé's nephews are going, they're going. They're probably going to be bored as anything the entire time, so don't begrudge them that!

As to whether or not you're going to go - she is your best friend, why not go and enjoy? But if you're going to go and dwell on resentfulness about your kids not being there, don't go.
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jo
jo

May 21st, 2012, 12:42 am #5

ditto 3x
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Joined: December 23rd, 2007, 2:39 am

May 21st, 2012, 2:11 am #6

I'd prefer not having to bring kids to a wedding.
Weddings are boring for kids.
If you're going to be pissy about it then don't go.
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Joined: May 25th, 2002, 12:00 am

May 21st, 2012, 2:58 am #7

When I got married, I made it very clear to the invitees that children were not invited. Period. My cousin (who is about 20 years older than me with 4 children at the time) was very pissed off and made it known to my mother and many many family members. I held firm, contacted her directly, and reiterated my request that I did not want the event to include children.

Guess what? She brought 2 of the 4 kids anyway. And they chased each other around the cake table while my new husband and I were attempting to cut the cake and take pictures. Until my new husband tripped the boy and I grabbed the little girl up by the front of her dress and walked her over to her parents table, plopping her down in a chair.

What is wrong with people?

Of course, the other invitees, upon seeing these two demons at my wedding were super pissed at me thinking that I had sanctioned it after they left their "darlings" at home. Oy vey!

ETA: Leave your kids at home and go to the wedding. Why would you ever want to take your children to a place where they are not wanted? Sheesh.



Last edited by AnnyBoo on May 21st, 2012, 2:58 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Joined: February 5th, 2003, 5:14 am

May 21st, 2012, 4:40 am #8

I wish the people whose weddings my parents dragged me to when I was little had made rules forbidding children. I thought weddings were almost as boring as church was when I was a kid.

Come to think of it, I still consider weddings to be pretty awful.

.
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Joined: October 23rd, 2004, 4:46 am

May 21st, 2012, 5:28 am #9

My best friend is getting married some time next summer. She has invited me to come to the wedding sans children. According to my friend it is a small venue . . . and there just isn't enough room for kids. Despite this, her fiance is bringing his nephews who are around the same age as my children.

I woke up this morning thinking about it. I'm pissed off. The first thought was . . . why would I go to her wedding anyway? Why is it her fiance's kids are O.K. and there is room enough for them, but not for my kids?

My wife has told me she will stay home with our children rather than go with me.

Just wondering what you all thought on this subject.
"Why is it her fiance's kids are O.K. and there is room enough for them, but not for my kids?"

The difference between you and her fiance is that you're not her fiance. Thus, your kids matter less. How much less? Estimate how much the wedding will cost per-head and figure that number is X. Bearing in mind that number - estimate that your kids are somewhere between $0-$X less important.
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Joined: March 22nd, 2007, 1:50 pm

May 21st, 2012, 11:53 am #10

Regardless about how everyone feels about kids at weddings, its odd to me that wedding guy feels that his children are on par with the fiancee's nephews.

Lets see, his children are related to NOBODY at the wedding, and have probably spent Christmases, birthdays, and the like with exactly ZERO other attendees at the wedding.

The fiancee's nephews are, firstly, his brother's children, secondly, his parents grandchildren, have probably spent a gajillion hours with other attendees of the wedding over the years since they're actually related to a boatload of other attendees.

For OP to equate his kids with the fiancee's nephews is inappropriate to begin with, IMO.
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